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Is 'Stains' an appropriate name for a dog? surprise



VotesAnswer
23Yes
8No
11Other


UserComment
Dunkan
posted 31-Jul-2003 3:50pm  
Where oh where has my little dog gone...
COME STAINS! wink laughing out loud
Hyena
posted 31-Jul-2003 3:53pm  
Kind of a cool name. Kind of like *paint* or *spot*.
Amanda
posted 31-Jul-2003 4:01pm  
Sure. I think it's kind of cute.
Jody
posted 31-Jul-2003 4:05pm  
If the shoe fits.......I mean, I once met a poodle named Stinky, so anything goes, really.
Dunkan
posted 31-Jul-2003 4:09pm  
Does no one get the joke???
Amanda
(reply to Dunkan) posted 31-Jul-2003 4:25pm  
Yes, I got the joke, but I didn't find it humorous.
Dunkan
(reply to Amanda) posted 31-Jul-2003 4:28pm  
Thanks, your comment really got me laughing!!! laughing out loud
Amanda
(reply to Dunkan) posted 31-Jul-2003 4:49pm  
Do you try to be an ass or does it come naturally?
Dunkan
(reply to Amanda) posted 31-Jul-2003 5:07pm  
Define "ass"
Dunkan
(reply to Amanda) posted 31-Jul-2003 5:08pm  
Wait a minute. You're the idiot from the sunrise/sunset question. Just go away, please!
Amanda
(reply to Dunkan) posted 31-Jul-2003 5:15pm  
ass: a vain, self-important, silly, or aggressively stupid person.

And, you might want to correct yourself. YOU are the idiot from the sunrise survey. Go away? No problem, as long as you stop making replies to my comments. I, personally, don't need your stupid comments which have little, if not nothing, to do with the comments I make.
juliw
posted 31-Jul-2003 5:36pm  
I have no opinion. You can name your pet whatever you choose.
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
posted 31-Jul-2003 6:50pm  
If s/he makes stains a lot, or looks stained.
lily333
posted 31-Jul-2003 9:13pm  
Sure why not.
darkshadowsseeker
posted 31-Jul-2003 11:48pm  
It would really depend on whether the dog was living up to it's name.
romkey Survey Central Gold Subscriber
posted 1-Aug-2003 12:02am  
that, or "Puddles" smile
southernyankee
posted 1-Aug-2003 12:22am  
no, and any owner who actually names their dog "stains" should be put in a dog pound for a day.
southernyankee
posted 1-Aug-2003 12:32am  
oh yeah, also, any one who makes a survey "Is 'Stains' an appropriate name for a dog?" (especially if they put it under opinion ratehr than monkee catogory) and who actually thinks its funny should be put in a dog pound with a pit bull named 'stain' as a cell mate for a week. Preferable one thats in for bitting neighbors who hasent seen a dog in a while.

and then he/she could be covered with blood and 'stain cum stains'.
mandy
posted 1-Aug-2003 3:27am  
No, because you have to call him like this "Come Stains!"
OfTheSoul
posted 1-Aug-2003 4:04am  
Ok, why not?
kaleb777
posted 1-Aug-2003 7:02am  
Yes. It's quite cute.
Dino
posted 1-Aug-2003 7:12am  
If you want to call it stains then do. But what is your motive?
Dunkan
(reply to southernyankee) posted 1-Aug-2003 10:08am  
Pathetic, aren't you? duh!
Dunkan
(reply to southernyankee) posted 1-Aug-2003 10:18am  
By the way, I did a quick scan of surveys you've created laughing out loud You poor lost soul!
FordGuy
posted 1-Aug-2003 10:39am  
It beats calling him, "Stay."
justjulie
posted 1-Aug-2003 11:09am  
sure..does it suit the dog?
i have a cat named damnit, does it suit the cat? absolutely
justjulie
(reply to Dunkan) posted 1-Aug-2003 11:11am  
ok...NOW i get the joke!! that's hilarious!!smile
Dunkan
(reply to FordGuy) posted 1-Aug-2003 12:30pm  
lol
Glassa
posted 1-Aug-2003 5:14pm  
Sure, why not.
He'll probably make a lot of them anyway. smile
southernyankee
(reply to Dunkan) posted 1-Aug-2003 5:36pm  
just what is that supposed to mean? Are my survys bad or something. Just waht is wrong with them? Are you talking about ratings, cause I dont even give a crap about.
Dunkan
posted 1-Aug-2003 6:05pm  
Your still a child. I didn't realize that until I read the Bob Hope survey. I'll let it pass.
Richard47
(reply to southernyankee) posted 1-Aug-2003 8:45pm  
So....many....words.....Snake!!!!!
Richard47
(reply to Dunkan) posted 1-Aug-2003 8:59pm  
Slow down with the insults, Dunk! They'll try to murder you!!! I've been called a troll, arrogant, righteous-of-self (OfTheSoullaughing out loud), devious, horrid, rude, impertanant, an asswad (???). They've tried to bar me, 86 me, banish me...police have showed up at my home, anthrax in the mail, I've been shot at (I'm sure it was Romkey, he lives one street away from me), etc...etc...Need I say more!! Play nice smile
Richard47
(reply to OfTheSoul) posted 1-Aug-2003 9:03pm  

You're struttin' into town like you're slingin' a gun
Just a small town dude with a big city attitude
Honey are ya lookin' for some trouble tonight
Well all right

You think you're so bad, drive the men folk wild
Shoot 'em all down with the flash of your pearly smile
Honey but you met your match tonight
Oh, that's right

You think you'll knock me off my feet 'til I'm flat on the floor
'Til my heart is cryin' Indian and I'm beggin for more
So come on baby
Come on baby show me what that loaded gun is for

If you can give it I can take it
'Cause if this heart is gonna break it's gonna take a lot to break it I know tonight
Somebody's gonna win the fight
So if you're so tough
Come on and prove it
You heart is down for the count and you know you're gonna lose it
Tonight you're gonna go down in flames
Just like Jesse James

You're an outlaw lover and I'm after your hide
Well you ain't so strong, won't be long 'til your hands are tied
Tonight I'm gonna take you in dead or alive
That's right

You break the laws of love in the name of desire
Take ten steps back cause I'm ready baby
Aim and fire
Baby there's nowhere you gonna run tonight
Ooh that's right

Well you've had your way with love but it's the end of the day
Now a team of wild horses couldn't drag your heart away
So come on baby
Come on baby
Come on baby you know there ain't nothing left to say

You think you'll knock me off my feet 'til I'm flat on the floor
'Til my heart is cryin' Indian and I'm beggin for more
So come on baby
Come on baby, come on

Tonight you're gonna go down in flames
Just like Jesse James
Tonight you're gonna go down in flames
Just like Jesse James

I'm gonna shoot you down Jesse James




srflorida
posted 1-Aug-2003 9:21pm  
sounds like something that is dirty and ruined
southernyankee
(reply to Richard47) posted 1-Aug-2003 10:21pm  
32. Is that a lot???
Dunkan
(reply to Richard47) posted 1-Aug-2003 11:14pm  
Now that I know their ages, I can understand where they're coming from. I was young once, too.
Richard47
(reply to Dunkan) posted 1-Aug-2003 11:46pm  
They're not THAT young, Dunkan. When I was in my early 20's, I had been married and divorced (to women)...twice!!..with a baby daughter!
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 1-Aug-2003 11:51pm  
Richard47 replies to Dunkan Slow down with the insults, Dunk! They'll try to murder you!!! I've been called a troll, arrogant, righteous-of-self (OfTheSoul ), devious, horrid, rude, impertanant, an asswad (???). They've tried to bar me, 86 me, banish me...police have showed up at my home, anthrax in the mail, I've been shot at (I'm sure it was Romkey, he lives one street away from me), etc...etc...Need I say more!! Play nice

OK, how many people have said and done these things, and do you think they are operating at an adolescent level?
How many times have I called you any name?
And I ask again... what have I said that leads you to believe that I seem to be at a 14 year old level?
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 2-Aug-2003 12:07am  
Kristal-Rose gave you the age of "2". I, at least, added 12 more years on for you. I must agree with her. You are eloquent in your cerebral formation of intent, but adolescent in your perception of "others" in their relation to you. By your own words, you claim, "Aspergers" which freezes individuals developmentally until they are ready to move on.

*The above activities do not necessarily stem from immaturity...simply adults with over active imaginations.
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 2-Aug-2003 12:15am  
But I never claimed I was "still" frozen at any sort of adolescent level. I have moved on SIGNIFICANTLY since adolescence, as most people with Asperger's do. There are a few tiny insignificant setbacks that linger as a result, and probably never completely go away. Those things are so insignificant they hardly matter, though.
How am I adolescent in my perception of others in relation to me? I don't think people percieve me any different than anyone else, unless they happen to notice some of my odd quirks. That happens in workplace settings more than anywhere else.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 2-Aug-2003 12:27am  
The mere fact that you notice other people noticing...and dwell on that. Calling other people "jerks" (a 14yr old age appropriate term). How do YOU deal with people who are 'insensitive to your differences'?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 2-Aug-2003 12:33am  
I don't remember calling anyone a jerk. I notice people noticing only when they use snide remarks, roll their eyes, give ne dirty looks etc. How can a person NOT notice that? It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I notice. So do other people, when it happens to them. It's not 14-ish, it's a natural reaction. If you had co-workers doing that to you, you would notice. When people are insensitive, most of the time, I just plain don't do anything. I don't react to it. That would give them some satisfaction, wouldn't it?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 2-Aug-2003 12:37am  
That was Lahdee calling people jerks
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 2-Aug-2003 12:39am  
I think you might be getting some of the stuff Lahdee said mixed up with me. Lahdee was talking a lot about other people, how they percieve her etc. I never said anything about how people percieve me, or called anyone any names. I think you might have gotten confused somewhere. I haven't had problems with the way people percieved me since before college.
OfTheSoul
(reply to Richard47) posted 2-Aug-2003 12:44am  
That was a GREAT impression! (Love the 'nets!) Can you do Sonny too, I'm wondering?
Richard47
(reply to OfTheSoul) posted 2-Aug-2003 1:53am  

Sonny, I've been missing you tonight,
Sonny, something deep inside me has died.
I gave up the purest love
a man could give to a man.
Ev'rything I ever had
has slipped right through my hands

'cause he walks like you,
he talks like you,
he feels like you,
but he ain't you,
he smiles like you,
cries like you,
denies like you,
but he'll never be you.

Sonny, he don't move me anymore,
Sonny, I've never hurt this way before.
He's trying hard to replace you
but there's something he'll never know.
He can borrow all your style
but he'll never possess your (ofthesoul)

'cause he acts like you,
attacks like you,
he (Smokes) cracks like you,
but he ain't you,
he needs like you,
pleads like you,
feels like you,
but he'll never be you.

Sonny
Sonny
I'm down on my knees (small dick)
Sonny won't you come back, come back,
come back to me please.

Someday, we'll hide the pain away, and
Sonny, I know that ... that we can laugh again.
I should have known and had more sense
sinking to a childish pride.
All I got was your looking glass
without your heart in side

'cause he craves (crack) like you,
behaves like you,
and lays like you,
but he ain't you,
he plays like you,
prays like you,
does ev'rything like you,
but he ain't you.

He hides like you,
denies like you,
sighs like you,
but he ain't you.

Sonny,
Sonny,
Sonny won't you come back,
come back to me.

Sonny,
Sonny,
Sonny, oh
Oh
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 2-Aug-2003 1:56am  
Then, what do you have problems with?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 2-Aug-2003 2:09am  
Same thing most people have problems with. Difficult people. People getting all uncooperative when I have a reasonable expectation, that sort of thing. (I mean, what is so hard about keeping your kid from wandering into the neighbors house and making a nuisance of herself?)
I have a horrible thing against telling people things they should already know. If my hands are full, and someone walks straight up to me and tries to hand me something, I'd sooner toss everything from my hands and snatch it from them than say "my hands are full." Telling them may get results, but I get an annoying feeling from it, like I did them a disservice having to tell them. And when it doesn't get results, I think I never should have said anything to begin with. See?
I also don't do too well in employment settings where you are supposed to act all social and yacky with everyone. *shudder* I have absolutely no problem socializing with folks in other settings. Just not at work, with people I'm not interested in yacking with. I'm usually the 'quiet' one at work. Right now I'm not working, though.
In general, I don't think my problems are any bigger or different than anyone else's.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 2-Aug-2003 2:37am  
Ok, your hands are FULL. I am coming towards you with an arm full of boxes. I am not even looking at you, as you approach me.
I say, "Linda, take these boxes."
What do YOU do?
OfTheSoul
(reply to LindaH) posted 2-Aug-2003 6:36am  
No, Joalis! Don't react! (If you'll pardon my intrusion here.) It's a trick question! If he's "not even looking at you", how can he know "Linda" is approaching?

Just tip-toe by--softly--ignoring his belligerent "request". Your answer is simply to refrain from reply. If you're so inclined, you can even afford to goose him in passing..shhhhh. (Haha)
OfTheSoul
(reply to Richard47) posted 2-Aug-2003 6:40am  
The serenading is one thing, but the personalized touch in the lyrics...well--it has a tear trickle.
Richard47
(reply to OfTheSoul) posted 2-Aug-2003 7:49am  
Go ahead. Kept Joalis in a state of constant insanity. See if she'll love you, then!

You asked for "Sonny". I have no control over anything else.
Dunkan
(reply to Richard47) posted 2-Aug-2003 9:20am  
But, I'm sure you had a much different perspective back then smile
Richard47
(reply to Dunkan) posted 2-Aug-2003 9:28am  
I'm still a romantic
I am still a gorgeous hunk
I'm still rich
I'm still very successful
I like to party! I dance all night!!
Hmmmm...things are about the same Quintuple Gold Star
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 2-Aug-2003 11:26am  
OfTheSoul didn't need to tell me that. If you aren't looking at me, there's no way for you to know my hands are full. I wouldn't do anything. I wouldn't take the boxes. Depending on my mood, I might not even say "my hands are full." I might keep doing what I'm doing until I become available to take the boxes.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 3-Aug-2003 10:50am  
Lets do this again (without OfTheSoul).Ok, your hands are FULL. I am coming towards you with an arm full of boxes. I see you, and say, "Linda! Take these boxes".
What do YOU do?

*This pertains to (In case you have forgotten):

I have a horrible thing against telling people things they should already know. If my hands are full, and someone walks straight up to me and tries to hand me something, I'd sooner toss everything from my hands and snatch it from them than say "my hands are full." Telling them may get results, but I get an annoying feeling from it, like I did them a disservice having to tell them. And when it doesn't get results, I think I never should have said anything to begin with. See?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 3-Aug-2003 11:50am  
I keep doing what I am doing.
OfTheSoul
(reply to LindaH) posted 3-Aug-2003 12:30pm  
(whispering to you: how about you drop the load from your hands and give R a little smack across the face for me? Nothing major--he's carrying stuff and all. smile )
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 3-Aug-2003 1:03pm  
Ok, THIS man ( Say Mr. Burton) is your boss. He says, "Linda? I asked you to do something!"

What do You do?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 3-Aug-2003 1:12pm  
Drop the stuff and do it.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 3-Aug-2003 1:19pm  
Is that a joke?
Would you really do that?
I'm serious.
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 3-Aug-2003 1:22pm  
I might, depending on my mood. I might put all the stuff on a table and do what he asked, but if I were annoyed enough, I might drop it loudly if I could do so without breaking it.
Richard47
posted 3-Aug-2003 1:31pm  
So, your professional response would be conditional on the type of mood you were in? You are at work, Linda...where you put aside your personal agenda and "get the work done". Before you answer (because I'm late for a sky-diving lesson), think about it. This is work. You have a responsibility to be professional. It's adult.
What do YOU do?
OfTheSoul
(reply to Richard47) posted 3-Aug-2003 1:32pm  
Your microphone isn't turned on or something. Oh, wait--you didn't direct your comment to anyone specific--that's the problem (re your above comment, presumably to joalis).
Nosey sonofadog, ain't I?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 3-Aug-2003 1:47pm  
I think proffessionalism is over the top sometimes. Why the heck are you not supposed to let frustration show, in order to keep an 'appearence'? That's one of those social norms I have a problem with. It's OK for a boss to be totally oblivious to someone who is busy, but not OK for that person to show the boss how ridiculous he is being?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 3-Aug-2003 1:56pm  
Of course, I could tone down my box-dropping. I could kind of 'plop' them without making noise, and use subtle gestures to show the boss I found something amiss about his request, but then go on and do what he asked. It is kind of hard to 'show' people they are being unreasonable or wrong, without showing emotion. How would you propose I do it?
LoriJanine
(reply to Richard47) posted 3-Aug-2003 2:47pm  
It's not dwelling, it's analytical thinking. There's a difference. Dwelling is constantly thinking about what's happened, feeling sorry for yourself, moping, and letting it negatively effect your life. Analytical thinking is analyzing things, remembering things from your past to figure people out, use as examples to help other people, discuss (or make fun of)people's behaviors, etc. See the difference? grin

PS: as for calling people jerks--if it looks like a duck.....
OfTheSoul
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 3-Aug-2003 4:30pm  
...it probably tastes like chicken? (Haha)
LoriJanine
(reply to OfTheSoul) posted 3-Aug-2003 4:32pm  
grinlaughing out loud
ElvisFan67
posted 3-Aug-2003 9:43pm  
I don't really know, but I read in a magazine a long time ago that legendary country music star Bobby Bare had a dog named Dammit. Now isn't THAT interesting?
Richard47
(reply to OfTheSoul) posted 4-Aug-2003 9:55am  
Can I interest you in becoming my SC secretary? I pay well. smile
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 4-Aug-2003 10:03am  
That is why HE is the boss and YOU are the employee.
It is so interesting that, both, you and Ladhee will seem to do ANYTHING except confronting him and explaining your plight (Dropping the boxes, huffing and puffing, etc...). Face to face verbal communication, which adolescents often have difficult doing, baffles you. This may be the developmental portion of your Aspergers you need to work on most.
Richard47
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 4-Aug-2003 10:06am  
Analyzing denotes 'understanding" and moving on. You haven't been able to 'move on' concerning your childhood perceptions for twenty years now. I would call it...dwelling.
LoriJanine
(reply to Richard47) posted 4-Aug-2003 10:25am  
What childhood "perceptions" are you talking about? There's nothing about my childhood that I dwell on, not have an understanding about or regularly think on.
LoriJanine
(reply to Richard47) posted 4-Aug-2003 10:40am  
If you're referring to thinking on people's behaviors and treatment of other people, that is not things I do not have understanding of or "dwell on". Don't you study people's behaviors in your field? Isn't that an interest of yours? It happens to be an interest of mine, and I think, thinking on situations as examples is good for people--it helps them have a better understanding of other people AND know how to respond when other situations come up that are similar. I understand perfectly why people are the way they are (as in judgmental, rude, mean, expect too much of others, etc) Discussing it does not mean I dwell on those behaviors. People can perceive others however they want---but treating others mean based on what they think is wrong. Malicious gossip about other people (especially those you barely know) is wrong. That's not a 'childhood' perception. It should be an adult perception, unless the adult never grew up or matured. grin
Richard47
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 4-Aug-2003 12:01pm  
The difference is you study peoples behaviors pertaining to...you. I do not. You do not have the birds eye view because your are too busy relating to self-perceptions.
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 4-Aug-2003 12:16pm  
I have an aversion to telling people things they should already know. Confronting people is not the ONLY "acceptable" option. I don't need to work on it. I actually prefer to drop hints and let people figure things out themselves. It's easier, more efficient, and benefits them.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 4-Aug-2003 12:39pm  
Aversion, or an inability? "Droping hints" is fine if you are playing 'charades' or the board game 'Clue', but not in real life, Joalis. This is where you are stuck and encounter so much misunderstanding.
What is efficient about a guessing game? So, confrontation is the issue at hand, it seems. Is this is a skill you are interested in learning more about?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 4-Aug-2003 12:43pm  
NO. I don't want to be confrontational. I get more resistance asking (or telling) someone to do or not to do something, than I get if I make them feel like they should or shouldn't do it.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 4-Aug-2003 12:45pm  
Because you have not learned to do it correctly! Let's practice, OK?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 4-Aug-2003 12:51pm  
No, I'd rather not. I think it's silly and arbitrary that there's even such a thing as a 'correct' way to do it. It's yet another one of those inefficient, inconvinient social norms. I think it's absolutely moronic that there should only be 'one' way to make a point.

Does SC font look different all of the sudden?
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 4-Aug-2003 12:57pm  
(Font: yes)

Silly! This coming from someone who expects her boss to read her mind or pick up on her "dropping hints" all over the place. Won't you even try to learn appropriate confrontation skills in order to to allow you the luxury of using your 'words' instead of convoluted body language?
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 4-Aug-2003 12:58pm  
(Some outside force is playing with the font) Bill??????????????
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 4-Aug-2003 1:02pm  
I have used words. They sometimes work well, but if I use words and get results, sometimes I feel like I've failed the person learning on their own, and I'll just have to keep using the same words with them again. I don't expect people to 'read minds' I expect them to look at a situation and think at first, and if they miss that step, read my body language and see if you can guess by the situation we find ourselves in, and the look on my face WHY I am annoyed, frustrated, etc. It isn't that hard, but people must have been raised to be totally blind to it, or so used to hearing 'words' that they don't know how to assess situations mixed with body language.
LoriJanine
(reply to Richard47) posted 4-Aug-2003 3:20pm  
No, sorry---not only pertaining to me. I can use my examples because of the experience-but it doesn't mean I only study people's behaviors as it pertains to just me.
LoriJanine
(reply to Richard47) posted 4-Aug-2003 3:38pm  
Also--when I use myself as an example it's most accurate because I can know 100% facts. As it might pertain to someone else, I can only speculate, so they would be bad examples, since I wouldn't know for certain what was going on. The conclusions wouldn't be as accurate. You tend to remember your own personal experiences more than someone else's anyway, right?
OfTheSoul
(reply to Richard47) posted 5-Aug-2003 2:23am  
While I consider your job offer (and only if it pays little enough, if at all), you should know I don't do Windows (3.1--only ME and higher versions).
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 5-Aug-2003 10:18am  
That is an entirely ridiculous way to approach anything, Joalis.
Richard47
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 5-Aug-2003 10:23am  
Not in my profession. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Ladhee, I am your boss (carrying several books) and you are walking towards me (carrying a variety of items). I say to you:, "Lori, take these books from me."

What do You do?
Richard47
(reply to OfTheSoul) posted 5-Aug-2003 10:27am  
Will you wear those little lavender come-fudge-me open-toed pumps (you looks so good in)? I promise I won't chase you around the desk while you are holding your transcription pad, screaming, "No! Please!"
LoriJanine
(reply to Richard47) posted 5-Aug-2003 10:36am  
See, that's the difference. It's your profession to focus on other people's issues and remember them. It's very hard for me to remember other people's issues, especially details that I know nothing about. I am my own best example because I know myself more than Joe Smith down the street.

I would ask you what I should do with the things in my hands, whilst looking around for a place to put them. If you're my boss, telling me what to do, I stop what I am doing to do it. That's my job.
Richard47
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 5-Aug-2003 10:53am  
That's a good answer, though not The Best! Again, you are trying to appease him (which is good considering he is your boss) but, come up with a response that validates your current activity, sense of SELF while addressing his insensitivity.
LoriJanine
(reply to Richard47) posted 5-Aug-2003 11:04am  
When you have a job, what the boss tells you to do is more important than what you're in the middle of doing. That's what you get paid for. If I had an arm full of other stuff, I would ask what he wanted me to do with that stuff.
Richard47
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 5-Aug-2003 11:14am  
This is what you say (as an adult);
"I'm sorry, Mr. Burton. I'll get to it as soon as I complete this task. As you can see, my arms are, presently, full."
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 5-Aug-2003 1:35pm  
Why, because people are too stupid to figure these things out on their own? I WANT them to figure it out on their own, so they cease to be infuriatingly annoying.

How about this response "I'll get to it as soon as I grow more arms!"

Why should there be ONE way to respond to an oblivious person? Social expectations run amok.
LoriJanine
(reply to LindaH) posted 5-Aug-2003 1:47pm  
Here's an example of that for today. I totally organised the living room, including arranging the books on the bookshelves, got all the toys out of the corner that were piling up, vaccuumed, then cleaned the toddler table, cleaned the kitchen (except piled up dishes), took a shower and when I got out, asked James to give Becca a bath. He says "No, she asked for something to eat" as he sits on the couch watching tv. So I get up to get her something to eat. Oh he also commented on the dishes even though the rest of the kitchen and house is sparklie shiny and obvious I been workin my tush off this morning. When Becca's done eating, I cleaned her up, decided not to give her a bath, yet because I wanted to sort the toys in their room. Isn't James being oblivious, inconsiderate, etc by not lifting a freakin finger to help out while I'm workin my butt off cleaning and trying to sort clutter and toys? ticked me off. He still never got up to help. Cluelessness must be hereditary. I'll teach my kids better, so they pick up consideration traits from our side.
PS: all the toys Becca and Danny own are in one big pile in their room and no one is allowed in unless they are cleaning. I'm such a mean mom.
OfTheSoul
(reply to Richard47) posted 5-Aug-2003 1:51pm  
Not before I get your coffee for you. I hope you like it piping hot--enough to bubble-boil cold steel I mean.
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 5-Aug-2003 1:59pm  
YES that's it! consideration. Why should you have to ask someone nicely to do the right thing?
LoriJanine
(reply to LindaH) posted 5-Aug-2003 2:03pm  
Yesterday I was in the middle of brushing my teeth and thought 'oops I dont want Beck taking a nap if her pull up needs changin' leaned my head out the bathroom door, asked James to check/change her pull up before she took a nap and he said "No, you're just trying to mess with me"... No, I'm trying to brush my *%#$@ing teeth!
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 5-Aug-2003 2:09pm  
I think my aversion to telling people what they should already know might be partly due to the fact I don't think they deserve to be told. They need to do some work/thinking. Why should I do the work, and run myself the risk of their resistance?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 5-Aug-2003 2:41pm  
To be honest, I answered your question with what I would *feel* like doing. I have a tendency to do that. :|

Thinking on it, I would probably just take whatever he had, and put aside what I was doing.

You said to Lahdee:

That's a good answer, though not The Best! Again, you are trying to appease him (which is good considering he is your boss) but, come up with a response that validates your current activity, sense of SELF while addressing his insensitivity.

Who are you to say it's not the 'best'? Are you some kind of therapist or something? wink

I really don't think it matters one way or the other whether you decide to appease the boss, or decide to 'validate your current activity'? What if you find it easier to just do what he asked, rather than say something? Why make things harder on yourself?

LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 5-Aug-2003 3:00pm  
and look at our conversation in this survey http://surveycentral.org/survey/15500.html
Isn't it nice of me to try and teach people how to think, rather than telling them what they should already know? grin
Maarten
posted 6-Aug-2003 6:22am  
Whatever.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 6-Aug-2003 11:50am  
There is an adult 'correct' way to respond, Joalis. Not an immature 14 year old adolescent way. Stop expecting people to read your mind. If you work on your 'adult verbal communication skills', you will eventually stop being so terrified to speak to them.
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 6-Aug-2003 12:03pm  
You say AN adult 'correct' way as if there is only one. I refuse to believe there is ONE way to communicate. If people dont give me the courtesy of consideration or the benefit of the doubt, they don't deserve the courtesy of knowing the truth. It's not a lack of skills, it's a belief.
Richard47
(reply to OfTheSoul) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:03pm  
Don't forget, I like three shots of Bailey's Irish Cream in my coffee, every morning before 8:30am!!!
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:12pm  
Let me ask you something. Is there any 'appropriate' response where you don't use words, or at least don't tell the person "I'm busy right now" or whatever it is they don't know?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:25pm  
...and is all this supposed to benefit ME somehow, or the other person? I don't want to benefit the other person. They don't deserve it. My method works for ME and I am happy with it. That's all that counts.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:28pm  
Are you telling me that you never are "asked" to clarify any activity you are engaged in...ever? At all times, you know exactly what to do and what to say without any input of any kind from anyone? I seriously doubt that. It is more like: you do not want to communicate with adults for fear of rejection, being ridiculed or misunderstood...and all of it will get easier the more you START to communicate with people.
LoriJanine
(reply to LindaH) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:29pm  
*clapping* YAY!! That's how I am. If people are rude, snotty, inconsiderate, mean, etc. I can ignore it or deal with it MY OWN WAY. It shouldn't matter as long as I am comfortable & the way I react to how they act effects them none, or they learn something. grin If they think it's ok for themselves to act like a dolt, they shouldn't care how I respond. I usually ignore it, anyway.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:33pm  
I really don't think it matters one way or the other whether you decide to appease the boss, or decide to 'validate your current activity'? What if you find it easier to just do what he asked, rather than say something? Why make things harder on yourself?

*Because you don't want to leave yourself with the feeling of not being treated like a mature, responsible adult. An unfamiliar feeling for YOU. People need to get through the course of the day with a sense of respect for themselves (as well as from others) to add to an increased level of self-esteem.
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:40pm  
I've been asked to explain what I'm doing or why I'm doing something, but if their questions come off as presumptive, I won't give them a straight answer. I communicate in a round-about way until they figure the confusion out. laughing out loud I communicate with people sometimes. It's not like I go around messing with people all the time, when it comes to everything. I only do that to people who don't deserve a straight answer.

No fear of rejection, being ridiculed, or misunderstood at all. I just find it easier and less frustrating to DO something or ignore someone, than to SAY something, because people have a tendency to resist too much when it comes to situations like those.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:43pm  
and look at our conversation in this survey http://surveycentral.org/survey/15500.html
Isn't it nice of me to try and teach people how to think, rather than telling them what they should already know?

* The 'thinking" I was referring to had to do with creativity opposed to an alternative to face to face communication. There is a difference.

*Like many things...you refuse to admit to the possibility that you are deficient in terms of adult communication and over compensate by using THIS computer.
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:46pm  
What makes you think I am left with the feeling that I'm not being treated like an adult? They don't affect my self esteem. I could go on communicating in an adult manner until I'm 50 years old, and do you think no one will ever come along again who is not presumptive?

One day I was walking down the road and a dog was following me. The dog was walking too far into the road, though. Some guy slowed down and yelled out the window "Get your dog out of the road!" Do you think he would NOT have done that if I were an old lady? I yelled back "It's not my dog!" But in hindsight I think I would have got more satisfaction if I would have yelled "My dog isn't in the road!" The second response would have been more appropriate.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:47pm  
Anti-social communication style..breeds distance. You WILL not learn the correct way to communicate for fear of failure.
LoriJanine
(reply to Richard47) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:48pm  
Who cares if some people are distant? If they are inconsiderate jerky dolts, I certainly don't mind. wink
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:49pm  
The more I try to explain the correct way to communicate with people...the further away you stray from it.
Richard47
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:50pm  
The more I try to explain the correct way to communicate with people...the further away you stray from it.
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:51pm  
I use this computer because it's fun. I like Survey central. Do you think my conversations with you seem mature and articulate? No name-calling or bashing of any sort. That's how I communicate in real life. I find it a piece of cake to communicate with most people. In the parent waiting area of my daughter's dance class, for example, I'm always engaged in conversations about all sorts of things. GPS, property buying, house decorating, etc. It's only when someone comes along acting presumptive and disapproving that I refuse to communicate with them, because they are simply **not worth the trouble**
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:54pm  
There isn't ONE correct way to respond to situations. I even teach my daughter that. If you have a problem with other people, ignoring them and walking away from them is a perfectly acceptable option. That goes for kids as well as adults.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:56pm  
Why would they come to 'you' being presumptive and disapproving? Why 'you'?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 6-Aug-2003 12:58pm  
They don't come to 'me' the same people would be that way with almost anyone. I don't see myself as a target, if that's what you think.
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 6-Aug-2003 1:00pm  
There isn't ONE correct way to respond to situations. I even teach my daughter that. If you have a problem with other people, ignoring them and walking away from them is a perfectly acceptable option. That goes for kids as well as adults.

* Now you are taking my innocent past "boss/task" activity and turning it into "having a problem with people and ignoring them", which has NOTHING to do with appropriate communication amongst adults!
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 6-Aug-2003 1:19pm  
I wasn't thinking of the boss/task think when I typed that.

Back to the boss/task thing, though. Here are some good responses. Tell me what you think:

1) Nicely, delecately, gently setting down the stuff I was doing, and taking what he wanted me to do, doing it as fast as I can, then getting back to what I was doing.

2)Asking which task he wants done first. The one I'm in the middle of, or the one he has there?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 6-Aug-2003 1:25pm  
OH! I forgot 3) Ill get to it when I grow more arms
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 6-Aug-2003 1:27pm  
I think the boss situation is different than situations you encounter that have nothing to do with authority, and you have nothing at stake. You act a little different when you want to keep your job.
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to anonymous) posted 7-Aug-2003 12:02am  
I have absolutely no idea why you think it should even affect you, what other people want to talk about. We aren't talking to you, and no-one is forcing you to read it. So, it's really none of your business then, is it?

Live and let live: a concept more people should use.

Richard47
(reply to anonymous) posted 7-Aug-2003 11:20am  
laughing out loud
Richard47
(reply to LindaH) posted 7-Aug-2003 11:28am  
I'm a going to stick with my initial response to the boss because of what I previously said. You see, you can teach people how to treat you...with the use of words, not by 'dropping hints'. By letting him know you will complete his task, as soon as you finish the 'present' one you are working on...and by mentioning to him your arms are presently unavailable...you give him the opportunity to see you are proficient in prioritizing, decision making and cannot be "stepped all over". But you have to do this with 'words'.
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Richard47) posted 7-Aug-2003 1:18pm  
The only person with half a legitimate complaint about us filling up the survey with off-topic discussion would be duncan. In that case we should just move to the gay school survey. I think an off-topic would be better accepted there.

Maybe when that guy yelled out the window to get my dog out of the road, I should have yelled "COME, STAINS!"
LoriJanine
(reply to LindaH) posted 7-Aug-2003 1:26pm  
What did you do when that guy thought it was your dog?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 7-Aug-2003 1:44pm  
I just said "It's not my dog"
Then later I thought maybe I should have said "My dog isn't in the road."
But now I think I should have said "COME, STAINS!" laughing out loud
LoriJanine
(reply to LindaH) posted 7-Aug-2003 1:47pm  
What did he say when you said it's not your dog? Did he think you were lying?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 7-Aug-2003 1:48pm  
No, he didnt. grin
LoriJanine
(reply to LindaH) posted 7-Aug-2003 1:52pm  
Did he wipe his sanctimonious look off his face or anything? Did he apologise for being a dork?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 7-Aug-2003 1:57pm  
no, he just drove off.
LoriJanine
(reply to LindaH) posted 7-Aug-2003 2:07pm  
Did he say "Oh" or what?
LindaH Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 7-Aug-2003 2:28pm  
i cant remember
maverick7587
posted 11-Aug-2003 9:50pm  
I dunno
ROCKMAN
posted 13-Aug-2003 9:55am  
Yes!
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 19-Aug-2003 2:03pm  
It could be. It's a crap name though...
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