Any advice for dealing with the death of a parent?

Feel what you feel and don't beat yourself up about it.

http://directory.google.com/Top/Health/Mental_Health/Grief,_Loss_and_Bereavement/Children%27s_Grief/

http://directory.google.com/Top/Health/Mental_Health/Grief,_Loss_and_Bereavement/Children%27s_Grief/

http://directory.google.com/Top/Health/Mental_Health/Grief,_Loss_and_Bereavement/

Sorry about the broken links.

Death reminds us of our own mortality. It is important to come to terms with this. Everything we experience in this realm is transitory. It is very difficult to avoid becoming too attached.

Read 'Conversations with God' books 1-3. If nothing else, it'll keep you busy.

Here's advice for dealing with the death of any loved one; respect your privacy and alone time, but don't push away the people around you, as overbearing as they might seem. Everybody is uncomfortable and confused in these situations.

It sucks. I'm haunted.

That's the only reason I've made it through.....knowing the truth......still....this reality here on earth tugs at me and makes me forget.....and struggle...with my father's death and our relationship before he passed.

I have not had to deal with that yet.

I took a week vacation with one of my customers who was twice my age; we went to Jamaica, smoked a lot of pot, and fudgeed a few times a day.

PLEASE TELL ME (US) WHO YOU ARE SO I CAN PRAY FOR YOU PROPERLY.

I am so sorry about the death of your parent. My dad died five years ago, and it's something I'm still not "over." I will never get "over" him. There is no easy answer. I understand what confetti is saying ("but don't push people away"), but fudge other people right now. Please don't worry about how you're going to come across to them. Do whatever you have to do, and I mean that. I called all sorts of people at all hours of the day. I would look up old friends, current (at the time) college friends, and, even though I certainly wasn't suicidal, I would call suicide hotlines and just make them listen to my cry for an hour or so.

If you have other pressing issues in your life (when my dad died, I was in my final semester of college, and my mom WOULD NOT let me take even one day off, I'm not kidding. She's thankful he died an a Saturday, no one was "put out.") I suggest smoking pot. I really do. But only if you're stressed.
When my dad died, I was still in college (as I've said), and I went to the school psychologist. She tried to put me on Prozac. Said said she "knew" someone. I left and never went back. I don't know about --

Wait: This might be really bad advice. I'm sorry, you can figure out the rest. Weed, NYC,...

my e-mail is
jikehart@hotmail.com

I will help you ANY WAY that I can.

Please talk to me, even though I don't know who you are, you're still in my heart.

Were things not good between you two?

Nope, sorry...

This isn't something I've experienced so I'm not sure what advice I can possibly give. I've never lost anyone that I love.

I suppose all I can say is that time does heal. I know it's a major cliche, but there you go. Some of the best words of wisdom have become cliches.

No, sorry. I have often thought about how bad of an experience it must be. I think everyone has to deal with this at some time or another. It has got to be hard. I would think that you would need to spend lots of time with family and friends and think about the good points in the persons life instead of thinking so much about them passing on.

This is hard to answer, because I don't have a negative experience with my father's passing a few years back. We made our peace before he died. That greatly eased my sense of loss. And I deduce his own sense of closure at the end of his life.

So, my advice is that one should confront one's parent(s) now (as painful as that might be to some) to clear the air, bury the hatchets and make the peace between hearts, so one never has to regret that one didn't say "I love you" one last time.

If one didn't have that chance, pray. My experience is also that my father has given me "guidance" and "messages" from beyond when I, with open heart, prayed for his counsel.

While I don't often promote miracles and divine interventions* my father once sent me a beautiful rainbow as a response to a postmortem question I posed him.

Poop-poop it all you like, I know it was from him. And my heart was calmed.

*There you go, Kristal_Rose, now you can say "I told you so".

Only a fool would "poop-poop" something that someone *knows* to be true.

I can't pretend to know what to say to someone who's parent had died. I guess it depends on what the person believes personally, and this would influence the type of things I would say.

He didn't accept my relationship with Sue. When he found out I was leaving my husband for a woman he wrote me a letter basically calling me an abomination to God. He had found God, Christianity later in life(after a long life of using and abusing chemicals and people and basically being a cad!) and was afraid that because I chose to be with a woman, he wouldn't see me in heaven. We barely had any communications after that. I was very angry at him. Toward the end of his battle with cancer, he reached out to me and we had a couple of phone calls and letters. Then he was gone. I don't feel I had closure. I told him what he needed to hear to pass without guilt for his actions. I didn't attend his funeral. I still resent him. I'm still angry at his human failings. I wish he could have accepted my relationship with Sue in an open way.

Yeah, well, in most cases the world is wonderfully strange enough to support many "truths".

However, I still have problems with the "Flat Earth Society" who routinely sends me literature.

Oh....I'm sorry. Um...my advice usually really sucks..I'm better at sympathy, but um....stay strong and keep hope that it will get better.

My pet guppy, who was like a mother to me, just died.
How soon can you pack? >

Try to understand that it is a part of life and they are meant to go before you. That probably wouldn't help me if I lost my mom, but I don't know what else to say.

True......But there's a difference between ignoring truth or creating one's own truth and actually *feeling* it.

I've got the 8:30 to Brazil! See you tomorrow!

Not long after my dad died, my aunt said, "Try not to think of your dad as someone who died. Try to remember him as a great man who lived." That really helped put things in perspective. I have so many good memories of my dad, and learned so much from him, that he will always be a part of my life. I know he is in Heaven now. Sometimes, when I have a difficult decision to make, I try to think what my dad would have done, or what he would have wanted me to do. It helps.

One of my best fiends just told me her boyfriend has Hodgkin's disease. He's 30. I have no idea how to cope with this. Any help is appreciated.

hhhhhmmmm, remember them fondly, remember their love and love yourself......... it is something that will change your life forever, not necessarily for the worse or better, it is just very different depending on how close you were. my mom died 7 yrs ago and i miss her every day!! i have a wonderful life but it would be great if she were here to see and know how wonderful it is!
and as jkiehart said let me know if you need anything or just want to talk!!!

i guess not. my parents are still living. but, one time my best friend let himself into my apartment while i was at work and stole my gun. i didn't even know it, and he used it to kill himself a week later. i guess i don't have any advice on something like that either. the pain lessened, in time.

good book, i have an old friend whose life it changed.

If you know someone,that you can talk to,about your loss,
that has suffered the same Parental loss as you,
it's usually easier talking to someone who
can relate to your grief.
Try not to talk to someone who has lost a
child as that is a totally different kind of loss.
I have loss both my parents & at a very young age of
12 & 17 years old. Then when I was 21 I loss a child.
Grieving a parents loss are so different from losing
a child.
Trust me!! You could not know this unless you have
been there.
I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

Be not afraid to cry,when you feel the need to,
let it all out.
Be not ashamed to do that privately or publicly.
Talk to those who will listen to you & know that
they too feel your pain as well as their own.
Pray often is my best advice to anyone grieving
the loss of a loved one,& that includes close
dear friends who you might have loss also!!
Cry as often as you need to cry,yell at that
loved one if you feel you must,but get it all out.
Crying is a natural process of grieving,let
it all hang out.You'll feel better after doing that.

Oh Twisty!......I'm sorry.

I will meet you at the airport. I will be the one dressed in a mourning shroud. (sobbing)

(meanwhile beneath his shroud, he grins devilishly while thoughts of "sugarplum jkieharts" dance in his head.)

*kiss*

First, I offer my condolences for the loss of your loved one. It helped me to understand the pain I felt after my mother died was in direct proportion to the love I had for her. My most practical advice is: Take it easy on yourself for a while. Try to avoid making life-altering decisions until you feel better. Find comfort in your friends and family, let them do things for you even if you don't feel like having them done, they need to help you as much as you need to be helped. Last, but not least, a journal can sometimes be the best help for sorting out your feelings...you will have some you don't especially feel like sharing and you'll need to get them out.

Unfortunately I can't think of any advice. In my case, when my father died I actually celebrated. I know that it would have been a different story altogether if my mother had died.

Rely on other people. When my boyfriend died I relied heavily on my friends. Dont suffer on your own.

No