Which would be more fun on a date?

I don't really have a preference. I guess I'll say my left and his right. My SO is a lefty, though, and I'm a righty, so if it were the two of us, it would work out well.

A handcuff party...you have got to be kidding. Neither....

This seems like a perfect opportunity to use the "abstain" button.

The girl's left wrist handcuffed to guy's right wrist

OTHER: Both of the girls wrists handcuffed to the headboard, while she's on her knees, face down... So that the guy can put it in her butt.

Why would I go on a date with a girl?

Having her right hand free. Since most people are right-handed she would do a better job of jacking me off.

The girl's left wrist to the guy's right. Why? Because.. oh, this is about ME, right? Because I am deaf in my right ear, so this way I won't have to say "what" a lot.

girl's left wrist handcuffed to man's right wrist..
. I'm right handed. it just would feel awkward the other way. but that depends on what we're doing in the shadows. lol

that sounds like fun,.,, my bad, but that's ok with me. lol

nasty, I like that. lol

option a, but what's the point of this?

woman's left wrist handcuffed to woman's left wrist!!!

Matty.

Sorry for not providing more analysis in my explanation, but I did not want to prejudice people's votes. The question is about dominance and trust in gender relations. When out to have fun, which of the members of a couple should give up his or her dominant hand? The guy or the girl?

I thought of asking the question here after reading about the topic in a discussion on another website. In that case, the girl said she would prefer to handcuff her right wrist (her dominant wrist) to her SO's left wrist. I found this surprising.

So far the results here bear out my belief that most people think the girl's left wrist should be handcuffed to the guy's right. At the moment, the votes are 10 in favor of this and none against; and the voters include 7 females and 3 males.

I have not seen many explanations here, but I received some privately, including the following two.

* Dominance. Guys are usually physically dominant and girls less so. Handcuffing the girl's right wrist increases this disparity (by limiting her use of her dominant hand) while handcuffing her left wrist evens up the balance of power a little (by leaving her dominant hand free).

* One person suggested a simple practical reason - Guys usually drive cars and in most countries the steering wheel is on the left; so things work better if the guy's right hand is handcuffed to the girl's left.

Note that I was careful to ask this question in the context of a date, where people are trying to have fun. I wonder if the answers would be different in a real life situation of some sort.

~Trish

jettles

Interesting answer. Can you say why? Is it just so that the two are even? Why not right to right? I got this question from another discussion group where a woman said that she would prefer to handcuff her right wrist to her girlfriend's left (and that her girlfriend would probably choose the same).

~Trish

rustygirl50

Same for me. It would feel awkward the other way. And I liked your suggestion about what might be going on in the shadows. I will add that one to my list.

~Trish

Being righthanded I wouldn't want my GF cuffed to my right hand it would make drinking difficult. Sounds kinky but could be fun.

Doesn't matter.

When I was in college, one of the sororities had an annual handcuff party. The rule was that the girl's left hand was handcuffed to the guy;s right. I don't know who decided that or why, but I remember liking the arrangement.

Gingerbread

Thanks for signing up and voting. Also for the anecdote about those sorority parties.

~Trish

dpurdy33

Well, glad that your priorities are clear.

~Trish

Voters.

The count is now 14 to 1. 10 women in favor of girl's left to guy's right. Also 4 men. I understand the women's vote. What I do not understand is why the guys voted this way. Can someone please weigh in on this?

~Trish

A handcuff party?

Well, I'm not right-handed, which is what I originally thought this question might reduce too.

So now it's a matter of who has physical control for the couple, and who has to access control via manipulation of some sort.

I don't care to delegate my access control, so as a gal I'll have to go with "The girl's left wrist handcuffed to guy's right wrist".

Neither though would I really care to have to feed a date hors d'ouevres either.

A handcuff party?

Well, I'm not right-handed, which is what I originally thought this question might reduce too.

So now it's a matter of who has physical control for the couple, and who has to access control via manipulation of some sort.

I don't care to delegate my access control, so as a gal I'll have to go with "The girl's left wrist handcuffed to guy's right wrist".

Neither though would I really care to have to feed a date hors d'ouevres either.

A handcuff party?

Well, I'm not right-handed, which is what I originally thought this question might reduce too.

So now it's a matter of who has physical control for the couple, and who has to access control via manipulation of some sort.

I don't care to delegate my access control, so as a gal I'll have to go with "The girl's left wrist handcuffed to guy's right wrist".

Neither though would I really care to have to feed a date hors d'ouevres either.

I would hate this. I'd like to have my right hand free so that I could thump whoever thought it was a good idea, and probably my date for making me go.

Welcome to Survey Central There's a great reply feature that you can use if you want to make sure that individual users see your comments to them. You can either click "reply" (or "(quoted)") above the comment you want to reply to, or just check the relevant and then type your comment and submit it as usual.

> I would hate this. I'd like to have my right hand free so that I could
> thump whoever thought it was a good idea, and probably my date for
> making me go.

Biggles

I am new here at SC, and I haven't yet figured all the things one can do. Thanks for the tip about replies. I checked the box *and* clicked quoted reply in creating this reply, so hopefully you will get this message.

Thanks for your vote. Like you, I would prefer to have my right hand free. I hadn't thought about the thumping potential of this arrangement, but I will add that to the list of benefits. But, if things were set up that way, why would you hate it so much?

~Trish

>I checked the box *and*
> clicked quoted reply in creating this reply, so hopefully you will
> get this message.

It worked

>I hadn't thought about the thumping potential of this arrangement,
> but I will add that to the list of benefits. But, if things were
> set up that way, why would you hate it so much?

It would be a very contrived situation, lacking in purpose. I just don't see why it would be a good experience. That said, I think that going on a "date" to a party would be pretty ridiculous anyway. Surely a date should be about spending time with that one person, whereas a party is about socialising with lots of people? It does sound a bit like something bored middle-aged couples do secretly, in the hope of spicing things up - just a bit cringeworthy.

How does work? Is it any different than just 'reply'?

I am not new; I have been here 10 years!

The checkbox is different in that it allows you to check multiple people if you want to reply to several at once. Like this.

> The checkbox is different in that it allows you to check multiple
> people if you want to reply to several at once. Like this.

WOW, thanks

> It would be a very contrived situation, lacking in purpose. I just
> don't see why it would be a good experience. That said, I think that
> going on a "date" to a party would be pretty ridiculous anyway. Surely
> a date should be about spending time with that one person, whereas
> a party is about socialising with lots of people? It does sound a
> bit like something bored middle-aged couples do secretly, in the hope
> of spicing things up - just a bit cringeworthy.

Biggles

I can see your point. Parties are about socializing, and this almost prevents that. However, it is not just something for the middle-aged. When I was in college, handcuff parties were not uncommon. Gingerbread, a friend of mine, went to several when she was in school. (See her description above.)

In any case, by asking the question, I did not intend to suggest that handcuff parties are good or bad. I was mostly interested in the choice of left versus right and what this says about gender relations. Does the guy give up his dominant hand or does the girl give up hers?

~Trish

I can see where you're coming from. At a party (presumably with friends) my answer is about personal comfort (though in reality I would probably leave it to my date to choose as I doubt my feelings would be that strong either way!) - perhaps if we were instead walking handcuffed through a scary forest, I might prefer to accept the inconvenience of having my right hand unavailable if that meant that my "handcuff partner" was able to use his dominant hand to fend off any nasties. Not because I have some post-feminist desire to be protected by a big strong man, but because realistically, it would have to be a pretty wimpy man who wasn't stronger than me.

Also, it automatically means you can type your reply in the comment box at the bottom of the survey screen. The other options take you to a reply screen with just the comment you are replying to. Though I have a feeling you can change that setting in Customize.

Of the two options, I don't think it really matters. I'd be more inclined to have both of them handcuffed together by their left wrists, assuming they are both right-handed.

I thought of that one too eventually.

Biggles

Interesting. I tend to agree with you. On a date, having fun, I would definitely go for girl's left to guy's right. However, in a serious situation, where physical strength or agility matters, it makes sense to do things the other way around. Still, I would hate having my right hand out of action.

~Trish

Zang and Kristal Rose

Nice idea. Handcuffing left to left is equal. There is a lot to be said for that in serious settings. However, on a date, I am not so sure. For me, the equal thing is not as much fun as girl's left to guy's right.

~Trish

Well don't stop there then; You haven't yet considered guy's right wrist to girl's left ankle. (The more intelligent couples might just travel piggy-back instead of doing the grovelling thing).

The girl's right wrist handcuffed to guy's left wrist

gambler

Thanks for your vote and your comment. I am curious, though, why you voted the way you did. I can understand why women would vote for girl's left to guy's right. I am not sure I understand why men would choose this option. (Among men, it is currently favored 6 to 1.) Can you give me any insight?

~Trish

Oops sorry Trish, I meant my left hand to the girl's right........... my wife is L/handed so that would be perfect...i will go and change it

Dear Respondents.

I am going crazy with curiosity. As of today, the vote is 20-3 in favor of girl's left to guy's right. The voting among women is 13 to 1. That is higher than I expected, but it makes sense. The surprise is the vote among males - 6 to 2 in favor of the same arrangement. Why do guys like girl's left to guy's right? I am really curious, but none of the guys seems willing to weigh in on the subject. Does anyone have any ideas?

~Trish

People who would find it more fun to be in more control, I would imagine. I don't think it makes one bit of difference, personally. Your dominant hand isn't going to be much stronger than your non dominant hand.

Linda

I had always assumed that one would *not* want one's dominant hand restrained. I had not thought of the possibility that the guy might enjoy tugging the girl around with him. Interesting explanation. Thanks.

~Trish

If you trust the other person, why not? Relinquishing control can be spontaneous and fun sometimes.

> If you trust the other person, why not? Relinquishing control can
> be spontaneous and fun sometimes.

Linda

I agree that relinquishing control can be a lot of fun, and I can imagine a situation (i.e. a person and a relationship) in which I would vote for girl's right to guy's left. However, in general, I hate the thought of having my right hand out of action. Also, I like the idea of taking control in a fun setting like a date. Which is why I favor girl's left to guy's right. I guess I just assumed that guys would vote the other way because they do not like to surrender control. I hadn't considered that they might actually enjoy it. Gosh. Maybe this is why I am still single!?

~Trish

I'd prefer my left wrist to be handcuffed.