When you wear a kilt, do you wear it with or without underwear?

I don't think they like your survey very much

Well I do go without underwear anyway. None of you wear kilts but I'm telling you the feeling of not having underwear is fun. Try it sometime and you'll agree. Then you can answer my survey.

Without, of course.

I have never worn a kilt.

I have not worn a kilt but I find the idea intriguing.

When I was eight years old I dressed up as a Scotsman for Halloween. I wore underwear. For all the sickos here who want to know what kind of underwear an eight-year-old was wearing, it was probably cotton and also probably pastel.

A friend just sent me the following link to Utilikilts. I'm particularly taken by their Workman model, which is touted as being able to hold a six pack of beer.

I wear no kilt, but if I did I would true to Scottish tradition.

Thank you for sharing.

(sigh) However, it is your present day undergarments about which most are curious.

Opps, I forgot! You are not very far from your Scottish Halloween.

(hem, hem...adopting a fatherly like tone.)
"Now, confetti, such things are not discussed in polite company."
(gruff, gruff, gruff, protectively.)

Whew, almost got caught with my lecherous pants down!
Scottish pants to boot!

I don't wear kilts.

Welcome to Survey Central!

I have never worn a kilt, but I always wear underwear. Well, not ALWAYS, but you know what I mean

*demurely lifts her suede skirt up a fraction*
I don't have to buy you a Christmas present now!

I don't wear kilts, but I would just LOVE to see my husband in one! I imagine it would be rather, ummmmm.....itchy without underwear though.

I have worn them without underwear but I am mortally afraid of, well, getting aroused while wearing them. I'm afraid I might get aroused and totally embarrass myself cause everyone could easily see this bulge in the front of the kilt. I would die then. I'm too afraid that I'm not even putting my name on this comment.

I've never worn a kilt. Is the non-underwear tradtion for males only, or is it okay for women as well?

I'm glad you cleared that up. I thought you wore them when you bathed as well.

DON'T encourage Brian! He's a DOM (dirty old man)!

Just make sure you have a well weighted sporran and you should be ok. I'm rather fond of my muskrat sporran. I call it Fred.

I used to have to wear a kilt as part of my school uniform. I doubt it was a "real kilt" per se, but for what it's worth, I always wore underwear with it.

I wear guilts

Damn

I don't wear kilts.But if I did I would wear unddies..

Brian,where is the Scottish joke??? Waaaaaaaaa..

lol lol lol (kates reply to confetti)He is a hand full at times......

I always wore mine with underwear back when I was a teen acting as a 16th century mercenary kelt in a group that participated in the rennaissance faire. My kilt had six yards of tartan that took me about half an hour to pleat each morning. I would use my sword as a kilt spatula to situate my belt under it, then tie the upper two thirds over my left shoulder. There was plenty of room to store bannocks and such back there. I had a rabbit sporran and of course wore a leine. I know all sorts of pike manoevers in gaelic (and some curses. and my daughter's name is Ceilidh.) I had that life for about 4 years which even included living 16th century style week long marches in the back country. I recall pleating my kilt on a pre-dawn watch under a blood red full moon near a fort we (mostly I, Logan Logroller) made from driftwood on the beach.

Oooh- I really loved the Painter's kilt on that site! I wonder how it would fit a woman with Hips, being cut straight for a guy? I would totally wear one to work in- especially in this hot weather.

Oooh, I bet you looked stunning, did you have the long straight orange hair then? I saw your pic. with dabprovin- you're so puuurrrddyy!

Yeah, I think I'm going to succumb and place an order soon. They mention on the site that they don't do female cuts but there were a number of pictures of women wearing them. I guess it really depends on how hipped you are. You could get a shorter model if you wanted to have it ride on your hips and still be normal kilt length.

ROFL (rolling on floor laughing)
Got me!

Oh, I didn't find the comment about female cuts on the site. My issue is that often with men's clothes (which, for some reason I cannot pinpoint, I tend to prefer in style over women's) when the waist fits, the hips are too tight, when the hips fit, the waist has a big gap. If the Kilt has 6 yards of material, this wouldn't be a problem, likely, but if it's a more conservative straight cut, then it might gap awkwardly or the pleats might just look strange the way it lies after going over my "womanly hips."

Well, on a special request I could be convinced to do otherwise. How about nothing under the zip up nurse's jacket you saw? would that do?

DOM?
(pretending shock)
Let's use the official definition of Brian here:
A humorous old lecher who wouldn't know what to do with it if he got it.

Perhaps you missed an exchange in another survey in which I confessed to the sin of enjoying flirting, teasing and being silly as part of repartee.

Brains are fun and sexy. I thoroughly enjoy being charmed by the wit and wisdom of women. And give every opportunity for the "fair sex" to zap me good with a delightful and sometimes shocking comeback, of which Ms. confetti just hit me extremely well. (My hat's off to her.)

A DOM, on the other hand, would ask you to meet him in the closet for a rousing round of cyber-salami sliding.

(BTW: what are you doing later?)

By popular demand:
Two little old school marm types are on vacation in Scotland when they come across a Scotsman passed out drunk in an alleyway in full traditional garb.

One says to the other: "Every wonder what a Scotsman wears underneath his kilt?"

Using her umbrella, the other gently lifts the kilt to discover that like any good Scotsman, he has nothing underneath.

"Let play a joke on him." say one, "I'll tie my hair ribbon around his talleywacker, and when he wakes up he'll go crazy trying to figure it out."

Later, when the Scotsman wakes, his first instinct is to relieve himself. He discovers a blue ribbon neatly tied to his privates.

Cocking his head in a contemplative manner, he says
(apply your best Scottish accent here):

"Laddie, ah dint new where ya bin, but ahm real proud to see ya won first prize."

If you're well-hipped, it probably won't work well: on my kilt (and, from the pictures, on theirs) the pleats are sewn together from the waist to the hips. This makes the top portion too stiff to taper well.

Ahh...go for it! Wear the kilt. What better way to show your "pride".

If I were to wear a kilt and find myself "intrigued" by a Scottish lass, my "exposure" would be analogous to the State of Rhode Island in relation to the entire USA.

ROFL
This is why I adore you.

Sorry sweetie, you're the wrong gender for me!

(sigh) I guess I shall just have to nurse a broken heart.
Ya got a sister?

Yep, but she is married (to husband #2). I also have 2 half-sisters whom I haven't seen since I was 4 years old. They were teenagers when I last saw them.

(sigh) I am far to ancient for teenagers.

No, they were teenagers when I was 4 years old (they were 14 & 16 yrs old when I last saw them. That was 1956 or 1957, so they would probably be too old for you.

*makes a mental note*

*looks mildly bewildered*

Are you, now?

And he was so keen to ogle your underwear.......

Well, how about "far too old to be of any consequence to teenagers, young adults, soccer moms and even some geriatrics".

Oh well, I had one hell of a ride until I got to be over 50. (blush)

Ahhh...permit me to rephrase that.

I was not oogling. Practicing my drooling, maybe, but oogling, never.
(he lied)

Oh well, that's different. Maybe we can work something out, if dinner doesn't cut it.

BTW: did you lock up the cutlery yet?

Did I say you were oogling? Nope! I said you were ogling, there is a distinct difference..........

Oogling, to me, implies eyeballs actually popping out of heads and tongues flapping in the breeze........You *weren't* doing that, *were* you Brian?

Ahh...ahhh...well...ahh...maybe a little...ahh...(furiously looking around for the nearest exit)...I mean, no, definitely not!

Hey, what's happening to my nose?

Biggles, confetti and kate.

You have to forgive me, my most enchanting friends (sigh), but I must go home now. See ya all tomorrow...and most definitely in my dreams.

lol

Bye bye

Wait a minute, you're only just going home? But it's 22:36........

*sigh* think time differences Biggles!! It must be at least 6 hours behind in Brazil, right? You can tell me in the morning!

Sleep well, and don't have lecherous dreams about poor old (young) phoebe! Or anyone else for that matter. I suppose I'll let you have lecherous dreams about your wife though........

lol nope

Thank you,thank you,thank you Brian!! I knew you'd find it! You the man!!

Didn't want to take any chances,so I printed it this time.

I keep imagining your "one hell of a ride" as you going over bumpy country roads in a beat-up old car, cracking jokes over the sound of the motor.

Never worn a kilt.

No, I looked quite masculine and had dark brown hair then. I had my senior highschool picture taken in my kilt.

Yes Yes Yes...
You sexy little tease!

Why are you making a "mental note?" Don't I rate a written down note?

If the outfit were to arrive in my mail box, then photos would arrive in yours.

I might be totally on crack here, but are you married and did I meet your wife once when I was out at "New Voices?" (I would have been w/jonathan at the time). If so, and If I remember correctly, she (the woman I met who might have been your wife unless I'm totally on crack) is shaped somewhat like me- she could try it on when you get it and report back to me (topper@apocalypse.org).

*faints*

Back in the days of 6 ( usually 10 actually) yard tartan kilts (16th century), the women wore dresses.

You did indeed meet my wife (she and I roomed with jonathan for a while). If you're shaped like her (hurray, curves!), I highly doubt that a regularly cut kilt would fit. I'll let you know should I find differently.

Exactly...that's what I meant.
(eyes to heaven, softly whistling non-melodically to himself)

Actually you have pretty well just described the class clown from my high school years.

Ya know, Biggles, I did dream of you last night.
You were busy throw cold water on my other dreams.

("and I was gonna let you become part of my most erotic fantasies")
Woody Allen from Antz.

Now that that's outta the way...You can peek under my kilt, if I can peek under yours. >

lol Aren't I nice!

You sure do.

Thanks, that makes me feel better!

I also imagined you as being one. I wonder if that guy in homeroom who stands on his head each morning to greet me will turn out like you....

Go ahead,I told you before,I wear shorts under my kilt!! & no I don't wan't to peek under your kilt.Just do the full monty!

LOL This is a funny question! LOL

I dont really want to know....

I've never worn a kilt, and I haven't worn a dress or skirt for about ten years. I hate wearing a dress!

And if you want to do the genuine Full Monty you'd have to come to Sheffield. I'd advise all my fellow Sheffielders to run screaming for the hills! (Good thing about Sheffield, it's a big city but it's only a 15 minute drive to a National Park from pretty much anywhere in the city!)

Does he wear a kilt? Does he...ahh..."wave" to you?

Ahh...that should give you an idea how things are gonna "turn out".

Yeah, you're just peachy. Some folks qualify as Dream Weavers, you on the other hand are a Dream Reupholster. Talk about yer funky fabric.

I'd give ya a Full Monty, if my Monty had been full in the first place. However, you and the rest of your running, screaming friends will have to settle for a "Mini Monty".

Not entirely unlike Minnie Mouse, minus my own registered trade mark.
(D*mn Disney monopoly!)

"Oh Mickey, yer personal mouse trap is ready and waiting!"

Okay, now I'm just scared!

lol I forgot to take my medication today.

I couldn't tell. You're always scary.

(moping) I'm not scary. Not even remotely frightening.
Now weird! That's a different story all together.

Heh heh heh! So, tell me a bed-time story about your weirdness?

Once upon a time there was one little pig (of the chauvinistic breed), whose mother kicked him outta the house 'cause she couldn't stand him any more. Not because he was chauvinistic, but because he was a PIG!

The little pig came upon a man carrying a load of bricks and asked to buy some, where upon the man replied: "Why the hell should I sell bricks to a pig? What are you nutz? You haven't even got opposing thumbs, for Pete's sake!"

Not easily discouraged, the little pig offered the man a bag of magic beans for the bricks, where upon the man replied: "Not only are you a pig, but a very stupid one, who can't even get his fairy tales straight."

The little pig looked so sad, that the man finally relented and traded the bricks for the beans. (The man whose name was Jack went on to become both rich and famous, but that's another tall tale.)

Loaded down with bricks the little pig promptly built himself a sh*t house, which is where most would agree a stupid chauvinistic pig belongs anyway.

Well, no sooner had the little pig sat down with his favorite reading material, a Sear catalog, when who should come knocking on his door, but...you guessed it! Little Red Riding Hood.

(What? You were expecting the Big Bad Wolf, or something?)

"Little pig, little pig, let me in, let me in." implored Little Red Riding Hood.

"Not by the hair on my...ahhh..." said the little pig quickly examining his "hamhocks", "...skinny wing ding.”

Where upon Little Red Riding Hood replied: “Open the d*mn door already and git out! I ate one of my Mom’s prune Danish and I can’t wait ‘til I get to Grandma’s.”

The little pig complied.

While outside awaiting for Little Red Riding Hood, the little pig could hear her huff and puff, and huff and puff, until …you guessed it: she blew his house down!

“Man,” he muttered, “and they call me a pig!”

To make a long story short, the little pig hurried home to his mother where he promised to rinse out his socks, take out the garbage and never ever again be a pig, chauvinistic or otherwise.

Oh that's great But not as good as Jemmy's penguin story that she wrote for you! *Yours* has got naughty words in it, at least her's is clean

Jemmy is not a pig.

BTW: where is that Jemmy story? It appears for a second on my scene and then I got a Webpage failure notice. I want to congratulate her.

I don't wear one, but if I did, I would wear underwear

K I'll keep it in mind.

Just as long as you don't keep it at hand!

Why is it, I am beginning to suspect you are not as young as you portray?

Hmmm...very curious?????

Chicken!

You first.
I don't know about you, but I don't need a swift wind to come up from behind and reveal my "who who" to the world!

I've never, at any age, been mistaken for someone younger. I've learned to live with that.

(waving kilt over his head, while waving his "pride" below)
There! You satisfied? BTW: I hear its gonna be windy tonight.

Well, from the maturity of your comments, I can understand why.

However, your statement implies that people who have met you in person also find you older than your years.

So what, you got a head full of grey hair already?
Or is it the little old lady clothes?