What's the worst song you've heard?

"I'm going to hire a wino to decorate my home."

There's this band called Wrestling Superstars Before Surgery. I know you can find them on www.mp3.com. They are the absolute worst. :P

Play That Funky Music White Boy

Don't worry, Be happy....

Don't forget "we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun". BLAH.

'I want a man with a sloooooow hand.'

'Me and You and a Dog Named Boo'

"I need a hero!"

The metal karaoke that my SO's downstairs neighbor plays.

"Bang Your Head"

That achy breaky thing

"Grampa, tell me bout the good old days"

Lots of songs make me grimace and feel rather ill.

'Grandma got run over by a reindeer.'

anything by Elvis or "Achy Breaky Heart"...

"Playground In My Mind" (aka "My name is Michael, I've got a nickel")
"She's Having My Baby" by Paul Anka
"The Logical Song" by Supertramp
"Mother" by The Police (the one where Sting screams about his mother being on the phone)
"Color My World" by Chicago

Oak Ridge Boys "Elvira"..."My heart's on fire for Elvira. Giddy up Um boppa, um boppa, wow wow. hi ho Silver away". Or something like that.

"Peter the meter-reader"

Ooo, topping "MacArthur Park" will be tough. Of course there's "Achey Breaky Heart," but that's such an easy target. What was that tune from a few years ago about "heaven let your light shine down"? What an original concept! No one has done the "shine your light" thing in what, two weeks? And what was with the stupid little groaning "yeawh" after the guitar riff? DUH! However, I don't think anything can match the utterly demonic version (I think it's an alternate version anyway) of Cher's "Believe" where they electronically pitch-shift her voice instead of having her sing it? PAINFUL!!!

I don't know the title, but it goes
"There's a monster in my pants,
and he does a funny dance.
And when I let him out,
the ladies scream and shout,
ooh, ah..."

"I am woman hear me roar."
"This is the song that never ends"
"It's a small world after all."

Oscar: more, more!

Twist: I was thinking of the song that never ends, too.

"I love you, you love me,
let's hang Barney from a tree..."

"Please won't you beeeeeee...my neighbor"

"Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weeeeeener"

Hey!!! I like the Oscar Meyer song!

"My bologna has a first name. It's OSCAR..."
I like that one.

Oscar Meyer rules.

drdt: I LOVE Grandma got run over by a reindeer!

jen: This song is just six words long is another one I like.

jen: It's a parody song. It's not supposed to be taken seriously OR make sense.

No, I've never seen it. Maybe I should look for it. All I know of it are the words I just wrote.

Shake your Bon Bon by Ricky Martin, and that utter piece of crap Will Smith song, about the millenium, rock the casbah whatever the fudge it is. I've never felt hate for a song like I feel for that one.

Afternoon Delight. Probably one of the worse songs to come out of the 70s

pandora: Will2k is a cute song. Of course I am a fan of Will Smith, so I'm biased, but still...

lion: I think that's songs cute.

Jen, Brian: thank you for shattering my illusions.

"No Scrubs" is one of the most annoying songs I've ever heard. I do like the Sporty Thieves "No Pigeons" version, though. It is hillarious!

Afternoon Delight....ARGH.

"This is the song that doesn't end... it just goes on and on my friend... some people stARted singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on singing it forever just because... This is the song that doesn't end..."

mandy, Mariah: you mean that one? :)

YES!!! I'm trying not to get it stuck in my head, now...

SUPPLICANT!!!!!!!! UG!

'Ik zing dit lied voor jou' by Jantje Smit. A *VERY* annoying Dutch kid star. Everyone hates him, still he sells millions of copies!

"New Jersey" by Stanley Matis. Of course he did it on purpose...

"Billy, don't be a Hero"

Fluffball - I always HATED that song! Good choice!

ILJ - I heard somewhere (A radio DJ, I think?) that the distortions in Cher's song "Believe" were an accident, but they liked it so they left it that way. I hated it at first, but it's kind of grown on me. I guess it was a good choice. I think that's her only song that's made it to #1 in many years.

SueBee - It's highly unlikely that they are accidental. The technique is easily duplicated with commercially available audio software like Sound Forge. In fact, I've done it myself! :) What you do is digitally record the vocalist singing the line (or part of the line) in monotone rather than moving up and down along the melody (singing the same note over and over). Then you select the individual sections of the vocal that correspond to the individual syllables and pitch-shift each syllable as needed.

I don't know if that made sense, so I'll try to give an example. The opening melody of "Mary Had a Little Lamb," if sung in the key of C, goes E-D-C-D-E-E-E. You record yourself singing the line as E-E-E-E-E-E-E. Then you look at the resulting sound pattern in your software and divide the sound wave so that each division is one note. If you played just the first division you'd hear yourself sing "Mar" in E. Got that part? Then you select the second section ("y" in E) and use the software to shift the pitch down to D. Repeat with each of the other notes.

So what they did with the Cher tune is they took a section where she's holding one note, let's say it's a C, and divide it up and pitch shift it so that it goes C-D-E-D-C in the same space where it used to just be a C. The results are interesting to say the least, though clearly synthetic sounding since the human voice will sort of "slide" from one note to the next whereas this technique produces a "squaring" or "stepping" effect that sounds more like Stephen Hawking yodeling than anything else. If they're saying that was an accident, I assure you they're full of it. ;)

Any Green Day song

Love Is Blue

ILJ - I follow you. I had no idea that's how the effect was achieved. I assumed they somehow electronically distorted the recording of her voice singing the song regularly, but you sound pretty sure that's the only way that can be done, so I'll take your word for it. I don't suppose you can offer me any advice on how to get my Musicshop software to work properly?

"When I was seventeen........ it was a very good year....." - Sinatra, I think.

Just sort of lilts on forever.

Avocado - I have it on good authority that the Berklee School of Music in Boston uses that song in its pop composition classes as an example of nearly perfect song and lyric writing. Interesting, eh?

Very interesting. Mathematical precision does not equal art...

"Tom's Diner" by Susan Vega. I hate that song. It is irritating and gets stuck in my head everytime I hear it.


Oscar - I like the monster in my pants song. It is fun. Let me know if you see the video, I wouldnt mind seeing it too.

Maggie: It's amazing. It semes that no matter waht forum I'm on, what chat room I'm in, I'm the ONLY Suzanne Vega fan in the pack!

Brian: I like her too :)

Did she sing "My name is Luca." ?

I like Suzanne Vega, especially her self-titled CD.

they, bill, and twist: Thank God! For once I'm not alone on something!

Tom's Diner is the only song I have ever heard by her.

We just completed our collection of Suzanne Vega albums - my husband far prefers her later ones where her husband, Mitchell Froom, produced. As for Tom's Diner, there's a spoof of that called Jeannie's Diner with the melody/backing of Tom's Diner and words about the TV show I Dream of Jeannie - it's very funny and rumored to have been sung by Suzanne herself.

I was sitting in....dah, dah ,dah, dah....

Oscar - you forgot some dah's

The Attack of the Killer Tomatoe's

Raven_Call: That song is a Dementia classic!

Brian...Sorry I didn't realize(as I hang my head in shame) are you really my husbands best friend in disguise?? He actually bought the movie!

Raven_Call: All my friends are here, so I doubt it.

That awful Alanis Morrisette (?) song containing the line "Isn't it ironic". Bleah. I like Suzanne Vega too, though a few of her songs I could do without. For those of you who have strong positive or negative feelings about her, I recommend the song "I Want To Be A Mysterious Woman", by Christine Lavin. Delightful parody.

Brand New Pair of Rollerskates or anything by Barbra Streisand.

Isn't it ironic.

lonxedosol: I used to like Babs until she became a psycho-dog control freak with delusions on granduer. That's why I found that Mecha-Streisand episode of South Park so funny.

Jody: Jeannie's Diner is on a compilation album of Tom's Diner covers (including a cover by Billy Bragg). It's not by Suzanne Vega, but you should get it for your collection!

My most hated song:
"Aaaa-gaaa-Doo Doo Doo
Push pineapple
Shake the tree
Agadoo doo doo
push pineapple
grind coffee
to the left
to the right
jump up and down
and to the knee
come and dance every night
sing to a hula melody"

Some hideous British men in hawaiian shirts sang it in the 80s. It was stupidly popular.

Afternoon Delight---that sucked

Anything by anybody. Music blows giantic donkey dicks.

I can not think of one at the moment, but I am sure there are plenty that I just can not stand.

Anything by Jimmy Buffet

The Thong Song

"The Rose." A couple of my friends in college used to sing it to torment me.
Oh, and anything from "The Phantom of the Opera."

"Playground in my Mind" by Clint Holmes.

Acky Breaky Heart

"The Only Thing That Looks Good is You" and "I Want to Sex Up" are the worst songs I've ever heard.

Barbie Girl by Aqua