What is the best/most reliable way to kill a vampire?

Drive a Buffy through its heart.

Sunlight

Make him listen to Def Leppard while feeding him huge chunks of Velveeta cheese.

You gotta cut it's head off!

I LOVE this survey! We need more of these.

With the way I cook,it would have to be my bad cooking.

Ohhhhh,I love Velveeta cheese. Melt it in the Microwave oven for a couple minutes,then add a jar of medium hot Salsa (preferbly Pace) get some corn chips & put on a good movie & your ready to enjoy.Ummmm!Better than popcorn! Gotta go..........

A wooden stake through the heart.

sunlight, or a stake... silver bullets are for werewolves aren't they?

Hey, I heard that they were going to slop all those ingredients together and make it into one microwaveable thing. I wonder what they're going to call it?

You know,what I haven't been keeping up with the latest food products.I think I had better pay more attention & check that out the next time I go to the store.Let me get back to you on that.

The thing I've noticed works every time no matter what is sun light. The original stories I've heard say that dracula or the vampire people or whatever ALWAYS stayed in their very dark castle, hence bright light from the sun, if they got into it, hurt their eyes.
But my little story was probably from someone just trying to sound smart. Sounds pretty smart to me...

Cut it's head off...You been watching highlander lately...He-he...

A wooden stake (it should be hawthorn according to legend). Sunlight is supposed to be pretty reliable as well. A silver bullet works better on a werewolf. Garlic & crucifixes are more deterrents, than methods of killing. Another good deterrent is a Communion Wafer that has been blessed by a priest. Holding it up to the vampire or placing it in the creatures coffin or place of rest work well, using a crucifix in this manner is effective as well.

You should read Dracula by Bram Stoker. He went out in the sunlight a couple of times throughout the book. Perhaps it was because he was such an old vampire. Or perhaps he used Count St. Germain's pracice of having hollowed out heels in his boots that contained his native earth. St. Germain could walk in daylight, but it was enervating to him if he had not fed recently (he was a good vampire and didn't kill as Dracula did).

Pretty cool. I need to read some of this stuff.

Cutting off its head.

The St. Germain books are by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro. She combines history with vampirism. I recommend "Hotel Transylvania" and "Blood Games" which in my opinion are two of her best. She also has a series called "Sisters of the Night" for which she has written 2 books so far with one more to come. They are about Dracula's three vampire brides and their history before joining him.

A wooden stake through the heart.

Since the original vampire myths probably gathered things from a variety of sources I would say that sunlight is a good bet - this is probably derived from someone who was extremely photosensitive and would therefore rarely be seen during the day and would most likely be badly disfigured. Since I believe the vampire myths were based around human beings not demons, I imagine that putting anything through their hearts would kill them. I can't see garlic or the religious items having much of an effect.

Of course, a lot of modern-day vampires are fluffies. Even those that aren't generally believe it's wrong to um, "taste" someone's blood without their permission, so you probably won't need to kill them. If you did need to kill them, I think anything that would kill any other person would kill them.

I am a vampire please don't kill me

Well, I don't believe in vampires, but I do enjoy the myth of them. The book that I am reading now says that they have to be burnt and then their ashes scattered.

A wooden stake through the heart, sunlight, or beheading are all equally effective.

I think a silver bullet is for a werewolf. Decapitation, a stake through the heart and sunlight will kill a Vampire. Garlic, holy water and crucifixes only piss them off.

Based on the large number of vampire films I saw when I was a child, I believe the preferred method is to open the vampire's coffin in the daytime when he is sleeping, and then drive a wooden stake through his heart.

One of the above through the heart or a crucifix?

1) first reliable method: a wooden stake through the heart THEN you chop off the vampire's head.
2)Other reliable method : sunlight

Silver works only for werewolves,religious symbols and holy water keep him/her/it at bay but can't kill.Same for garlic.
Interesting survey

I just asked my brother this question. His response?

"Feck its arse!"

This was followed by manic laughter.

(NB. It was his first day back at school today.)

Thx.

Garlic, a crucifix and holy water, by themselves, would not kill a vampire. In fact, contrary to popular belief, garlic would do absolutely nothing to a vampire...it's wolvesbane (which grows in Transylvania and Africa) that would have the desired effect. Holy water would result in burning the vampires skin, and a crucifix would cause them severe pain to look at (and would also result in burning/branding their skin if they came into contact with it). Holy communion wafers are another way to cause damage; by placing them on the skin of the vampire, the wafers would burn engravements on the flesh. Sunlight would kill nocturnal vampires, but would have no effect on certain types of vampires that can walk freely in broad daylight. A stake through the heart is your best bet, and stakes should preferably be made out of oak -or some other type of wood, but not metal- (silver bullets/stakes are for werewolves). Decapitation is another method of killing a vampire, (you could also slit its throat and fill its mouth with wolvesbane). Also, a vampire that feeds on the blood of a corpse would die instantly (they may not feed on 'dead blood').

Vampires aren't out in the day, so sunlight is unreliable. I checked one of the above through the heart since all three work.

You're very welcome

I wouldn't call you a vampire but you sure do like to bite.

Just take out their heart and keep it in a jar. Carry it with you always. This way, they are completely non-functioning, and stuck in torpor until you give it back!

I recommend that you all read Vampire the Masquerade.... 2nd edition (it's the best...) it explains all about different merits/flaws, and disciplines. Contrary to popular believe garlic, crucifixes, stakes etc, etc do NOT kill all vampires... in fact if they don't have that certain Advantage/Trait to them they would laugh in your face before taking you out (doesn't anyone role play anymore??? :))). And just so you know SILVER BULLETS only kill Werewolves.

Where have you been getting your info??

According to the novel I'm reading right now, "Dracula," by Bram Stoker, garlic is very effective in the repulsion of vampires. Yes, sure, it does not kill vampires, but garlic effectively wards them off

Anoddoblivion, I still am absolutely in love with this survey.

Let Buffy kick its ass. Let Willow cast a spell on it. Let Xander get donuts. Let Giles research. Let Cordelia whinge it to death.

Hmm, yes - Willow's spells..........*ahem ahem*

As protection I always eat a clove of garlic when I wake up, Carry a Wooden Stake, a silver stake, a silver bullet, holy water, and a crucifix with me. ^_^

Various places. I've never played Vampire: The Masquerade, but I was reading over the rules and info about the clans...it's very interesting.

None of the above.... Kind of..


Remove the head- place it between the legs of the corpse. Remove the vital organs and sprinkle rice or sand around the body. Bury the body. If the vampire still rises it will have to count every grain of sand or rice before leaving the coffin. If there is enough placed in the coffin the vampire will count right until sunrise and be killed by the light. Just in case a trail of rice/sand should be sprinkled above the grave and toward the homes of the vampires family and friends because they will probably fall victim to the vampire before anyone else. Yadda yadda yadda.

lol, Willow's spells are a little dodgy! But she is so cool!

Alacazam! And there's a fire! lol

Are you Wiccan or just a Buffy fan?

I had never heard of that before.

this is cool because i watch a lot of Buffy

Sunlight, one and only. The Anne Rice way.

funny you should ask...Harkon's blood and a Sword of Light.....

Nothing can beat a wooden stake! It worked just fine for me - I have not seen any pesky vampires in quite a while!

Solar reflectors in space; light one city up after another. We'd fry the buggers right into extinction.

As I understand the old folklore, the wooden stake through the heart doesn't kill the vampire, it merely pins them to the earth (supposed to drive it through the heart and the back of the coffin into the earth), so it can no longer escape the grave. Garlic doesn't kill, it just repels, same with the crucifix. Holy water..interesting...what about a Jewish vampire? Silver stake's I'm not familiar with, and silver bullets are for werewolves (and witches, at least according to one old folk tale...and it works, a silver bullet will kill a witch..and pretty much anyone else...)

wow, several of you jogged my weakened memory...thanks very much. Decapitation works, but should be done with a grave digger's shovel, then the mouth filled with wolvesbane (which is also known as arnica, also known as Monk's Hood, and grows in other places besides Transylvania...is a very effective arthritis treatment, when applied topically, and has slight aphrodisiac properties. Don't take it internally, it'll kill you as well as a vampire). Tossing bits of grain, or pins, or whatever at a vampire...or demon...is a good delaying tactic. Guess there's something about being undead that makes one obsessive-compulsive.

Watch Buffy people!!

What about a nice wood chipper? Let's see the bloodsucker reconstitute himself after that treatment.

Both! But I was a wiccan before I was a Buffy fan!

I think a wooden stake through the heart is the best way.

Well, to me, I don't really believe in vampires. but that's pretty much a lot of what characters are like in the movies before they're slaughtered to death. Anyways, I'd say that maybe it's either something, anything to the brain or heart, I mean, how scary can everyone be describing the vampires if they're afraid of garlic? And why do the vampires usually go after christians and not after people that would be less likely to wear a crusifix...if that's true. Or if you wanna do something easy, make it watch Britney Spears having sex with a chair in "Stronger" that should at least make it go insane, and the rest writes itself.

extra points for rusty nails!

You shouldn't kill them.... they are your friends

I don't give a damn about vampires. I say to just tie-en-up to a space rocket, and make then leave earth's biosphere, and just make the vampires float in space forever.

by forcing them to watch p.b.s.

Lessee...first you treat the vampire to a BIG dinner at Claim Jumper, by which time they're too full to offer resistance. You then take them home, sit them in a hard plastic chair and put on Frampton Comes Alive. By the end of the album, they're ready for the next step, which involves a cauterizing chemical. Mix evaporated milk, sugar and some chocolate together in a BIG bowl, put in the microwave on high for 10 minutes, then pour the resulting sludge over the vampire. The temperature should burn it mostly to a crisp, but you might need to apply Nair mixed with witch hazel just to finish it off. Then, set the remains in front of the TV and subject it to a 15-hour marathon of old Family Double Dare episodes. Scrape what's left off the chair (with a spatula or pickaxe), slip it into a large plastic baggie and bury it under the begonias. Make sure to water it every day (twice in the summer), and in 36 months you should have a nice weed-filled patch...perfect for a couple days of back-breaking labor, pulling out the weeds. Then plant an apple tree, and in 10 years or so you should have some nice apples coming in every fall. Make a pie, and give it to someone who deserves it. Then log on to the internet and go to a survey site. Wait until someone asks how to kill a vampire, then give them this technique. It works very very well.

A wooden stake or sunlight I guess.

Chop off it's head and burn the remains

EVIL TWISTERMIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First you stake them, then you chop off their head and throw it in a body of moving water. Next you bury the remains in consecrated ground. That sucker is good and dead then!

sunlight doesn't kill a vampire! it makes him only losse his powers (till dusk) and a silver bullet does work if it is shot into his grave while he sleeps in it!!

Feed them a dead mortal's blood then slit their throat.

Since a vampire is dead, shoving a wooden tent-peg into it won't do jack. Even bullets are iffy. As for the rest? Please! It's the 21st century. Here's a really conclusive way to whack a dead guy: hose the bloodsucker down with a flamethrower, and while it runs around screaming, blast its head into a spray of blood and brains with a sawed-off shotgun.
Never mind the "wait until it's asleep" idea...corpses don't sleep!

"Thou canst not kill what doth not live...
But you can blast it into chunky kibble!"

Paraphrased from the Quake manual, but still probably applicable to vampires, too. Anything that can gib a vampire, or better still, turn it into bubbling slag, would at least give it a hard time.

I'd say an HK-21E with about 200 rounds into a vampire will do a nice job

ok you people need to know that all silver items and stakes of any material will work! the garlic, silver, and crucifix all work because of the healing and purification powers in them! ( oh and a crucifix is not a cross don't know why every one thinks that?) The holy water can also be wine as long as a preacher blesses it! and sunlight just pisses us off it makes us weak until dusk, and there are like a hundred more ways like blowing us the heck up! plus if you really want to kill us just cut off our head the take out our heart the burn them all to ash!

Come on people what have vampires done to you. Why would you want the kill them. And I know that none of those can kill a vampire or hurt them. The thing about vampires is they heal so fast so its hard kill them anyway. And people that said sunlight, garlic, holy water, and a crucifx can kill them you are the stupidest people in the F-ing world. You know what you people need to stop watching all this F-ing tv and writeing about stuff that you dont know about!!!!!!!!!!