After your honeymoon, while going through your wedding gifts, you find a card and in it are pictures of your new spouse in a drunken state having sex with the stripper at the bachelor/ette party. What would you do?

Is an annullment an option?

I wouldn't have to worry about it. My so and I have an understanding.
I trust him very much.

jeez, what a lot of negative reactions. I probably already knew about it. If the stripper was cute I'd probably jerk off looking at the photo of them.

Confront, forgive and forget if you feel that you really love this person and you want to spend the rest of your life with him. And comfort yourself with the thought that if you ever want to have something on the side, you won't feel so guilty.

If it happens again, though, he/she is out of the picture, no small print.

That is a really creepy person for sending the pictures.

Good survey.

Let me guess, judging from the answers the survey creator has lept to the assumption that this would be a bad thing.

I don't know how I would react in regards to the infidelity. However I do know that I would be much more upset at the person who sent the photos in the first place.

I would laugh my ass off. My wife's bachelorette party, some years back, was enlivened by two male strippers dressed as Marilyn Manson and Twiggy. I came home the next day and these crazy chicks wrecked the place. The monday after they dressed up again and escorted her to the courthouse for us to get our certificate, on a dreary monday morning. We drew in quite a spectator crowd; with those two guys dressed in suspenders, and with the characteristic sociopathic make-up. If my wife would have played with these two, I would have demanded a foursome at once. I don't mind her fooling around; would be healthy for her. For those who are interested; Here's the mrs: http://home.wanadoo.nl/serendipity/thyrza.html

I would go off! And the person who sent me the picture better hope to hell I never find out who they are.

I would talk to my spouse about it. I would probably be forgiving.

Why is it assumed that there could only be negative responses to such an event?

I would find the whole thing amusing and titillating, and go through the pictures with my beloved and ask for all the juicy details.

If the stripper was cute, maybe I'd have my SO call 'em up and see if they wanted to do a threesome

Oh, did I mention we're polyamorous?

I really cannot imagine my husband doing that.

All of these options suggest an outraged or unhappy initial response. I would be TURNED ON!

I would confront her, divorce her and get even.

Volgens mij is het wel een schatje, ondanks haar dreigende uiterlijk!

I would like to think I could talk it out and be forgiving.

I would for sure cry, probably scream, then calm down and talk to him.....since my husband doesn't really drink and didn't have a huge drunken bachelor party - I am relieved that this could never have happened to me, but I believe in forgivness.

I would laugh and bring it to him, then we would laugh some more together.

Maybe, maybe not !

Okay no probelm..was his bachelor party,wasn't that? He didn't love her,he'll stay with me and as long as he don't cheat if he screws other women I don't care.Or maybe I'd do,but hell not on his bachelor night..poor boy...
Physical treason doesn't bother me at all.
but that's theory since I'm not married and haven't had an experience....but that's how I would act.Laugh about it,ask him is she was good in bed...joking...little teasing..and assuring that she is very very far
and for the jerk sending the card..if I marry would be after a careful choice,don't think the kind of relationship I want with my husband would be destroyed by something so silly.Love is stronger than that.My kind of love is

hhhmmm, i don't know what i would do.....definitely confront the person but then after that it would be up for grabs. no violence would occur and i wouldn't go after the stripper. whether to leave the person or not would depend on what came of the discussion.

DIVORCE!!!

It would depend on how drunk she was. If she was really so out of it that she was just on auto-pilot and had no ability to say either yes or no, then I don't think I'd be too bothered. In fact, I'd probably find it quite funny, especially as she would probably be horrendously embarrassed to know that I knew!

On the other hand, if I thought it might have been pre-meditated or a deliberate choice, then I probably would be upset about it. What I'd do, though, I can't say as I've never been in this situation.

I would talk to them, and probably and up splitting up. Then, I would cry for days and send back all the gifts, maybe with the pictures.

Wanneer gaat ze me nou uithoren over Ierland?

I'd probably do all sorts of crazy crap. Though, because it is crazy, it is also unpredictable. Though, there are some definate possibilities... I won't bother to list them. There wouldn't be limits to my behavior.

It's different for guys.. sociologically... the whole "Question of paternity" issue which makes it a damn bad idea (evolutionarily) to raise another man's child without knowing it... (which women who have cheating men don't really have to worry about)... To unknowingly be with a woman who has slutted around (and then find out) is... well... it's about the worst emotional trauma a male of our species can experience. More so than anything else in life. It has been said that the most influential emotional-psychological issue in most people's lives will be "seperation anxiety," but, for men, I think that finding out a girl is cheating on you (which translates, evolutionarily to "finding out you might be raising someone elses child"), is the worst possible event.

Chicks, from an evolutionary perspective, don't need to worry if a man is with other women, unless he intends to raise any children had by those women.

Probably why men can have mistresses without it being too scandalous, throughout history. Because he doesn't take anything away from the children of his wife if a child is born by the mistress...

And I hate to be a dick...but...

The people who said "I would laugh about it" aren't psychologically healthy.

I think my initial reaction would be: "What kind of butt-hole would send me a card like that?" I would be VERY angry. I would be angry at the person who sent the card. I would be angry at my wife. I would probably have a major crap fit. I would destroy everything in my path: wedding presents, anything that wasn't nailed down, pry up a few things that were and destroy them...

I am constantly amused at attempts to reduce complex human emotions to evolutionary biology. Even the EB professionals believe that there are a lot more complex motivations for modern homo-sapiens than they can account for.

As for violence or anger being a more healthy reaction to a potentially awkward, stressful, or threatening situation than laughter... ? I have to disagree with you on that one, too. Anyway, there are many human cultures in which polyamorous relationships are the norm and considered quite healthy- there is no scientific basis for a belief that monogamy is more healthy or natural than non-monogamy (to be fair, neither is there any evidence to the contrary or that the alternatives are any better).

I'd mention it, but honestly I wouldn't care. As long are they didn't call me that strippers name in bed.

This would not have happened since my husband thinks bachelor parties are the most stupid thing invented.

If it did happen, I'd talk to my partner about it and find out the story.

Fact: Laughing in a potentially awkward, stressful, or threatening situation is abnormal, atypical, and characteristic of someone who is mentally disturbed.

Now, lets talk about this a little more here.

Men and women are different. Seriously. Who would-a thought?

Women, in nature, play the part of "I won't give it up until I find the one I really want because I have to put 9 months and probably another 15 years into it and he only has to put 10 minutes into it."

They are supposed to anyways. If they aren't, then they are "sluts" and are unhealthy psychologically. (Sorry, it's true. Evolution tells women to "Not fudge someone who isn't going to stay with you and raise the kid unless you can convince your current partner that it is his.") Thats why women feel so guilty after the first few times they have meaningless sex. Don't lie, you all remember. I've watched plenty of girls cry because either 1) They thought they wanted it and someone went ahead and gave it to them. or 2) Someone wanted it and it was taken without asking.

Of course, in an amazing display of God-Like Wisdom, evolution has made crying, guilty feeling women reeeeeeaaaaaalllllllyyyyyyy "Cute" to men, (where cute is an emotion that makes me want to stay, and "Hot" is an emotion that makes me want to pound in and out of.), to try and CREATE a relationship (the definition of a "relationship" by evolution is-- a nice environment under which to raise the kids). Hence the emotional attachment that even men get after sex. Well, the first few times, anyways. Guys, don't lie. When you see a girl crying, even if you "don't care about her" you feel bad and want to hold her. You should.

Now, men, in nature, play the part of "Deep down I wouldn't mind settling in with a woman for good and raising a baby or 5 with her."
Listen to a country song or two, you'll understand. On the flipside, if a woman comes along in the mean time who wants me to impregnate her, why the hell not? It'll only take 10 minutes, I get to spread my genes, and I don't have much to lose.

If he is playing a different part, he is psychologically unhealthy. If he is in a serious relationship with multiple women... there's a problem. If he isn't seeking a LTR by his late 20's, there's a problem. You see?

Now, sure, there are many methods of passing genes down. but the standard, healthy, one is...
Man and Woman get married and have babies.

Evolution has accounted for some other possibilities that come up a lot--

Woman believes herself to be not attractive enough for a relationship and sleeps with multiple men hoping to have a child by one of them, and take her chances raising the child either 1) On her own. or 2) With some loser whom she can convince is the father of the child.

And the age old
Man pretends to be a long term mate then leaves. Uses this process to have sex with as many women as he can.

And then we all know and love
Man runs around raping as many women as he can until one of their fathers or boyfriends kills him. (Thats why most rapists are serial rapists. And yes, it is about sex.)

(Yawns). Thats all I've got-to say about that.

Congratulations Zang, you've done the only thing any sane man could do in that situation! Lets start a club!

"Fact: Laughing in a potentially awkward, stressful, or threatening situation is abnormal, atypical, and characteristic of someone who is mentally disturbed."

Fact: Laughing in a potentially awkward, stressful, or threatening situation is a stress-reliever. Laughing isn't always about humor, it can be a potent coping mechanism.

Your fact is quite accurate as well. A keen observation. Definately rings true in my experience.

But, it isn't in contradiction to my own, now is it?

Nope. I can't imagine why anyone would laugh upon seeing the pictures in question.
"Oh, look, pictures of my new spouse banging a stripper the night before we got married! Ha ha ha."

Very, Very well said!!!

I'd just walk away.

Give up - go home - I respect myself too much to put up a fight.

I would seriously discuss our relationship with my spouse. I sure wouldn't feel too good about that.