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multiple28-Jul-2015sex/relationshipsGomezy3k by votes27150.0%

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Socially women have it way better than men

A good example is a man and a woman go into a bar or nightclub or party or pretty much any place, it really doesn't matter.

Unless she is Quasimodo's sister, the woman can have pretty much any guy she chooses and she never has to go home alone if she doesn't want to. Back when I was stationed at a remote duty site, there were some women stationed there who were definitely looks challenged and they still got any guy they wanted.

The guy has to try and play the games, get noticed and chances are he is going home alone at the end of the night anyway.

The whole social scene is all in the females favor.

VotesAnswer
7No
5Yes
3Do not know
3Other


UserComment
dab
posted 28-Jul-2015 9:37pm  
Your example, for all that it's a little bit true, leaves out an awful lot.
bill Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 28-Jul-2015 10:36pm  
This is a little long and a little dry perhaps, but it covers "sexual economics" as a way to explain some of this stuff. e.g "women own sex" and men have to barter for it, etc. It's fairly crude and likely doesn't apply directly to most people, but may explain certain trends we see.




I don't think that women have it better than men, maybe it seems that way if we project a man's point of view onto a woman. I assume it often sucks to be the target of male sexual desires.

I've never really hung out in nightclubs. And, I'm intimidated by good looking people more than attracted to them. I'd probably end up talking to Quasimodo's sister, and find out she's really interesting. Then, we'd go play video games or something.
Lysannus
posted 29-Jul-2015 5:50am  
I don't believe so although I never went for the bar/nightclub hopping. Was to a couple and had no desire for any of the people in there, big turnoff for me.
I think it has more to do with your presentation and what you are looking for. Most at a bar are not looking for a long commitment, hence why there are more guys there.
Not always but mostly women want stability and commitment; and people met at bars/nightclubs/parties don't normally provide that sort of thing.
LJD
posted 29-Jul-2015 12:38pm  
It is the way male and female were designed. It's the sexual drive of a man to pursue the female. Of course, the female has the sexual drive, but she's designed to control and protect.

Many years ago, I'd gone to the "bar" scene maybe three times in my life, and you'd think I was a chunk of raw meat, the men hit on me like starved lions. The only reason I went to the establishments were because of a friend.
Zang
posted 29-Jul-2015 1:57pm  
You appear to have the concepts of "social" interactions and "acting like a great big slut" confused.

Let's call it what it is. If people really want to be promiscuous, they will get laid. There is something to what you describe, but I think you've misread it. Slutty men will basically fudge anything that moves (or doesn't as the case may be). Slutty women tend to retain certain standards. No matter how horny they are, they aren't going to spread their legs for some fat drooling ogre with boils all over his face (unless he's a certified billionaire).
they Survey Central Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 29-Jul-2015 3:02pm  
I think you are wrong.

You sound like you're bitter. It makes me uncomfortable, and I suspect maybe the reason you don't go home with random women from bars is that you are a creepy misogynist. Just a guess though.

Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
posted 29-Jul-2015 3:11pm  
You have different definitions of "better" and "favor" than I do. Yes, it's easier for women to get laid than it is for men, probably because in any given time and place, there are more men who want to have sex than there are women. That's supply and demand. But the vast majority of sexual assaults occur against women. And women still only make 78 cents for every dollar men make. And those are just two things that are not stacked in women's favor.
jen Survey Central Gold Subscriber
posted 30-Jul-2015 9:06am  
three blind men are examining an elephant....
LJD
posted 30-Jul-2015 12:21pm  
I think both men and women need love of the heart, but show it in different ways.
JessicaWoman99
posted 30-Jul-2015 5:16pm  
Yes indeed as women we do have it made pretty much and can have any man we want unless of course he is married then forget it only single men for me a Christian man
JessicaWoman99
posted 30-Jul-2015 5:24pm  
But then you are wrong about women going to bars and getting any man she wants unless she is a prostitute who wants to have sex most women in their right mind do not go bar hopping to find men for there are other places to find the right man such as a Church if you are a Christian
jettles Survey Central Subscriber
posted 30-Jul-2015 9:37pm  
No, not in any way does a woman have it "socially" better than a man.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 31-Jul-2015 7:25pm  
Only if you consider that a woman's social value lies in her ability to please men.
dab
(reply to Biggles) posted 1-Aug-2015 1:51am  
That would be true only if a woman couldn't have sex for her own enjoyment but only for the purpose of pleasing men.
jettles Survey Central Subscriber
posted 1-Aug-2015 1:16pm  
Ok, this is just my opinion but this survey is misogynistic in how it is written at it's core...... I attempted and asked it to be written differently but it was cleared as is.
southernyankee
posted 2-Aug-2015 1:39pm  
No, I think life sucks for everyone about equally, just in different ways. I think the main reason why its harder for a single guy to hook up in a bar is because women get called sluts for having "too many" sex partners, so they tend to be much choosier to not deplete their "quota".
Gomezy3k
(reply to dab) posted 9-Aug-2015 7:19pm  
And that proves my point.. A woman can (and should) be able to have sex for her own pleasure, but she is the one who decides which guy to have it with. The male really has no say in the matter.
Gomezy3k
(reply to bill) posted 9-Aug-2015 7:25pm  
She pretty much nails it... And I just used the bar as an example, it can be any social situation where males and females are together. The woman decides who she will have sex with/date/marry/ talk to/etc.,
Gomezy3k
(reply to dab) posted 9-Aug-2015 7:27pm  
True I was a bit brief, I didn't want to go into a huge long winded description. I just used the bar as an example, it can be any social situation where males and females are together. The woman decides who she will have sex with/date/marry/ talk to/be friends with/etc., The woman has all the power in choosing what she wants.
Gomezy3k
(reply to Zang) posted 9-Aug-2015 7:29pm  
I just used the bar as an example, it can be any social situation where males and females are together. The woman decides who she will have sex with/date/marry/ talk to/be friends with/etc., The woman has all the power in choosing what she wants. The man has none. He can be the nicest guy in the world or the biggest jerk in the world, it really doesn't matter.
bill Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Gomezy3k) posted 10-Aug-2015 6:02am  
It's all economics!
dab
(reply to Gomezy3k, Gomezy3k) posted 11-Aug-2015 12:25am  
You say that the woman is the one who gets to make the choice while the man has no say in the matter. In fact, it's whoever who says 'no' who has a say. Men can say 'no' and then they have a say in the matter. In our culture today, men are taught they're supposed to always be looking for sex while women are taught they're supposed to say 'no'. Thus it looks like women have the only say because they're the ones always saying 'no'. It's not really true but it sure sucks for nice men who want to have sex and are surrounded by women who follow the cultural rules. That's why I said you're a little bit true.

It wasn't so much that you were brief but that you left out everything else. That is, while women have all the power in our culture so long as the men don't stoop to coercion, the fact is that men *do* stoop to coercion too damned often. Women have to worry about rape a whole lot more than men do. Of course that's only the more extreme downside for women; there are plenty of more subtle problems too. A woman who actually wants sex and dares say 'yes' gets labeled a slut. Boys are kinda jerks about it and I hear that women are even worse. Women are the ones who get pregnant and have to deal with that while the men are given a pass. At the same time, for all that abortion is mostly still legal in the US, there's a substantial effort out there to make it difficult to access (if not legally, then emotionally and culturally). That's not being brief, it's missing most of the issue. You can't leave out all the rest of it and be making a valid argument.
FordGuy
posted 11-Aug-2015 7:17am  
I think you just need to work on your confidence.
Zang
(reply to Gomezy3k) posted 12-Aug-2015 12:51pm  
The scenario you described wasn't specifically a bar, that was just one example. I didn't mention any particular location in my response.

The dynamics you are describing remain the same. Hooking up with strangers in a public place and then immediately going off and getting intimate is promiscuous behaviour, no matter how you slice it or what kind of spin you put on it.

In polite society, people are introduced by their friends, small social groups get larger, large social groups become more interconnected. These social groups may attend bars, nightclubs and parties. The may also attend gallery openings, concerts, theatrical events and intimate dinner parties. The gender dynamics you describe aren't nearly as apparent. The social interactions are more complex and far less base and animalistic.

So do you want to talk about social interaction or do you want to talk about getting laid?
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