is a huge age gap acceptable?

Don't go there.

Gawd I hate when people make stupid surveys just for giggles...I'M NOT GIGGLING!!!!!

Um.

It's not the age gap that's a problem, it's the fact that she's 14 years old. Too young! Once she's 28 and you're 42, no problem.

What exactly do you do when you "date"? Just hang out? Anything more than what platonic friends would do is NOT a good idea.

For a second I thought it said "ego gap." Which might be apt...

Find someone closer to your own age.

I read the question as "is a HUGE APE gap acceptable?" and I was like, "Oh no, giant ape, run, run!!!"

It is NOT ACCEPTABLE.

A 14 girl doesn't really know what being in love is. I should know! I just turned 15, and I was pretty sure I was in love, but you know what, she needs time. Also note that being 14 years apart, it's going to be weird for a very long time. I don't think you should not do something your heart tells you to just because it's "weird" but she's a child right now. It would be best if you stayed friends, at least until she was 18 and able to at least decide things for herself. Right now her mommy and daddy control everything, and I doubt they're so pleased. I think her future should be a priority, let her at least play with her dolls a little longer.

I'm assuming you are male and the 14 year old is female. Have you considered that she might just have a crush on you? 14 year old girls are notorious for "loving" older guys. Hell, when I was 14, I was sure I was going to marry 28 year old Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees! That is, if we ever met.

Are you wrong to date her, maybe - especially if you're monopolizing her. Illegal, not unless you're in a position of authority over her and there's intimacy. Waiting for marriage, good luck with that - you're gonna be, what, in your thirties before that happens.

Still, Elvis Presley waited for Priscilla to grow up, but he waited on the sidelines, didn't insert himself into her life - literally! - and was a gentleman about it.
Advice? It's doable, but since you're the adult it's up to you to make sure there's no pressure on her for anything to happen earlier than she makes the choice for herself. That would be love. On her part, she has to experience a whole lot of life and meet a whole lot of people before she knows who she is and who you are. If she still chooses you, after she's got her degree and after she's travelled the world, that's love. Got it?

Hm, OK, serious answer. [ I'm assuming you're male and she is female. ]

As dab mentioned, it's not the gap. It's that she's too young. Specifically (and legally) she is not an adult and wont be until she is 18. At 14, she's not even close. You say "madly in love" so maybe you're thinking you could wait 4 years. But, there are other things to consider. She's so young that in many ways, she's still a child. Especially, mentally and emotionally. She's still growing up. So, if you wait 4 years, she will very likely change a lot in that time. She wont be the same person she is today.

Also, you have to consider the psychology of a child and all the evidence we have that a person's childhood makes a huge impact on the rest of their life. A relationship with someone who is so much older could easily screw up her childhood. If you love her, try to think about this as what is best for her. Maybe she deserves a normal childhood, dating boys (or maybe girls) her own age, making friends in school, etc. Your presence during that period would be weird and disruptive to her development.

Finally, it's important to imagine how other people will see you. One of the few things most people in our society agree on is that pedophiles are scum. You will be seen as a sexual deviant, a pervert, a sex offender. Whole communities will turn on you and pressure you to leave. Even in prison, you will be the lowest social rank and likely attacked or killed by other inmates.

Honestly, this whole thing puts you in a very dangerous position. If it's not too late, maybe you can find a way to redirect this obsession. It possible that therapy could really help. That you are madly in love with someone who is so young likely indicates that you yourself have emotional problems and may benefit from therapy.

"Any advice?" Yeah, graduate from Continuation High School and find someone that doesn't live at home with their parents.

a huge age gap is acceptable in consenting adults!!! you need to stop what you are doing and move on to an at least 18yo..................

I think it is possible to be in love at fourteen, because I'm certain I was.

Yes, I can give you an advice - learn how to write.

Reality check!


Come on I can understand the love thing but get real there ARE laws; patients will prevail if you can, otherwise expect legal problems.

I was 16 with a 41 yr old and I didn't feel too young for him. The only thing I noticed was that his skin was not like a youngun's! (Sheeat! To think that my skin feels like that now... Naw! I take care of mine - soft as a baby's buns!) I think it depends on the level of maturity the 14 yr old has really...
I'm with a guy who's that much younger than me but at our age - it doesn't really matter anymore. 14 is kinda young....

Didn't we have a very similar survey last month?

Yes: call it off.

*next*

Since you are obviously emotionally and socially stagnant, the 14 year old will grow up and mature. He or she will be much more mature than you, as an adult and you will still be stuck at this teen mentality. I'm sure he/she will want to move on to someone who is on their own level.
It's good to think ahead.

In this instance it just is, I do not know what sex you are.... but either way its just wrong and as a 28yr old, you should know better...sorry I am not usually the one to take the moral high ground (The mother of my eldest son is now 37, he is 21 do the math) but its not just a huge age gap is it? its twice as much

Madly in love...what a crock of crap. You just want us to justify a 14-year-old body giving you a hard-on. Well, guess what, I'm sure every man (hetero man) has seen a hot 14-year-old girl whose body has matured more quickly than usual and thought how great it would be to tap that. But it's not right. Girls that age are not ready to handle the complexities of an adult sexual relationship.

Yeah, I know, waiting for marriage...another crock of crap. What you really mean is that you are waiting for her to be of the age of consent in your state, so you can be the hyman stealer of that young, nubile hottie.

Is this a real survey, or are you trolling this site?

Funny that I see everyone is rating you "bad" for this. And, there would be no big deal if you were 38 and the other person 24.

What it says to me though is that you're emotionally immature and likely a dork who can't find someone of legal age. A 14 year old easily would be attracted to someone older and are more gullible. You don't say your sex but most likely you're a male.

Anyhow, it technically isn't illegal for you to date a 14 year old, just likely illegal to have sex with a 14 year old. And that is variable too depending upon where you live. In some places 14 is legal.

Yup - you're 28. Grow up. You're supposed to be an adult so act like one. Age gaps are not the problem - the fact that the other party is 14 years old is a problem. They've barely reached their teens, let them live for a while.

Oh. My. God.

I would find that age gap more acceptable in an older couple (say 40 and 54).

Four options
1. Call Dr. Laura Schlessinger and ask her opinon
2. Go to therapy
3. Call the police and ask them. Make sure you give them your name and address.
4. End yourself
Remember, the 14 year old is a child and off limits to you.

Capatalize the beginning of your sentence and use less "!" points.
Options are nice such as...
yes
no
I am a internet troll and I just want to see peole trip.

Take my advice and say no to a 14 year old juvenile you are looking to end up in jail

Did I hear someone say statutory rape or risk of injury to a minor ? In this case I have to question the maturity of the 28 year old. 14 will get you 20...................years !!!!!!

Unfortunately society has its head up its nether regions and frowns on this. Bunch of prudish idiots. Personally I say go for it, just do not get caught. Damn fools will try to throw the book at you and put you in jail.

I don't think so. You are twice that persons age. But if you guy's still love each other and are waiting until you are married or the 14 year old is of the legal consent age, I see no problem with it. But I would be very careful.

Hold on a minute...

If they are waiting to have sex, then what is the difference between dating and just hanging out?