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multiple5-Feb-2008familyCarlHalling by votes43467.1%

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How do you feel about this highly sociable friend/relative?

You have a friend or relative you adore dearly. They don't work so get bored and are exceptionally sociable and love to drop in to see you at any given hour. It could be morning, afternoon, evening, even 9. 30 at night, when you are tired and getting ready to settle down for a snack, nap, or bath. They'll rap on your window and waltz in for a chat. You could be eating; they'll stay and chat as you munch; sleeping; they'll chat as you rouse from a deep sleep. They never stay long though; just popped in to say hello, or deliver some piece of news. How would you feel about this, and what would you do?

VotesAnswer
7I'm a private person; and people know not to spring surprise visits on me
6I'm fine with it; but I'd rather they called first
5I'm a private person, but too soft to speak up to this much loved friend/relative
5I'm a private person, and only see people when it suits me
5I'm a private person, and a recluse to boot
2I'm fine with it; and I'd make sure they know to call first
1I'm fine with it. I'm a sociable person myself
1I'm a private person, and am desperate to preserve my privacy


UserComment
romkey Survey Central Gold Subscriber
posted 6-Feb-2008 8:54am  
We'd stop being friends after the third time.
CarlHalling
(reply to romkey) posted 6-Feb-2008 9:16am  
I can understand that!
judgescratch
posted 6-Feb-2008 9:37am  
I'm a private person, and only see people when it suits me
CarlHalling
(reply to judgescratch) posted 6-Feb-2008 9:39am  
Human beings need privacy, or they go under.
bill Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 6-Feb-2008 10:10am  
I'd be a bit grumpy, but it would probably be good for me and I might get used to it... I think I'm better off in situations that don't allow me to isolate myself (my tendency). When I used to live with roommates, I think I was better because I ended up interacting with people regularly, face to face, despite my general aversion to it. I'm not great at socializing in more-formal settings. So, if I'm forced into a regular social situation, it becomes informal and I relax more and will eventually enjoy it, and I think the socializing is good for me too.
Liss
posted 6-Feb-2008 10:34am  
I'm a private person; and people know not to spring surprise visits on me.
moviesnob
posted 6-Feb-2008 11:18am  
They should call first if it's that often. Especially if I'm sleeping.
Galomorro
posted 6-Feb-2008 11:57am  
I'm a private person, and a recluse to boot.
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
posted 6-Feb-2008 12:04pm  
None of these options really fits my feelings on this. I've had this kind of thing happen to me before; I liked it at first but it got pretty annoying after a while. I don't think I'm an especially private person, although I do like to have a lot of time to myself. But I love it when friends drop by unannounced, as long as it doesn't happen too often, and as long as it's not at a time that's completely inconvenient for me or when I'm stressed and have a lot to do. When it starts happening a lot, it can be very disruptive. When I was a student and studying or writing at home, friends or visiting family often seemed to have the attitude that I was free during the day when they were free, and their visits often meant that it was difficult for me to get work done.
LJD
posted 6-Feb-2008 1:39pm  
I feel if you plan on visiting someone, you must ask beforehand if they are available, call beforehand. It's only being courteous. Perhaps it would be good to be upfront with the person, ask them to please call beforehand.
Amanda
posted 6-Feb-2008 3:07pm  
I guess I'm a bit of a private person. I don't mind visitors, but prefer they call before coming over. If someone dropped by a time or two, I wouldn't say anything. If they made a habit of it, I'd ask them to knock it off. But....if I were doing something, I probably wouldn't answer the door to begin with.
smurf
posted 6-Feb-2008 4:19pm  
check None of these options. I'm not fine with this, but I'm not a "private person" either. I would talk with them about it, as it seems they need a few boundaries. Maybe ringing first, or only popping in within certain timeframes.
Crayons
posted 6-Feb-2008 4:20pm  
I'm deeply unsociable and sometimes I get somewhat lonely, so i'd expect unexpected visits to please me once in a while. I think it depends on the frquency. I don't think I'd have the heart to tell them to stop, but I might act a little irritated.
JessicaWoman99
posted 6-Feb-2008 4:23pm  
I would be fine and ok with this just drop on by and say hi ! we can chat and gossip
JessicaWoman99
(reply to Crayons) posted 6-Feb-2008 4:25pm  
> I'm deeply unsociable and sometimes I get somewhat lonely, so i'd
> expect unexpected visits to please me once in a while. I think it
> depends on the frquency. I don't think I'd have the heart to tell
> them to stop, but I might act a little irritated.

Oh by the way Crayons I am coming over to chat ok ?
Crayons
(reply to JessicaWoman99) posted 6-Feb-2008 4:37pm  
Yes, and we can dance to some Ricky Martin and party like it's 1999.
JessicaWoman99
(reply to Crayons) posted 6-Feb-2008 5:10pm  
> Yes, and we can dance to some Ricky Martin and party like it's 1999.

Alright see you in a few minutes if the Emergency Workers get me dug out of here that is
kcthedog
posted 7-Feb-2008 1:26am  
If "she" is cute and friendly, lovable, and cuddly, give me two!

smiley:::grin
justjulie
posted 7-Feb-2008 6:33am  
i've been through this....not a big deal as i don't mind. it's the other people i co-exist w/ that have issues
cerealkiller
posted 7-Feb-2008 7:45pm  
We wouldn't like it. It is known by family and anyone else that no one is welcome to just drop in at our house. Or even if they call first for that matter. We both find it alarming if the doorbell rings and we don't answer it without peeking out the window first.

Main reason for this is that the cats get upset when strangers or even other family members intrude into their space. They all run for cover, start fighting with each other, etc.

It doesn't cause any problems. Family generally never comes here anyhow even though one of our kids and his family live 2 minutes away. He only drops in occasionally to bum cigarettes or a beer. We go to their house Friday nights for pizza and movies. That's more than enough for us.
they Survey Central Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 8-Feb-2008 9:04am  
I would probably not answer the door a good part of the time.

I usually don't care for visitors without warning.
they Survey Central Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Enheduanna) posted 8-Feb-2008 9:12am  
> can be very disruptive. When
> I was a student and studying
> or writing at home, friends
> or visiting family often seemed
> to have the attitude that
> I was free during the day
> when they were free, and their
> visits often meant that it
> was difficult for me to get
> work done.

I know this well. People think since I work at home, I'm available... but really, trying to call or stop by when I'm working at home is the equivalent of stopping by my desk at work. If it's not a scheduled break time, I can't help you. I'm strapped to the phone.

I have this old friend who I talk about a lot here.... Angie. We grew up on the same street.... have known each other forever. She's sort of ghetto(for lack of a better word) with some of her actions... One time I was sitting here in my office working - with the window open.. and I heard someone screaming my name. I look out the window and she's sitting in her car, in my driveway, screaming my name. I guess somehow she thought this would be a better way to interrupt my work than honking.... She knows I don't want people to knock because it sets the dogs to barking and barking dogs are hard to explain when people think they are calling a call center. But here's the rule: Don't honk, don't knock, don't scream my name.... it doesn't matter which one you do... I'm still working.... go away. smiley:::smile
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
(reply to they) posted 8-Feb-2008 11:29am  
I don't know why she would think it was ok to scream your name from the driveway even if you weren't working!

One of the frustrating things for me also was that I wasn't technically tied to anything--the nature of the work meant that I could take breaks and time off when I wanted to, which made it too easy to just goof off and do other things. My visitors would end up enabling my bad habits and procrastination, and I'd end up feeling anxious and guilty for not getting as much work done as I could. I think having the excuse that you absolutely have to work or you'll get fired would come in handy. I'm only now learning to be firm about when I have time to chat when I'm working at home.
cloudhugger
posted 8-Feb-2008 5:50pm  
I'm fine with it; but I'd rather they called first
I wouldn't want someone to not stop and see me because they think I might be busy. I'm always busy. I am also vey lonely sometimes. I may sometimes be irritated when someone comes unnanounced and I have to stop what I am doing to entertain, but that is pretty rare that occurs. Unless it's my Mary that invites them over and doesn't seem to make it home on time. That has happened and I did make a fuss about it. I prefer a call first, but if not, it's OK. I don't know, I am kinda weird about this.
If someone does this repeatedly, I would put them to work. Give them odd jobs. I guarentee that will make them stop stopping in unnanounced.
cloudhugger
(reply to Enheduanna) posted 8-Feb-2008 5:56pm  
I knoew I should have said what Enheduanna said...du-oh!
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
(reply to cloudhugger) posted 8-Feb-2008 6:42pm  
It's good for you to express your own thoughts, though, so people don't start thinking we're the same person!
lily333
posted 8-Feb-2008 10:00pm  
I would prefer they call first but I would be polite.
RGirl
posted 9-Feb-2008 3:27am  
I'm a private person but wouldn't speak up, especially since they never stay long. I wouldn't have to worry because the person I live with would speak up, no problem, so I'd depend or even ask them to do it.
cloudhugger
(reply to Enheduanna) posted 9-Feb-2008 3:49am  
smiley:::wry smile

Have I been stopping in too many times bothering you? Have I been hyper-social?
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 9-Feb-2008 10:12am  
It depends on how often it happened - if it was every day or multiple times a day, it might be a bit much.
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
(reply to cloudhugger) posted 9-Feb-2008 11:12am  
Not at all! You'll know when you start bothering me because I'll pretend I'm not home when you drop by!
MacGregor
posted 9-Feb-2008 12:35pm  
This would drive me up a wall. I would lock my door for a start! Then...if I didn't feel like a visitor - meet them at the door and explain that it's a bad time and offer another time. Have a backbone!
cloudhugger
(reply to Enheduanna) posted 9-Feb-2008 11:56pm  
My mom used to make us do that when we were little. smiley:::wry smile It was my friend... *snif* I don't have the luxary of being over inundated with guests, I don't know if I like it or not. And if I were to be a busy body with nothing else better to do than to drop in and visit, I'd start with you. smiley:::smile love laughing out loud
Gomezy3k
posted 10-Feb-2008 10:19am  
I am a private person and a recluse but have a couple of friends who are disabled and they are continually calling me wanting rides or some other bother. I usually either do not answer my phone and ignore them, but every now and then will answer to see what they want. They tend to only call me when they want to go somewhere or want something. Very irritating, but I figure I can use all the good Karma I can get...
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
(reply to cloudhugger) posted 10-Feb-2008 4:21pm  
I don't have guests just dropping by anymore, either. And for the most part I do like it when people occasionally drop in, so I'd be happy if you dropped by! And if I got sick of you, I'd just tell you it was time to go drop in on the next person! You could make the rounds of all the SC people.
cloudhugger
(reply to Enheduanna) posted 10-Feb-2008 10:39pm  
Till everyone got sick of me. Tha's ai'ght. I'll go home now.
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
(reply to cloudhugger) posted 10-Feb-2008 10:48pm  
Just wait a couple of months and then you can start all over again!
cloudhugger
(reply to Enheduanna) posted 10-Feb-2008 11:01pm  
That might work.
Zang
posted 1-Mar-2008 6:21pm  
I wouldn't call myself a "private person" as such, but I'm also not anyone's doormat. I only answer the door when I feel like having company and for people like this, that usually means they're left standing on the outside of the door.
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