What would be your excuse?

too much mouth wash. There's alcohol in it you know

I swear to drunk, officer, I'm not god!

I wouldn't have an excuse. Of course, I wouldn't actually be driving if I had been drinking anyway. I do my drinking at home and make sure I don't have to go anywhere that requires driving beforehand.

I wouldn't have an excuse because I'd refuse the test. Random tests aren't legal (at least not here). Also, even if I were pulled over for suspicion of drunk driving, I still wouldn't submit to the test. Give me a lawyer!

I don't think I'd have one.

Well gee officer had to many bottles of wine hehe

I would probably say his breath test must be broken.

I wouldn't have an excuse. I'm not going to embarress myself any more than necesary.

There would be no excuse. It is irresponsible to drink, drug and drive, endangering others.

Since I don't drink, my excuse would be that the breathalyser must be wrong - I'd request a blood sample be taken instead. However, I think I'd be in more trouble when the officer realised that I don't have a driver's licence...

my life sucks and I needed a drink, back off!

I would start flirting

I'd think the breath test was broken.

I wouldn't have an excuse. I'd happily be arrested and begin daydreaming of how I'll spend my money after I sue whomever is responsible for getting me intoxicated without my consent.

i am nuts

I'd tell 'em to mind his own business then I'd find out if my Ford was faster than his.