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essay8-Apr-2011familyJoyfulivy by votes41257.7%

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If your child does not do homework HOW can you get them to do it?

Two boys, ages 11 and 13, 5th and 8th grade, both with a high IQ, (129 and 148) both are failing in school, or "just" getting by. All of their teachers say the same thing: "He's smart, thinks outside the box, particpates in classroom activities, but doesn't finsh his homework, and some classwork." HOW do you get the child to do their homework or even turn it in. (NOTE: parent sits next to child to make them do the homework in the afternoon.. short of walking homework to classroom parent can not be sure it is turned in)


 


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FordGuy Survey Central Subscriber Gold Qualifier
posted 8-Apr-2011 7:21am  
Sounds like me growing up. I was bored with the whole system. The only advice I could give is to make it challenging for them. It takes away the boredom.
bill Survey Central Gold Subscriber Gold Star Survey Creator
posted 8-Apr-2011 8:02am  
I don't know. Maybe create some rules that motivate them to do it. For example, don't let them do what they want to do (use internet/tv/phone/videogames) until homework is done.
Partly, I'm getting the impression the problem is bigger than homework, though. Just forcing them to do homework may not really solve the bigger problem of them not really being interested in school. Maybe an alternate school would be better.
CarlHalling
posted 8-Apr-2011 8:13am  
Those kids sound a bit like the younger me. I thought outside the box; and spent much of my childhood at the bottom of the class in most subjects. It was impossible to get me to work to any degree, although a lot was done to try and help. In the end, the system gave up on me and I was allowed to leave school early, having learned relatively little. But that was the beginning of my education: some people are just not suited to school. They have that kind of maverick intelligence that simply can't connect to it. But I still believe everything should be done to get them to work: somehow I believe it's not good for a kid to seriously underachieve when young. Whether it works or not is another matter...the good news is that once released from school, great things can happen. They did for me. I have loved learning ever since.
Lysannus Bronze Star Survey Creator Survey Qualifier
posted 8-Apr-2011 8:21am  
Wish I could help but I have the same problem with my grandson age 10.
It's like pulling teeth to get him to do it. He will just sit there for 3 hours and stare at it.
We don't let him do anything else until he finishes it. Which when he finally decides that he will have to do it takes only 15-20 min.
they Survey Central Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 8-Apr-2011 9:10am  
Take crap away from them - phones, computers, games.

If that doesn't work, I recommend waterboarding.
Galomorro
posted 8-Apr-2011 10:25am  
I feel kids should not have to DO any homework at all. They go to school all day and school is boring/has been boring for many kids. Kids need to be active, pursue their own hobbies. Kids this bright are probably bored stiff having to put up with all the boring school subjects forced upon them. Teachers should take them on field trips more often, like out in nature. Once they get out of school they should be free to do more interesting things (not just TV).
jettles Survey Central Subscriber Gold Qualifier
posted 8-Apr-2011 11:27am  
you take things( video, computer, anything they like) away until they understand "their" responsibility in their schooling, after that, they fail and remain back in the same class again.
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
posted 8-Apr-2011 12:10pm  
You are the boss, so you can make them do it. Sit with them, use reward and punishment, whatever it takes. It's true that you can't be there to make them turn it in, but if you make sure it's in the backpack and you let the teacher know that it's in the backpack, then maybe the teacher can take care of getting it out and turned in in class. Again, I'd say let the kids know you're the boss and this is just something they have to do. Admittedly, I have no kids, but when this was an issue in my family (never with me, though!), that's how it went.

I've also heard that rewarding kids for trying and for effort, rather than for success or intelligence, is a better way to keep them motivated. Kids who are praised for being smart learn that they don't have to try as hard. (I've seen this happen, too.) Don't praise your kids' IQs (which I think is mostly a bunch of BS anyway) or give them the impression that their intelligence will get them through life without having to work.
LJD Gold Qualifier
posted 8-Apr-2011 3:19pm  
Their favorite things are taken away. First you tell them what will happen if they don't do their homework, and then if they don't, stay true to your word. Consistency...

Do they have trouble focusing? Do they have signs of ADHD, OR ADD? If so, it is a food allergy. Know your children's blood type, and put them on a diet according to their blood type.

EAT RIGHT FOR (4) Your Type by Dr. Peter D'Adamo/Catherine Whitney. You may want to look up the book. If a person has trouble with concentration, focusing, has perhaps OCD, there is a food allergy.

I wish you luck.
cloudhugger
posted 8-Apr-2011 3:19pm  
Give them a sample of what life is like once they are out of school. Present to them a scenario in real life as how math is vital whilst cooking, driving, waling the dog...money exchanges leading into maybe stocks and bonds as an income. Show them how history shapes our future. Lead them into the great outdoors and how learning science and social behaviour can make the world fun. Make yorself an example of how the passion of learning is up to them, not up to you or schools. Show them how to go above and beyond.
Quit making school ahorrible chore anda source of your stress.
JessicaWoman99 Quintuple Gold Star Survey Creator Survey Qualifier
posted 8-Apr-2011 6:11pm  
Well if I had children I would entice them to do their homework by taking them to McDonalds or Subway for an ice cream treat
Richard47
posted 8-Apr-2011 7:35pm  
In my day, it was detention if you did not turn in your homework. That was motivation enough (even if the homework was wrong) Having a tutor assist a child who is having a difficult time in a particular subject (peer lead) could help. At 11 and 13, they are making a conscious choice not to do their homework, so you could ask why (?) and stress that there are consequences for their actions. Kids NEVER want to do their homework. I tried doing my homework (in high school), while being is another class....especially history where the teacher just talked on and on and on.
Strider Survey Central Gold Subscriber Gold Qualifier
posted 8-Apr-2011 8:18pm  
I think sometimes people (teachers and parents) put to much emphasis on completing all homework/ classwork. If for example the child in question has 10 questions to do for homework but they only do 6, why should they get a zero on that. I had one math teacher in High School that before doing the days work we would take up the homework from the night before and would end up doing just about every answer on the board. Also most teachers I had gave us a mark if we had done at least half of the questions.
Iseult Silver Star Survey Creator
posted 8-Apr-2011 8:25pm  
Talk to the boys first and ask them directly about why they are not completing their homework.
Irene007 Survey Central Gold Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 9-Apr-2011 3:29am  
I had the same problem with Matt; too smart for the regular schooling but, if it hadn't been for one of his teachers who recommended him for a special program; he would have fell through the cracks. This program was for students who had good Math and was directing them into electronics. It's a program that was started by a teacher who thought that it would be a good idea to lead students to concentrate on electronics as, the market is all about it now. So classes like gym, home economics, woodworking and etc. were eliminated and replaced with classes that one would take in college. It worked for Matt; it's what saved him. Smarter kids need challenges and staying in class, listening to the teacher repeat what they had understood the first time makes classes tedious and boring for them.
Consider putting them in a private school if you can afford it. I couldn't but I was very fortunate.
Marianella
posted 9-Apr-2011 5:06am  
I let them go until my husband comes home and let him deal with them. My husband likes to photo-copy their homework and make them do it twice, tearing up the first time through and then giving them more homework that he makes while their working on their real homework.
LoriJanine Survey Qualifier
posted 9-Apr-2011 10:18am  
My oldest went through a phase where he didn't want to do the work. We'd make him do the work he didn't turn in, even if he wouldn't get credit for it. Taking away his computer or games until he did it. Whatever they like to do a lot, that might be preventing them from wanting to do homework, take away until they can be more responsible and get their homework done every night.
He also would do the work and not turn it in. The teachers would have to go through his messy unorganised stuff for him and find it. Middle school was the worst! Give rewards for the responsibilities of actually turning it in when they do it. Or practice being more organised somehow. it's hard for boys that age to be organised. Girls are better at it.
llamamama
(reply to LJD) posted 9-Apr-2011 10:40am  
That is definitely not even remotely correct all of the time.
LJD Gold Qualifier
(reply to llamamama) posted 9-Apr-2011 11:41am  
I agree....not all the time. The reason I mentioned it, is because there is a possibility. I know a woman who had three sons, all of them had trouble doing homework, all of them were diagnosed as having ADHD. Ask yourself what is the connection?
LJD Gold Qualifier
posted 9-Apr-2011 11:56am  
I think there should be no homework. Why do teachers give homework? A teacher, while my grandson was in high school, told the class, the only reason he has to assign homework was to keep the students out of trouble. Homework is a way to control students time....I think away from family time.

I know families that home school. First through 7th grade it takes them no more than 2 hours to homeschool. Eighth through high school, no more than 4 hours to teach. The students still have a good social life. What home schooling does is keep the filthy socialist/marxist ideas away from them. School was designed for socialization, indoctrination, brainwashing. I've seen it in the schools...and the taxpayers are paying for junk schooling. I once talked to a teacher that says alot of the teachers DON'T like what they have to teach, and have big discussions with the superintendants, to no avail. Remember, teachers are no more than "change agents". While many people go into the profession with noble reasons, they find quickly they are no more than "change agents" for the enemy within.
llamamama
(reply to LJD) posted 9-Apr-2011 1:32pm  
Uh, my connection wouldn't be a food allergy.
Did you know that sugar doesn't actually make a kid hyper? It's the fact that that's how everyone thinks they're supposed to be because of it.
My brother has ADD. He does not have a food allergy.
ADD is both incredibly over-diagnosed and under-diagnosed.

The thing is, there is more to ADD than just being unable to focus. Being impulsive, being unable to see how your actions affect things, and being unable to tell how people feel about things are all other symptoms. Also, ADD could very well be genetic (I personally have no idea. So, I don't think it would be really weird to have three kids with it. I mean, I don't have it..But I know that boys are a lot more likely to have it than girls).
LJD Gold Qualifier
(reply to llamamama) posted 9-Apr-2011 3:05pm  
The connection is heredity, with the help of some underhanded teaching. We inherit our past. Blood type, dna. I'm not a scientist, but it is common sense.

This is a little off the subject, and could be part of the issue. Years ago, in first grade, my sons were put in a class as an experiment with alot of other boys. I was dumb, and trusting of government schools, so I allowed it. I feel without a doubt our children are taught HOW NOT TO LEARN. The brain learns in a certain way, but with an opposite way, causes confusion. When my sons were in 6th grade, they were tested at above average, but they had trouble settling down and doing their homework. My sons were not diagnosed with ADHD. My one son, who skipped school often, his algebra teacher said he would be an A student, if he just attended more often. He said he was bright, intelligent. My other son when in the sixth grade, while trying to do his homework, said "mom, it's I can think of the problem, solve in my head, but putting it on paper was a problem. The Birch Society said American schools use the Pavlov way of teaching...confusion. I once went to a seminar on learning about eyes, and getting out of glasses. The teacher said, through proper teaching, people could learn a language in days. Students are not taught how to read properly. Improper reading brings stress to the eyes, ultimately the liver. The liver is the orchestra leader of the body.

Also, both my sons have a propensity toward alcohol, as their dad did. (he hasn't drank since 1965). My sons, luckily, with the Grace of God, they quit fairly early (in their 20's). This is a heredity problem for males. Alcohols are made with grains, some people have allergies with certain foods/grains. When my sons were 2 and 3 years old, I had them tested by a great allergy specialist. They both tested as allergic to the same foods (back to blood type). They are a type O, some of the foods were wheat, corn, certain grains, dairy, oranges, some legumes... Unfortunately, to add more problems to the mix is when the grains are refined, modified in todays world. Refinement takes away tyrosine, and other nutrients our young children and adults need.

Sorry I didn't mean to rant, but I care for our future generations.
llamamama
(reply to LJD) posted 9-Apr-2011 6:42pm  
Your kids were just being kids. Not saying skipping school or anything is acceptable.
And neither my brother and I have the same blood type as my parents (just sayin').
Scott
posted 10-Apr-2011 6:58am  
Make them bring home weekly progress reports and start taking crap away from them until they start handing their stuff in. Start with their cell phones, then move on to video games, time with friends, etc.

This actually sounds a little like me when I was in junior high. I figured out exactly how many assignments I could get away without turning in as long as I did well on tests and still end up with a good grade in the class. Drove my parents and teachers nuts! I still got the grades, though, so there wasn't much they could do.
Scott
(reply to they) posted 10-Apr-2011 7:06am  
> Take crap away from them - phones, computers, games.
>
> If that doesn't work, I recommend waterboarding.


 * yes *

Nitroeddy
posted 10-Apr-2011 8:13am  
I have never been a fan of homework for homework's sake, but if homework is necessary my rules are you do you homework immediately when you get home from school. No going out to play, no TV, nothing until the homework is done and checked by me or my wife. If the children are not doing their homework I put the blame on the parents. In fact, if the children are having the problem stated, I blame the parents. If the homework is finished and correct and they still don't turn it in then there's a lot more going on!
they Survey Central Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to Scott) posted 10-Apr-2011 9:10am  
 * evil smile *
jen Survey Central Gold Subscriber
posted 10-Apr-2011 12:55pm  
tell them that 92% of prison inmates didn't do their homework either.
Gomezy3k
posted 10-Apr-2011 2:40pm  
Whips, chains, and locking them in a closet...
LindaH Quadruple Gold Star Survey Creator Gold Qualifier
posted 11-Apr-2011 10:10am  
Take away their favorite things until it is done.
LindaH Quadruple Gold Star Survey Creator Gold Qualifier
(reply to LoriJanine) posted 11-Apr-2011 10:19am  
They were telling Brian that if he didn't get his classwork done, they'd have to take him out of the gifted class (a pull-out) which he finds fun. So, he's better at getting his work done now.

Oh... his team won the tower building contest because he thought to use tension string.  * grin * Sorry, bragging...
they Survey Central Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 17-Apr-2011 8:44am  
> Somewhere, someone is asking
> "HOW can you get your parents
> to lighten up, let their children
> live their own lives, and
> stop pressuring them to conform".

If we are still talking about homework, I wouldn't blame the parents for not lightening up. We are required by law to send our children to school. If they don't complete the overly excessive amounts of homework given to them, our children fail - and failure in school will usually lead to failure in life in this world.

Jody
posted 17-Apr-2011 9:52pm  
There's a great book called "ending the homework hassle". It was really helpful to me.
they Survey Central Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 24-Apr-2011 5:50pm  
Good lord. When did people stop being able to take a joke? I'm getting pretty sick of minuses popping up on my Scorecard. Minus this one instead ya big babies.
troyshell10
posted 26-Apr-2011 12:41am  
phone school and check
cloudhugger
(reply to they) posted 26-Apr-2011 1:23pm  
Yeah, and it isn't like the whole water boarding thing happened yesterday, it isn't like it's 'too soon'.
lol
they Survey Central Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
(reply to cloudhugger) posted 26-Apr-2011 5:51pm  
 * yes *
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator Survey Qualifier This user is on the site NOW (1 minute ago)
posted 29-Apr-2011 9:45am  
I don't think the problem is really the homework - if the parent is sat with the child then it appears that the child is doing the homework. The problem is with not handing it in. Both of these children are old enough to be able to explain why they aren't handing it in - have you tried asking them?
autumnlight
posted 30-Apr-2011 10:11am  
Punish them if they don't do it. Take away priveleges, ground them.
Liss Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 16-Sep-2011 2:15pm  
Ahaaa this is me. I'd say get them a hobby outside of school. Something productive that they enjoy. Threaten to not let them go without going to school and doing homework. I know this would have made me go; I was always begging for something to do. I'd be a lot more boring if they had, but I dunno, I might know trumpet or something.
Liss Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 16-Sep-2011 2:17pm  
And the answerer is saying 'Because I want my child to make gradution/GCSEs, you big smelly hippy.'
carpo
posted 18-Sep-2011 4:37pm  
I am 35 now. I had the exact same thing in school. I was in the "TAG" (talented and gifted) program in 4th grade. I aced all my tests. I knew it all.
But I left high school with a 1.5 GPA. Fail!

I never did homework. Period.

If your kids don't do homework, they (most likely) never will. A parent must realize that every kid is different, and the education system tries to conform them all into a box. I think it is sad.
If your kids don't do homework, they are probably artists in the making. Accept what they do with the time they should be doing homework. See what things they DO accomplish...(hopefully not video games).

In my junior and senior year, I got a 3.5 GPA. All A's and B's. Why? the work was harder, the classes were more complex, the school was far away so I had to spend 2 hours on the bus every day.

But....THERE WAS NO HOMEWORK! EVER!

It was 2 different alternative schools I went to. They worked it to the way I learned, and it worked. Don't be scared by alternative school, they are not for "troubled kids" but rather for kids that need a different environment to learn properly.

Do the kids a favor, and give it a shot. You may find it to be the best decision, and a lot of the time your current school will pay the bill. (especially if you DO have a troubled kid, they want those kids out whatever it takes. I know. I got caught with a bong in sophomore year. they paid for me to "leave" lol...)

You get one chance to make your kids learn. It's better if they want to do it on their own. Artists learn differently. It's not our fault!

(In conclusion, with my 2 years of 3.5 gpa, I still failed to graduate. But as an artist, I became a furniture builder, I love what I do and make fine money. Don't try and force your career on your kids. That's messed up, unless there is a good reason. Each bird his own feather!)
Peace!
Josh
carpo
(reply to Galomorro) posted 18-Sep-2011 4:39pm  
Agreed in full! nobody should have to go home and do more work. Does the mcdonalds cashier have to come home and count change off the clocK? Lol
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