What's the funniest thing you've ever said?

When I was a little kid - really young now! - I was in a shopping cart my dad was pushing. Out of nowhere, and at the top of my lungs I shouted, "Dad, look! That's the absolute fattest lady I've ever seen!" Needless to say, embarassment was handed out in generous portions to both my dad and the 'fattest lady I've ever seen'.

Honestly, i don't remember what the funniest thing i ever said was. The degree of humor of a statement is relative; it varies on how late at night it is, how much coffee you've had, and who you're with.

"Life is hard here on the Great Slush Flats of Cambridge."

Hmmm... hard to say. When I've only gotten 4 hours of sleep in two or three nights things tend to seem a lot funnier... :)

I cant translate to english!!! Well, wait a minute... My sister has translated it. It's a expresion I like to say to people who knock my door and ask "Do you believe in Good?". I ever say "No, thanks heaven, I'm atheist!" :)

"Duraph aurh nkjsdu snsuo pugguuhh....that's...mumumumumy howowowowuse!" said while looking at the New Orleans setting (particularly the haunted mansion) at Disneyland... I love New Orleans! SOMETHING CUTE: well, when I was reeeealllly little, I was sitting on my Dad's lap at my friend's dance recital, and this man sitting next to us asked my dad, "So, are you having fun spending time with your cute little granddaughter?" And I said, "That's not my grandpa, that's my Daddy!!!" with a pouting face....the man was embarassed...

I'm afraid I can't think of something right now, but I'm going to answer just to see what all you other crazy folks had to say.

Oh, it's all context. I think the funniest thing I've ever said was "We went to the Marriott" but it was entirely locational.

I am not a very funny person, so it would have to be some joke that I retold.

Okay. So there are these two atoms sitting in a bar. One says "I think you lost an electron." The other one replies, "Are you sure?" 1st atom goes "Yes, I'm positive!" Get it? Positive? Lost an electron? uhh.. Sorry. I had to say it, though.

When I was very young.. about 5 years old my mother had just finished explaining to me that a fat woman I had seen was that way because ahe was pregnant. She neglected to inform me that this only happened to women. So on our way home we got into the elevator and there was this huge fat guy in it. I shouted at the top of my lungs "Mom, I know why that man is fat. He's pregnant." Another odd thing I have done is, one day I was with my Dad in the grocery store... I was about 7 and my parents were divorced at this time. I disapeared and when I showed up again, I was holding a lady's hand. When my Dad approached I blurted out "Look Dad. I found you a girfriend". He was very embarassed and the lady thought he put me up to it. As far as one liners go I once said "I'd jump in that puddle if I had some change to clothes into"

A sense of decency. [reference deleted]

Anything I've said that's funny has been a repeat of what somebody else has said!

"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. What kills us makes us weaker." - [An addendum to a famous quote.]

my mind reels at the thought of trying to answer this question. . .sorry. ask some of my friends....

"You better marry me, you bastard." (Really. You had to be there.)

"Humnn", but you had to be there...

"You just GOTTA see this page at http://www.apocalypse.org/pub/u/bill/bin.cgi/survey.cgi... sorry...

I'm awesome. I always brings a laugh to people. My first name means flower and my second name means happy. I am the happy flower :)

Only funny in retrospect...When I was four, we moved from the boondocks (in Washington state) to a good-sized East Coast town. My mother and I were walking down the street shortly after we had moved, and I stopped in my tracks and exclaimed loudly -- Mom, that man is brown! (I had never seen a person of color before). The man apparently heard us and my mom wanted to die.

"Programming in a Microsoft enviroment is like talking to a Vorlon in an Echer painting"

I've never said anything funny in all my life. No, really. Please stop laughing.

There was a crowd in the courtyard at MIT's Senior House during Steer Roast. Someone swinging on the central tire swing bashed into a woman passing by. She was OK, but everyone stopped and looked, and it was sort of awkward for the woman. I shouted "Stop the Violence against Women!", which got a laugh lightened things up. It's not funny in and of itself, but it was the right thing for the moment.

Teacher, my wee wee is caught in the zipper again.(12th grade)

the words aren't important, it was the delivery

Are we supposed to actually remember that?

"A Giant Squid"

I have no idea. I don't categorize my memory that way, I don't keep reliving the past and any joke repeated to often is just lame. there are many things that were insanely funny at the time, but wouldn't be nearly as funny outside that context.

I'm not very funny.

Don't remember, and am not sure I could pick a top-runner if I did. ***hunter -- I really wanted to give an answer like that, but couldn't remember any examples of those, either.

I don't remember.

Intentionally or unintentionally?

So, this is a very late reply, but does it make me a geek if that actually made me laugh?