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multiple5-Jan-2009ethics/moralitycloudhugger Survey Central Gold Subscriber by votes38454.3%

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Have you ever been "shunned"?

From Wikipedia:
Shunning is the act of deliberately avoiding association with, and habitually keeping away from an individual or group. It is a sanction against association often associated with religious groups and other tightly-knit organizations and communities. Targets of shunning can include, but are not limited to apostates, whistleblowers, dissidents, people classified as "sinners" or "traitors" and other people who defy or who fail to comply with the standards established by the shunning group(s). Shunning has a long history as a means of organizational influence and control. Extreme forms of shunning and related practices have rendered the general practice controversial in some circles.

I would have cut and pasted more, but the link
provides a broader explanation.


VotesAnswer
10No, this has never happened.
5Yes, at an organization not affiliated with religious beliefs.
4No, but I'm not for sure this has or hasn't happened.
4Not to shun the Other.
3Yes, at an event where a religous or spiritual person was in charge or the guest of honor (for instance a birthday party)
2Yes, I think so, but I'm not sure.
2It hasn't happened to me, but someone I know and it was (spiritual/an organization of other sorts).
1Yes, at a religious or spiritual gathering.
0I have been part of a group that shunned someone.


UserComment
FauxLo Survey Central Gold Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 6-Jan-2009 2:27pm  
I have been shunned. When I was about fourteen years old, the youth group from another church dubbed me a "fudge packer" and shunned me during our ski trip. Christians.
Matty
posted 6-Jan-2009 2:34pm  
not to me or anyone I know.
cerealkiller Bronze Star Survey Creator Survey Qualifier
posted 6-Jan-2009 5:02pm  
We are generally shunned by the neighbors wherever we live. Once they associate with my wife a few times we never hear from them again, ignore us and won't even wave outside or anything else.
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
posted 6-Jan-2009 9:36pm  
No.
LJD Gold Qualifier
posted 7-Jan-2009 3:47am  
No. But, I can understand the reason behind shunning.
Liss
posted 7-Jan-2009 3:56am  
Just by one person.
bill Survey Central Gold Subscriber Silver Star Survey Creator
posted 7-Jan-2009 5:40am  
Not that I'm aware of though maybe I'm forgetting something in the past or I just didn't realize there was a reason all my friends abandoned me and that it wasn't just me or just the way it happened, but something intentionaly and cruel, though it's was probably my fault either way, lets face it.

This reminds me of something I read about the Amish that was disturbing. I guess they handle things like rape and incest by shunning... and, well, it's really pretty lame and often doesn't even stop the horrible crime from happening. The shuns only last a month or two... So, while I think shunning is an interesting punishment. I also think it's too weak to be used for any serious crime, especially rape or incest.
cloudhugger Survey Central Gold Subscriber
posted 8-Jan-2009 8:58am  
My friends mom's birthday party, held at the mom's church. There was a room off the church for such functions. I have known that woman for over 15 years, my frind would always tell me her mom asked how I was doing. I did favors for the woman, we always had pleasent and fun conversations, I was there for her when I could. My friend invites me and Mary to the surprise party, and I was especially excited to go and was beaming when the woman walks into the room with a clown nose on (because she is agoofy funny woman) and the room fills with a passsionate cry of "surprise!" She was making the rounds talking to everyone and I was excited when she came near us, my friend standing there. She didn't look at me, nor Mary, and talked to everyone that was within 3 foot before moving on. I asked my firend if she remembered me, and she asked her. Right there. the mom replyed yes, I remember but still didn't look at us. I was making excuses for her saying she is most likely overwhelmed. So a bit later on at the lunch, I walked up to her to give her a big hug and she turned her back on me. It finally occured to me that we were being shunned. It was her church group and a couple of lesbians were not exactly church material. so she shunned us. It didn't teach me a lesson, it made me sad for the dog. Everyone else talked to us because maybe the shame she had to endure having us there was too much to bear so she didn'tmake a public announcement or anything, I guess the rest of the church was supposed to pick up on that, I don't know. I think my friend was mortified but it has never been talked about. I shun the mother, what a dog.
Pomeranian
posted 9-Jan-2009 12:07am  
I wish it happened more often.
Joanne
posted 10-Jan-2009 1:13am  
Never. Nor would I. Hateful idea.
cloudhugger Survey Central Gold Subscriber
(reply to LJD) posted 11-Jan-2009 8:37am  
Please explain it to me. What does it solve?
LoriJanine
posted 11-Jan-2009 8:57am  
I am a Christian and I believe shunning is stupid and mean. You're supposed to sincerely and genuinely love people in spite of ANYTHING they have done. Shunning is hateful.
It sort of makes me think of snobby cliques really, even though the question isn't about snobby cliques.
Joanne
(reply to FauxLo) posted 11-Jan-2009 5:51pm  
Fudge packer?
FauxLo Survey Central Gold Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Joanne) posted 12-Jan-2009 12:45pm  
Yeah, that was my reaction as well. It took me a long time to learn what it meant. If you think of poop as fudge I'm sure you can figure it out. They weren't being very nice.
they Survey Central Subscriber
posted 18-Jan-2009 1:57pm  
As a child, sure.

It's a common little girl game. Girls are freaking mean.
JessicaWoman99 Double Gold Star Survey Creator Survey Qualifier
posted 18-Jan-2009 6:08pm  
Yes yes and yes by those dam pig headed religious goons to hell with them
JessicaWoman99 Double Gold Star Survey Creator Survey Qualifier
(reply to LJD) posted 18-Jan-2009 6:13pm  
> No. But, I can understand the reason behind shunning.

Yes Jean there are those kinds of religious christians they are so caught up in being religious and judgmental and there is no love of Jesus in their bones at all talk about being critical towards other people mean and cold hearted
LJD Gold Qualifier
(reply to JessicaWoman99) posted 18-Jan-2009 7:20pm  
Judging others is a sin, God will be the one judging. I know my faults more than anyone else, and ask for forgiveness from the one that counts. Take care, and God bless!
LJD Gold Qualifier
posted 18-Jan-2009 7:32pm  
Depending on circumstances, I can understand shunning. Would you ask your children to avoid drug addicts? Criminals? Avoiding them is shunning.

Shunning someone is letting them know their behavior is inappropriate, wrong, such as adultry, stealing, etc. What has happened in this world is, "anything goes, whatever feels good, do it". It is wrong because there are repercussions to our behavior....in reality, we make ourselves suffer.
JessicaWoman99 Double Gold Star Survey Creator Survey Qualifier
(reply to LJD) posted 18-Jan-2009 7:37pm  
> Judging others is a sin, God will be the one judging. I know my faults
> more than anyone else, and ask for forgiveness from the one that counts.
> Take care, and God bless!

Yep how very true judging others and God is our true Judge up there in heaven and i know my faults as well
Biggles
posted 20-Jan-2009 12:04pm  
I don't think so.
LoriJanine
(reply to LJD) posted 21-Jan-2009 7:59am  
> Depending on circumstances, I can understand
> shunning. Would you ask your children to
> avoid drug addicts? Criminals? Avoiding
> them is shunning.
>
> Shunning someone is letting them know their
> behavior is inappropriate, wrong, such as
> adultry, stealing, etc. What has happened
> in this world is, "anything goes, whatever
> feels good, do it". It is wrong because
> there are repercussions to our behavior....in
> reality, we make ourselves suffer.

Not becoming pals with people is not shunning. Avoiding unsavory characters isn't the kind of shunning that this survey seems to be asking about. While you don't pal around with certain types, you'd still say hello when you pass them on the street if you are aquainted somehow. Shunning, to me, is complete snobbery and refusing to look their way. Some guy is seen somewhere with a woman who is not his wife, so his church refuses to let him walk in the next Sunday. That's shunning.
LoriJanine
posted 21-Jan-2009 8:12am  
I have experienced IN CHURCH someone refusing to make eye contact or say hi in passing. Get up and walk off when I sat nearby, throw my hand back and mutter 'morning' in a f* off manner. This was all in one church. Now--if I honestly had not done anything to these people or anyone else for that matter, what was the point? Didn't know why they were acting that way, either. Later I learned that apparently one of them refused to accept me because my son didn't act like he should for his age. Yeah, Aspergers can do that to a 3 yr old.
When I made the decision to leave this church, people acted like I was so wrong. The shunning/snobbery wasnt the only thing about it I didnt like. Sorry I ranted but this survey makes me think of those snobs.
bubbles2398
posted 16-May-2013 5:10pm  
my neighbors shun me after slitting my tires, stealing baloons off mailbox, destroying flowers etc. I've called police and exposed this activity. so now they still stalk me every time i go outside.and if i leave and come home they have moved their cars to show me they see me but don't want to be around me. they put in sprinkler systems so they don't have to come outside (I always plant and water and am outside a lot) they REFUSE to speak to me i have tried to "work things out' and foolishly didn't understand what they were doing. one day after 2 years of one neighbor coming out every time i did (stalker neighbor) i smiled and waved and said hello. i did this to another neighbor as well and they became furious. I said hello to another one who came out when she thought i wasn't home. she winced and looked like i had shot her. i think i am having a break through and have finally realized after much trial, tears, hurt, anger and heartbreak that they don't matter. it is so freeing. I was considering moving. i have a beautiful home. I called a fence contractor to put a pretty iron fence across front with gate. Neighbors come out with loud power washeres, lawn mowers, stump grinders to protest. They cut my knockout roses all across front yard to "see me better" to keep an eye on me. I have never experienced people who "won't speak to me" try to comminicate so much. One asked me if i was a Christian two minutes after she told me i have a problem and need medication. She has called the neighborhood security patrol on me every time i walk in my own yard. It seems pretty big brother to me. I finally complained.. I bet she has called over 200 times. She has called the city to complain about flower bet, post office to complain about mailbox. she put nails and splintered wood in cove, they steal balloons off mailbox and she is constantly doing something. I had no idea what all this was about. I see now they are baiting me to retaliate which i won't. I think that infuriates them even more. she tears up flowers while hers just bloom away and i won't touch them (boy have i been tempted) i kept trying to figure it all out. i stopped activities, gained weight, lost family members, and truly thought i was bad. I must be bad for this to be going on . Now i realize I am NOT bad. i have lost weight, resumed activities etc. I still don't understand how she is so good at lying to others and have them follow. She acts very superior but there are times she plays the poor helpless victim. Sometimes when i leave the cove i come back to find all their cars parked on one side of the street. Leave again and they move them to another house. If they could do something legally to me they would. They can't so they resort to this. I just think "oh the children are active today" i think they are mad because i don't follow their rules. I don't gossip about the others and did not want to join the "clique". i plant my own flowers rather then hire someone, am active and happy. Until i totally let them buffalo me into depression. Once the cops came to check out my yard! sorry no meth lab was found. I sometimes go to a nearby Wendy's for a break from work and a coke at 11 PM at night. That freaks her out! Its against the rules. She turns her eve lights on when my sons come home. They are Eagle Scouts! When we finally move, i am kind of hoping 5 boys who play basketball move here. Shunning is a horrible thing. Only cowards pariticpate.
Lysannus Survey Qualifier
posted 20-May-2013 4:58am  
Do I really care, NO.
A group shuns me which indicate they don't want me, I move on, unless I see it as a challenge for battle of the wills.
Lysannus Survey Qualifier
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 20-May-2013 5:27am  
> When I made the decision to leave this church, people acted like I
> was so wrong. The shunning/snobbery wasnt the only thing about it
> I didnt like. Sorry I ranted but this survey makes me think of those
> snobs.

I know where you are coming from here. It amazes me how some of these church goers can call themselves Christian. I am reminded of the time years ago when I joined the choir I am still in.
The first rehearsal some of them came up to me and said these nasty things about this one in my section. Well far be it from me to take things at face value so I went and talked with her.
She was nice and I finally found out what the problem was, she like me were outsiders and we both could sing loud with perfect pitch. (apparently this didn't go over well).
Both of us were stubborn hard heads so we were not gonna quit because of this. So one day it came to a boil, we were singing away and one of the others gave us the evil eye and saying in a voice
meant to be quiet but we could hear "why don't those two sing quieter". Promptly right then in the middle of church my section partner said in a not so quiet voice that I am know could be heard everywhere,
"Well at least WE can sing, unlike some others!!!". Later the director pulled us aside and asked what that outburst was for and so we told him. He said he would talk with the other.
Next rehearsal there were six less in the choir. The two of us are still not in the 'clique' but we don't care, we both love to sing and the hell with everyone else. At least no more evil eyes and rude comments.
Lysannus Survey Qualifier
(reply to bubbles2398) posted 20-May-2013 5:39am  
Wow that is terrible. It is one thing to just be ignored by the neighbors, another entirely when they are vindictive and destructive.
Thankfully I don't have to deal with that, as my closest neighbors house I can't see from mine.
I have this Sheppard/rottweiler mix who is just the sweetest thing (at least to me) anyone else not so.
He does a good job of keeping the vandals away and what he can't keep away the ole' 12gauge shot gun will take care of.
LoriJanine
(reply to Lysannus) posted 20-May-2013 9:58am  
it amazes me that people can attend church every week and still have that envy of others thing going on. We're supposed to love others.
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