| User | Comment |
|---|
Galomorro   |
No. |
| llamamama |
Now, I shouldn't say that I would never do it because I can't predict the future, but I never intend on using one.
If I was unable to find someone, I would not resort to using a dating site until I was 35 or felt all other options were exhausted. 35 shall be my cut off though.
And if I were to use one, I would so use Jdate.com.
Note: 35 is just if I've like, never dated anyone and stuff like that..not if I'm not married yet.. |
Melf  |
Other. If I didn't, it wouldn't because I don't 'agree' with them or whatever, it would be because I don't actually want a relationship and can see that continuing for some time. |
LindaH     |
No. Dating sites seem like a totally wrong/backwards way of finding a partner. Un-natural, forced, desparate, idealistic. I don't like the idea of hoping for love right off the bat. It doesn't work that way for me.
I'd much rather just go out and make a bunch of platonic friends, and see if anything might develop from there. |
| bill |
might, but hopefully would never need to |
| moviesnob | | posted 8-Jul-2008 10:35pm |
Yes, I have a couple of times. It's worked for me so far, and I've gotten a couple of good friends out of it! |
| they | | posted 8-Jul-2008 11:04pm |
My answer will have to be yes.
Because I've done it. I dated two men from yahoo personals. They turned out to be weirdos in their own way... |
| they | | (reply to LindaH) posted 8-Jul-2008 11:10pm |
With the two men I met, I spent weeks (at least) talking with them on IM before I ever met them... so it would be sort of like you and me meeting for drinks... we kind of know each other, so it really wouldn't be desperate and all those other things you said... it would be fun. (I'm sure) 
I think that if you aren't desperate in the way you go about it, it can just be another way to meet new people. Online dating has such a stigma attached to it. I've always wondered why...
|
| LindaH | | (reply to they) posted 8-Jul-2008 11:21pm |
It's one thing to just talk to people on IM. I just think going to a dating site purposefully for finding a partner seems kind of forced/un-natural. It would be like there being a site that's dedicated to making best friends. So you go to the site specifically to find a "best friend". Dating sites seem that silly to me. It doesn't seem like it should be that difficult to find someone. |
| they | | (reply to LindaH) posted 8-Jul-2008 11:30pm |
I guess I just don't see it that way. People go to clubs to find partners.... why not a website? It was pretty convenient for me to look at profiles, pick the ones I found attractive or interesting-sounding, and get to know them before bothering with a 'date'. It's the future  |
| LindaH | | (reply to they) posted 9-Jul-2008 12:01am |
I wouldn't do it, because I want to meet people as friends first, without them thinking I'm hoping for more. It adds expectation that I wouldn't want there. |
| kcthedog | | posted 9-Jul-2008 12:03am |
I tried it. IT SUCKED!
I would explain why I did not like it but then I would have to explain my sexual preferences and fantasies in order for it make sense, and tell you all these stories that I went through, then if it every were to get out that KC the dog liked little kitty cats, my reputation would be ruined. (Yea I like pussy). Bow Wow!
|
| kcthedog | | (reply to llamamama) posted 9-Jul-2008 12:04am |
> Now, I shouldn't say that I would never do
> it because I can't predict the future, but
> I never intend on using one.
> If I was unable to find someone, I would
> not resort to using a dating site until I
> was 35 or felt all other options were exhausted.
> 35 shall be my cut off though.
> And if I were to use one, I would so use
> Jdate.com.
> Note: 35 is just if I've like, never dated
> anyone and stuff like that..not if I'm not
> married yet..
Now what the hell do "I" do? |
| kcthedog | | (reply to LindaH) posted 9-Jul-2008 12:34am |
> I wouldn't do it, because I want to meet
> people as friends first, without them thinking
> I'm hoping for more. It adds expectation
> that I wouldn't want there.
I feel compelled to elaborate! IMO it is not how or where you meet someone, or not even under what pretences that you meet someone, it is the mechanics involved. I think that online dating can and does work for certain people under different situations. Where as, the bar or club scene works better for others, even the work place can be fruitful (or full of fruits ha). As far as being desperate; let’s see how long you can go with out getting your belly scratched, or feel the warmth of body held close. Soon you would be trolling the streets, or possible looking for love on SC. Already being married makes it easy to talk, being single is different! I have done the cyber love bit, E Harmony for six months, met a couple of nice young ladies, for the most part I found I was not compatible, I am a freak of nature (just kidding), I am different, free and crazy, spontaneous and silly. At my age women are looking for a paycheck and a honey do-er. Not me! All the babes I went after were much younger than me that could keep up with me, lived too far away to continue a relationship or had two other boyfriends they were juggling. Also not for me! So I think that what really is important is that you find someone, before it is all wasted time.
There is an expression that goes… “It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved before”.
I have loved and lost, and I am still waiting for it to get better. I saw a TV program, a short documentary about this guy desperate as they get, dressed up in a billboard walking the main street of his town advertising his marital intentions. Remarkably he drew a lot of attention, and in the end he found a woman so impressed with him they got married. I thought of doing that but my version would probably get me arrested. Put an ad in the paper, go on line, stick a feather in your hair, do whatever just don’t be alone………….
|
| LindaH | | (reply to kcthedog) posted 9-Jul-2008 12:43am |
I think it is way easier to find compatible people, when you don't have the expectations and hopefulness that "this will be the one". But you are right about things being different for different people.
I also happen to think it's silly for women your age to be looking for a paycheck and a honey do-er. As if they haven't learned that those are petty details. |
| kcthedog | | (reply to LindaH) posted 9-Jul-2008 1:05am |
> I think it is way easier to find compatible
> people, when you don't have the expectations
> and hopefulness that "this will be the one".
> But you are right about things being different
> for different people.
> I also happen to think it's silly for women
> your age to be looking for a paycheck and
> a honey do-er. As if they haven't learned
> that those are petty details.
Meeting people is all about expectations! I mean why would you put your self even in a friendly relationship first without expectations. If you mean expecting to get laid right away or get married right away, that would in itself create a disappointment. Getting laid right away usually taints the relationship towards a physical thing, and expecting to get married right away is never a good idea. When you are single and lonely you will take bigger risks and venture out a little further into the pool of expectant love, hoping that someone will see you. Besides it usually starts as a friendly relationship but when looking for a mate you have to put out the right signals or someone who would find you attractive would possibly pass you by thinking you only wanted to be friends. At least a dating service puts everyone on the same page as to what eventually is expected. |
| LindaH | | (reply to kcthedog) posted 9-Jul-2008 1:24am |
Okay. I guess I just don't operate that way. I don't want anything at all to be expected. I want to meet people, and let whatever happens happen from there. Relationship expectations make me uncomfortable. I'm not much for expectation in general, when it comes to all kinds of things. |
| kcthedog | | (reply to LindaH) posted 9-Jul-2008 1:40am |
> Okay. I guess I just don't operate that way.
> I don't want anything at all to be expected.
> I want to meet people, and let whatever happens
> happen from there. Relationship expectations
> make me uncomfortable. I'm not much for expectation
> in general, when it comes to all kinds of
> things.
Question, at what point do you start to have expectations? If you are not looking for anything usually because you have a relationship already, then I can see that, but if you are single everyone you meet is a potential partner, and you will not be able to keep from thinking that when you meet. You will think to yourself “I wonder?” That in it self is an expectation! Unless you are as cold as ice the opposite sex stirs interest and the question of opportunity, even if not acted upon. |
| LJD |
Possibly |
| LindaH | | (reply to kcthedog) posted 9-Jul-2008 1:46am |
I think forming a friendship and then beginning to get the "I wonder" seems the most natural to me. Considering everyone you meet a potential partner, just like these dating sites, seems out of sequence to me. I guess that's what it is about it that isn't attractive to me. It seems out of sequence. |
| kcthedog | | (reply to LindaH) posted 9-Jul-2008 2:06am |
I think it is different if you are single verses being in a relationship. |
| LindaH | | (reply to kcthedog) posted 9-Jul-2008 2:19am |
When I was single, I was the same way. I didn't like guys thinking too far ahead, before we had even established much of a friendship. I still wanted friendship first. |
| mrmarm |
Hmm depends on what you call a 'dating site' I get asked out a lot by many of these 'internet people'. |
| cantilever |
Yes, if I needed to. I know friends who have done successfully - and of course the disasters!!! |
| jettles |
yes i would but i haven't previously |
| jettles | | (reply to LindaH) posted 9-Jul-2008 8:30am |
it would be like going anywhere to purposefully finding a partner, it doesn't happen that way. it really isn't any different than meeting someone anywhere else. it's all about your mindset and what you are expecting. if you are desparate then it probably won't work out for you. |
| Biggles |
Doubtful. |
| romkey |
I'm very happy with the relationship I have now, so it's not something I'd be interested in today. I wouldn't rule it out if I were looking for a relationship.
I know people who do this (or have done it) who have lists of what they're looking for, exacting criteria; they've met wonderful people who didn't meet one or two of their requirements and discarded them in hope of finding a better match. This behaviour seems a bit insane to me - it's like they're ordering from a menu. |
| TeddyMiller | | posted 9-Jul-2008 10:11am |
I met my girlfriend through an on-line dating service, Singlesnet. |
| Enheduanna | | posted 9-Jul-2008 12:11pm |
I'm not single right now, but if I were, I would probably not use an online dating service. I have never used one in the past. I can't rule it out completely, though, as it's possible I might change my mind. |
| LindaH | | (reply to jettles) posted 9-Jul-2008 12:39pm |
Well, I would think that when meeting up with someone I found on an online dating site, that they would have it in their mind: 'accept as a possible partner' or 'nope, not the one for me' instead of just taking me at face value and hanging out for the sake of hanging out and being friends. I don't want to be in a position to be examined and either accepted or discarded. I want to make friends. Dating sites, singles ads, etc all make me think of people who are 'sampling' other people. Checking them out, to examine for compatibility. I don't want to be in that position. It feels unnatural and uncomfortable. |
| Cain |
No.
But I know several people for whom the experience has been a positive one, two are now married! |
| llamamama | | (reply to kcthedog) posted 9-Jul-2008 2:39pm |
I dunno, you aren't me  |
| LindaH |
Hey, thanks to whoever neutralized the negative scores on my unoffensive, innocuous, sincere comments! |
| southernyankee |
Yes, I would be willing. |
| Pomeranian | | posted 10-Jul-2008 4:53am |
Well I certainly wouldn't join an online dating site to buy groceries. |
| Pomeranian | | (reply to romkey) posted 10-Jul-2008 4:54am |
the map is not the territory the menu is not the meal |
| highwaypatrolj | | posted 10-Jul-2008 1:04pm |
Ive tried it, easier than meeting girls in bars or clubs |
| highwaypatrolj | | (reply to LindaH) posted 10-Jul-2008 1:08pm |
isnt being "friends" just a way women use to reject you without hurting your feelings? |
| highwaypatrolj |
does singlesnet.com 100% free? or is just a trial membership? im looking for a dating site where women are online regularly, 100% free to browse profiles, message and reply to messages, how does singlesnet work ted? any help you can provide and i will let you slide on a ticket if your ever in los angeles |
| romkey |
No wonder I hunger! |
| LindaH |
Some women, maybe. To me, being friends is what I'd want to be if I like a guy enough to be a buddy, but am uninterested in a deeper relationship than that. I don't reject people completely. There's no reason to reject people that you can still be friends with.
I wouldn't want a relationship with a guy who was too eager to move straight into a deeper relationship.
I think dating sites, personal ads, etc skip a step and put things out of the sequence that I personally find ideal. Partnership isn't even at the back of my mind until friendship is established. |
| highwaypatrolj | | (reply to LindaH) posted 10-Jul-2008 4:23pm |
how long do women have to be your friend before a relationship romantically develops? is that different than "platonic friends" or fudge buddies? confusing to me |
| LindaH |
Not very long at all. It's more about seeing someone as a friend before seeing them as a potential partner.
I'd rather meet someone in a regular 'everybody' bar than in a singles bar. I don't like the idea of being 'scouted out' by someone who is looking for a partner. I'd never actively look. It feels un-natural. I wasn't actively looking when I met my husband. The same thing goes for everyone before him. My method is to meet and get to know people, without ruling someone out as a potential partner, while remaining their friend. I have a hard time with the idea of actively looking for a potential mate, and seeing all these prospects as potential mates, rather than seeing them just the way I see everyone else. I'll take people at face value easier if I'm not scrutinizing their flaws at the back of my mind, trying to decide if 'this is the one for me'.
If I (hypothetically) met up with someone I found on a dating site or a personal ad, there's always the chance they are only interested in romantic relationships, and would automatically rule me out as a friend. I wouldn't want that. |
| highwaypatrolj | | (reply to LindaH) posted 10-Jul-2008 4:55pm |
i get a lot of women that flirt with me in my line of work, aka flirt with the patrolman maybe he wont write you that ticket, so i have a hard time determining a real flirt and a flirt to get out of a ticket, how do i discern them? |
| LindaH |
 no idea |
| cerealkiller | | posted 10-Jul-2008 6:22pm |
No, but would to find pussy |
| highwaypatrolj | | (reply to LindaH) posted 10-Jul-2008 6:23pm |
I had one girl i stopped on the 710 freeway, she was going 23 mph according to radar, she had traffic backed up because all the trucks wanted to pass the car, if fudgeen 18 wheelers pass you on los angeles freeways, speed it up!!! traffic is bad enough without miles of trucks blocking the fast lane because of 1 dumbass, i stopped her, approached the vehicle and asked are you ok? she said yeah just enjoying the scenary, i said what the fudge? you were going 23 in a 65 you on drugs or have a death wish? she said no, im not in a hurry, i said what your doing is stupid, lll let you go if you promise you will do atleast the speed limit? she said ok sorry sir, then she stepped out and walked up to my vehicle, i said whoah maam stop right there and show me hands!!! she stuck her hand into purse, i drew my weapon and said you have 3 seconds to drop the puse or ill start shooting, then she got on her knees crying, i cuffed the subject and called it in, turns out she just wanted to give me her phone number because she thought i was cute, i apologized after checking the purse revealing no weapons, stupid crap people do |
| TeddyMiller |
The basic membership is free, but they charge for an upgrade. Free members can put up and browse profiles, but paid members get higher priority in listings and matches, and either the sender or receiver has to be a paid member for free messages. |
| highwaypatrolj |
so unless i pay for the service i can't chat with members (paid or non paid?? stupid, i tried plenty of fish.com it' 100% free for everything but no luck there, know any other sites 100% free? |
Iseult  | | posted 16-Jul-2008 12:20am |
No. I'd join out of boredom or curiousity, but not out of noble persuit to 'find love'. |
| cloudhugger | | posted 19-Jul-2008 3:03pm |
Absolutely not. If I was single right now, I would remain single. I am not ever going to go through dating or falling in love ever again. Not gonna do it, this one is my last partner. If she is gone, I am going to be that pathetic loner all the other people point at and talk about and I won't care, it would be easier than having to let anyone into my life ever agin.
I feel a bit strongly about this. |
| docgbrown | | posted 25-Jul-2008 6:40am |
I married before they came out. |
| JessicaWoman99 | | posted 27-Jul-2008 10:21pm |
No these online dating sites charge you to get a date and they even go as far as charging you money to send
an e-mail they are a fraud |
| JessicaWoman99 |
> I had one girl i stopped on the 710 freeway, she was going 23 mph
> according to radar, she had traffic backed up because all the trucks
> wanted to pass the car, if fudgeen 18 wheelers pass you on los angeles
> freeways, speed it up!!! traffic is bad enough without miles of trucks
> blocking the fast lane because of 1 dumbass, i stopped her, approached
> the vehicle and asked are you ok? she said yeah just enjoying the
> scenary, i said what the fudge? you were going 23 in a 65 you on drugs
> or have a death wish? she said no, im not in a hurry, i said what
> your doing is stupid, lll let you go if you promise you will do atleast
> the speed limit? she said ok sorry sir, then she stepped out and walked
> up to my vehicle, i said whoah maam stop right there and show me hands!!!
> she stuck her hand into purse, i drew my weapon and said you have
> 3 seconds to drop the puse or ill start shooting, then she got on
> her knees crying, i cuffed the subject and called it in, turns out
> she just wanted to give me her phone number because she thought i
> was cute, i apologized after checking the purse revealing no weapons,
> stupid crap people do
Oh gee good heavens this woman she had to be some mental nut case to do this to you or maybe she wanted to
stalk you but her brains were not there in her head good lord you would have shot her and all the right reasons
for your safety and you never do know with all these crazy insane people and what they will do is beyond you
and me WOW
|
| highwaypatrolj |
my back up said she had a prescription for Prozac and Zoloft,and some pain killer meds and anti anxiety meds i can't even spell, she was spun on legal pills, antidepressents, she was arrested for operating a motor vehicle while under the influence of a controlled substance, she had a legal right to have the pills but not supposed to drive while on them, i couldn't even tll she was spun i just assumed she was a space case, my partner recognized the effects of the pills, got another maniac driver off the street, job well done |
| JessicaWoman99 |
> my back up said she had a prescription for Prozac and Zoloft,and some
> pain killer meds and anti anxiety meds i can't even spell, she was
> spun on legal pills, antidepressents, she was arrested for operating
> a motor vehicle while under the influence of a controlled substance,
> she had a legal right to have the pills but not supposed to drive
> while on them, i couldn't even tll she was spun i just assumed she
> was a space case, my partner recognized the effects of the pills,
> got another maniac driver off the street, job well done
Ah no wonder it explains her strange behaviour and just like drinking and driving people think they can get away
with this as well some kooky nutty people gee glad you are getting them off the road before they hurt somebody
innocent or harm themselves good job! |
| highwaypatrolj |
i get paid whether they go to jail or they don't, that's what i tell them, what you do for a living? |
| JessicaWoman99 |
> i get paid whether they go to jail or they don't, that's what i tell
> them, what you do for a living?
Well i work part time at a gift and candy store and I work out back in this warehouse , i do customer orders pack and
ship them Federal Express so computers i am pretty good at all week long whether at home or at work
I work with teenage girls and gee are they ever silly and giggly yee yee and yes i am getting to be just like them
tee/hee
|
meowry  |
Been there, done that. End of story? No! |
