Would you get divorced if a child was involved?

If it were the right thing to do, sure. I think that "staying together for the sake of the children" is rarely, if ever, workable. Kids can sense stuff that's broken, and people who are miserable, even when they're young. Miserable parents aren't fooling, or helping, anyone when they force themselves to stay together. Certainly I think they should work to try to fix the relationship if it's at all possible, but need to make a healthy break and, moving forward, keep the children's best interests in mind at all times.

It would depend on whether I thought the marriage itself was in some way helping or harming the child. For example, if my husband were abusing me or the child, then divorce would be preferable. On the other hand, if my husband were the wage-earner, if he and I got along OK but didn't really love each other, and if he loved the child, then it might be worth staying together, even though for myself, I would prefer divorce.

I'd never get married in the first place (even if the law allowed it). My advice to others in this situation: Good one! You're already going to disrupt the life of an innocent child, if the period leading up to the divorce hasn't done so already, so you may as well do what makes you happy and split. Then work like hell making sure that you overcompensate when giving to the child you brought into this world. I'm sure your time and attention will suffice -- and let's hope your short-sightedness that led you towards marriage in the first place is gone.

(A bit of residual irritation for butthole that came back today.)

Yes. Divorce rocks!

Why am I getting divorced? I don't want to get divorced. I don't want to have a child either.

> I don't want to get divorced.

You just reminded me of this:

Have you re-watched it yet?

I would like to see the survey:

Would you have a child if divorce was involved?

not yet (it will probably take me a while to get around to it)...

I am not married and if i were married , it would all depend

it would all depend on the situation. if i really felt a need for a divorce it would happen whether or not there were children involved.

I have no idea how to answer this as I have no experience being married or having children. All I know is my parents waited till we were gone before they got divorced. It would have been healthier if they did it sooner rather than make the both of us spend much of our adult earned money on fudging therapy.

Sure. Been there, done that.

Good question. Having grown up in a family that split, my first instinct was to say no. Having risked a meaningful relationship, despite my own child being involved, I would say yes. I think what's key is to tell the kid what's going on and NEVER, EVER put them in a position where they'll believe it was their fault.

I don't think you should use children as an excuse to stay in a bad marriage. In the long run, it's harder for the kids to see the bad relationship than it would be for them to go through a divorce.

If my spouse were a paedophile, you mean?

Why not. I got a Harley for my wife... Best trade I ever made...

Many times you should if a child is involved. Should that child have to live in negative surroundings all the time ?