| User | Comment |
|---|
SueBee  | | posted 14-Nov-1999 12:38pm |
Good survey! Some of these are borderline, but acceptable to me as long as they are otherwise well-qualified, such as single people or a couple on their 3rd marriage. Really I think the main criteria should be the financial means to care for the child and the desire to have a child to care for and love. I don't understand why anyone would want to adopt a child if they were just going to put them in daycare. |
| robin | | posted 14-Nov-1999 1:29pm |
I think that people who want children should be able to have them. More importantly, I think that people who don't want children should be able to terminate unwanted pregnancies. I might disqualify someone who promised that if they had a child they would brutally murder them for the fun of it. But for the most part, I think that anyone who actively wants a child should have one, and anyone who doesn't actively want one shouldn't have any. |
| ILJ | | posted 14-Nov-1999 2:28pm |
Wow, this is one of the toughest and well thought-out surveys I've seen. Very well done. |
| Mariah | | posted 14-Nov-1999 2:49pm |
I checked almost all of these. The government would probably never pick me for this committee. |
| Avocado | | posted 14-Nov-1999 2:58pm |
Excellent survey!! |
| Avocado | | posted 14-Nov-1999 3:04pm |
I also checked almost all of these: I only left out the violent crime, the retarded couple, and the teen couple (but I hesitated on that latter; if they are 14, no, but if they are 18-19, yes).
I paused over nonviolent crime, but again that needs more specifics. Someone who was arrested for civil disobedience - like protesting unjust laws - I'd have no problem with their being parents. Embezzlement gives me more pause... but sometimes people like that have a double standard of cheating outsiders and giving to their family, so they wouldn't necessarily be bad parents.
Bottom line - I think there really has to be direct potential for abuse and neglect if one is to deny parenting rights.
I also might refuse parentage to someone with a present drug / alcohol addiction (though not to someone who'd been clean and sober for a while).
|
they  | | posted 14-Nov-1999 6:54pm |
I had trouble with the first one.. there are many different types of mental illness... I would need a specific.. but I marked it anyway. |
| Lauren | | posted 14-Nov-1999 6:55pm |
It depends on what the person was institutionalized for in the first question. |
| they | | posted 14-Nov-1999 6:56pm |
I really don't think people should have children if they are just going to stick them in daycare most of the day... If you are going to have kids, take care of them yourself. |
| magbast | | posted 14-Nov-1999 9:07pm |
i wouldn't want the power to make decisions like this...makes my brain hurt |
| anonymous | | posted 15-Nov-1999 9:50am |
My belief that people should be free to do as they will (including procreation) outweighs any compunctions I have against the matchings listed above. |
| Zolars | | posted 15-Nov-1999 10:06am |
In retrospect, in the world described above I wouldn't allow anyone to "breed". That way the sick society would just die out. |
| grmbrand | | posted 15-Nov-1999 10:22am |
This is a committee I'd be interested in not being a part of. |
| jonathan | | posted 15-Nov-1999 10:41am |
I answered all of the above. I could see the factors being used as part of the decision process, but I wouldn't want any of them to be used for an automatic no. |
| drdt | | posted 17-Nov-1999 12:13am |
Now, I am all for Jody's licensing program. These choices, while well thought out, all have the potential to be too restrictive or too lenient. In any of these cases there may be extenuating circumstances which prevent or allow the potential parent to go ahead.
The only requirements should be demonstration of good intent, proof of responsibility, and no prior convictions (of child neglect/abuse). That second I expect will be pretty hard to come by. |
bill    | | posted 17-Nov-1999 11:50am |
Great survey yorricks! |
| yorricks | | posted 17-Nov-1999 6:26pm |
Thanks for the encouraging words folks  . My fragile survey creating ego just might have needed them. drdt: I agree,( although the elusiveness of that second point makes it all but impossible measure) and I was impressed with the fact that many people seemed to recognize that by the way they answered the survey. Two questions, to whom it may concern: Does anyone have any familiarity with the screening process for adoptions? What do they look at? and The retarded couple seems to be getting a lower acceptance than most. Why? |
| SueBee | | posted 18-Nov-1999 1:20am |
In my opinion, I would doubt that the retarded couple could be responsible enough to care for children. Wouldn't that be like being raised by children? Of course, it would depend on the circumstances. Perhaps there would be cases where a mildly retarded couple could prove they have what it takes to be parents. |
| anonymous | | posted 20-Nov-1999 2:10pm |
It doesn't really matter who the parents are as long as they love their child and can afford to support their child. |
| Jeanne | | posted 29-Nov-1999 11:54am |
Children need limitations. They need discipline. When a parent can take the time to discipline his/her child, it shows they love that child. I know there are times when we are exhausted and are not consistent, but children do need consistency. There is definitely a difference between child abuse and healthy discipline. I personally believe in spanking and using a switch in discipline, but it has to be done at a young age. The training has to start young. I don't think reasoning with a very young child works as children don't really have an ability to reason until approximately 7 to 8 years old. I think a child should be taught to work, to have a good work ethic. Raising a child should be taken very seriously. |
| Mariah | | posted 29-Nov-1999 5:41pm |
Jeanne: I am not extremely against spanking, I think that it does work for some kids. But switches??? The point of spanking isn't really to hurt the child. Whatever you can accomplish with switching could probably be done with just a pop on the hand or the butt. |
| mandy | | posted 29-Nov-1999 7:49pm |
Jeanne...You are a child abuser if you used a switch on your children. If you were my mother I would hate you for that...forever! |
| they | | posted 29-Nov-1999 11:44pm |
Jeanne reminds me of Carrie's mom in the movie. |
| Maarten | | posted 30-Nov-1999 5:53am |
I have an idea for a movie: 'Jeanne, the first century woman'. |
| bill | | posted 30-Nov-1999 10:35am |
I think it's uncool to pick on Jeanne in that way. She's being very brave stating her honest, but unpopular (in this crowd) feelings. ...and she's not stooping to personal attacks. |
| mandy | | posted 30-Nov-1999 6:34pm |
I didn't stoop to a personal attack. I stated my true and honest gut reaction to a comment she made about abusing her children at a young age with a switch. If my mother beat me with a switch I would hate her.
My mother, fortunately (HA!), only ever used her hands and fists. I still hate her for making me feel unloved by striking me when I was a small and impressionable child.
Would you call her opinions courageous if she were a man stating his belief in beating his wife to get her to do what he wanted?
|
| magbast | | posted 30-Nov-1999 9:25pm |
hmmm, sounds of a guilty conscience to me...bill didn't say any names twister |
| drdt |
TwM: How is a switch worse than fists? |
| mandy |
That (HA!) after the word "fortunately" implies sarcasm. Fists and hands are no better or worse than a switch. I hate my mother for beating me with her hands and fists and I would have hated her for beating me with a switch, as I am sure any child would.
Some of her words stung pretty terribly too. |
| benton |
Ouch. There are some very hard choices there. |
| Hazy | | posted 2-Dec-1999 10:49pm |
I know my old man is crazy without a bunch a guys in lab coats. And remember, the accorn doesn't fall far from the tree... |
| Hazy | | posted 2-Dec-1999 10:50pm |
I know my old man is crazy without a bunch a guys in lab coats. And remember, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree... |
| drdt |
Hazy: that, sir, is why we have squirrels. |
| APiscean |
I think spanking is ok, in certain circumstances, because I was spanked like a total of 3 times, and i know that the threat when used well, was the only way my parents could control me, sometimes. |
| bill |
mandy - yes, that would be courageous for a man to do in this forum. "Hey everybody, come hate me!" |
| APiscean |
mandy:I'm sorry your mother abused you, but it is all a matter of application - i was spanked by my parents, my uncles were spancked by my grandparents, and none of it was abusive.
When my mother or father spanked me it was because it made an impression on me that nothing else would, i could spend hours enjoying myself lockied in my room or whatever, so they couldn't find a way to punish me. They did not overuse it and i don't feel any anger at all towards them for that... |
| moondragon | | posted 14-Dec-1999 9:47am |
my standards for parenting are quite restrictive...i don't think that people who have committed violent crimes, are mentally/emotionally/ physically/financially unstable, been divorced multiple times, have *7* children, or are retarded really can be fit parents. a child is an 18-year commitment. if you want to be a good parent, your race, religious beliefs, or sexuality doesn't matter a whit. what matters is your ability to be there for that child whenever he/she needs it, in whatever capacity. |
