It's all right to cry ...

I haven't cried in nearly three years. And what spurred that was the single most traumatic experience of my life. The death of my son. Nothing has been bad enough since then to cause me to cry.

I cry a fair amount. It's basically my response to any really moving emotional experience. So not just for sadness, but also joy and anger and pain--anything intense, really. I think it's good, I have read studies that say it does good things for one's brain chemistry balance. And I think that it's always good to express emotions (although certainly choosing the time & place may be appropriate). Repression is one problem I don't have.

I don't cry as often as I used to (I remember a survey similar to this but it was a zillion years ago) crying is an indication of an emotional state, which is in turn an evaluative/normative reaction to real-world events measured against your scale of values, so to cry for the sake of crying is someohw 'cheapening' it (I guess. .) Often, I will wake up crying after a vivid dream. I find that strangely cathartic. And, on a couple of occasions I've cried during sex (After climax) and that's usually weirdly cathartic too. I'm just as likely to bust out laughing which can be unsettling for my partner(s). Am I oversharing yet?

I don't think crying is limited to sad emotions; other strong emotions can make me cry too sometimes

Wasn't it Rosey Grier who sang "It's all right to cry...crying takes the sad out of you.... It's all right to cry... it might make you feel better."? I know, I know, I must be old if I can remember *that*. I think it's important to cry when you feel like it but I hate HATE loathe and abhor crying in front of non-family persons. And then when they try to help and get all worried I hate it that I just cry harder. I especially hate crying at work. Ew. But it is important to cry. I find the car is a good place.

movies rarely make me cry but it does happen once in a while. Sometimes I cry when I'm really really happy too. I have never cried because of a really wonderful creme brulee but I've been in the presence of someone who did.

I cried at Titanic. Then about a half-hour later on the drive home I started up again. Then I took a Midol and felt much better.

I'm an odd duck when it comes to crying. If it is something serious in my life that has made me sad, I'd rather be off by myself crying (if I cry at all, which often I don't until my emotions get the best of me and I have a 2 minute fit of hysterics followed by my acting like nothing happened...) However, I cry quite readily at movies, TV shows, even bloody commercials can make me cry. Damn hormones. I've cried after sex too, if it was _really_ good.

Rationally, I think it's fine to cry any time. But I still find it humiliating when I can't keep from crying, particularly in professional settings. I do love crying at movies.

Crying is something personal for me so I tend not to in public and find that I need to be alone to deal with my feelings, whether sad or otherwise.

I didn't mark 'third-person events' but a movie or news story can make me cry if it reminds me of a personal event.

Ugh...I love crying...but, I discovered yesterday that I can not cry out of my left eye for some reason. Has anyone else had this experience, where they can cry in one eye but not the other?

If I *have* to, I will cry in public. I mean, I have cried all day at work. I minded. A lot. But I didn't want to admit to myself that I just couldn't deal. But I just couldn't deal.

I cry at almost any truly touching moment. I admit I've even cried at commercials ... it was a long time ago. I'm really tempted to delete that...

***lizzie - it's so good to know I'm not alone! :)

tsk tsk tsk...you didn't mention tears of joy! I don't get to the point of sobbing but when something truly touches me I have been known to smile with tears running down my cheeks (greetings cards can do it to me depending on who they're from)

I don't actually feel like crying very often and I don't think that's really a problem in my life (once a week would be serious work for me). I do tear-up at movies and sometimes if a song really moves me - but that's a far cry from truly crying, well it's similar but shorter. I am almost always either alone or in darkness when I tear up. If people could see me I would probably attempt to avoid crying (and I would succeed). I think it's not ok for a man to cry in our society. I know if I were to see it, I couldn't help but think he was a wussy (sorry, I'm just being honest).

If something touches me emotionally, it doesn't have to be sad, it will make me cry. Songs have come to the brink of making me cry before, just because they are so emotional.

I used to cry more when I was stressed out and sleep deprived all the time. In school I cried a couple times at crits-- I hated that so-o-o much, I could have been wetting my pants for how much it embarassed me- I think b/c I thought I really **aught** to be able to take any critisism of my work; that's what I was there for. In fact, a couple times I just cried because I was so exhausted and overwhelmed- I stayed up working, knowing that it was okay to freak out, and have as much of a fit as I wanted to, as long as I didn't stop working to do it.

Now a days, if the crying is for something personal, I'm willing to cry around strangers, but am *very* particular about who among people I know that I'm willing to cry around. If I'm in a group of people when I become upset, I might choose one or two whom I really trust and pull them aside to someplace private, then cry at them.

I'll cry for a good movie or song in a concert or something, I'm not at all shy or ashamed of that.

I don't cry. my self control won't allow it. I can't release my control enough to let this out, if I do, I might let other things out and that would be bad.

The answers seem to associate crying with sadness. For me it's a lot of strong emotions... I might cry or I might not, but the urge needn't be caused by sadness per se.

I hate crying, even though it can be a good release. I associate crying with defeat, despair and manipulation which I don't like to participate in.

I used to not cry. I still don't very often. What's with this "supposed to cry once a week" crap?

I do not consider myself to be overly sentimental. I do not cry at movies, but I do cry if I am very, very happy (apres sex) or very, very sad (death). I can also cry if I am 'wallowing in self pity' & if my friends cry because they are scared or upset. I also can cry when I am very, very frustrated with another person.

tcb: welcome aboard!

i can shed tears onstage more easily than in real life.

i have been known to cry at sad movies. i also cry at appropriately sad personal events - usually just around jamey but on occasion around very close friends.

Children's books make me cry, and I hate it. I can't get through "Courderoy" or "Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse" without bursting into tears. I don't understand this. I like reading aloud, and this really interferes - I have to read these books a lot before I can get through them. I also hate crying in public, or crying when I am frustrated or angry, which happens much more than crying when I am sad. It takes a situation where I already feel like I don't have enough control and takes it even more out of my control.

Cry when you have to, it's good for the soul.

When it is personal, I don't cry in public. But for a sad movie, I'll cry in public. I try to do it quietly tho.

I cry because it is OK to feel sad. I cry when it reflects something about me, or evokes a certain response. I think I am an intellectual crier, I cry because of a concept not emotions. I will cry at the idea of never having spoken to someone when I think it could have evolved into an experience or that I see in them a remarkable facit that will remain unexplored, but will not cry at the thought of a friends death. Strange I know but that it the way things work for me. To not experience is to not have ever been, to lose is to let go of what has already become and passed.

I think if you need to or feel like it, just go ahead and do it.

All people should be able to cry whenever they feel the need to cry. It's a normal, human reaction to some kind of stress or shock.

I picked a fairly eclectic mix: the first three options. I used to be able to cry and now no longer can, even if I want to.
**elijahblue: Did you ever find crying to be cathartic? I find the "once a week" odd, but I wouldn't call it "infinitely bizarre".

I rarely cry, and something earth-shatteringly horrible has to happen for me to cry in front of others. That's only happened a few times in my life. It seems infinitely bizarre to me that someone would decide to "cry once a week for good mental health." *daver: I didn't mean it would be weird for someone to happen to cry like once a week. I meant it would be weird for someone to consciously decide to cry once a week because they thought it would be good for their emotional health. First of all it seems like it would be hard to even do (unless you perhaps start striking your thumb with a hammer or something). Secondly it does somehow seem to cheapen "real" crying to me. Thirdly, if crying has positive effects, it's probably due to tension release, not to the crying per se. * lisashea: not looking for clarification or debate... just trying to explain my comment to daver, k?

I don't tend to cry easily in personal situations (I'm very much a "deal with the situation and worry later" person), but last night I was watching The English Patient alone and was crying at the end. Before that I was happy! Is making yourself sad a good thing? I have a psych book on my desk (one of those 'ways to improve yourself' things) and it says that once a week you should get yourself to cry, to work through sad feelings that maybe you've been bottling up. What if you really don't have anything to be sad about? What if this past week had been quite great for me, and then I watched The English Patient and was sad "for no real reason"? Bob had to come home from band practice and listen to me mope about caves for an hour.

I thought there'd been a similar survey, but I searched a while and didn't find anything ... and yes, Jody, I got it from "Free to Be You and Me", one of my favorite movies :)

Pomeranian: - you just mean your tear duct is stopped up, right? That can happen for all sorts of reasons. It could be infected, who knows. Try putting a warm washcloth on it.

ElijahBlue: The thought (as I've read it) is to watch a sad movie or something to "get you in a crying mood", and when you are, then you would naturally start to think about other sad things that maybe you normally avoid thinking about and "get it all out". And that this will help you cry more easily (and release the pain) when you do need to cry.

EB: I know :) Just figured if you were curious, others might be curious and I'd explain where that thought originated.

im depressive so i cry constintly. it really sucks

I haven't cried in so long I can't remember it. Dunno if its good or bad.

I don't include intense physical pain or movies (because THE ENGLISH PATIENT was all about intense physical pain) in this count.

why should crying be something to be ashamed off?