How much of an age spread is too much for most romantic relationships?

Personally, for a REAL relationship, of respect, passion, I think people need to use reasoning. Too big of age differences would be difficult. I would say no more than 4 to 6 years, men or women. Talking of people in their twenties generally. I've seen some very unusual cases, that are almost unbelievable, but it goes back to faith, respect for the other person. I met a couple that knew each other 6 days, in high school, married, and are still married today. They had a daughter, my friend, who married when she was a sophmore, her husband 18 years. They're still married. It was a different era, when people possibly had more respect for the institution of marriage, had faith in their marriage. Another couple met in their freshman year, dated throughout high school, married out of school, are still married...saw them at our 50th class reunion. They still looked with respect to each other. The problem today is people don't follow the Biblical rule of "putting the other persons feeling before your own".

Between 5 to 7 should be the cut off. Off course there are exceptions, but generally relationships of such age differences are gonna suffer in quality.

It really depends upon the ages of the people in the relationship, their personalities and preferences.

Other. It depends on the ages in question. For teenagers, just a few years. For middle-aged people, anything they're happy with.

I'm not really the one to ask. But if it works, it works.

This really depends on the people involved. In general, about 5 or 6 years is fine. But for some people a large age difference is fine, or even preferable.

There's a 17 year difference between me and my boyfriend. (I'm 23, he's 40). That is certainly not the norm, and wouldn't work for most couples. Usually their interests, points of view, social circles, and maturity levels would be too different for a successful relationship. However, I've never really found that I had much in common with people my own age, and always preferred to socialize with friends that were older than me. I have so much more in common with my boyfriend than I do with anyone else I've ever met.

Another aspect is that, while our age difference might not matter much right now, how will things be when I'm 53 and he's 70? Many people don't think of that. We have, and it's been discussed. Nothing firm decide upon, as either or both of our viewpoints could change in that amount of time. Whether we split up entirely, develop more of a platonic relationship, or maintain things the way they are, neither of us knows, but we're aware that when he's older things will change.

>>> all

I think past 16yrs is about the limit, there are no absolutes of course but personally, 5-6yrs would be about it...

I'd say that if the difference is at least 16 years, the younger partner looks at the older partner as more of a parent figure than a lover.

It doesn't matter. Their happiness in the here and now is ALL that matters. If they are both happy, it is beneficial and functional.

I'd say the closer the better is probably best..and the further the spread..the worst...But I'm going with 11-15.
And I'd definitely say it's a no go once either you or the other person is old enough to be the parent.
But personally I'd say no more than 4-5 years.

Probably 80 is pushing it.

it depends on the people and their ages and their maturity............. 20 yrs is very different between a 17yo and 37yo or a 45yo and 65yo. it all depends, no strict rules!

an age difference where the 2 people don't like each other because of their ages...seriouly, haven't we done this to death already?...and better?

11-15 years.

I generally dislike seeing the age difference greater than where one person could've hypothetically bourne or fathered the other person. But it doesn't really matter, if they love each other and get along, it's their own business.

Depends on the age of the individuals. When you're in your 20's - 5 years is a really big gap. When you're in your 40's, not so much.

It's not so much that it doesn't matter as that it depends on the people involved. There's no set age limit.

Um maybe like 7 to 10 years

I think it's very possible for people to have a lot in common even with a big age difference. Age is only the number of years you've been on the planet. There are very mature and wise 20 year olds and there are very immature and ignorant 70 year olds. If we see 2 people obviously in love and they are many years apart, we should be happy to see a happy couple!

It doesn't matter... There is too much made out of ages. The only thing that should be considered is, did the youngest pass puberty? Otherwise it shouldn't matter if one is in early teens and one is in 50's or whatever. It depends on the two people. Another thing I hate is the public narrow mindedness where they say an older guy who has a relationship with a female in her teens is a lech. It is nobodies business. If the two people want to have a relationship, age should have nothing to do with it...

Back when I was 42, I had a girlfriend who was 19... she was the same age as my oldest son... She taught me a lot, I learned about the Goth lifestyle and music, alternative music, and she moved me out of the stuffy old mindset of the 1960"s I had been stuck in. It was hard keeping up with her but it was fun. The only bad side was after being turned on to new things, finding a woman closer to my age who isn't stuck back in the in the 1960's and 1970's sucks. Most like oldies (60's music) and hate the stuff I like now... LOL Not many Goth chicks out there in their 50's....

Uhhh, I don't know, I guess it doesn't really matter.
Unless you're like 98 and a millionaire and you have 49 girlfriend's because your rich. :]

Anyone old enough to be a parent is asking for furtive glances, secret finger counting, and hushed voices when you walk in a room.

But why care what other people think?

That has nothing to do wtih my response. I only said that they would be asking for it. If they don't care-they don't care. If it wasn't such an issue, there most likely would not be surveys about it. Obviousdly there is an issue because there have been surveys after surveys about age differences. I don't care. I just don't care. someone cares, why do they care? maybe because of what other people think. Who knows.
my repsonse was merely of one said bystander watching other people giving the couple furtive glances, hushed tones and finger counting.

okay. I guess I'm seeing it from 2 different angles. 1- outward appearance to strangers (who cares?) and 2- people's reasoning for why they find a huge age spread 'wrong' or bad or inappropriate (interesting, because some of it is so absurd)

I really wouldn't say they are "asking for it" though. As if they are in the relationship to draw attention to themselves.

Announcing a relationship is drawing witnesses. Unles it is a secret, they are subject to public opinion. Because there are pople who like to judge. It's human nature, you know, what you often fight against
My relationship needs to be secret. most know, but it isn't discussed. We need to work in this town and if we weere open we would be subject to prejuduces. having witnesses to a relationship makes it real, but it comes with some consequences.

Oh. I see how it could make a difference in a smaller town. I can't imagine much being thought of a huge age difference relationship here. Most people would shrug.

Smaller towns make smaller minds. That is where I am at.

I think it depends on the character and the age of the people involved. Clearly, the difference between a 13 year old and and 18 year old is completely inappropriate, whereas a 21 year old and a 26 year old is completely fine. I dated a 35 year old when I was 19 so I can't judge anyone. It didn't work out - but that wasn't down to the age gap.

If you love each other enough and you can have a solid relationship, than age doesn't matter. Love is love and you can't change that. Your feelings for a person might change over time, but then they might not. Live and let love.

I thought of something... what if the younger one is super mature, and deliberately looks for older partners because the same-aged ones just don't measure up, maturation-wise? Would you blame them?