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essay14-Sep-2006work/schoolSillyDrea by votes50561.7%

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What would you do about a two-faced co-worker?

Someone at your office is nice and appears to be your friend. You may have gone to lunch together, let him/her borrow your car, or just been a helping hand. But behind your back he/she tries to sabotage your reputation, tell others things you have not said, or is just down right devious.


 


UserComment
Zang
posted 14-Sep-2006 1:10am  
Been there done that!

The last job I had there was one of those. A woman who seemed to do everything she could to undermine me. Constantly bad-mouthing me to the boss...I wouldn't describe her as a "friend" at all though we did appear to get along okay in the office. What she didn't know was that the boss and I actually had a "secret friendship" that extended outside the workplace. We kept it pretty hush hush, but we used to go out for drinks, go out dancing, crash on each others couches etc.

What I used to do was make a point of praising her in front of the boss. I knew it would drive her mental!  * raspberry *

At one point she quit for several months and after she left, the boss told me about her undermining me and such. I told her that I knew all about it and reminded her how I handled it (see above). We thought it was pretty funny really!  * laughing out loud *
RGirl
posted 14-Sep-2006 1:16am  
Kick her ass.


I would confront her in front of everyone............and probably cry.
clare
posted 14-Sep-2006 1:22am  
I haven't personally experienced it, but if I did, I'd handle it the same way I handled a two-faced classmate in high school. I'd cut out all contact with them.
Venetian2416
posted 14-Sep-2006 2:34am  
Cry.
ausfox
posted 14-Sep-2006 3:40am  
I'd confront them about it.
judgescratch
posted 14-Sep-2006 7:12am  
After the initial sting, I'd keep all future relations professional only.
bill Survey Central Gold Subscriber Silver Star Survey Creator
posted 14-Sep-2006 7:23am  
I'd start calling him/her "Janus", as a kind of nickname. If they asked why, I'd just shrug and say, "I don't know."
Matty
posted 14-Sep-2006 8:36am  
play politics even harder until I win
Scott
posted 14-Sep-2006 8:39am  
I'd walk right up to them, look them square in the eyes... and punch them... twice... Once in each face.
LoriJanine
posted 14-Sep-2006 9:39am  
I'd probably be cold and rude to them.
Galomorro
posted 14-Sep-2006 11:04am  
I've known people like that. One of the worst kinds of people imaginable in a workplace. I'd try to stay away from them as much as possible and say as little as possible to them. If they do that to you, they probably do it to others as well.
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
posted 14-Sep-2006 12:13pm  
If I found out about it, I would stop being that person's friend. I don't know if I would confront them about it.
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
(reply to bill) posted 14-Sep-2006 12:15pm  
 * laughing out loud * I was trying to come up with a Janus joke for my answer, too! But I failed.  * frown *
LJD Survey Qualifier
posted 14-Sep-2006 1:06pm  
Personally, I would feel sad for her. I'm saying her because I don't have male "friends". I obviously wouldn't like what she did, and depending on the degree she went to destroy my reputation, would I speak to her again. I would ask her, privately, why she did it. If I couldn't get an answer from her, I would no longer have any social connection with her. I've never had anything like that happen...feel sad for anyone that has had it done to them.
romkey Survey Central Gold Subscriber
posted 14-Sep-2006 1:54pm  
I'd talk to this person about it.
mve17
posted 14-Sep-2006 2:42pm  
I am the two faced co-worker  * evil smile *
ElvisFan67
posted 14-Sep-2006 5:52pm  
I would avoid this person as much as possible and if it affects my working relationship with other colleagues, I'd report it to my supervisor.
Amanda
posted 14-Sep-2006 6:12pm  
I would probably confront the person. After that, I'd have as little to do with them as possible.
cerealkiller Survey Qualifier
posted 14-Sep-2006 7:14pm  
Kill the jerk.
ultamate
posted 14-Sep-2006 7:54pm  
I had this happen before. After several attempts to clear the matter up through management and failed, I found out the source of the rumors myself. I would have never thought the source of the rumors would be from my 'good' friend and co-worker, but every thing pointed to her. Then she slipped in saying the wrong thing to the right person and I knew it could be no one but her. At that point I confronted her myself (off hours of course). She tried to deign it but the more she deigned it the more things I brought up, telling her that there were certain lies that had some truth that only she would have known. I finally just told her that if the rumors continued I would contact the corporate office and file a harassment complaint. I'm not sure if it was the confronting her or the threat but something made her shut her mouth. The really sad part was this was all because she didn't like my best friend. * rolls eyes *
caviartaste
posted 14-Sep-2006 8:25pm  
Get witnesses whenever possible to their deviousness... don't change who you are to catch this person in their devious behavior though. If you leave them enough rope - they will usually hang themselves. Do NOT give them a second chance to do it to you again. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck - it ain't a hippopotamus!  * smile *
SillyDrea
posted 14-Sep-2006 8:52pm  
Drag 'em out to tar and feather them.
Enigma
posted 14-Sep-2006 10:27pm  
Well, I wouldn't be anything but cordial to the person from the minute I found out. I've come across all kinds like this and I don't buy into their childish games. They usually hang themselves in the end,
hypersky
posted 14-Sep-2006 11:13pm  
Confront her/him and air things out. This type of behaviour cannot go on without being addressed.
cloudhugger Survey Central Gold Subscriber
posted 14-Sep-2006 11:48pm  
This has probably happened to quite a few people. There isn't much you can do but let their reputation precede them. Or if anyone else in the office that has listened to the gossip has the backbone to confront you, than you can tell them the truth. Kill them with kindness. Tell them you know they are talking about you, that's what I did, tell them 'it always gets back to me what you say'.
Iseult Silver Star Survey Creator Survey Qualifier
posted 15-Sep-2006 2:33pm  
Kill their first born.
Jody
posted 15-Sep-2006 3:30pm  
I would address them directly about what I have heard without mentioning sources, and whatever their response, hope that discourages the behavior. I would also begin documenting what I have found out, and my response to it, so hopefully there is some factual information available should this turn into some sort of professional issue.
southernyankee
posted 15-Sep-2006 5:55pm  
Don't get involved in office politics. If they talk behind your back, they probabbly do that with not just you. I would say tactfully don't talk to that person anymore and go find an excuse not to deal with that person. Something along the lines "oh, I am so sorry I couldn't make it, my car broke down", "sorry I can't make it, um, me and my gf/bf are going out that night".

Talking back behind their backs to get back at them probabbly isn't a very good idea. That would most likely backfire. When worse comes to worse, annomounsly tell the human resources about it. Or if possible, simply quit and move on.
southernyankee
(reply to LJD) posted 15-Sep-2006 5:58pm  
"Personally, I would feel sad for her. I'm saying her because I don't have male "friends"."

For some reason its usually women who do that sort of thing, talking behind other people's backs.
LJD Survey Qualifier
(reply to southernyankee) posted 16-Sep-2006 5:22am  
You're right I believe...I've heard women are notorious for talking behind a person's back and those that do, are more than likely really very insecure within themselves...not an excuse, only a reason. I've really never heard that to be a characteristic of a man.
CGTREE
posted 16-Sep-2006 9:48am  
Rip one face off of them.
minion
posted 16-Sep-2006 4:27pm  
not talk to them about personal stuff
Gomezy3k
posted 17-Sep-2006 10:42am  
There is a big desert out there and if you dig deep enough, they will never find the body... or for less drastic options, brownies made from exlax is always good.... I have a very good book filled with ideas for revenge... they work...
RGirl
(reply to Gomezy3k) posted 17-Sep-2006 4:04pm  
When I was working at a hospital one of my fellow nurses had an eating disorder of some nature. She stole other employees food from the fridge. She even at a patients tray of food in front of the patient! She assumed the patient was completely out of it. Later in the day a doctor asked the woman about her appetite & she told the doctor the nurse ate her food! Anyway, stealing from the fridge we assumed it was her but some one wanted to make sure so they did the ex lax in the chili. Sure enough, V went home with diarrhea later that afternoon.
JessicaWoman99 Gold Star Survey Creator
posted 18-Sep-2006 2:13pm  
I would kick her freaking butt all the way to Washington D.C. and knock the crap' out of her
JessicaWoman99 Gold Star Survey Creator
(reply to Zang) posted 18-Sep-2006 2:15pm  
> Been there done that!
>
> The last job I had there was one of those. A woman who seemed to do
> everything she could to undermine me. Constantly bad-mouthing me to
> the boss...I wouldn't describe her as a "friend" at all though we
> did appear to get along okay in the office. What she didn't know was
> that the boss and I actually had a "secret friendship" that extended
> outside the workplace. We kept it pretty hush hush, but we used to
> go out for drinks, go out dancing, crash on each others couches etc.
>
> What I used to do was make a point of praising her in front of
> the boss. I knew it would drive her mental!  * raspberry *
>
> At one point she quit for several months and after she left, the boss
> told me about her undermining me and such. I told her that I knew
> all about it and reminded her how I handled it (see above). We thought
> it was pretty funny really!  * laughing out loud *

That was me the woman you are talking about? Ha ha"
Amanda
(reply to JessicaWoman99) posted 18-Sep-2006 3:10pm  
I haven't seen you around in a while. How's everything going?
Liss
posted 18-Sep-2006 3:50pm  
Tell the boss
Zang
(reply to JessicaWoman99) posted 19-Sep-2006 2:29am  
No, it was someone else. Why, are you really bad a playing "office politics" too?  * raspberry *
autumnlight
posted 20-Sep-2006 3:24pm  
Confront them. People in the workplace should be too old for playground behaviour and should be exposed for the idiots they are.
JessicaWoman99 Gold Star Survey Creator
(reply to Amanda) posted 21-Sep-2006 12:08pm  
> I haven't seen you around in a while. How's everything going?

Right now I got my computer working somehow?? And so far I have been very very sick Mentally which is no fun' to go thru
JessicaWoman99 Gold Star Survey Creator
(reply to Zang) posted 21-Sep-2006 12:11pm  
> No, it was someone else. Why, are you really bad a playing "office
> politics" too?  * raspberry *

I have been in a Psycho Ward at a Mental Health Hospital and I have been a bad bad girl for trying to commit suicide
Zang
(reply to JessicaWoman99) posted 21-Sep-2006 1:55pm  
I'm sorry to hear that.
Amanda
(reply to JessicaWoman99) posted 21-Sep-2006 2:44pm  
I hope everything works out for you. It's good to see you back.  * grin *
JessicaWoman99 Gold Star Survey Creator
(reply to Zang) posted 21-Sep-2006 3:03pm  
> I'm sorry to hear that.

I have to behave myself and just get myself feeling better and suicide is a No' No' for anybody
JessicaWoman99 Gold Star Survey Creator
(reply to Amanda) posted 21-Sep-2006 3:05pm  
> I hope everything works out for you. It's good to see you back.  * grin *

It is soo sweet being back and back in my body instead of being dead or something'
JessicaWoman99 Gold Star Survey Creator
(reply to JessicaWoman99) posted 21-Sep-2006 3:07pm  
> |> I hope everything works out for you. It's good to see you back.
>  * grin *
>
> It is soo sweet being back and back in my body instead of being dead
> or something'

Plus I am still not feeling all that well being on medications
Zang
(reply to JessicaWoman99) posted 22-Sep-2006 12:08am  
Go to the "happy place". Try to think happy thoughts.  * smile *
JessicaWoman99 Gold Star Survey Creator
(reply to Zang) posted 22-Sep-2006 5:34am  
> Go to the "happy place". Try to think happy thoughts.  * smile *

I have been told this before the happy place and happy thoughts , many thanks' Zang and just what I need
Zang
(reply to JessicaWoman99) posted 22-Sep-2006 4:06pm  
When you're feeling low, remember you always have your SC friends to talk to.  * wink *
JessicaWoman99 Gold Star Survey Creator
(reply to Zang) posted 22-Sep-2006 8:29pm  
> When you're feeling low, remember you always have your SC friends
> to talk to.  * wink *

Yes the many friends I have here on SC , so wonderful' to lift up my spirits when I am down
annagreen
posted 25-Sep-2006 2:34pm  
Confront them about it. Otherwise the problem will continue. If they are made aware that you know what they are doing, that might motivate them to stop.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator Survey Qualifier This user is on the site NOW (2 minutes ago)
posted 5-Oct-2006 7:31pm  
In my current workplace, ignore them as far as possible, and secure support from my co-workers. I'm only going to be there another year so it wouldn't bother me overly.
prospero
posted 3-Nov-2006 12:40am  
First, I'd make certain I document every interaction I had with this person. Second, I'd make certain that I had a witness or witnesses that would back me up if it came to that. I'm not all that confrontational, but there comes a time when you have to draw a line in the sand.
kitti723
posted 5-Nov-2006 2:12pm  
Talk about them behind their backs, just kidding. First of all, are you sure that they really said things behind your back. Consider that the source may be unreliable. I would confront the person. If this is someone that you thought was a friend then maybe they would appreciate your telling them that someone they may consider a friend is going behind their back. Especially if it's not true. Who are you obligated to? The person who is supposedly talking behind your back or the person who told you that they were?
patarnone
posted 28-Nov-2006 3:09pm  
Stop associating with them.

If they ever asked my why I'm not around anymore, I might reply, "Because you're a lying, two-faced, chicken/SOB".
darkshadowsseeker
posted 4-Jun-2007 12:22pm  
I'd confront them directly.
Lkessler41
posted 4-Feb-2009 3:17pm  
I can tell you that, just today, I had a chat with my boss, in private, about a co-worker who insists on undermining me. He told me in no uncertain terms that what she told me this morning (insinuating that people in the office do not like me / my attitude) as pure, unadulterated bullcrap, that she's on a power trip and that he'd put a stop to it. I handled it like an adult, and she came off in front of the boss as an idiot and a bully. To say that I am pleased with my boss is the short end of it. To say that I am extremely pleased with how she came off looking is even better.

Needless to say, she's on the boss' short crap list. And she'd better watch it--because he's on notice as to what she's been doing and the rumors she's been spreading about me. It makes her look petty and childish.
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