Where should we take our guests?

Blow their minds. Get loaded then take them to a theme park.

Theme Park or carnival!!!!!!!!

First take them to Roswell, then take them to Area 51...there they will see what Earth is all about.

Yep. At area 51 they will get a real taste of how humans are.

I'd take them to the Museum of Anthropology at UBC. If there was any time left, we would be real close to Wreck Beach.

Take them to Disney Land

Concert, one with all types of music.

Cool question.

Depending on where you live, something that shows the natural beauty of your area. For example, mountains, the ocean, or Niagara Falls.

Times Square!!!!!!

take them to a porno flick...

what are they most interested in?

since they are from mars, one of them must have a time machine in their pocket. use it, and take them to sometime around 1100-1300 ad in the americas when the natives lived peacefully and spiritualy and roamed the plains hunting buffalo. hell, eat some buffalo yourself. you won't have to feel bad about it, because there is plenty of buffalo to go around at that time, the white devil hasn't showed up to slaughter them all yet. pass the peace pipe around with the local chief. it's ok, because no matter what's in it it's not illegal yet and you and your martian friends won't have to worry about being hauled off to jail and cavity searched because you inhaled an herb. take them up to a mountaintop to sit and eat some fermented fruit and wild mushrooms and enjoy the natural beauty and silence that was earth. trust me! your guests will appreciate it!

Martians???
.....fisting, mostly.

Hare Krishna Sunday Feast.

What' s Wreck Beach?

family event would probably be most like real interaction between earthlings....... or maybe the public holiday event.

I suppose you could ask them what sort of thing interests them the most. My favorite thing in this list would be the theatre, but to heck with cultural achievement. I'd be more inclined to take them to see the natural beauty of our world.

Vancouver's best beach. Clothing optional. It is quite famous. Very relaxed atmosphere, all kinds of things for sale, it is quite popular. I don't go there much myself, I'm not much of a "beach person", I sunburn easily. It is kind of out of the way, secluded, off the beaten track. I think it would be a good place to take some Martians.

"Clothing option," and "sunburn easily" sound like a horrible combination. Martians would either be totally unlikely to sunburn, or, maybe, since they've been living underground all these eons since their early industrialization destroyed their atmosphere, very very susceptible to sunburn-- better check with the interpreter first.

I was picturing a deserted area covered with wrecked planes, trains, automobiles, etc. That would be kind of cool.

My friend Andrew's place! We'd have so much fun, listening to Blind Guardian, playing role playing games, showing them the wonders of Squaresoft games and then, finally, going to bed at like 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning after talking since 1:00 about nothing and everything, including philosophy and religion, in the same bed, a great big fold out couch that can fit three (I'd automatically shotty it, so they'd have to learn the rules of shotty first. Either way, I'm sleeping with the Martians...hope they're small!). Then when we wake up in the morning, we'd play some more video games, eat breakfast and mock Noam, Scott and anyone else we have reason to mock at the time. And, of course, they would return, worshipping Chris "Blogg" Blogg as a God. Why? Because Blogg is the coolest, nicest, most innocent person ever! They'll make him their Deity of Purity and Love. Hehehehe...

Fisting? I always assumed it was kinky goat sex with lubricated camel innards...*shrugs* Well, ONE social mistake isn't going to be TOO bad...

One should never assume...........

A museum, of course, it shows about our history n' all that stuff.

A museum, of course, it shows about our history n' all that stuff. Then again take em' to Albert park W.St.paul Dodd road Minnesotta, the smallest park in the U.S.A.! I live one block away from it.

dinner at a multicultural buffett

Do aliens wear clothing?

Take um to an Alice Cooper concert.They'll feel right at home!!!

I've been to an Alice Cooper concert. I've never seen Tom Petty, though. You have good taste!

Multicultural buffett.....now why didn't I think of that one???
(clapping,clapping,clapping)
"Good answer,good answer."

(bowing) Why thank you!!!As do you.. Doesn't his show just rock? He's got the greatest theatric's of any artist.Never a dull moment at his concerts,tht's for sure.I can hardly wait till he performs again in southern California.
If you ever have the chance to see Tom Petty,you simply must get tickets,the guy is awesome & he plays all his greatest hits.You will not be disappointed I promise you.
However,Alice is still my 1st choice.He ROCKS!!!!

see above comment it was intended for you I think.

Thanks

I saw

Oh yeah, that's just peachy, alien vomit spewed for kilometers. LOL

I understand there is an ambassador's position on Uranus. I am submitting your name.

Well, make up your mind! Which is it?
Theme Park - an overdose of tactile: audio/visual
Carnival - an overdose of sexual: oral/anal

Unfortunately we don't have time to take them to your house.

So, you are suggesting we take them to a comedy?

Zang, you are a person of many facets. So, what in the Museum of Anthropology at UBC would you most like them to see?

Tell me more about this Wreck Beach, please.

Disney Land, but not Disney World. Any reason why?

Ahhh...a homogeneous display of audio pleasures. Any favorites you think they should hear?

So, what is your equally cool recommendation?

So, you would opt for a natural display and nothing of human achievement?

Whoa! Don't know if I can take all the audio/visual input without suffering further brain damage. Nice choice. Any particular reason?

Well, I wanted them to see how beautiful Earth is in some places. But, you're right, they should also see human achievement, too. Maybe we can go to DC and then on to Virginia Beach.

Area 51? It should be entertaining for them, huh?

They've been here.

What I like shouldn't matter. If I was choosing the music based on what I like, it wouldn't be a fair representation of earth. Besides, I already chose a concert because I love music. I shouldn't choose the music. But I like R&B.

My answer was museum. I assumed from the question that the Martians are not openly hostile nor do they have an obvious military or technological advantage over us. (Again, just an assumption). I also imagined for some reason that the Martians are a furtive and elusive lot. I figured that we humans could gain a interesting range of information on the Martians by observing how they react to our cultural artifacts in an non threating fashion.

I don't know, how did this get qualified without that option?

Well, they don't have to lay about in the sun all day, I was thinking it would be a quick visit after the museum, it being so close and all.

I guess the name comes from a shipwreck...beats me.

I think it depends. The ones that look more or less human usually wear those shiny purple jumpsuits. The ones that are just enormous blobs of slime don't need clothes.

Well, I'd assume that they would be interested in all kinds of earthling oriented stuff. The museum focuses on our local natives, but it has displays on all kinds of cultural artifacts from all over the world. I didn't have any particular one in mind. Here's a link:
http://www.moa.ubc.ca/menu.html

What do you want to know about Wreck Beach?

Hey,don't mention it.Your the coolest!

I meesed up again.Your response from me about Alice Cooper was done under ASB.Please scroll back about 22 entries.I'm so sorry about that.I was so excited to respond to you that I failed to change the name.

Answers can vary but doesn't it depend on the people? If we did have guests from Mars we would have to have communication and therefore a knowledge of them. And if they were the master race they would be laughing at our slow processing of technology.

Nah they need a hanky

I understood when I read it, that it was meant for me.

So you were fired?

Disney Land is in California. It's the only one I've ever been to so I vote for it.

Oh, Oscar, I'm sorry to go commercial on you, but Disney World is amazing! You gotta get there one time in your life. I've been three times. The last in 1999 to take my sons to see it. It is incredible.

Now as for my Martian visitors...I was thinking something less commercial, but please convince me to take them to Disney Land...

LOL LOL LOL LOL
Got me!

Hmmm...I can't speak for the Martians, of course, but might you know of a...ahhh...hey, wait a minute! Everybody can read this...never mind...I have absolutely no interest in...ahhh...can we get back to the question at hand...ahhh...demonstration of human achievement...(psst...call me later...we'll talk).

Thanks,I just now looked up to see if infact that I had your name in the little box,& not someone elses...Whewwww! Talk about getting paranoid.
Where do you & your sister live??Just being nosey....

"time machine in their pocket"! There ya go stereotyping again. Can't a Martian get a little respect around here. Ever since that idiot "Marvin" did those pics with Bugs, Mars has had a bad rep. And another thing, they are not green. Those are jerks from Neptune. Martians are transparent as is the insanity of this response.

PS - Keep the mushrooms for later, I'll be back.

OW! First you have to determine which...ahh...orifice...ahhh...is most likely to produce the desired results...which...ahh..can be difficult with aliens in general and Martians in particular.

I take it you have some previous experience in this area?

Ahh...exactly what does a Hare Krishna Sunday Feast entail? Sounds interesting. Why is this the best demonstration of human cultural achievement to take them to?

A most thoughtful answer. Thanks.
I deduce, of course, you mean something other than the "Brady Bunch Reunion"

It would freak them out! And it's only 15 minutes on the subway from my apartment. I think the aliens would like the subway ride, too. Panhandlers get very creative in trying to get the commuters to give them money.

I liked your Theatre response. However, you're probably right about showing them nature before we destroy it all. Planet won't be fit for Human or Marian consumption in another 1000 years.

I live in Louisiana and she lives in Alaska.

Ah ha! Another Martian stereotyper! Bet you think Martians only run around in them there flying saucers, too. Where in fact they actual operate vehicles not entirely unlike Ford Edsels. With about the same fuel efficiency. So there!

Your enthusiasm is contagious. I just hope for the Martians' sake, you are not.

Ahh...could you explain the rules of shotty? (he asked knowing he will be sorry later)

Rumor has it you live in Albert Park, third log from the left of the squirrels' nut bin. However, this sounds like a nice place to take Martians. What would they do in Albert Park...other than visit the nut bin?

Please explain a bit more. Thanks.
Any excuse to dine with enchanting you is sufficient for me, but the Martians are pickier.

No, they do not wear clothing as we know it. They smear sounds all over their bodies and greet each other affectionately by rubbing their audio sensors one against another.

Are you getting kinky again?

You mean you'll feel right at home. Is Alice still touring.
I thought he gave it all up for golf?

What option is that, dear actress?

You being the expert on enormous blobs of slime and all?

sounds like you are

No, only your slow processing of technology. But don't let that keep you from recommending what you feel is the best demonstration of human cultural achievement to take them to.

Warmest regards,
The Neptunians

I would like to go to Louisiana for the day just to sample the foods.
Hummm I can't think of any really good foods in Alaska.

NO,no!!The guy still tours.As a matter of fact I saw him last year down in San Diego at a place called "Humphereys By the Bay" Took my teen son & two of his friends.It was my sons third concert(Santana being his 1st,War the second & Alice Cooper) It was his friends 1st concert ever & they were totally blown away.I've seen Alice a couple times before in the 70's but his last appearance was the best.He had a Halloween theme at Six flags Magic Mountain last year unfortunately I missed that.
You know that he also has a restaurant in the town in which he lives. It's either,Arizona or Las Vegas Nevada. Why are you a Copper fan also??

Oh, yes, an Alice Cooper fan from the 1970's. His was the kind of music you put on at 2:00 AM to really piss off the neighbors. Not that I would have EVER done that mind you...hem...haw.

N'Orlans food. (sigh) Oh how I miss hurting myself with a two pound tray of overly spiced crawfish, red taters, corn and some cold brews while listening to some homegrown jazz in the background.

Oh, the hell with the Martians...I'm going to N'Orlans

Yep,yep!! Exactly!! When my nosey next door neighbor would piss me off I would crank up my "Go to Hell" song from the same CD cut.My husband would cringe,& say "Now who pissed you off this time?"

I wanna go to New Orleans just to eat,oh & Brazil too to eat,drink & be merrie.Have you been to New Orleans many times Brian?

Wow! How many times have I been to N'Orlans? About three dozen. I worked outta Houston for a time and I have had friends in N'Orlans since the 70's. We made the seven hour journey many times. Also I worked in Donaldsonville, LA briefly (just north of N'Orlans) and escaped southward every chance I got.

Vous le vous les boms temps roille. (I think that's how you say it.)

When I was in catholic school I could speak French.It been so long now ....But yes I used to work with a girl from N'Orlans & she had the cutest accent.I loved to hear her talk.You even pronounce N'Orlans the way she did.
I've tried to duplicate the stuff that comes in boxes in the stores but,I'm not happy with it.Disneyland has some Louisiana food in the New Orleans square.That's as close as I've come to eating that kind of food.Hummp! I'm jealous!! I want the real stuff!!

The "I don't know" option. Because I don't know, and if I tried to get a survey through without all of my options, you guys would have a fit.

Well, I personally am scared of the rides, so either way, it doesn't matter to me. How about I change my answer.
Take your visitors to North Dakota. Show them around the barren land. Maybe they could see the northern lights or some canucks.

Pub

lol lol lol
a brady bunch reunion would be most UNLIKE real interaction between family members!!!

Ahh...exactly what does a Hare Krishna Sunday Feast entail?

Chanting Hare Krishna.
Talking about Krishna
eating food that has been offered to Krishna.

Sounds interesting.
Thank you! Hare Krishna!

Good food in Alaska? How about king crab and salmon? Yum!

I think that New Orleans style restaurant in Disneyland is called the Blue Bayou and their food IS fabulous!! I remember one particularly fabulous dinner there with Mandy many years ago.

Blue Bayou...Yep that's it alright!On my daughters 1st birthday,we took the kids to Disneyland & that was the only decent restaurant to eat at in there.
Isn't that something? You live like a gazillion miles from Disneyland & you remember the name of the restaurant.See I told you what happens when you hit my age 48/49 the mind goes.
So much better than Zatarains.

I'm sorry. I did not see your recommendation for an "I don't know" category. Please forgive a first timer's error.

But I don't understand. You are a bright creative individual, don't you have a recommendation for me?

Ahhh...maybe I better rephrase that!
(anxiously awaiting her response)

An admirable recommendation. Any pub in particular?

Hey, yer jealou? I'm stuck down here in "gaucho-land" (pronounced gaw-uuu-show in Portuguese) with nothing that even comes close to N'Orlans food. (sobbing uncontrollably)

These Brazilian cowboys know how to "burn beef" pretty good, but don't let 'em near seafood.

Good idea. Thanks!

So, I can bring the Martians to see your family?

SueBee, yer hurtin' me!

I have a distant cousin in Alaska who flies charters for mountain climbers and skiers. Maybe I can talk him into sending me down some king crab and salmon. (drool)

Maybe not though. I was underwhelmed by his latest CD of country music, and made the mistake of telling him so. Okay, scratch that one.

Say! Are you going to Alaska any time soon? (he said with a wide grin)

Yeah, but ain't it great to know yer body still turns heads?