Which is worse, being dumped or having to dump someone?

"Having" to dump someone...for the same reasons that lisashea listed.

Being dumped hurts more for a shorter time (hopefully). Dumping someone hurts somewhat less for much MUCH longer. Both suck.

I handle rejection easily. I don't handle other people's reactions very well. But I'm married and this doesn't really apply to me anymore.

I've never been cleanly dumped (only sort of ignored to the point of - "oh I get it"), but I suspect I would be able to handle a clean dump better than having to dump someone (which I've had more experience with) and it was always harsh. I hate having to say things as ugly as "I don't really like you anymore" to someone. I can barely tell someone that I don't like something they are doing.

Same arguments as Jody, but reverse the sense. I can't imagine how bad it'd have to be for me to dump someone, but then it'd be over. Getting dumped though, that pain lasts for years (so far).

I only have experience with one, so that one is worse by default in my limited data set.

Being dumped, because it implies a level of "I didn't know this was coming". In every relationship I've been in, I've tried to maintain a solid line of communication, so we always know what's going on in each other's thoughts. I don't "dump", I get to the point where we *both* know it's not working and ask (sortof) "are we ready to call this quits" and get a yes or no. When my ex asked for a divorce, it wasn't this "Wow!!" it was more like "I guess we did come to that point." We both knew it was coming. In the one case where I was really "dumped" I kept telling my boyfriend, "If you have concerns, tell me", or "If you want to see someone else, tell me" and when we watched movies about people sneaking around we talked about why it was bad. So it was a real blow to find out he met this old college friend in Paris, had an affair, continued it for 6 months and was now going to "move to Vancouver" to be with her, all the while telling me, "I just think I want to be alone, and I've settled on Vancouver". I was completely shattered, that with what I thought was a great rapport he could STILL lie about something he KNEW I wouldn't have a problem with if he told the truth, but KNEW I would hate if he lied about! And all because HE was too uncomfortable to tell me and "deal with the results". ARRHGGGGHHHH. Sorry to vent :)

Daver: If I wasn't getting along with someone, I'd go down the "Can we fix this" and "can you meet me half way" until it got to the "We just can't meet in the middle". I've had to say that before and, well, I'd made it obvious at several steps that we were "heading this way" so it's never a surprise to the other person. I think talked-about things are less hard than "Poof I'm leaving" things, which I couldn't in good conscience do.

I don't know; I've never been dumped, as it turns out. Having to dump someone was certainly bad.

Depends on the situation. Being dumped by someone you weren't that into in the first place isn't so bad. Dumping someone you truly care about sucks big time. I think the best, though still painful, situation is a mutual decision to end the relationship.

having to dump someone is more difficult, but being dumped is more unpleasant; I'll pick the latter.

When I'm being dumped, being dumped is worse, and when I'm dumping someone, having to dump someone is worse.

Being dumped is pretty bad. Whats worse is when a guy dumps you and asks out your best friend the very next day.

Maybe it's because my parents or family or friends never showed much physical love and tried to avoid as much emotional love as possible that my heart is used to being broken. Also because I live in a military community all my close friends move away very quickly, so I make and tend to break relationships quickly. But knowing that not everyone has a strong heart like mine I hate hurting people by breaking up with them. Sometimes it is for the best but I still hate doing it.

Being dumped is something you can usually see coming (even if it's in hindsight) so you're prepared. I've never dumped anyone. I've been the one to leave the relationship but only after trying to talk to my SO about what problems I felt we had. They felt "we" had no problems....that if there was a problem it was "my" problem. If they didn't see the problem I don't imagine they saw the dumpage approaching either. oh well.

What gilly said. It's really hard to tell someone you care about that you'd be happier without them. And no, dumping someone is not over quickly. The self-doubt (that it was the right thing to do) never goes away.

You are asking if I'd rather be the dumper or the dumpee? Neither acutally, When you are dumped, you are still in control of your own happiness, but when you dump someone else, you are responsible for their unhappiness. I would rather cheer myself up than worry about someone else.

Having the other person think that he has "dumped" me is a huge relief. If he no longer wants to be with me, then I've noticed this (or known that I didn't like him) long before the actual "dumping".

One is a shock to you, especially if you have NO idea you're about to be dumped, and the other is just an angstful, anxiety inducing mess. Unless you're a heartless bastard, of course.

no general case. it depends on the relationship, and who you are at the time.

both are difficult ... in thinking about it, i guess i've ended more relationships than my partner in those relationships ... that include friendships, not just love affairs ... hmm, wonder what that says about me?

Dumping someone is worse because you stress over it in advance. You spend time planning the best way to dump the person and worry about how they will take it. Getting dumped is no fun either, but you don't have to think about it in advance. Plus people usually sympathize with the dumpee!

Taking a dump is the best :)

It's worse if you're a guy dumping a girl. If you're a girl dumping a guy, it's "See ya later." If you're a man dumping a girl, you have to plan a whole day. There'll be questions. Depositions. She'll call witnesses...

Ok, I stole that from a "Dr. Katz" episode... from a comedian who sounds vaguely like an under-control Bobcat Goldthwait. He was funny!

DR. KATZ RULES!!!

I always feel as though when I dump someone, I shouldn't leave them with nothing.

What do you mean by worse? Being dumped is more painful, but easier if you don't like causing people you care for pain (assuming the dumping is not because you suddenly hate the person).

they both suck

both suck, however dumping is worse. when i was dumped, it hurt, and then i was able to go about healing the pain.

When i dumped someone, i hurt them, which hurt me. unfortunately, having just dumped the person, i am in no position to make them feel better, so i just have to live with the pain of hurting someone i care for.