If you knew you could only have one child, what sex would you want it to be?

I can only have one child.....

Surprise me.

Ouch! I have both and I can't pick... I wanted both and I got both!
Ha!

I don't care.

I'd prefer a girl,but either child is still a blessing.I may sound biases,only because I come from a family of predominately female gender.10-2

I don't want any children (and I don't have any).

No preference.

Either is fine with me. I just hope it's healthy.

No preference, despite part of me feeling obligated to have a son (as I'm the only male family member of my generation, there's a certain pressure about carrying on the family name).

I don't have a preference and I don't want kids.

I don't have a preference and anyone who does is kind of retarded because I child is precious and valuable regardless of what sex it is.

I haven't got a preference.

If I have a kid sometime, I want it to be a little boy. His name will be Christopher. He'll have dark hair and my green eyes. He'll love to read and play baseball. He'll be very intelligent and sensitive.
Doesn't that sound absolutely great?

That's a cruel thing to say. People who would prefer to have a little girl, for example, are not necessarily prejudiced against little boys. And take this into consideration: people adopt more boys than girls. If a couple decides to take in a girl because so many of them are left without families, are they being retarded?

No, that does not sound absolutely great. The best gift you can give your child is to accept them as they are, not expect them to fill your selfish expectations of them. What happens when your child is born with brown eyes? Or mentally slow?

Get a life. It's obvious that I'll love whatever God thinks best to give me. That was just a perception of what my child could be.

I was more so assuming that they'd pick a boy over a girl since boys are generally valued more than girls...

I've talked to women who thought they would rather have a little boy because it was so hard for them growing up as a girl and they wanted to spare their child all that pain, and men who thought they would rather have a little girl because it was so difficult for them, growing up as a little boy. Also I've talked to people who wanted a baby of their same sex because they weren't sure they could understand what a little one of the opposite sex was going through and thought they would be a better parent to a same-sex child. Before you judge someone for their desires and dreams, it's best to try to understand *why* they want what they want.

I don't know if I'd agree with the wanting a certain gender just cause you don't understand the other gender...what a lame excuse...all the more reason to have one so you LEARN to understand them...geez. And just for anyone else who wants to say how I shouldn't judge people for their dreams and desires...I was mainly thinking about people in China who can only have 1 child and decide to kill and abandon millions of little girls just to have a boy and carry on their freaking family name. And since we're talking about judging people desires and dreams...I'm sure there's lots of same sex couples who want children, but people still judge them and say they shouldn't have children, but I guess that's okay right?

I don't necessarily agree with either of the reasons I stated. I listed them because you had said "anyone who does [prefer a certain sex child] is kind of retarded because I [sic] child is precious and valuable regardless of what sex it is." I was using these examples to point out that it's not true that "anyone" who wants a child of a particular sex is doing it because they value the other sex less. Sometimes they wish it out of an urge to be the most caring and compassionate parent they can be. You or I may think that a parent would hopefully be able to be equally as good a parent to a child of either sex, but being concerned about one's potential limitations in parenting skills does not make one "retarded."

If you were, specifically, thinking of people in China (and elsewhere) who prefer to have boys to carry on their names, then why go making blanket statements that "anyone" who had a preference was "retarded?" If what you mean is: "Anyone who would value a boy child over a girl child, just to carry on their name, is retarded," then say that, and you won't sound so "retarded" yourself for making assumptions about other people's motives.

And, finally, what on the surface of this beautiful green Earth, made you even *imagine* that I would think it was "okay" to judge same sex couples who want to have children?!?! What a horrible thing to assume about a person whom you do not know- that they are a homophobic bigot.

I'll take whatever God gives me. Just be grateful you even get one. Some people can't even have that many.

I'm sorry. I will watch my choice of words more carefully next time. And I wasn't directing the same sex comment towards you...I was merely stating that those dreams and desires are judged.

I hate kids and can't contemplate having either sex.

Given a choice, would you prefer loving kids and having them or hating them and not having them.

That's like saying, would you prefer loving self mutilation and doing it or hating self mutilation and not doing it. If I loved kids, I wouldn't mind them and if I found a partner I was prepared to live with for ever I would probably have them. As it is, I can't stand kids. When I say I hate them, it's not to be cruel. I avoid kids at all costs, but I would help a child in need. I really don't want kids however, and have no regrets not having them. I am 32 now, and already feel I am too old to father a child, but I don't mind that. I have never seen myself as a parent, even as a child I sort of knew I would never have children of my own. It's hard to explain such feeling to people who have kids or love to be around kids.

Ok, then answer that.. "would you prefer loving self mutilation and doing it or hating self mutilation and not doing it?" {presume the self-mutilation is at a perpetually sustainable level}
I find children irritable myself when I am working on anything of my own; it is only when I can surrender my own plans and fully immerse myself in their realm that I have a wonderful time with them. Much of reality is like this in my experience.

Loving self mutilation and doing it is still self destructive. It's like alcoholism. Loving alcohol does not change the fact that it's bad for us. Hating to be around kids and deciding to not have any is not self destructive. In fact for some people it may be easier on the psyche to avoid children.

Are you just being difficult, or is the armor that thick? Rephrasing, one more time.. "Would you rather have a life you love, or not?"
We are no talking 'about' something, but rather this 'IS' something.
Do you like animals?
Again, at 32 you have become too old? I know of 65 year old men who go on wilderness backpacking trips and date 20 year olds. I hope to have that vigor myself at their age. I suspect that if you did have kids you would get into their lives, and life in general much more than you can now imagine, especially with teen-age boys.

I do feel old sometimes, not physically. I love my garden, and that's about all. People bore me quickly, that's why I fudge with them. I feel so jaded it's not funny. I haven't got a single laugh line yet because although I have a good sense of humour, I find it difficult to find anything really funny to have a good laugh at. I laugh on the inside as I watch people try to comprehend what I'm doing to them.

Yes, I would rather have a life I love, but on a scale of 1 to 10, if I am at 5, and any changes in my life will only result in a drop to 3 or 4, then I'm happy with a 5.

Last night i watched a video that for me bore a fascinating similarity to what we just went through. It's called 'Holy Smoke' starring Kate Winslet and Harvey Keitel.
I love gardens too. Perhaps you should take up marble sculpting.

Male, I think, but I'm sure I wouldn't get a choice.

you may want to call him Christopher, but believe me, you may have some convincing to do as far as the father goes. Men never seem to like the names we women picked out when we were 10.

I know! But it's a double standard; when women want to name their girls a simple, good name like Jane or Ruth, the guys want Priscilla or Kaitlin.

It's not a double standard. It's a matter of opinion.

Me, who won't try anything unless I'm certain I will succeed briliantly, take up marble sculpting? Hmmmm, don't think so!

I was pissed. I was geting at using 7' foot slabs and learning to carve names and dates.

pissed as in drunk? I can't remember the movie except it took place in a stereotypical Australian setting and the girl from Titanic pissed herself.

I was pissed (american for angry) that you would resign your life to living at a 5 when offered more.
The movie was about a battle of wills between a india cult-convert and a professional cult-exiter. Their conversation had much in common with ours as of late.

I don't believe in '10'

Perhaps not, but you believe in more than you have planned for yourself.

Maybe 5.25 I'm happy right now though, I've finished my study for this semester

What are you studying again?

Environmetal science. I had to endure environmental sociology this semester. My lecturer told me to lighten up and said that changing my attitude a little would not make me a "lefty".

Good for him. Drop the labels. There are no pure lefties or righties anyhow. You shouldn't want a label. Just believe in what works, it's a mixed bag. You might disdain existing green politics, but the fact remains, some global ecology management is required. People don't call me anything, but what should I care if they did? As you might have noticed, the terms often have opposite associations between continents anyhow. Just look at the 'what's and 'why's people have. I think you have a tinge of bitterness when faced with failed idealism.
I'm quite glad you're studying environmental science. Your knack for identifying failures may help you identify and administrate practical solutions. Someday you might feel you're in a 'winning' battle.

True, some global ecology management is required, but todays green groups have missed the point. While species are being destroyed in Indonesia, Bornio and Brazil, the greens are protesting againts carbon dioxide! If the loggers wanted to come up with a global distraction they couldn't have done any better than the global warming hoax. It's true that there are some things I agree with right across the political spectrum, but if it was possible to grade each policy along a scale from extreme left to extreme right, you could find an 'average' rating. Some people then would indeed be 'lefties'. You have to agree that sociology is very 'lefty' if you take an aggregate of the beliefs of sociologists and average them along a left-right scale. I think everyone likes clean air and water, but the fact is that humans will have some impact. The trick is, to reduce the impact as much as possible without reducing us to living like cave-men. It's true that I am bitter when it comes to idealiam. I have been told I am an idealist, and I admit I get crapty when people act with their heads and not with their heads.

female, I think we would get along better if it was female to

If you weren't naturally an idealist, others failed idealism wouldn't annoy you so much.Your response is useful when you don't shroud your complete your understanding in over-reaction.

Sorry, I meant to say I hate people who think with their hearts and not their heads. I like over-reaction because it forces others to really stand up and fight for what they believe. >

have you noticed how black and white I can get in arguments sometimes?

Yes. I thought you were just countering my strategy with equal stubborness. I have been known to take up an argument with a view I don't really agree with if I'm bored or want to piss someone off. The strange thing is, I am usually able to find enough material to defend a position I really don't agree with. I guess you can prove anything if you leave the things out that don't add up.

True enough, but it's more like you can win a proof, not internally convince them. To do that usually involves taking their stance instead with your own material attached beneath. People will not adopt that which they are opposed to. Expanding their knowledge of 'their own' view works much better.
The adamant black and white does help when you wish to clarify just what the other end of the rainbow is.
You might enjoy one of my amusements: identifying the original view of an argumentive person, then shifting your argument against them until you have them arguing against their original position.

I'm queer. The family line ends here. That's it.

Would you have children if you could?

No. I can't imagine I would make a great Father.

Why not?

Are you bunking off school again?
I guess I feel that although I'm 30 I've still got a lot of growing up to do. My father made a lot of mistakes because of his immaturity. I'd hate to load all my baggage off on some kid. Its a big responsibility.

Um, kind of. I've been throwing up all week so I haven't been. I have 3 hours worth of travelling to do each school day and I can't do that long on buses with my stomach in the state it's in

My mum reckons people never feel mature - she says she's still waiting for the day when she feels like an adult. And she's nearly 50! But it's good to not have kids if you aren't sure

I think I've said this last week but get better. Are you sure its not something more serious. A week is a long time.

It's winter and I always get ill over winter. I come down with one thing then before I recover I'm down with something else. I've only been feeling sick since Sunday, before that it was bad period pains It's all connected - I'm always ill after a period. I should be fine in a few days. (I'm not anaemic before you suggset it!)