If you were going to audition for a talent show, what would your talent be?

The question asks my talent.....hmmmmmmm
I don't think I would do a talent show because even though I've done some community theatre and do Karaoke, I don't think I'd enjoy acting or singing in a talent show. As for what I'd like to endure as an audience member...I love good stand up comedy.

My talents do not lie in the performance genre.

I'd try my own stand up comedy routine.

Yeah, there is actually a talent show in school and last year I wanted to make a comedy routine. I don't know if I'm funny enough, but if I really tried.. maybe I'll try this year, I just need to capture some of my greatest witty things.

Telling a funny monologue? ....... People find it amusing when I go on my "Men are different from women because..................." rant

'I' would play music instruments like harmonica and guitar. Glad to help.

I'm still voting for the Oz scarecrow song.

I'd practice a speech on the greatness of Samuel Beckett.

Yes that's a talent.

> Yeah, there is actually a talent show in school
> and last year I wanted to make a comedy routine.
> I don't know if I'm funny enough, but if I really
> tried.. maybe I'll try this year, I just need
> to capture some of my greatest witty things.

You definitely are funny enough. At least on here you are, don't know what you are in person.

> Telling a funny monologue? ....... People find
> it amusing when I go on my "Men are different
> from women because..................." rant

Go on...

Am I answering this for you or me?



My talent would be replying sarcastically to poorly made surveys.

I was getting stressed out from reading the question (me, talent? um...), but then as I read the explanation and realized this is not about me but about the survey author who actually has talent...(*phew*)

Well, I don't know. I suppose something pithy like Hamlet "to be or not to be" and all that (maybe that's overdone, though). Or, something from the trial in To Kill a Mockingbird. Or, singing... Amazing Grace or Somewhere Over the Rainbow usually go over well.

Honestly, for me, talent shows seem like something one must endure not enjoy. I can't stand American Idol. So, I'm just not the person to ask.

Magic tricks.

I am not sure, do you want to know what I would do? or what I think you should do? or what I expect in a talent show? or are you looking for suggestions?
How many more words do you want in my essay?
To answer the question, I would do a stand up comedy act, give me props and I'm off (said one lunatic to another)
What ought you do? hth should I know. What would I like to see at the show?
Singing to a piano, you cannot go wrong. If you screw up, fall down a few times and use the piano as a prop forr a joke and you'll be a winner.

...........Why is that? your spouse/GF comes home and says she had a good day yadda yadda and she broke a nail etc etc, later on that night yu make your "move" and she says 'What the fudge is wrong with you, I tell you I broke a nail!!! and what do you want???

Guys now are different he can come home and say his best friend just got killed in a car accident and you say to him "Come upstairs I will make you feel better" and he will sniffle and say "yea lets do that'

Its a generalisation, but its true!!! ....... do you ever remember when you were courting? your wife gives you a lollipop in the car? swallows your come and goes "mmmm" afterwards? you do sooo much freaky stuff you cant even look each other in the eye the next morning? cos you cant beleive you did that nastiness? 5 years on, you even deem to bring it up its "That was then, This is Now" what the fudge is with that?............. etc etc its better when I can gesticulate and tell it live...............

Regards David

I'd love to see you do it live.

I have my own version of it, too.

Sing

Thank you!

You're welcome.

Play the piano

My talent would be singing.
Check me out at:
http://myspace.com/swingtette
http://myspace.com/wallyseventee
PS. I've auditioned for several talent shows including the X Factor! Only once did I come close to any kind of success, when I reached the finals of a singing comp. at a local night club...I was handed the chorus to the Monkees' "Daydream Believer" and decided to improvise around it rather than sing the melody straight, to a chorus of boos from the audience. One of the comperes then turned to me and said: "You blew it, Carl". He seemed genuinely upset when he said it, as if he knew I should have won.

Very nice.
Jim is like the harmonica version of Stephan Grapelli.
In your own mixes you need to soften the highs a bit (sounds like you're recording in a hardwood room), like maybe a compressor and few milliseconds of chorus/delay tacked on the 400-800 hz range. Maybe just step back from the mic a bit and wrap it with dense silk.
If you could find the right venue there's no reason you couldn't be a success. If you could find a glittering ball room dancing lounge on a whaler's dock, you'd be in. I don't think pop culture or CD's are the ticket. You just need to find the right themed night club, preferably one where couples escape for the weekend in 20's fashion. Your music isn't designed to be the center of active stage attention, it's designed to set mood for people who's attentions are elsewhere. Thus you want a hotel where people pay high (thus you are paid high) because the whole experience was great, unaware of how much you contributed to that.

It might actually be worth hooking up with a professional costume designer too, someone who can zero on just the right sea captain look without looking goofy in a glamorous moonlit ballroom context. It could takes months on eBay to find the right jacket, one that both sets that mood and makes your heavy frame more crisp in intent. Maybe a vertical dracula-cone collar in a navy houndstooth tweed long-coat with scrimshaw horn-tip bow-knot closures over an irish macrame collar hem. Vertical, recessive, natural, punctually-tailored yet soft. Immaculate, adept, commanding, full of narrative history, yet soft and hidden into the woodwork. Black canvas jeans with nautical embroidered seams, and padded suede boots with blue-gray tarnished nickel-brass buckles. ..and all this without standing out much unless someone actually checks you out. You get the idea, make it apparent that you are a pro performer selling an unforgettable experience. You can't compete with network dance show spandex trapeze studs so don't even try.

Naked Hat Dancing, of course.

Thank you for the encouragement. Jim would be flattered to hear that; Grapelli was a master. You're right: Pop culture is not the right arena for our kind of music. Many ask me why we're not playing live; but it was conceived as a recording project. The '20s theme angle is an excellent one: there is plenty of nostalgia for that era today in many big cities. I love your hyper-imaginative descriptions of a possible costume for me; you write amazingly well! And the clothes described sound fabulous...and I'd love to wear them, although as you say it'd have to be the right venue. In some of the places near me, I'd not go down too well in such admittedly splendid attire! Thanks for your reply, Krystal...both encouraging and highly entertaining...thanks!

High-end talent is breaking away from mp3s and doing exclusive show content instead. There's no money in free distribution. Maybe a sample, but once you move up to four songs they may live with that and never come to see you.

Plus as I said, not that you aren't worth paying attention to, but you aren't center of attention sort of music, less so than Morrison, Al Stewart, or Planxty. This means you wont be the pop-hook subject of attention when people select something to play. They may enjoy hearing you as much, but won't think to select you in the first place (and becoming that sort of music would compromise what you do best just as it does with U2). So yeah, your friends are right; You are a 'live' sort of music. You're also an ecclectic enough niche that you need a big city audience, though not necessarily a big city. This is why I suggested glamorous vacation retreat hotels, where someone has preselected some nostalgic fantasy mood before flying in from any metropolis.

If you think your music is hard to find a matching venue for, have you heard mine yet? http://ereiam.com/foundation/arts/music/songlist.h...

If you're willing to travel or research to step up your career, you might research folks like Al Stewart and the crooners, see where they actually gigged besides Vegas. You might find something like a palace in Canada you'd love to winter at which played such folks with great success in the 90's (If not several decades), and could be talked into such again. Unfortunately, unless you fit in at the local night clubs or recording at home for iTunes and donations is all you need, or have an agent & producer, actually producing music might be a small part of a musicians career. The world is producing free pro-quality mp3s faster than anyone could devote 24/7 to sampling them. People have to trust each other for filtered references now, and getting on those lists is the trick for promotions.

I'm thinking now that the subconscious inspiration for that costume idea was Captain Horatio McAllister of the Simpsons http://blogs.sfweekly.com/shookdown/seacaptain.jpg , owner of the Frying Dutchman.

I'd make a grilled cheese sammich

Sounds good... but sounds BETTER with some tomato soup!

I suggest you do the nude scenes from the musical "Hair"... Even if you sing or act lousy who will care...

Well, my last talent night talent were animal calls. Crows, dogs, owls, wolves, chickens, roosters, raccoons, cats, hawks, etc. Freaked some of the people out. Called me a witch. Well, that is one sign of being blessed by the wiccan way. The ability to mimic.

Can you talk to any of them?

LOL, I'm thinking of the parrot paradigm in reverse, and some crows or racoons saying to each other of us, "Dang, it's smarter than I thought, it doesn't just mimic, it actually talks!"

I gathered that parrots (in their native tongue) speak in onamatopoeic verbs, sounds that mimic flight patterns, in which the dance geometry contains the message content. I used to converse with a parrot in this manner. Come to think of it, it's not unlike the guitar jam sex I was having with a neighbor last night.

I'd bake a cake.

Playing the piano and singing probably.

This is similar to my survey

I have a knack for slack.

I know what you're saying: free distribution has its drawbacks. And you're right: swing-style music has a limited audience. I'm not familiar with Planxty (I'll have a listen at youtube), but have always loved Al Stewart, at least the albums I've heard: I remember "Love Chronicles" as a kid; caused a bit of a stir with what was still quite graphic language for the day... My favourite is probably "Time Passages". I had a listen to your music today: it's different from mine to say the least, but I enjoyed it. It defies comparison (which is good: so much avant garde music today is derivative) but some of it put me in mind of Stockhausen, and some at times, also Beefheart; Syd Barrett. And of course, Fripp who you mention. But ultimately it's pretty unique, with elements of Blues, Jazz, experimental. I got quite spaced out once or twice which I didn't expect. Thanks again for your encouragement re. my songs: I think playing live has got to be the way forward!

Thanks. It's nice to have someone get it, or even find someone aware of Stockhausen, Barret, & Fripp. Yeah, it can have a way of automatically evolving beyond where the mind resides, and that is much the idea. I'm thinking to call this first collection 'Lonely Monster', and move on to 'Blue light and gingerale'. Alas, I don't have clean copies of 'Stalking glimmering blue' (Stravinsky Rites inspired) or 'Tree kangaroo shopping spree invasion at Boroder Beach temple, Java'.

I just got myself a Taylor travel guitar last night. I needed something acoustic (for jam visits without an amp), and this thing, at only a pound or two, has some of the best loud full-bodied resonance and range of standard guitars in twice it's price range. I'm thinking to paint it, perhaps in a paisley fairy pond motif.

do a musical - combining your singing and acting skills