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essay10-Jun-2005ethics/moralitymable03 by votes881153.0%


What is the best type of discipline for a teenager with bad grades?


paulyw Gold Star Survey Creator Happy Birthday to Me
posted 11-Jun-2005 10:48pm  
Well in my opinion the best discipline is to either ground him/her, or take away another type of privilege.
posted 11-Jun-2005 11:50pm  
posted 12-Jun-2005 12:21am  
Maybe the kid needs a tutor or was never taught good study habits. This question is too open, do you mean the teen "can't be bothered" or just can't pull off the grades you want?
posted 12-Jun-2005 12:22am  
You don't discipline for bad grades. You try to figure out what is wrong.
Enheduanna Survey Central Subscriber
posted 12-Jun-2005 12:26am  
It's probably worth trying to find out why they're getting bad grades. Perhaps they need some help, maybe a tutor or just a parent to go over things with them. If it's because they're blowing off their homework and not studying, then again time spent with a parent in the evening, looking at what they're doing and making sure they keep up on their assignments still seems like a good idea. If that doesn't work, then not allowing them to participate in an activity they like--a club or a sport--unless they pull up their grades might also help. Although I'm far from an expert on the topic, and I'm sure it will vary from person to person.
posted 12-Jun-2005 12:41am  
I agree with joalis on this. There are too many factors that can cause bad grades, some of them are out of the control of the teen such as having a undiagnosed learning disability which may impair comprehending numbers or letters.
Strider Survey Central Gold Subscriber
posted 12-Jun-2005 1:02am  
Summer school
posted 12-Jun-2005 1:25am  
posted 12-Jun-2005 1:29am  
I can't answer this question without knowing more specifics. It really depends on the reason for bad grades and also your definition for bad grades. A bad grade is different for each child. For a gifted student, an average grade might be seen as bad. Yet, for an average student that bad grade would actually be a good grade. So, it depends on the student and the grade. Also, there are many reasons for bad grades. Sometimes the student doesn't understand the material. Maybe the teacher didn't explain it well or the student needs some extra help on that subject. Sometimes the student has problems at home that are getting in the way. Maybe there are too many outside activities that are taking time away from their studies. Maybe the work isn't challenging enough for the student, so they blow it off. Maybe the student needs encouragement. Maybe the student has a learning problem.

My advice would be to find the problem and fix it. If you dig deep enough, you'll be able to find the problem. If a student simply doesn't care about school, there is usually a reason for that as well.

I'm a tutor for 2nd-4th grades and I've found that a student with bad grades usually just needs a little more encouragement. Sometimes it takes a child a little longer for the material to click and it's important that the parents understand this. If a parent is constantly on the kid's back about grades, that adds stress to the situation and makes it harder for the kid to bounce back.
(reply to LindaH) posted 12-Jun-2005 1:31am  
There should be more parents that think like you. I've found that the problem often lies with the parents. Either they are putting too much pressure on their kids or their kids are performing the best they can, yet it's still not good enough for the parents.
posted 12-Jun-2005 1:44am  
Use thumbscrews on them if beating them with stick doesn't work?

Never having had kids I can't tell you much. The only thing I can do to help is to tell you that some people cannot get good grades. It doesn't mean they're dumb or lazy, it is just that they do not give exactly what is wanted from them (and you have to be able to tell what is excepted of you, and not EVERYone can do it (meaning, you are assigned an essay and you have to read teacher's mind to know what kind of argument to come up with in order to get a really good mark or something such)). I know myself, I had very bad marks through high school and worked my butt off. When I went to university, it was a different story. Why? Because high school didn't suit me. My point is that bad grades might not be entirely teen's fault and that sometimes there is not much you can do.
romkey Survey Central Gold Subscriber
posted 12-Jun-2005 6:02am  
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator This user is on the site NOW (4 minutes ago)
posted 12-Jun-2005 6:12am  
Are they bad because they're the best the teenager can do, or are they bad for the teenager? If it's the best they can do whilst still having a life then get off their back - even bright kids aren't always academic. My poor younger brother has had to follow my older brother and myself through school, constantly being compared to our very strong academic performances. My younger brother is exceptionally bright, but he just isn't academic in the same way. Fortunately, he comes from a family where his own talents are recognised and emphasised, but it's still been tough for him at school where teachers have expected another "top of the class" pupil. He kicked back against it a little by saying he didn't think university was for him (which would have been fine - I'm first generation university educated so it's hardly family tradition). Then he started working in retail after he finished school, and after a couple of months he started looking for courses! He's now going to be studying creative writing at a decent university which will really suit him - he's a brilliant writer (mark my words, you'll hear of him one day) and there are no exams, just coursework.

So, in the case of teenagers like my brother who are getting the best grades that they can, whether they're very bright or pretty stupid, the person who should be disciplined is the parent. Disciplined to let their child find their own path and not push and prod them which will ultimately make them feel like a failure.

Then there are the ones who are getting bad grades because they just aren't knuckling down and bothering to do their work. Perhaps they're playing up in lessons. Again, get off their back. As long as they're keeping up (getting Cs) then it really doesn't matter too much when they're young. I know a lot of boys who never seemed to come into their own until Y9 (when they were 14) and they were starting to work for their exams at 16. Let them be - once they gain that bit of extra maturity (i.e. when they realise that a lot of the girls are actually more impressed by the smart guys than the loud ones) then they will work.

If the teenager is getting bad grades and they're coming up to exams then sit down and talk to them. Advise them that if their grades won't improve, their choices in life may be limited. Do it with love and compassion, and I can't see you going wrong. Perhaps suggest a reward system if they really lack the ability to just sit down and focus on work - "if you do this many hours a week, at the end of the week we'll have a family outing to the cinema and for a meal". It shouldn't be anything too fancy though - they need to learn that they are already getting a great reward for their hard work - good grades.

The last thing that you should ever do is shout or bully or hit. What child is that going to help? The father of one of my friends at school would lock him in a room with nothing but his notes and revision guides, starting several months before his exams.

In other words, the best kind of discipline is your own, to love your child enough that you do what is actually best for them rather than what seems most important to you. Just because with hindsight you happen to "know" that the most important thing that came out of your teenage years were your grades in school (honestly, who could believe that?), remember that your teenager is quite possibly aware that the most important things to be doing are those that you are never going to be told about unless something goes wrong. (Ok, so I may have focused on school...but most don't!)

This is getting too long, I'm going to shut up.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator This user is on the site NOW (4 minutes ago)
(reply to Iseult) posted 12-Jun-2005 6:22am  
That's exactly the same with my younger brother - he's awful at knowing what the people marking his work want to hear. All the way through school, I knew *exactly* what they wanted. I cringe at some of my English coursework - I wrote it with the cheesiest flourishes I could bring myself to inflict on the paper...and got top marks. It was really bad writing, but they lapped it up.

University has been a lot harder. It took me two years to realise that my tutors weren't wanting me to produce beautifully balanced arguments, weighing up the pros and cons of particular biological theories. They wanted me to dive in, choose the theory that seemed best, and defend it whilst ripping the others to shreds. That way they could ridicule my arguments in tutorials which would teach me how to defend what I thought under intense criticism, or indeed change my mind when presented with more compelling evidence. Unfortunately, writing essays like that in exams is incredibly high risk - you could go completely the wrong way and get very low marks or go completely the right way and get incredible marks. No either/or. I don't have the balls to take those risks - I went with a more balanced approach in the hope of getting average marks.

Next I shall have to work out what they want from a PhD thesis. Lummy.
bill Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 12-Jun-2005 7:51am  
I have no idea.

Grounding them seems like a decent idea.
posted 12-Jun-2005 7:55am  
No Car! smiley:::frown
posted 12-Jun-2005 10:27am  
It depends on why he or she is getting bad grades. If the student is working hard and getting bad grades, then its not discipline that's needed, its just help and support. I hate parents who pressure kids into doing well but never try to help. Maybe the student needs a tutor or to go to a learning centre after school for help with homework and study skills. Or maybe they need to be encouraged to ask the teacher for extra help, since sometimes people are hesitant to do that, even if they really want help. Or, maybe there is something else going on in the kid's life that's affecting the grades, like troubles at home or problems with boyfriends and girlfriends or friends at school. Or problems with teachers. There are lots of valid reasons for struggling in school, and you never know what they are until you talk to your kid. And if your kid won't talk to you, find someone who he or she will talk to.
posted 12-Jun-2005 11:20am  
Jesus will save them. Ok no I'm just fudge with ya. But really what they need is more time with their parents and home work at the same time. Then they get that boost and something clicks in there head and says "Hey mom and dad really want me to succeed and have good grades." And also assistance from teachers would work in conjunction with parents.
(reply to Biggles) posted 12-Jun-2005 12:18pm  
I think the best thing to think in your essays is what your professor (or whoever is marking the essay thinks). That's what I always do. It's not so hard to tell, you usually hear the prof talking about it.

'That way they could ridicule my arguments in tutorials which would teach me how to defend what I thought under intense criticism, or indeed change my mind when presented with more compelling evidence.'
That just gave me a really funny picture, sorry, I can't help it.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator This user is on the site NOW (4 minutes ago)
posted 12-Jun-2005 12:24pm  
I can't believe how many people are saying that the kid needs a tutor - how pushy parent can you get? Not to mention how it heaps extra unfairness onto the education system with wealthy parents being able to pay to hire tutors and poorer parents being unable to. It makes me laugh how middle class parents who say they oppose private schools on principle then go out and hire private tutors.
posted 12-Jun-2005 12:48pm  
no outings, shopping, and 2 hour study time until next report card
posted 12-Jun-2005 2:50pm  
You figure out the source of the problem. Do they need help in certain subjects, or is there a reason for slacking off? If there are hobbies that occupy their homework or study time you limit or maybe ban them from that particular thing until they show they are caring more about their schoolwork. You dont get ticked off and ground them.. you find out why, and show them what needs to be done to keep decent grades. If they need you to make them responsible, you do what it takes. Grounding doesn't work.
posted 12-Jun-2005 4:33pm  
I don't think you should punish a teenager with bad grades. What if they have dyslexia or learning difficulties? If they are just lazy, their punishment will come later in life when they can't get a good job.

Maybe they need a quieter area in which to study, or are just sick of the pressure loaded on them to pass exams? I think providing help would be a better reaction.
posted 12-Jun-2005 5:03pm  
Use an electric cattle prod on him.
posted 12-Jun-2005 7:52pm  
Self discipline.

I'm not sure how to answer this as a moral/ethical question. I don't even see how morals and ethics enter into the question. However, it seems to me that grades in school are virtually irrelevant and therefore not something requiring discipline. A teenager is either an adult or nearly an adult. At that point in their lives they should be making a lot of their own decisions about where they are going scholastically and how that is going to affect their future. Of course parents want their children to do well and succeed, but if the child isn't willing to do what it takes to get good grades in school, there isn't much the parent can do. I mean, the parent could use rewards and punishments, but where does that end and what are you really teaching them?
posted 12-Jun-2005 9:37pm  
I say bring um to my house and let my dogs handle them
posted 12-Jun-2005 9:42pm  
it totally depends on the situation, if they are having academic problems from not understanding,etc you should not punish them but seek help from someone who will maybe tutor them, if they are a big partier or spend all their time on the computer or playing games instead of doing homework,etc, take away whatever is distracting them till they can show that they are improving grades and doing homework, though that would probably only work good on younger teens, i know when i was 16-18 none of those punishments fazed me id just be like 'whatever' and my mom tried getting my sister to do better and her junior year she dropped out, it really depends on the kid if anything would work, sure you could punish or spank them but that wont always fix the problem
(reply to Biggles) posted 12-Jun-2005 9:47pm  
i dont know about where you live but where i live children of all ages including high schoolers can go to after school tutoring for free, or morning tutoring
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator This user is on the site NOW (4 minutes ago)
(reply to TrinityAnn2) posted 12-Jun-2005 10:04pm  
For free? The state pays?
(reply to Biggles) posted 12-Jun-2005 10:38pm  
Shouldn't kids that are struggling or falling behind get tutors?
(reply to Biggles) posted 12-Jun-2005 11:11pm  
no teachers and other adults offer and volunteer it on nearly all subjects, its really very convieniant especially if you cannot afford something like that and it shows the children that other kids have problems to because several kids go
posted 13-Jun-2005 12:32am  
This is in "ethics/morality" so you are asking because you are concerned about the work ethic? A lot of adults "ground" their teenagers but that won't help if they just don't understand what they're studying. In short... my answer "depends".
posted 13-Jun-2005 6:37am  
I think just more study time unless thier grades are low from skipping class and/or just not giving a crap. If they are just low the parent should spend some time helping with homework too and explaining what they can. Talk with the teachers of the classes that are bad.
posted 13-Jun-2005 8:36am  
Removal of fingernails using Vise-Grips and a hammer.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator This user is on the site NOW (4 minutes ago)
(reply to LindaH) posted 13-Jun-2005 9:52am  
Why? So that they can go to school then come home and have to give up even more of their free time to going over the same work one on one?
(reply to Biggles) posted 13-Jun-2005 10:15am  
So they aren't frustrated and feeling overwhelmed and defeated by their schoolwork.
posted 13-Jun-2005 10:33am  
Take away their computer privileges, phone, (for some, take away their cell phone), games, tv, and access to friends until the grades come up. Then again I knew a woman that removed everything from her son's room and left him with a bed, clothes, didn't help.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator This user is on the site NOW (4 minutes ago)
(reply to LindaH) posted 13-Jun-2005 12:20pm  
I would think a parent having a chat with them would do more to help them with that. Rather than putting them under additional pressure.
posted 13-Jun-2005 12:35pm  
take away what s/he likes, plus, take away freedom
posted 13-Jun-2005 1:09pm  
For a first-time offense, revoking privileges. If it's chronic, the school system has their own punishment for that - make-up work after school or in summer school, or being held back.
(reply to Biggles) posted 13-Jun-2005 1:29pm  
How is a having tutor putting extra pressure on them? Tutors don't give kids extra work, they help them with their schoolwork.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator This user is on the site NOW (4 minutes ago)
(reply to LindaH) posted 13-Jun-2005 6:36pm  
Here having a tutor would involve doing extra work on top of everything else. Pupils with tutors would be expected to do better - what if they're already doing as well as they can?
(reply to Biggles) posted 13-Jun-2005 6:41pm  
Oh. I was thinking of the kind that give individualized attention for the same schoolwork everyone else gets. People who are falling behind shouldn't get extra work. They should get extra help.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator This user is on the site NOW (4 minutes ago)
(reply to LindaH) posted 13-Jun-2005 6:44pm  
I suppose I'm assuming extra help should come from the parents. If I needed help then I would turn to my mother. But my mother didn't work. Maybe if you have two parents who work full-time, having a tutor would be no different to having a nanny. Although the thought of having a nanny for my children would be pretty abhorrent too.
(reply to Biggles) posted 13-Jun-2005 6:47pm  
Tutors that specialize in specific difficulties (learning problems) or subjects are a little different than mom helping with homework.
Biggles Bronze Star Survey Creator This user is on the site NOW (4 minutes ago)
(reply to LindaH) posted 13-Jun-2005 6:53pm  
True, but parents who can afford to pay tutors are usually middle class and educated enough that they would be able to help with whatever the student was stuck with.
(reply to Biggles) posted 13-Jun-2005 6:56pm  
posted 13-Jun-2005 8:12pm  
I don't think punishment will make someone get better grades. If anything, you need to find out why your child is doing poorly in school. If it's because of a learning disabilty or because the child can't see or hear well, all the punishment in the world won't make the child get better grades. If the child was only getting bad grades on certain subjects such as math or English, they may have comprehension issues that they need help with such as tutoring.
posted 14-Jun-2005 1:10am  
Keel Hauling ... Public Flogging ... etc. (Places tongue firmly in cheek)
posted 14-Jun-2005 1:47pm  
No TV or internet for 2 weeks. Unless the internet is being used for school.
Come straight home from school. No talking on the phone to friends.

Ask the teacher to tutor the child after school.
posted 14-Jun-2005 2:30pm  
*Disclaimer*: I have no parenting experience, so take this with a grain of salt: I would think that grounding would be the most effiective. Freedom is the most important thing to a teenanger- Take that away and they'll be in a world of hurt.
(reply to mable03) posted 14-Jun-2005 3:48pm  
Mable, dude, I'm such a rebel! Lookin at disciplining or punishing a poor already-stressed-acne covered teen ager for somethin their brain is a bit wacked. It's not that I don't believe in disciplining, but I think if I were taking a test and I knew if I didn't get the Chris Columbus question right I'd be grounded for the week-end...then I would feel more pressured in an already crazy world. Make the kids wanna learn...not punishing them if they don't.
To me, punishing means you acted badly and their is a consequence for your behavior. But school work??
(reply to whizkid) posted 14-Jun-2005 5:33pm  
I agree! Punishment should be reserved for misbehavior, not underachievement.
posted 15-Jun-2005 2:01am  
There shouldnt be punishment for bad grades, i mean, bad grades arent always a thing that should be punishable. When I went to school I had problems concintrating when there were so many people in the room. I think the parents should look into why the child is getting bad grades and try to fix it, not punish them
posted 15-Jun-2005 9:51am  
A bucket of ice cold water.
posted 15-Jun-2005 11:15am  
whip them with the caine!
(reply to Matty) posted 15-Jun-2005 11:16am  
or just use the caine for fun!!
(reply to LindaH) posted 15-Jun-2005 1:40pm  
posted 16-Jun-2005 4:52pm  
The first order of business would be to get to the root of these bad grades. Then deal with that issue.
posted 17-Jun-2005 8:44am  
No going out during the week AT ALL, and enrollment in a program like a learning center or a tutor for the classes they are having trouble with. It does help. And if environmental or emotional factors are playing a part in causing the bad grades - I believe that counseling with a therapist can also do WORLDS of good. Strict discipline is not always the answer.
posted 20-Jun-2005 8:20pm  
heh...Not sure but what my parents do is say stuff like,"You can do better than that.." And then it pretty much ends there...I'm not complaining though...Oh,and my parents think that if I get a B or lower it's bad..and I'm uber lazy....and good at procrastinating. But I'm also really smart, I'm in all honors and a year ahead in math....But I really hate it when people say that if you get bad grades that's because you're stupid..which isn't true...You could just be me..or,like me(a few months ago)..I blew off my math homework..partially because I'm lazy and partially because I didn't understand it...So really it depends...
posted 26-Jun-2005 9:54pm  
No dating, No hanging out with friends at the mall, No keys to the car, No car. No cell phone.
Staying home after school.......wings cliped and grounded.
posted 28-Jun-2005 8:35pm  
learning center or tutoring
they Survey Central Subscriber Bronze Star Survey Creator
posted 21-Jul-2005 4:57am  
Guilt baby.
posted 24-Aug-2005 2:37pm  
You don't punish someone for bad grades. You investigate and find out the reason why.
posted 9-Sep-2005 4:15pm  
Cut off the distractions while they study combined with parental involvement in their school.
posted 13-Sep-2005 6:03am  
Send them to live with relatives with kids that turned out well. It worked on me when I was the teenager with bad grades.
posted 5-Oct-2005 12:27am  
Disciplining a teen for bad grades will not result in improvement. You need to find the underlying causes for the bad grades and eliminate them. There are countless reasons for someone to get bad grades.
posted 28-Oct-2005 9:45am  
Take away phone priveliges & possibly no activities for the weekend.
posted 8-Nov-2005 7:29pm  
take away their privileges
posted 29-Nov-2005 5:54pm  
New parents. Heheheh...
posted 25-Dec-2005 4:09pm  
hehe. well, since my oldest child is only 2 i can hardly speak from experience... but i would assume that taking away such things as allowance, videogames, etc would work. but then, my parents never disciplined me for bad grades.
posted 21-Jan-2006 4:16am  
Send them to Sylvan learning center or a tutor.
posted 26-Feb-2006 6:36pm  
I have to agree with the others on this. You don't punish a child because of bad grades, you try to find out if there is root problem such as a learning disorder.
posted 29-Mar-2006 8:06am  
The ruler spanky spanky
posted 5-Apr-2006 10:30am  
Deprive him/her from using family vehicle.
posted 11-Apr-2006 7:13pm  
Depends upon the reason for bad grades.......was it a lack of understanding the material, or was it just neglect of doing their homework, studying?. If it was due to not understanding, get them a tutor, if it was neglect of studying, homework...grounding, and/or depriving them of privileges.
posted 25-Apr-2006 11:35pm  
Active, constructive, helpful, insightful, patient, kind, supervision with homework.
posted 16-May-2006 3:16am  
I don't know.
posted 19-May-2006 2:56pm  
posted 8-Jun-2006 10:04pm  
Privileges taken away? I don't really know. I guess I'll find out if my son gets bad grades when he's a teenager.
posted 18-Jun-2006 6:26pm  
Kill 'em. laughing out loud
Who knows. Maybe you should have helped before the grades started to slip.
posted 14-Jul-2006 6:26pm  
None. I don't beleive in punishing someone because their grades are bad.
posted 17-Mar-2007 10:49pm  
Probably disallowing privileges and time away from home so that they can focus on their studies.
For failure to follow a study plan, punishment might be necessary.
posted 25-Feb-2008 2:15am  
take away privileges and less time with friends for study time . spanking if that doesn't do it.
posted 8-Jan-2009 2:17pm  
Discipline and a bit of humiliation with a bare bottom spanking for boys and girls under 12. Teenage boys should be spaked in private with all clothes removed and teenage girls with bare bottom only.
posted 1-Dec-2009 9:47pm  
Put him/her in diapers again that's what my parents did

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