Should I have my son pay a small household bill each month?

Have him open a savings account, but allow him to spend reasonable amounts on what he wants. Did he get the job so he can have some extra spending money? If so, then let him spend it every once in a while.

In my opinion, he should not have to pay rent. It is the parents responsibility to provide food, shelter, basic clothes, love, support, etc. He should have to do reasonable chores and pay for any "extras".

No. That is silly. Your son should save his money to manage his own future life. That is a more challenging task as far as responsibility goes. If he is still living with you at 18, when he is officially an adult, you have every right to ask him to help out, though.

No! He should be saving up for his first car! He'll understand bills at 16, when he has to pay car insurance.

As a matter of fact I'm about to buy him his first car because he turns 16 on July 25th. He is determined to pay something, cable bill, something on the phone bill, buy groceries or something.

I asked this question because I get people asking me if I make him pay something, and I said no. And they were saying that he should or else I'm not teaching him about responsibility. My son loves expensive, nice "Name Brand" clothing sometimes I can't afford everything that my "FIVE" children want, so I told him to spend some of it on that.

That's fine with me, then I told him we'll open an account for him to save some as well.

You're such a good mom!

How about the water bill, then? They're generally small, and you appreciate it more.

That's true, maybe after he enjoys a few more checks then I'll consider it. Oh listen to this, his first check, he calls me at work, and said "Mom I didn't know I had medicaid" and who is FICA, I get Social Security too. I was laughing soooooooo hard, I was like, welcome to the real world son. But I was told that they're not suppose to take out taxes on him because he's to young to file. Maybe that should be my next survey question, because I never thought about that.

I think that's so silly when people say you aren't teaching a kid responsibility if you let him spend his job money on what he wants, and don't make him pay any bills. What would they say of kids that have no job at all? What's the difference? Let's say you have 15 year old twins. One has no job, chooses to spend the summer riding his bike, reading magazines and watching TV. The other twin goes and gets a job. Should the working twin have to help pay bills just because he works? He should have to learn responsibility just because he has money, while the other twin isn't learning anything? Thats silly.

Good point.

I think having him buy more of his own stuff himself would be more appropriate than having him contribute money towards household expenses.

No, I think you can still file when you're under 18, just as long as you're working legally. I recall having to file taxes and getting refunds when I started working at age 14. Though, that was some time ago...

Oh! It's optional if you're under 18 and/or earn less than a certain amount in the year. They don't require it, but he'll be sure to get a refund.

Why is he working at the age of 15?

Why is your son working at the age of 15?

No. You are the responsible adult and keeper of the household and you are responsible for supporting the child you chose to create. You can however insist that he use his $$ and any allowance he gets to cover the expenses of his activities as he chooses them. For example, he should have to buy any clothes above and beyond what you are willing to buy or can afford, He should help cover expenses related to any lessons or recreational activities. He should pay for going to the movies or out with friends or gas for the car if you have to run him around a bunch of extra places. He should pay for his own snack foods, CD's, fancy haircuts, piercings and non necessities.

It depends on whether the job is full time.
When I got my first full time job (actually it was a paid studentship), my parents had me pay for my clothes and activities as well as a nominal weekly "board" to help cover bills. That worked for me.
But you know, I was over 18, and I think that makes a difference.

I was making good money at that age, and bought myself a top notch camera, water ski, and bicycle all which lasted many years. I don't think he should be responsible for anything financial except driving when that comes up, and anything he does with his friends of course. That he has chosen to work is responsibility enough for his age. I thought this was to obvious for a survey in western culture.

Get him to buy his own clothes and pay for his own entertainment. He will rapidly discover the worth of property and the value of money.

I think he should be buying his own clothes. At least, he should buy anything that goes beyond basic needs - if he wants brand names on his clothes, then he should pay for that, not you. He should also pay for food he eats outside the house - if he wants to get a burger at McDonalds or wherever, that's his own money. And, when he gets a car, all his expenses (petrol, insurance, maintenance, etc) should be from his own money.

But, unless he's earning a lot of money (at 15?), I don't think he should be paying you rent or household bills - he's still a minor, so he doesn't have any choice over this yet!

Basically, I think the principle should be that he pays for anything that's a matter of his choice, but not for things that you choose for him.

I think he should have to save a large amount of that money and not be allowed to touch it till he turns a certain age. I think parents should be able to moniter their childs spending habits and make sure they are not doing bad things like buying drugs, alcohol or smokes.

Yes he will still have to pay the taxes out of his check but most likely he will get all of it back when tax time comes. This is a good chance to teach him how to do his taxes.

Another thing you might consider is not letting him spend his money as cash. They have these credit/debit card type things for kids called Visa Buxx that you make deposits onto the card and then the child can spend the money on the card. If you do this you will know where he spends his money and he will see on his monthly statements where he spends his money. I think the visa Buxx is a grand idea especially if you are worried about the child using drugs. It is real hard to buy drugs without cash. I know many teenagers struggle with drugs is the only reason I mention this. My step daughter is 14 and I worry about her alot. here is a link if you are interested: http://www.visabuxx.com/

hhhmmm, i paid a small bill when i started working and i guess it helped........ i think it helped more when i had to pay for my outside activities because i knew exactly where the money was going, how much i could afford, if i needed to work more to do a specific thing, etc.......

no matter what you do, someone else will tell you that that is not the "correct" thing to do! you know your son, and he sounds responsible all ready! he will learn a lot just from the fact that he is working........

Counsel him about the necessity of putting something away for a rainy day. It was the best advise my dad ever gave me at age 15.

He should have to cover some of his own expenses with the money he earns.

He should try to save some (this coming from someone who can't save worth a crap) and pay for some of his entertainment and social life (movies, CD's, etc)

He probably shouldn't even have a job to be honest. If it is financially necessary for him to have a job, just decrease the number of things you buy him out of your wallet, and that effectively is him paying some bills. If it is not financially necessary, encourage him to enjoy his childhood.
Young female friend of mine, 14, welathy parents, has job at retail store working on a cash register for $7/hour. I have so much emotional pain about this it is unbelievable. She likes it, her parents think she learns responsibility, I guess I would be okay with it but I can't get over the sick feeling in my stomach.

He's your son. I think you should do whatever you want. Isn't that one of the reasons for becoming a parent? So you have someone to boss around?

My parents made me pay $100 a month room and board when I started working. (I was 18 at the time.) I remember my mother said at the time that I wouldn't be able to find another place to live for $100. The first two places I lived, when I moved out, were exactly $100 a month rent!

If he's in school, he should be supported with the necesities(food/shelter/medical/ect..), but you could ease off on clothes and things like that.

Of course not! I think that security is a better thing to teach.

I like this idea. I was forced to put a third of my paycheck into savings, but that did nothing to teach me about financial responsibility. Being responsible for a small bill would teach so much more: deadlines, check-writing, balancing a checkbook, an understanding that electricity, water, cable, etc just don't "appear" magically. At the same time, you could open up a savings account for him and deposit the same amount of money he spends on "his" bill into the account. He wouldn't have to know about it, but when he's ready to get a car, go to college, move out, etc, he would have that money plus understand the responsibilities that go along with incurring and paying bills. I don't really think of this exercise as something to get YOU out of a bill, but something that will teach HIM a lifelong lesson.

I think it's a good idea if done properly. I had a friend who's 18 year old son wanted to move out and to help him prepare, they had him look in the paper and find the apartment that he wanted. Then, they had him pay them that amount in rent every month along with what they had figured it would cost him for groceries and other living expenses through the month. They did this for about 5 months until he got the hang of it and understood what he was in for. After that they let him get his own apartment, but the twist here is, instead of spending the money that he had been paying them for 5 months, they saved it and gave it back to him so he would have a nice amount of money to start out with. I think that was a great idea.

He's only 15. Give him a break. You should let him spend his money however he wants, but encourage him to save up for something he would really like to have.

16 year olds can drive in the US??? That seems pretty young to me. The age here is 17 (on roads) so most of my friends are juust beginning to learn. I was 17 last year but I'm not planning to learn ever.

Fifteen year olds can drive in the US in some cases (not counting agricultural exemptions). The training and testing requirements are rather minimal.

That's quite scary.........

I had my driver's license when I was 15.

I don't think that most 15 year olds (especially the boys) are mature enough to drive. The boys in my year are 17 and are just beginning to seem like young adults - it's taken them a long time to catch up with the girls. There's a good reason insurance is so expensive for young people - especially young males.

His car insurance will be plenty big enough when the time comes. I'm all for making him pay for clothes and outside activites, but I wouldn't bother having him pay a household bill. Although if you've gotten him a pager or his own phone line you could make him pay for that.

A few more thoughts on this:

• Make him buy his own damn car. Co-sign on a car loan if you're not willing to have him drive a car as unreliable as he could probably afford.
  
• I don't think it's reasonable to charge "rent" while enforcing typical household rules. Anyone who's thinking of charging their kids rent should instead save it as a bargaining chip for when the kid wants to be free of the obligation to be home by a certain time, or whatever.
  
• Although having him save money is a great educational tool, it's also a tactically poor idea when it comes time to pay for college. Colleges will expect him to contribute 35% of his savings per year when the time comes, but they'll only expect you to contribute 5% per year. So it's better to have him spend all his money on car insurance or whatever, and have you take the money you saved on whatever he was buying and save it in your own name.
  

35% of your savings? Hows that? Do they get reports on your bank accounts? What if you don't have any savings before or after the loan?
Suddenly it's worth knowing for both my own sake and my kids, so any quick explanation would be appreciated.

if you apply for financial aid you generally have to provide financial information to the college.

the quick explanation is: unless you expect to be able to pay for college entirely out of pocket, you should generally not save in your child's name. The tax benefits of doing so are outweighed by the financial aid benefits of saving in your own name instead.

No, it is your responsibility to care for him.

Oh yeah, you can get your license at 16 here. You can get your permit before that but you can't be in the car without a licensed driver in there with you. They have to have their license for at least one year.

I don't understand about rules vs rent. If a rule is reasonable, it should be enforced whether or not the kid is paying rent. If it isn't a reasonable rule, it shouldn't exist. If an 18 year old is mature enough to stay out late without getting into trouble, it shouldn't matter whether or not he is paying rent. I don't see any connection. Is the attitude "Be home by 12 or start paying rent"? If the kid begins paying rent, is it automatically OK for him to be out at all hours?

Mostly I think that you should treat your offspring either as children or as adults, depending mostly on whether they are, well, children or adults. Children are the responsibility of their parents and as such get basic support and have curfews and so on. Adults pay rent and don't have household rules other than those that apply to the other adults in the house.

If you want to continue treating your son as a child when he wants to have the privileges of adulthood, his having the responsibilities of adulthood can only hurt your negotiating position.

I'm not saying that you're trading rent against curfews, just pointing out that the line "you'll be home by 12 as long as you live in my house" doesn't hold as much water when he's paying money to live there.

I believe the philosophy is landlords don't tell their tenants when bedtime is; if the kids are mature enough to pay rent (competing with other lanndlords, perhaps not as cheap) then they're mature enough to set their own rules. charging rent turns your kid into a tenant, who should have tenant rights like bringing dates home. It's like the argument that kids old enough to be drafted should be allowed to drink; if they're not old enough for one responsibility, then they're not old enough for another. When the kid pays rent does he get to complain at the house meeting about vacuuming too early or the common space decor?

..and Krystal: I see what you are saying. Let's say you have a 24 year old college student at home. What would be a good reason for giving him a curfew? What about a mature, but jobless 18 year old? What if your son or daughter got a job, began paying rent, got the rules relaxed and the curfew lifted, and then got laid off and was unable to pay rent a year later? Would it be reasonable to impose a curfew again? I guess I wonder because there are some teens who are mature and responsible enough to stay out late, but they still don't have jobs.

So you like to reverse the underlying argument, do you? He should be paying rent or not. If s/he's reached a level of responsibility to pay rent and transcend the childhood restrictions, then when they get laid off it should be understood that they are under the grace of free support for the time being because they are family. Living under parental restrictions is no way to learn self-responsibility or give one a happy attitude about being self-supporting. Another way to put it: having a job, having restrictions, and paying rent are all separate issues. If they need rules, they should be requested even if they move to franks garage. If it's time they pay rent, that should be requested even if they haven't started working yet. Any other method of relating the issues is circumstantial invasive meddling.
Kr'I'stal. I just got a lovely gift from a dabprovin spelled with a 'y'. Considering my name appears with each comment, she must be a pure auditory conceptual thinker. In contrast, I don't remember a name unless I've seen it spelled, and then I always turn to my photo memory to recall it. Still, you've seen it spelled everyday for months.

Oops sorry. Maybe I'm an auditory thinker too(?) I agree that rent and rules are separate issues. I never had to pay rent, even when I had a job, and when I was in college. A kid should be able to save enough to move out. I also didn't have all the restrictions after I graduated. If they don't need rules, and they need the free financial support, I would say it's ok to fully support them financially without imposing the rules. Financial responsibility is a different kind of thing than being responsible enough to set your own rules.

I think that making him pay bills already may be a bit much. He will see that maintaining a job will allow him greater freedom to pursue activities he enjoys, and that the things he wants, he can work for and afford. That may be enough for him now. Who would add a few years of worrying about paying bills to their history? He'll have that to deal with soon enough. Don't forget that your example is already influencing him and teaching him responsibility.

He should start becoming responsible for his own non-vital expenses, as he becomes capable. For example, automotive insurance and fuel. Basic necessities of life I would continue to provide until he has left school. Once he feels he's completed his education, then a flat "room and board" payment makes sense.

Whatever you do, don't force him to do anything specific with his money. Feel free to recommend, and provide the essentials of living. Let him squander it all on stupid things a few times. Then, explain why you won't help him buy something he really wants, but can't afford, because he doesn't have any of his own money.

He's a kid! He's probably not making that much anyway. That would be a dumb thing to do as a parent. However, do encourage him to save most of it away and not spend it all on useless stuff, but do let him have some fun. (by the way I'm a 16 year old who just got my first full time job a month ago)

I think he should be allowed to spend his money however he chooses. He should be encouraged to have a savings account, but he will probably resent it if you MAKE him save money when he wants to spend it. Buying his own clothes is a good idea, but at that age I don't think he should have to pay for all of them. Maybe you could give him $100 or so at school shopping time and tell him anything he spends above that will be out of his own money.

I'm not so keen on making him pay a bill each month, unless it's something that is just for himself. (Such as his own phone line in his room.) But it would certainly be appropriate to have him sit down with you when you pay the bills so he can see where all the money goes.

I worked from the time I was 13 years old, and my parents nagged me constantly about saving money, but never really explained WHY I should do it. That made me want to NOT save just to spite them. They'd have been smarter to explain to me how compound interest works and how great it would be to have some money saved up when I moved out on my own. When I moved out to go to college I had less than $1000 saved up. I probably could have had $10,000 if I had been smart.

Social Security (FICA) and Medicare is taken out of everyone's paychecks in the US and paid to the government no matter their age or how much they make. Employers also often have the right to deduct some for disability insurance (worker's comp), although that varies from state to state, and the amount varies depending on how risky the job is. Federal income tax will be withheld according to how he filled out his W-2 form, but if they do withhold some, he's likely to get it all refunded at income tax time because he probably won't make enough working part-time to actually owe anything. If he's old enough to work, he's old enough to file. I'd be happy to explain any of this in more detail if you're interested. I do the payroll at work, so I can probably answer any questions you might have.

For the most part, I liked working as a teenager and having my own money to spend. I recall in past surveys you mentioned how bored you get because there's nothing to do. I think most teenagers have that problem. So what's wrong with your friend getting a part-time job? Maybe she was bored, too, and at least this way she has her own spending money and some work experience under her belt for the future. Maybe with more spending money there will be more options for things to do in her spare time. If she likes it, why does it make you sick?

At 15? If, after graduating high school, he opts to stay at home instead of getting his own place or going off to college, then yes, he should contribute to the household expenses. While he's still a minor he's YOUR financial responsibility rather than vice versa. Call me old-fashioned, but I don't see this as a way to teach him financial responsibility. Sounds more like child labor to me. If he voluntarily decides to contribute, that's completely different.

It is just sad. I don't think she needs to be in that situation. She is a child. I think it is too much reality at too young of an age.

Have him deposit a certain amount of money into a bank account each week. This way, he can learn to save...something my parents never taught me! I would also have him buy some of his own clothes. If he wants something really expensive, have him buy it, or offer to "match" his contribution. He should learn "comparison" shopping and just how expensive things are.

Yeah sure! Make him pay for a ducks bill one month, A Platypus's the next and er..a ..um....cant think of anymore....

He'll be paying bills all his life once he turns 18, so i think you shouldn't make him pay a bill.

If he's only 15 I don't think so, if you want to do something when he could legally move out then go ahead. So when he's 16 I think if you wanted to you could get him to pay...