I cured my...

... resuscitation dummy.

She was breathing when I left her, officer...

My headache with some coffee

ham

doginess

cold

I cured my debit problems by consolidating 8 of my credit cards.

obesity

child's ringworm...

bacon.

ignorance

I cured my spotty skin by drinking loads of water and only eating one chocolate bar a week.

need to eat Jolly Rancher candy every night, need to run down traffic cones in construction zones, athelete's feet, shoplifting.

Got something in your eye?

...meat, by pulverizing it.

....Headache today

want and need for corned beef and cabbage. I had an awesome dinner with left overs yesterday. I can cure any left over want and need with that.

Definitely not

hypertension

run over cones? i did that the other night coming back from Chino, no one around, all alone at 3am, ran over cones for atleast a quarter mile straight off Hwy 142, they had lane shut down because they were repaving shoulder, i see cones? weeved over and just flattened them, i stopped after i heard a thump, damn cone was wedged into the bumper/tire area, 70,000 pounds of fury, 18 wheelers kick ass

my God you're an idiot.

It was 3am have driven 9 hours straight prior, tired, pissed off, had to vent somehow, thanks for the compliment, it was idiotic

bad habits?????

I wish.

...obnoxiousness. Really, I used to be outgoing. What happened to me?

I cured my salmon then stopped smoking
(3 years, 1 month and 26 days ago)

Not counting the seconds too?

Well, you know, over 725824800 seconds of smoking drastically altered my memory
I failed to remember at what time I quit