I need a really effective gesture of apology. What do you recommend?

A little groveling never hurts!

admitting and really accepting responsibility for your behaviour is more than most people tend to do.

Kneel. Kiss his/her feet. Grab & hold those feet untill that person forgives you.

Your SO shouldn't need a gesture of apology. I'm sorry should be enough for anything...as long as you mean it and don't do it again.

Even though you won't tell us what you did, if its bad enough, like, cheating on your SO, you oughta apologise, then hang your head in shame and leave.
Otherwise, buy them something nice, take them out for a romantic evening, etc.
Another option is the art of letter-writing. Handwritten letters can say much more than words.

I have to abstain to see if you are a guy or girl. Gender is a sore matter in this.

Anonymous. Well, nice and androgynous.
I've never had to apologize to a guy (and frankly, I wouldn't want to be with any guy I had to apologize to)

If it's a woman, flowers, groveling (Zang has the idea)--and don't for one minute remind her of any bad things she's done. You know how it goes: You show up, say you're sorry, and she's unrelenting. You get a little pissed off--after all, what else can you do?--and say something like "You're not perfect. Remember when you did this or that..." That's the wrong way to go, BELIEVE me. The other strict no-no is blaming her for a tiny part of what you've done. That's enough to send me over the edge. Like if you've been cheating on her (I can't guarantee that she'll forgive you, it really depends on the chick), and apologize--and she's crying her eyes out and not even listening to her--do not, I repeat, DO NOT say anything like "Well, if you had been more sexually generous blah blah blah"--that's the worst thing you can do. If you grovel right and patiently, she might come around, about 51% chance.

All you must do is continue being the greatest person in his life and don't screw up and that should be enough. Al the little things you might do that he complains about, don't do them now. You don't have to cry, beg, just be the best and nicest person you've ever been to him in his eyes, and he will have no other choice but to have to accept you this way.

Just say sorry. Anything else is demonstration. In your explanation you seem to imply that sorry isn't good enough. Saying sorry (as long as you mean it) and asking forgiveness is the *only* real way to apologise.

But you have to mean it.

If you ask for forgiveness expecting to be given it, that is not asking for forgiveness. You can only be forgiven if you accept that what you did requires forgiveness and understand that it may not be granted. Only when you can accept refusal, understand it and not be angry are you ready to say sorry.

And in that case, sorry is all that you need.

And if you are refused? Accept the refusal - give your SO that much respect. And stay sorry.

Write the person a letter of apology, and explain the reasons for your actions, and that you are really sorry. Be sure to tell them how much you care for them and need their forgiveness. Good luck.

Way to go Biggles. Good answer.

If there's something specific you can do to correct the situation, then do it. Otherwise, all you can do is apologize and give your SO some space to get over it. Groveling to make yourself feel better isn't the point. You get to suck up and deal until your SO decides to forgive you and you can move on with your relationship.

Apologise. If what you have done is really so bad, it's up to your SO to forgive you and nothing you can do can make them forgive you, except a sincere apology.

Why not sing this: http://www.eltonography.com/songs/sorry_seems_to_be_the_hardest_word.html

If you can't talk it out - then write it and ask for a reply. This way, what needs to be said can be and without interruptions too!

Where do you get such insight? Where you born that way? I wish that the majority of people would have half as much on the ball as you do!

Say you're sorry and mean it


then by them stuff

My friend Tammad used to say that an apology has three elements:

1. A statement of what one did that was wrong
2. A statement of regret of the wrongdoing
3. A promise involving (a) what one will do to insure it doesn't happen again, (b) how one will make amends.

Here are some additional ideas:

Going down on your knees and making a humble apology
Taking them out to an expensive dinner
Letting them spank you, long and hard
If there is a way to reverse the damage, do it
Confessing publically to what you did, if you wronged your SO in front of others

Do whatever it takes to ensure that you don't screw up the same way again. Apologising alone is meaningless - anyone can say "sorry" - and doing some kind of penance is pointless as it isn't doing anything to make it up to the other person. The most important thing you can do to show that you're really sorry is to change yourself so that it doesn't happen again.

Do Britney you SOB!!!!!!!!!!!

Perform whichever sexual favours your SO likes the most, for as long as they like until they forgive you. And then listen to Britney til your ears bleed, just to really prove how sincere you are.

*shrugs* D something really really really really really nice for him/her.

I've had 29 years of "I'm sorry,I won't do/say that again"I got tired of that,now I demand to be cooked for.
When David mess up,(& he does it alot)he knows the way to MY heart,is through my stomach.He usually makes me a lumberjack breakfast or a spaghetti dinner complete with hot buttered garlic bread & sometimes garlic/butter scampi/MMMMMMmmmmm.
He usually serves it to me,then leaves the area quickly,until he hears the scrapping of the plate.He knows it's safe to talk to me after I've been fed..He usually ends up apologizing,to me only after I've eaten.

Flowers & movies mean nothing to me.It has to be food.

That is exactly how David was,when we was younger.He graveled a lot,only because he kept sticking his foot in his mouth.You would think that he would know better,than repeat the same mistakes over & over & over again.........nope he didn't.I don't even read his notes anymore cause,I already know what hes gonna say.

have a discussion about the situation and why you did or reacted how you did............... and why it won't happen again!

It depends on what you did.

Has he ever done anything really bad?

Toooooooo many to mention,but heres jusssst a few.

Stuff like,holding a loaded colt 45 python gun to my head,thinking it was empty,pulling the trigger & narrowly killing me.

Stuff like,shooting a colt 45 python,into a box of magazines & the bullet,ends up narrowly killing,a woman in the next building,who was ironing.

Stuff like,pointing a gun at an armed police officer & why we're still alive,after that incident,is beyond me.

Stuff like,him deciding to take a pontoon load of people,to cross the Catalina channel,at dusk with heavy surf.

Stuff like,wanting to cross a train gate,while down,& just seconds after suggesting that,you hear the ling,ling,ling,ling,ling,ling,of the AM TRACK Train whistling past our car.>

Oh,just your everyday,average stupid stuff like that.One thing for sure,there was never a dull moment,when we were together.........that's for sure!!!!
He's a male Sagittarius/Snake,what can I say???The man is an adventurous risk taker.Is your man AS adventurous as my man??Please say no.

No, and he's scared crapless of guns, too.

Thank God for that.I think it's safe to say,I've
lead a pretty interesting life so far.** as she bites
off another finger-nail**I'm SOOOOOOO glad that he's
mellowed over the years.Wheeeew!If we still did the
things,that we used to do,in our 20's & 30's NOW,one of
us or both of us,would be either dead,or serving time,in a prison.That's where most of our so call
friends are now.
dead or in prison.

Gifts, gifts, and major vacations

Are you a man or woman?

   I can tell what would work for me if my SO had been baaaad. Just an apologize and a hug. A long hug. If I'm still hurt, then she should cut out some time and devote it completely to me, just spend it with me, without interruptions. "Some" can be up to a few days, depending on how bad it is. Right now I can't think of something that couldn't be mended that way.

"I love you cold unfeeling robot arm"

cut off a pinkie finger, gift wrap it and give to the SO

All of the above. If all else fails, brown-nosing seems to work.

Been in your shoes...so to speak...what I was told is sorry dont cut it, so you are right on that part...It is called...."Show."....Dont do it again. Actions speak louder then words.I never knew how true this was until it was to late. Now I fight with my self everyday to try and think of ways to show I wont do it again.....Nothing is working. So the best thing to do is to show how true you are to your WORD SORRY and dont do it again...Whatever it may be...Good Luck to you and sorry I cant be of better help. If you have another chance to do this, then better make the best of it, because you might not get another chance...