How mean are you?

I'm not mean on general principles, but on the other hand when something important is at stake I can be quite nasty (while still being polite, of course). Usually this means being mean to landlords.

I like to think of myself as kind, but I chose 'sort of,' because I'm not sure that what I think of as kind is the same as what other people do. I am very blunt sometimes, and though I try to temper this with compassion, I don't always get the balance right and end up being hurtfull when it serves no purpose. I can often be confrontational when I get enthusiastic, too, and some people may take this as mean.

I do have a wild love for mean things- Milk&Cheese, for a fine example of random meanness and violence, and I enjoy cutting word play with my friends. Mean things pop into my mind a lot as a response to something someone says or does, but I only tell close friends who will understand that I don't *really* feel that way, it just amused me.

I'm very kind, even when other people is not so polited...

I sya things to hurt my daughter's feelings when she makes me angry. (But I apologize afterwards!)

I don't try to be mean, and I think I'm not very aware of when I'm mean, so I can't judge this very well. I get the impression from other people that I'm meaner than I intend to be. Phi or Topper said something about meanness to me over the weekend that unfortunately I can't remember.

It strikes me that the phrase "You're mean!" often shed light on the bad behavior of the person who says it than its intended target.

I have the capacity of meaness, but I try not to be.

Pom: you said it. I can't even begin to voice my feelings on this topic. Well, I will say this. i hate the bumper sticker that says "Mean People Suck"

When I was much younger I think I was much meaner and more manipulative and vindictive, but those were parts of me that I didn't like and I've worked to heal the insecurities that led me to behave that way and to channel that energy into more productive areas, so now I really can't think of the last mean thing I did or said. There are people I should be nicer *about*, but I keep working on it. ***I think that honesty can be used meanly or kindly, it's not simply a good thing.

I don't think I'm mean at all. If anything, I'll take the blame for someone else if I think it will help a situation. If someone's being grumpy, I'll try to figure out why. I will be "honest" though. Someone was mt biking ahead of us and almost ran down a deaf kid. I said loudly in front of his friends, "doesn't he know the kid is deaf? And that walkers have the right of way??" I was hoping his friends would get him to calm down. I wouldn't say something just to make someone feel badly, though, even if the person hurt me.

***hunter: This could be another survey question - I guess I always feel truth is important, that it *can't* be mean or kind. It can be *phrased* well or poorly. You can say to someone, "you're gaining weight, it looks good" or "jeez, you've turned into a fat cow". I would always use well-phrased truth over any lie, though. I could tell my coworker her home-baked bread was completely awful, or that it seems to need more salt. Both would be "true", only one is "constructive" :) Not telling her would not help her improve, which is her whole point in sharing! I've never regretted telling someone the truth, but a few times I have felt badly about my not-quite-perfect wording of it. Which is something I work on. Incidentially I've never had someone be upset with hearing the truth from me (as far as I remember).

What Bill said.

Let's see...there are people I don't like, and sometimes I'll say mean things about them behind their backs. There are public figures I really, really don't like, and I'll often say extremely mean things about them behind their backs. (see e.g. the old survey about when the pope will die.) Um, I sometimes mock my beloved husband for his pack rat ways, although I like to think of this more as attempted attitude adjustment than meanness.

What can I say, sometimes you just don't think and give in to the dark side.

While I am not usually deliberately mean, I have been called 'cruel heartless dog'. I tend to be honest, and if people annoy me, I won't feel too bad if I upset them. Tact isn't really my strong suit.

I try not to be mean, but I can be. Usually I'm snappy at people I don't like. Although is is really meanness if they deserve it?

I picked "a little mean", because "not mean at all" sounded a bit too absolute. The times that i have been mean are very few, but they have happened (the stories my little sister could tell you)

...meaner than a junkyard dog.

(This has been a malicious attempt to insert an old Jim Croce song into your head.)
See how mean I am!

Honesty can seem mean, often I think this kind of meanness is a good thing.

I simply have a generally mean spirit. I enjoy the disasters of others, if possible I'm the one who pushes them into the road. Maybe I'm just a sadist. ***Bill: I like Jim Croce songs. (Maybe I'm a masochist too.)

I have a lot of mean thoughts. When I put in a bid on a house that my fiance and I really liked, and we didn't get it, I hoped the house would fall in on its new owners. When people cut me off, I hope they crash into a Jersey barrier. I guess it's a good thing I'm not able to manipulate the future.

I'm so mean I don't dare show it. All the mean bones in my body are under tight control. I fear the day they find their way free. Meanwhile, the world blithely believes that I'm really nice.

I almost never do things to intentionally be mean. On the rare occasion that I do try to hurt someone, it is because they've hurt me first, whether they realized it or not, and my instinct to lash out has gotten the better of me. Occasionally someone will think I am being mean when I am just being honest (or tactless, depending on your point of view), or when I didn't realize the consequences my actions would have on someone. When I am in a grumpy mood and do not smile or engage readily in small talk, some people might also consider that mean.

*** lisashea: I usually assume the same thing as you do, that telling someone the truth will help them improve. Sadly, no matter how tactfully you word something, some people do not want to improve and there is no point sharing your true response with them (other than for your own principles). It has taken me a *long* time to realize this. With certain people, I will now just say "thanks for the bread," and leave it at that. P.S. speaking as a moody person, I hate when people try to figure out why I am grumpy. If I am just left in peace, later I will be in a better mood.

everyone is a little mean. I am generally not purposefully mean. sometimes I drive like I am from Massachusettes, and sometimes I have nasty thoughts.. but for the most part I try not to do things that would hurt others. **I will also admit to saying things behind people's back, usually in a group that I know won't repeat that as a form of venting to get rid of my frustration. once I have completed this, I am usually over any ill will... there are exceptions.

I don't think I'm a mean person, but I do do mean things sometimes. I don't usually intend them to be mean, but they're thoughtless and do hurt someone.