| User | Comment |
|---|
Matty    | | posted 6-Oct-2008 11:18am |
Absolutely, the moment someone feels entitled to something from me is the moment I refuse to give it. |
Joanne   | | posted 6-Oct-2008 11:49am |
Honestly - I loathe entitlement. But for your scenarios, it depends. If it looks like somebody's taking advantage or using manipulation, I'd resist. If somebody's just being a dolt, well, okay then. |
Melf  | | posted 6-Oct-2008 12:11pm |
Depends. No way I'm giving my seat up on the bus to the sixty year old woman with the dyed hair and a ton of non-grocery shopping bags. I have some weird pride for not walking round people if they're younger than me and expect me to, either, and ended up pausing for a second in the street today because some girl wouldn't get out of my way. But I will always hold doors open. |
| Enheduanna | | posted 6-Oct-2008 12:14pm |
Seeing as I'm not LindaH, no. |
| LJD | | posted 6-Oct-2008 12:46pm |
No
|
| Galomorro |
Yeah, maybe. Like this one time an elderly woman got on the bus and was not a nice person, ordering people out of the way and such. Well she saw me looking at her from the front of the bus and then demanded MY seat. halfway towards the back. I gave it to her even though there were other seats around, but then later I felt I should have refused because of her nasty attitude. If people are not polite to me, then why should I go out of my way for them? Then she was ordering people around telling them to get out of the way of the back door so others could get out. I don't see all that many really evil people like that around but when I do, it certainly doesn't bring out the kindness in me. |
LindaH  |
Why make it personal? |
| LindaH |
I think expectation causes friction. I don't like to encourage it. |
| Enheduanna | | (reply to LindaH) posted 6-Oct-2008 3:27pm |
I was just having a little fun, since it was obvious from the question that it must be your survey. I wasn't intending to be mean. |
| LindaH |
okay.  |
| Irene007 |
Not really, I'm a such sucker... |
| JessicaWoman99 | | posted 6-Oct-2008 10:29pm |
It does not change anything for me |
| Matty | | (reply to Galomorro) posted 7-Oct-2008 8:30am |
> Yeah, maybe. Like this one time an elderly woman got on the bus and
> was not a nice person, ordering people out of the way and such. Well
> she saw me looking at her from the front of the bus and then demanded
> MY seat. halfway towards the back. I gave it to her even though there
> were other seats around, but then later I felt I should have refused
> because of her nasty attitude. If people are not polite to me, then
> why should I go out of my way for them? Then she was ordering people
> around telling them to get out of the way of the back door so others
> could get out. I don't see all that many really evil people like that
> around but when I do, it certainly doesn't bring out the kindness
> in me.
I am deferrential to only 3 women in this world: my wife, my daughter, and my mother; everyone else can kiss my ass. I think chivalry ended when the expression "the kitchen and the bedroom" ended. Or in other words, if we're competing for a job, then we are also competing for a seat on the train...fudge you!
However, having said that, I think you did the right thing. That old lady was probably tired of the lack of respect shown to our elderly. And whether she was appreciative or not, giving her the seat was the right thing to do; she probably needed to sit down more than you did.
Yes indeed, I am a sea of contradictions, but it all makes sense in my mind.
|
| LindaH | | (reply to Matty) posted 7-Oct-2008 10:36am |
The whole etiquette expectation thing is a sea of contradictions that ironically defeat the purpose. People are tired of the lack of respect, so they get pushy. People are tired of the pushiness, so they resist. |
| Matty | | (reply to LindaH) posted 7-Oct-2008 10:44am |
Yes, I agree with that.
However, there are still some things we have to do just because it's the right thing to do. I applaud Galomorro for giving his seat to that old lady, whether she appreciated it or not. |
| Galomorro | | (reply to Matty) posted 7-Oct-2008 10:58am |
I was wondering if maybe she was in the early stages of Alzheimers. I do sometimes think to try to help people if it's obvious they need it, elderly or not. Like a pregnant woman with a couple of little kids on a crowded bus. Our buses jerk a lot and it's easy to get injured on 'em if one doesn't hold on. Once an old woman was walking up a steep hill with a couple of bags that looked heavy - I offered to carry them as it looked like she could hardly walk - turned out she was on her way to a nearby hospital... But many women are wary around strange guys, and well they should be these days. I'm harmless but they don't know that... |
| Matty | | (reply to Galomorro) posted 7-Oct-2008 11:28am |
I think you should continue to do what is honorable, and well, let some chips fall if they may. |
| LindaH | | (reply to Matty) posted 7-Oct-2008 11:30am |
That's true. |
| Galomorro | | (reply to Matty) posted 7-Oct-2008 12:05pm |
Some things one doesn't think about, it just comes naturally. In my city there's a constant announcement on the buses - besides no smoking or eating on the bus - that seats in the front of the bus are reserved for the elderly and physically disabled, and everyone just naturally gets up and moves back if they see an elderly or disabled person get on and there are no vacant seats in the front. I've even heard younger people chastised by the elderly themselves or the bus driver for not doing this. |
cloudhugger  | | posted 8-Oct-2008 10:25am |
Yes. An example that comes to mind is immediately hitting the gas when the light turns green. If the guy behind me honks at the immediate second the light turns, I sit for another second.
On the other hand, it depends on who it is. If it was my dear sweet Aunt Lydia if she were still alive today, I wouldn't mind one bit. |
| jettles |
if it is a one time thing or doesn't happen that often, i have no problem with it. when i was in college, a friend didn't have a car or ride for some reason and i offered to drive her to events a few times and then she just expected it all the time and i was quite angry about it. i talked to her about it and we worked it out. |
| Cain |
Sometimes, but usually only if it's a person abusing the customer/worker relationship.
'You have offended me - I demand to see your boss!'
'Guess what bozo - I only answer to my conscience and the taxman!' |
| LindaH | | posted 8-Oct-2008 10:15pm |
I hate it when David buys stuff I've never made before, thaws it out, and expects me to make it. I only make stuff I know how to make, or stuff I am actually interested in learning how to make. He gets annoyed when I stubbornly refuse to prepare his own selection. He already knows that I don't like making new stuff, yet still buys it and expects me to make it. I don't know how and I don't want to know how. Either he ends up fixing it, or it sits in the fridge getting rotten.
Ironically, I'd be more reasonable about it if he would ask if I'd like to try learning how to make it, before he even buys it. Buying it with the notion I will make it is just inconsiderate and rude. |
| Pomeranian | | posted 10-Oct-2008 4:15am |
Actually it makes me want to do it more. |
WhiteMike8504  | | posted 14-Oct-2008 5:28pm |
Im only nice to certain people, n if they expect it....lol they are not gettin it |
| they | | posted 16-Oct-2008 9:25am |
Do you mean like if my SO jumps up and decides it is time to clean house or fold laundry... and expects me to participate at that moment..... and I feel guilty if I don't jump up and join in instead of doing it on my own time table?
Yeah, sometimes. |
