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single7-Jul-2007ethics/moralitywas_Frostbrand by votes54759.2%


Is it inappropriate for a high school teacher to date a former student who just graduated?


posted 8-Jul-2007 1:27pm  
Yes, that happened at my school, like 18 years ago..(apparently..) and it grosses me out...
posted 8-Jul-2007 1:31pm  
No. There would be no conflict of interest or power/coercion issues at that point.
posted 8-Jul-2007 3:06pm  
Good question....
bill Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 8-Jul-2007 3:15pm  
posted 8-Jul-2007 3:26pm  
I think it depends on their age. In general, I don't think this would be appropriate. However, I had some teachers who were aged 21-25, and I don't see anything wrong with someone of that age dating a high school graduate.
posted 8-Jul-2007 3:43pm  
Graduated what? High school or college? It's alright if the former student graduated college. If the teacher is 8 years older or less, I don't see a problem at all. I've heard when dating someone younger than yourself, never younger than half your age plus seven. That means I, in my late 20s, can date someone just out of college.

I don't think it's creepy unless one is just too old. But I'm not as concerned about social norms as most people.
posted 8-Jul-2007 6:15pm  
It depends on several factors:
1)The age of the student. For example, I was 17 when I graduated. Is the student an adult? If they are, no problem, otherwise, absolutely not.
2)The marital status of the teacher. Is he/she married? If so, then absolutely not.
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
posted 8-Jul-2007 6:21pm  
It's a little skeevy, but I don't think it's especially terrible.
posted 8-Jul-2007 6:23pm  
How soon after graduation? Is the teacher taking the former student to the graduation party? Or is it a few weeks or even months later? I would think that the teacher would have the brains and good graces to keep the relationship secret for a few months. If it's too early, then they'll have every other teacher crawling up their crack to try and accuse them of having this relationship while the kid was still in school. For me, it would also depend on the teacher's age... not because I disapprove of May-December relationships, because I don't care, but if an older teacher started dating an 18 or 19-year-old student soon after graduation, it would smack of authoritative manipulation, or the kid is/was being taken advantage of.
My answer is no, it's not inappropriate... after graduation, if the kid is 18 or older, they are now a legal adult and can screw anyone they want to.
posted 8-Jul-2007 6:27pm  
As long as the former student is of legal age, I don't see anything wrong with it.
posted 8-Jul-2007 7:12pm  
No. If they get along and like each other, let them do whatever they want.
posted 8-Jul-2007 7:20pm  
I don't think so -- it depends on the two people involved and the maturity of the younger person. Maybe the student is very mature for her/his age.
posted 8-Jul-2007 10:43pm  
You know, this is a tough one for me. Mostly I think it would be wrong but maybe not. It would depend on a few different things for me to actually "judge" a person about it.
posted 9-Jul-2007 1:28am  
Yes. They should wait at least one year.
posted 9-Jul-2007 11:57am  
It's hard to imagine a situation where a teacher would just happen to develop a relationship with a student after graduation. More likely, something was going on beforehand and they only starting 'dating' after graduation.

In the US, since the drinking age is 21, it's not like they'd just randomly meet each other in a bar. ("Mr. Wilson?? I didn't expect to see you in here?", "Please... call me Bob... you have graduated after all. Now come sit on my knee and I'll buy you a drink. After that we can go back to my place and I'll mark you out of 10".. etc)
posted 10-Jul-2007 7:45am long as the kid is 18.
posted 10-Jul-2007 9:37am  
I wouldn't think so.
jettles Survey Central Subscriber
posted 10-Jul-2007 11:02am  
i guess it depends, if the teacher is a new graduate as well and is 23 or 24 and the HS student is 18 and just graduated, i might not have a problem. pretty much anything else i think wouldn't be a good thing.
posted 13-Jul-2007 11:46am  
Yeah, I think so. The teacher should be smart enough to recognise that it will look like she's sexually interested in her students. It's all about appearances, really. Even if it is legal and meets the letter of the rules of her employment contract or the school's policy guidelines, a savvy teacher would know better. It's just not cricket.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 14-Jul-2007 6:53pm  
Probably - it would certainly make me question their suitability for the job.
posted 19-Jul-2007 3:27pm  
Naw, because the teacher-student relationship has reached and end of an era. Now they can do what the hell they want & prolly wanted to do back then & nobody will care.
posted 19-Jul-2007 8:40pm  
No not nessacarily, I guess if the student just graduated and the teacher was in their first year of teaching after college then I guess so.
posted 5-Oct-2007 8:06pm  
I guess all is fair in love, but the situation would make me really uncomfortable.
posted 13-Aug-2009 7:25am  
I don't think so. I am attracted to one of my former high school teachers. And he's pretty cool. We hang out and stuff but I haven't told him. I think that I am just going through a crush phase. Most likely that's it. But I live by love and say that love knows no bounds and have at it.
posted 15-Nov-2009 8:38pm  
I am 19, my junior year I had a male english teacher and we felt an attraction. I moved away to avoid any conflicts and we just got back in touch and have been building our relationship. He is 16 years older than me. Its all about maturity and how well you can make it work.
posted 2-Feb-2012 12:54pm  
I think that if you graduated and waited atleast a year before making it official it's ok. Love is love and you cant control who you have feelings for. But also keep in mind the age difference and people finding out or speculating something, losing his/her license etc. If your both sure about it go for it! Good Luck.
posted 8-Mar-2012 2:59pm  
If they had just graduated, it would be really creepy and wildly inappropriate. However, my first year as a teacher and fresh out of graduate school, I have a student in my class who graduates at the end of the year and goes off to his life. Five years later, he's 22 and I'm 29 I run into him by chance at a shop in the mall. He introduces himself, we chat for a bit, one thing leads to another, and ten years later we're married and have three children. I challenge anyone to show that as inappropriate or immoral.

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