Which things do you think you'll never understand about the opposite sex?

wees.

What's going on in their pretty little heads. I don't think I want to.

Uh...good answer!

I think the idea that you can't understand the opposite sex is mostly put forth by people who are upset because other people don't act the way they want them to.

Women don't understand men, men don't understand women; men don't understand men, women don't understand women. Nothing is totally figured out in this world.

How in the middle of a normal, nonsexual conversation, a guy suddenly wants to have sex. It's like, "Weren't you talking with me just now, or were you just daydreaming about fudging the whole time???"

Why do guys spit?

well not all guys like the taste of cum...

LOL LOL LOL

Oh my God!! I was eating a cracker when I read your comment and I nearly choked!!

Their mood swings!!

yay! - no wait that's not good - yay!

The way they think.

Why they get paid more than women for doing equal work.

There's nothing not to understand about men.
They want sex. That's not very confusing.

I guess I can understand everything.You know I'm a writer and I have to understand every point for creating believable characters.I cannot build just female characters,you know! I *hope* I understand the opposite sex,at least!

Many things, although not all of them are applicable to all women, and some of them are also applicable to some men. But then hey, what do I know? I'm just a sex-obsessed male.

Why don't they make difference between Revlon and Clinique.

How they can be so strong understanding funny nice bright hungry afraid to dance sure they're gentlemen cheerful

You're so cute.

I shall never understand the opposite sex!

I dont think there is anything to understand about men.It cant be done.

You must be married...

Which is why I spend more time with my dog than with my wife.
Ahhh...may be I should rephrase that...

What you perceive as non-sexual behavior on your part maybe not be the way you are perceived by others...

I once was talking to a woman who was totally unaware that she kept tugging at her tube top while speaking. I know she was unaware of her behavior and its affect on me. But it had an affect on me. Men are very affected by visual stimulation.

Another time a woman was chatting to me and eating buffalo wings at the same time. Okay, but she kept licking her fingers and making a "mmmm" sound. Again I know she was unaware of her behavior and its affect on me. But it had an affect on me.

You may be very surprised at the body language you are unintentionally giving.

Also you are possibly under-estimating your charm...

in a sense... I'm gay and I don't tend to "want" women to behave the way most straight guys seem to want them to behave. I find that goes a long way towards help individuals' actions be comprehensible.

We be idiots as well...

So...ahh...when can I pencil you in...so to speak?

And damn proud of it!
Now if you will excuse me, my sheep is bleating...

Being gay does not prohibit you from "being married", either actually in some areas of the world or, more importantly, in a sense of commitment to your SO. He still may be beyond your comprehension. SO's of either sex are frustrating at times.

yeah I understand the marriage thing... unfortunately New Hampshire doesn't allow me to formally marry my partner.

My point is that I think people are a lot more understandable when you don't put a lot of expectations on them and then have a problem with them failing to do what you wanted. I think that most of the "men and women can't understand one another" thing is just bullcrap.

What's there to understand?

Some be...

Why guys have sex on their minds 24/7. Is it just that they find our bodies that interesting or is it that they have sick minds?

Why aren't you as clean as us?
Why don't you worry about your weight as much.

There are more, but I don't have the time.

EESN
(everyone else said nothing)

nothing. certain personality archetypes might take some time to comprehend though.

I don't think they're that different to my sex.

my sentiments exactly!

Thank you! Hare Krishna!

Aw shucks! *goes all coy*

*wants to know what Zang is like while being coy very very much*

Why they won't fudging ask for directions.

I'm jobless and the calender is open!

So much for you being a pedophile (I think that's what you were called on the "Post an anonymous statement" survey I just answered)!
Congratulations!

That must be it. I'm just so damn cute all they can do is think of me in the sack. LOL

You know, for some reason, I thought you were a female. But now I am beginning to think you are male. ???
A lot of folks think I am male because of the spider thing. Hey, chics can dig spiders too!

LOL

Geez, you mean other girls don't do that, thinking-about-sex-in-the-middle-of-a-conversation-thing too? I'm female, and I do it all the time- I'm having a conversation with someone (male or female) and suddenly I realize I haven't heard the last thing they said because, in my mind, we were fudging.

I do that at work all the time....Just the other day this man was at the counter paying for his purchases and I started going down on him in my mind while he was asking questions about dog toys. I am soooooooooo lame! Don't tell my Boss!

Only if they are especially lickable.
Lickable is a term I have created... you see I hate melted ice cream more than anything in the world, it is gross, plus I'm lactose intolerant.. but if a person is so damn attractive that I would lick melted ice cream of their body...
A lickable person might distract me into thinking about sex, but otherwise no- I just follow the conversation.

Of course I am male, didn't you know that?

dog toys do it for you, eh?

?

??? *looks a little disappointed*

I think I understand the opposite sex pretty well actually. Nothing really confuses me.

You still in London, mate?

Nope. I'm back in Canada.

woof!

No, I guess not (I wasn't really sure.) I think it was the y ending in your name. For some reason I associate that with female.
My bad!

Sorry, you kind of caught me off guard. It isn't something I can really convey in words...it seems a bit silly for me to even attempt it.

I don't need to. I have a map!

Hey, missy, I keep meaning to tell you that I've been doing the brown sugar/lemon scrub, and it rocks!
Now I have a tip for you:
Raw, unpasturized honey (commerical pasturized honey is ineffective) is a great astringent and moisturizer. I apply it and leave it on for awhile after I sugar up my face.
Thanks for the tip, if you have anymore, don't be shy!
Oh, I have another one, but it's for oily skin. Milk of Magnesia is a good oil-absorber and pore tightener. Just put it on like a mask, let it dry, and wash it off. The Philosophy cosmetic company makes a mask that sells for something like 20 bucks, and it's just milk of magnesia. You can get a generic brand bottle for less than two dollars.

You put honey all over your face? Isn't that awfully sticky?? Ahhhhhhhh!!!! *runs screaming from the room*

It washes off very easy with plain water, swear on it.
Now egg yolk, which is also very good for the skin, is a dog to get off. It's just as hard to get dried yolk off the skin as it is from a plate that you let sit too long after breakfast. For that, you have to do it in the shower and use an abrasive washcloth. But it's worth the glowing skin!
I'm the Martha Stewart of "kitchen beauty."

Okay, Martha. I just have this aversion to being sticky. It's okay for you, as long as you don't come near me while the honey is all dripping down your neck. Aghhhhhhhhhh!!

Right, like you wouldn't like that.

Well, in certain situations it might be kinda fun.

And good for the complexion when it's all over!
That's your classic win-win situation.

Haven't you seen my photos?

*rubs belly and scratches tail-bone* Good girl.

*shrugs*

Nope!

Aha! I've unmasked you! Real men don't need maps! You're a fake man!

VERY GOOD QUESTION. I've thought long and hard but I can't get my fingers to type the million things going through my head right now.

really good answer

No sweat...or perspiration...or shine.

You just occasionally crack me up, so I did wonder at your further capacities...

Cool. I wonder if they sell it here.

Okay, you know those times when your skin looks incredibly blah? Tired and oily in places...put a Granny Smith apple (peel and all, but wash it first) in a blender and then slosh it all over your face.
Cucumber is even more effective, but I giggle too much whenever I do it...

In my opinion, real men don't give a rat's ass what other people think constitutes a real man. But hey that's just me, a fake man apparently...

There's only so much that can be conveyed via the existing technology.

*humps your leg...panting*

Thank god for rubber pants.

I'd like to rub her pants......

Thx

All over? Hmm...sticky, but fun!

How to Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3. Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain and whine about getting fat.
4. Get in shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
6. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
7. Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's all come off.
11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
12. Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country.
15. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
16. Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails/tweezers (if you can find them).
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
18. If husband seen, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend hour and a half getting dressed.


How to Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her while shouting "Wa-hey!!"
3. Look in mirror and suck in gut to see your manly physique.
4. Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch bollocks and smell fingers for one last whiff.
5. Get in shower.
6. Don't bother to look for a flannel or wash cloth because you don't need one.
7. Wash face.
8. Wash armpits.
9. Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower.
10. Wash bollocks and the surrounding area.
11. Wash arse, leaving hair on soap.
12. Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner.
13. Make Mohican hairstyle with shampoo. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.
14. Piss in shower.
15. Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole shower time.
16. Partially dry off.
17. Look at self in mirror, flex muscles and admire size of knob again.
18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.
19. Leave bathroom light and fan on.
20. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, grab knob, go "Yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her.
21. Put on yesterday's clothes.

lol lol lol lol lol

Oh dear, that's the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Thankyou!

LOL Hilarious!

Duly noted!

I know...

down, down.. not around company.

Well done!

This joke occurred to me that I think conveys something about men that most women would find somewhat mysterious. I was going to tell it, and then I remembered that I had already told it here:

http://surveycentral.org/survey/8485.html

Why do they wear neckties-can someone answer that one?

It was all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing-especially at the "man taking a shower" segment. Sadly, I was at the public library and had to show some self control.

Why do men have nipples.They serve no future purpose.But then again that's a God thing.

Why is it that what is good for the goose is not usually good for the gander? Then agian that's geese.............

Yeah,what is up with the neck tie thing??????

oh I think men's nipples serve a purpose... just not for nursing babies...

lol lol lol okay point taken.

What about the tie thing? ** scratching her head**

I don't get ties either.