Would this bother you in any way?

nope

Not at all, as he is trustworthy and I am not insecure.

I don't think so. My SO is in touch with some of his exes through facebook (and others whom he's always been in touch with). It doesn't bother me. I suppose if he actively went searching, and announced it to me, that might be a little different, but I don't think it would bother me.

This has happened. I was only bothered at first because of her remarks after meeting her again for the first time. Other than that, there's no reason I should care at all.

Fine. As long as they don't mind me doing to same.

If they don't like it, what they are saying is that they don't trust you. And with no trust in the relationship, there is no hope!

I would not like it. It is selfish for his/her part. When you love someone, you think of their feelings before your own. "Do unto others, as you'd have them to do unto you". Would you like it done to you? No. I would question why would they want to? Especially if they were really intimate emotionally and/or physically..

I get jealous easily. This is why I keep my wife in a box.

yes, it would bother me quite a bit.

I wouldn't like it. But instead of acting jealous I would try to be all interested and curious about the search so he'd keep me posted about it. Or so I can make him keep me posted about it.

My spouse and I have recently found old crushes/partners wanting to connect with us on a social networking site. We've acknowledged it makes us both a little uncomfortable, but it seems rude to reject a social networking invitation over something in the past, especially after so many years. And maybe connecting with old flames can help heal some past wounds or misunderstandings...

Is her name Helena?

I don't know. It might.

It would bother me.

I think people need to remember that people do not OWN anyone! Wife or husband, it doesn't matter. You don't own them.

People that voted YES to this survey question above are one of the following: insecure, they don't trust their partner, or think they own people.

I would not stay with a partner that had a problem with me being in contact with past partners.

A bit. Not enough to cause a massive issue, but if they were going out of their way to contact just their exes, I'd probably ask why.

I can't say I can.. relate. But, especially if the people in question were particularly better looking than me, I guess my insides might itch and I might light a few candles and pour some champagne in an effort to remind my whoever-he-shall-be that I am one smoking hot babe yeahh.

She already is doing that

a little

A little. My long termer now lives for this, it used to be phone calls but she is catching up to the 21st C.. It isn't anything that should bother me, or has any potential to bother me, it's just that much less time that is spent with me. It really sucks now that she found facebook. The girlygirl at the coffee shop kept pushing her to get on, but I kept telling her no this or no that...finaly the power of facebook nabed by baby which, by the way, I will not be friends with.

as long as they're open with me about it and it doesn't become secretive, I'm okay with it.

Nah. I often do searches for old friends, long lost loves, etc. If Sharon would get over her fear of the computer, I wouldn't be surprised if she did the same. Doesn't everyone?

Yeah. It would. Because I would think that he would be getting tired of me & want a past girlfriend back.

Wouldn't bother me. More power to her. MY GF has several guy friends she keeps in touch with from her past and it doesn't bother me a bit.

Well, if they said I could do it too and they really weren't bothered by it I might be ok with it. But, yes, it would bother me a bit because of past stuff. Depends on the person. Now, if they went way out of their way to search to find these people then I would be very suspicious.

> My spouse and I have recently found old crushes/partners wanting to
> connect with us on a social networking site. We've acknowledged it
> makes us both a little uncomfortable, but it seems rude to reject
> a social networking invitation over something in the past, especially
> after so many years. And maybe connecting with old flames can help
> heal some past wounds or misunderstandings...

Good answer, Jody about possibly healing old wounds. I wouldn't have though about that.

> Well, if they said I could do it too and they really weren't bothered
> by it I might be ok with it. But, yes, it would bother me a bit because
> of past stuff. Depends on the person. Now, if they went way out of
> their way to search to find these people then I would be very suspicious.

Addendum: Actually, I am still friends with my ex-husband. I would like to change my vote. I would be fine with it. I think "integrity" is the key word here.

> Well, if they said I could do it too and they
> really weren't bothered by it I might be ok with
> it.

Why do you need to wait for them to tell you it's okay for you to do it, too? Just do if you want to.

Stalking your exes on Facebook is not the same thing...

> Stalking your exes on Facebook is not the same thing...



But you should check my birthday. I'm an old fart (or gettin' there), so most of my old exes wouldn't know Facebook from a checkbook.

Everyone`s on Facebook. I nearly got a heart attack when my parents tried to add me.

Go right ahead

> Everyone`s on Facebook. I nearly got a heart attack when my parents
> tried to add me.


Yeah? Try to find me there...

wouldn't bother me at all. I trust my boyfriend and he trust me,

I couldn't find you. Did you block your name from being searched?

> I couldn't find you. Did you block your name from being searched?
>

No. I'm not on Facebook. A response to your assertion that "everyone's on Facebook". I'm not. But then, perhaps I don't count...

No, come on, you know what I was saying. I should change my assumption to 'Most of the people are on Facebook nowadays'.

> No, come on, you know what I was saying. I should change my assumption
> to 'Most of the people are on Facebook nowadays'.

Yeah, I'm pullin' yer chain Iseult. I have a tendency to be a wiseass at times, forgive me.

Heh, for a moment I thought I couldn't find you on Facebook because you had all these restrictions on your profile.

Boxing Helena

JINX!

Jody beat you to it, honey.

I saw that but it was too late to retract....poo

> |> Well, if they said I could do it too and they
> |> really weren't bothered by it I might be ok with
> |> it.
>
> Why do you need to wait for them to tell you it's okay for you to
> do it, too? Just do if you want to.
>
> I added an addendum after I sent my answer to the pit. I'm pretty liberal and so was surprised by my first answer so changed it. AND... AND... let's see what really happens when it REALLY happens to people. Let's face it... the internet communication can be a great way to communicate AND it is also a great way to hide and easy when you don't have to look people in the eyes.

Thanks for your reply though.

It really depends on the nature of my relationship with my SO - if they were a long-term partner, I hope that there would be enough trust in the relationship that there would be no question of me taking them at less than their word.

A teeny tiny bit.