How do you feel about people saying "I'm sorry for your loss" when someone dies?

If you have to say something, I guess it's the thing to say.

I don't really like neutral people, who say neutral things in order to not disagree with me. It bores me.

However, in a delicate situation such as a death, it's probably best to just let the person be if there's nothing you can do to help. There's so many wrong things you can say when someone dies. If someone's kid dies, you can't say something like "Well, look on the bright side, you don't have to send her to college now." For me, a lot more consoling things to say would not work because I'm not religious. So if I was really sad, I would probably resent anyone who says "He's in God's hands now."

Well, you can say "I'm always here if you need me" but if you're about to leave to war or you're just busy, it's best not to say that.

I guess it's either that or nothing.

> So if I was really sad, I would probably resent anyone who says "He's in God's
> hands now."

The minister at my sister's funeral said something to the effect of: this is a funeral for a believer so it's not all bad. It stopped my tears for a bit because I was so angry.

Never heard this before when my brother died

IMO it's fine to say. What else is there to say?

It's a good way of expressing how they feel., i guess

It's fine.

I don't like it!

I think it's a good way of expressing empathy, without forcing it in someone's face. It acknowledges a loss but doesn't require much reaction from the bereaved if they aren't ready for that. I think the real meaning comes in how something is said rather than what is said. If it's said in a routine "have a nice day" kind of way, then it is meaningless if not offensive, but said in a genuine manner, I think it's fine.

I'd rather hear that than something like 'Good for you'.

It does go in weird ways with me. People have to say something. And when they don't know what to say, those are the words that come out. I have come to terms with that and accept it as they really do mean well, for me and for them.

Personally, I don't consider it a loss when the loved one is still in my heart. It is not a loss now as it was before when I have had them in my life. It is always a gain. Their being in my life while they were alive is what I choose to have, not see it as any kind of loss. Because they are no longer physically there to talk to, it is sad, but happy memories cannot be taken away.
Everyone needs to mourn the way they need to in order to be at peace with a loved one that is gone.

There is many things to say. I prefer to say something personal like "You know...they loved you so much" or "I am really happy to have had them in my life". I don't like "loss" so much, but there has been one or twoo occasions where it was all I could come up with because I didn't kow them that well.

One time, a boss of mine died. And his teenage daughter was there. I didn't know her, and my boss never talked about her (why would he, he was my boss) but she was grieving and in a numb-like pain. I hugged her and whispered in her ear "when you see your daddy in your dreams, you can tell him anything"
So there is plenty of thoughts and well wishes to offer.

It seems meaningless/pointless to me.

I'd rather just avoid discussing it until the other person brings the matter into a conversation.

It's a perfectly fine thing to say. Having recently lost a friend, I heard this and variants of it a zillion times. When you're among the bereaved, you understand that there's nothing you can say that will make anything better, but you gotta say something anyway else you seem aloof. "I'm sorry for your loss" says it all.

It's understandable that we are euphemistic about death.

It is an uncomfortable situation. I don't think anything would reduce the pain but someone caring always helps.