What are some of your favorite quotes and one-liners?

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.

Twister: Awesome. Did you make that up?

Nope....Brian Warner AKA Marilyn Manson gets the credit for that one! It's from the song Irresponsible Hate Anthem, the chorus of which includes the words
FUDGE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUDGE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
screamed very loudly over and over...I particularly like to sing that part in the shower in the morning before my commute to work. I find it relaxing.

We all go a little mad sometimes. -Norman Bates (Robert Bloch)

boy...I don't even know where to start...I quote everything from science fiction and comedy movies to 1960's television commercials.

I shot Marvin in the face.

Let's start with the corny one's:
"You had me at hello"
"What's your dream?"
"Just breath"
There's a few. Now the serious ones.
"He is no fool who gives that which he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose"
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody's watching, love like you've never been hurt"

Oscar.. I know the Pretty Woman ones... what is "Just breathe?"

Plucked more or less at random from my .fortune file:
"Brewers make wort; yeast makes beer" -Dave Miller
"A man that studieth revenge, keeps his own wounds green" -Francis Bacon
"He's the kind of guy that makes you just wanna staple his dick to a board and *then* ask how much he can take...." -STella
"Life is a gamble at terrible odds. If it was a bet, you wouldn't take it." -Tom Stoppard
"In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again...I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion." -Carl Sagan
"When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary." -Thomas Paine
"It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue." -Voltaire
"Ride a motorcycle. Save Gas, Oil, Rubber, Steel, Aluminum, Parking Spaces, The Environment, and Money. Plus, you get to wear all the leather you want!" -Rich Chandler
"There are more worms unattached to hooks than impaled upon them; therefore, on the whole, says Nature to her fishy children, bite at every worm and take your chances." -William James
"And malt does more than Milton can/To justify God's ways to man." -A. E. Housman

Just breath was from Ever After.
You had me at hello was from Jerry Maguire

"I'm gonna thumb tac your eylids to your forehead, rip out your spine and beat you with it."

"There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over" -Frank Zappa

"I defend my right to be complex." --Leslie Feinberg

"There is no connection between owning a gun and shooting someone with it, and not owning a gun and not shooting someone with it, and you'd be a fool and a Communist to make one." -Bill Hicks (He was being sarcastic, by the way.)

"Don't judge a book by it's movie."

That is a looong list. Two of mine:
"Some are born to gooberdom, some have gooberdom thrust upon them, and some run fanatically into the slavering maw of the Goober God to become THE Big Kahuna Goober." "Politics is the art of concealing incompetance."

"Art is not the mirror we hold up to reality but the hammer with which we shape it." -- Bertolt Brecht
"Formerly the master selected the slave; today the slave selects his master." --Albert Parsons
"Be nice to other people - they outnumber you 5.8 billion to 1!" -Jer Johnson
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." - Pablo Picasso
"Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves." --Henry David Thoreau
"Yes, keep an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out of your head." --Barry Shein

"Never `presume,' because when you do, you make a `prez' out of `u' and `me'." --"The Anarchist Chocolate Dessert Cookbook"
"Your right to swing a frying pan ends at my nose." -old Anarchist proverb
"History is made at night. Character is what you are in the dark." --Lord John Whorfin
"Confusion is good for the soul." -Anonymous

tonnes more, but I'll spare you all.

"I only open my mouth to change feet"
"I do what my Rice Krispies tell me to do"

Oscar - You sound as though you have lost your mind.

from the movie "The Thing" ... "I don't know what it is, but it's weird and it's p*ssed off." (this in response to a severed head that had grown spider legs and was scurrying away)

"Thank you for a day of too much perfection."

"My other personality is holding my brain hostage!!"

Maggie- I may sound like I've lost my mind, but you sound "like one of those sentimental nit-wits I've always pitied." lol

"be nice or be dog food" (Rock and Rule)
"help! help! I'm being repressed!" (Monty Python & the Holy Grail)
"demented and sad, but social" (The Breakfast Club)
"have fun storming the castle" (The Princess Bride)
"back off man, I'm a scientist" (Ghostbusters)
"showtime, synergy!" (Jem and the Holograms)
"oh yes...It will be mine." (Wayne's World)
"why? because we like you!" (Mickey Mouse Club)
"you're polishing the polish...am not...are too..." (60's commercial)
"up at at 'em, Atom Ant!" (Atom Ant cartoon show)
"happy happy... joy joy" (Ren and Stimpy cartoon)
"because of the interesting word usements I structure" (LA Story)
"this chick is toast!" (Ghostbusters)
"home is where you wear your hat!" (Buckaroo Banzai)
"of course you don't have wings, silly...you're a boy" (Dark Crystal)

Way too many to list here. A few samples: "Two WEEKS!?!" (from "Earth Girls Are Easy"), "People are stupider than anybody" (from a friend of mine), "He's kind of cute! I'd do him... If he just wasn't so dumb." (from "The Untamed Heart"), and (distressingly often, of late) "Against stupidity, the Gods themselves contend in vain"

"It is not possible to simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." -Albert Einstein

I've always liked this, in a literal sense, but recently I realized that in relationships you cannot simultaneously create an honest and open interchange and be aggressively defensive.

Qui desiderat pacem præparet bellum (Who would desire peace should be prepared for war).--Vegetius: Rei Militari 3, Prolog.

I'm fascinated by the contradiction between that quote and Topper's quote from Einstein. I think there's a lot of truth in both of them.

And on the day I die - thank god my soul will be released. ~Blind Melon

Shorter of Breath, and one day closer to death. ~Pink Floyd

I would bet that Einstein was familiar with the Vegetable quote and was deliberately contradicting it. I agree there is a lot of truth in both.

Oscar - lol I know, but I am.

I would rather have annoying bickering than feigned indifference. -- Pomeranian

At least you admit to it.

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" -- Steven Wright

"You can't give from an empty cup" (author unknown)
"Sometimes you gotta create what you want to be a part of" (myself)
"Nothing that is human is alien to me" (derived from Freud)
"Now let's blow this thing and go home!!!" (Star Wars)
"All I need are love and respect. And anyone who can't give me those two things has no place in my life." (Torch Song Trilogy)
"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life." (Richard Bach, Illusions)
"Faith is not about knowing what's going to happen - it's about knowing what's worth striving for" (Richard, an old friend)
"And he smiled, and said Reality, is just another word" (Harry Chapin)

Whenever you go, then you are.

Wherever you go, there we are.
A rolling stone killed the cat.

Don't make me happy. You wouldn't like me when I'm happy.

I don't want the world, I just want your half. - They Might Be Giants

I'm afraid you couldn't get a clue if you -were- a clue in clue mating season soaked in clue pheromones standing in a field of clues in heat.

"All rivers flow into the sea, and yet the sea is never full." Qohelet (=Ecclesiastes) 1:7
and on a lighter note:
"Remember, when you are having a bad day, it takes 36 muscles to frown, and only 4 muscles to raise your middle finger." (not sure where I got that one from)

My fave quotes/one-liners are in Dutch. I won´t bore you those!

vos: translations?

Naah.. it´s like translating jokes.. that never works either.

"If you're a pothead, you either go to jail or you go to the White House." -Meredith Vieira

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.
~William Shakespeare

"Everyone has a right to their own opinion" Muhammad Ali

..."and if it's different than your own, just punch them!" (???)

Anything from James Bond (Roger Moore), Jeff Slade (Crime Traveller) and Fawlty Towers!

Hold my breath as I wish for Death. ~Metallica

Okay, one in English. from '1963' by New Order:

I bought this for you because I love you
And I bought this for you, cause it´s your birthday too

Great to put on a card and attach it to a gift you´re giving a dear friend.

"Human beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid." -Dean Koontz, in Seize the Night

Oh my God! That was a great book, and I LOVED that line!! I'm sure I read it out loud to mandy when I came across it. I had forgotten all about it until now.

I read it to magbast too

"I can smell a lie like a fart in the car."

"Is it bigger than a baby's arm?"

Both from Pump up the Volume
I'm going to keep this survey alive.

I don't have one.

"Why can't you just ask how many Barbra Streisand albums they have?"--Joy Behar on The View this morning, questioning the need for "Gaydar".

But that only works for gay men! For women you'd have to ask how many ani difranco albums they have or something.

How many Ani DiFranco albums? Guess that makes me a lesbian.

I don't even have one...guess that makes me...a.....nevermind!

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye

Eeah - Mmmm. The Little Prince. I like that one.

"Are there hunters in your planet?", asked the Fox.
"No, my planet is too small", said the Little Prince.
"That's interesting... Are there chicken?"
"No."
"Well, nothing's perfect!", said the Fox.

(Anybody that knows me can attest to the fact that I'm a big fan of the Fox [and the Little Prince, for that matter] and "Well, nothing's perfect" is one of my favorite quotes. The other one was already mentioned by Eaah.)

Fudge you I won't do what you tell me.

Fear is your only God on the radio.

Brigades of taxi cabs, rollin' Broadway like hearses.

You know they went after King, when he spoke out on Vietnam.

"I hate those Italian guys" ~Magbast's little brother talking about Enrique Iglesius and Ricky Martin.

"Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve;
I wear my underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot."

"Gotta love me" and "Love ya, Love your show"

They: If I remember correct Baby Arm's arm was not that big. He he

my lil brother cracked us up...we were driving somewhere...and talking about ricky martin/enrique iglesius(we were talking about how in the world they sell records)...and my lil bro just pops out with, "I hate those italians"...lol...it was a 'you had to be there' moment

"You sound great. Can I fudge you?"

QUIZ:

1: What movie does that line come from?
2: Who said it (actress' name, not character's)

Is it from Debby Does the Telephone Repairman?

SueBee: OK, try saying the line, but say it sarcastically, like you're talking to your ex-husband's new girlfriend (*clue*).

I give up...

SueBee: Living Out Loud. Holly Hunter said it. She is one of my favorite actors, up there with Kevin Spacey and Tom Hanks.

Yeah, Holly Hunter rocks.

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, & that is not being talked about"

Oscar Wilde

"HARE KRISHNA
HARE KRISHNA
KRISHNA KRISHNA
HARE HARE

HARE RAMA
HARE RAMA
RAMA RAMA
HARE HARE"

The Hare Krishnas

"I know it's only rock n roll, but I like it." -Mick Jagger/Rolling Stones

That's it. I tried to be patient, but this Hare Krishna chant thing is giving me nightmares. Consider yourself filtered.

All time favourite:

"When I hear anyone talk of Culture, I reach for my revolver."
Hermann Goering

TRES SURREALISTE!

"Do the math jerk!" From Me, Myself, & Irene.

Crap happens.

"Go see it and see for yourself why you shouldn't go see it."
* movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn

"We gotta just let it all be, 'cause it all will be however its gonna." -Stephen Stills