| User | Comment |
|---|
bill   |
50/50 split? I really don't know.
It depends on whether I like the parents or the kid. People I like always seem less guilty to me. |
Melf    | | posted 8-Apr-2008 10:12am |
Depends on what her personality is like. Some people are just like this. Also, it's not like any parent would want their child to be like this. |
| thecomic22 | | posted 8-Apr-2008 12:26pm |
This was me as a teen, & no, you cant always blame the parents. The parent can only do so much. The teen has to be held responsible for their actions. |
Galomorro  | | posted 8-Apr-2008 12:49pm |
Often but not always. Kids this age are normally rebellious. Hopefully if she is actually able to TALK to her parents, she might straighten out later. Kids get way too much influence from their peers and this has a lot to do with it too. If they're followers and don't think for themselves, and don't have a good, open relationship with their parents, they could get into all kinds of trouble. |
LindaH   |
Sometimes. In the teen years, it's more of an independence thing. Teens are deciding for themselves which rules are reasonable, which ones are worth breaking, what are all these things about, that the adults are trying to hide from us? Exploration is just naturally going to happen. Parents aren't always to blame for it. Reigns that are way too tight cause worse problems than reigns that are way too loose. |
| Lahdee |
Often kids are wild when given too much leniency and freedoms at too young of an age or too much sheltering/being too strict or unreasonable. Sometimes the parents are at fault by lack of communication and the way they raised the kid. Other times, there might be other things going on, like a mental illness-possibly bipolar disorder or something. That kind of thing can make a kid a bit rebellious, no matter how well the parents did raising her. |
| autumnlight |
It depends on why she is doing it - it could be a number of things; bad parenting, falling in with the wrong crowd, lack of self confidence, bullying, exam pressure etc |
| judgescratch |
I don't know. |
| kcthedog |
I am not a parent so maybe I am not qualified to answer, but I will anyway! IMO the parent bears the responsibility of the behavior of their children until legal age eighteen or so. Having said that peer pressure is very strong but the example you gave shows a blatant disregard for and a total lack of respect for the parents. It is hard nowadays with television and computers along with both parents possibly working for a parent to monitor all the activities of a young person, but still it is their responsibility. I also do not believe yelling helps at all, I see yelling as the parent (who is supposed to be more mature) who has lost control of the situation. Privileges are how you curb bad behavior “tough love” given in a timely manner before bad behavior becomes habitual is necessary. Once the problem becomes a problem it is going to be “tougher” then if the child was reared to show respect and not act out at a very young age.
The question, is it the parents fault? Is Yes! The exception to this would be if the child has learning disabilities or is handicapped in some way.
There is an expression that goes like this………”The acorn does not fall far from the tree!” meaning that children often emulate behavior that they witness their parents display, yelling is a good indication that maybe the parents need to examine how they conduct themselves in the home and in their personal relationships.
|
| romkey |
There's not nearly enough information here to have any clue as to where the parent's responsibility lies. |
| ausfox |
No, teenagers have minds of their own and I think it is about them learning to become adults |
| RGirl |
By the time a kid becomes a teen they are choosing to behave or be a-holes all on their own. The parents aren't always to blame. |
| dilfreak |
Sometimes I would say it is the parents fault. Teenagers by nature are rebellious, but parents need to approach that rebelliousness correctly. Sometimes what parents do only enlarges a childs rebelliousness. |
| Crayons |
I think it's the parents' fault, most of the time. I mean, if they had a stronger relationship with their child and just tried to listen to them for once they would get a lot of respect. It's just that once they have a teenager it's almost too late to turn back. It's like a tumor that keeps growing and they don't notice the problem until it's just swelled up and impossible to control. If the kid has low self esteem and needs to do bad things to fit in or they're depressed they could use family counseling or at least the parents should be willing to listen. |
| dab |
I think nearly all teens will do this to some extent. It's just part of growing up, the transition from child to adult. If the parents have done their jobs years ago, their lessons will stick as the kids go through this. |
| llamamama |
No, the kid is just a jerk..It pains me how not nice kids my age are. |
| Enigma | | posted 9-Apr-2008 12:52am |
Yeah it's the parents fault. Particularly the mothers. Everything is the mothers fault including the fact that the kid was born at all. |
| cloudhugger |
It depends on a lot of things. It could be the doctors fault for the vaccines given to the daughter as a baby, they may have caused stress issues from the heavy metals and toxins that didn't agree with the little body/brain. It could be the parents are great but the majority of parents in the area totally suck as parents and it is hard to top peer pressure. It could be there is an adult at the school harrassing the girl, singled out from the crowd and causing her stress. It could be a drug pusher hanging out at the malt shop fudging with the kids innocent little head.
Or it could be the parents fault for having her. Who knows. She is a teenager anyway nd it's time to take responsibility for being an adult. she is obviously doing adult type behaviours, the parents may have lacked on that part of her education in the home growing up.
Not everyone is good at everything and why does someone else have to pay for the stupid actions of a teenager anyway? |
| cloudhugger | | (reply to Enigma) posted 9-Apr-2008 9:12am |
I agree, but it is more accurate as "Everything is the mothers fudging fault including the fudging fact that the fudging kid was fudging born at all."
 |
| cloudhugger | | (reply to romkey) posted 9-Apr-2008 9:13am |
That is because the parents stepped out for a beer and a cigarrette. |
| Jody | | posted 9-Apr-2008 11:39am |
My experience with my teenage stepdaughter indicates that regardless of what lessons, lectures, rules, restrictions, punishments, incentives, and precautions you take, some people will just do what they want to do. At this point, our goal is to, within our means, keep her as safe as possible from her impulses. We know we can't protect her from all of the consequences of her actions, nor should we (how else will she learn?), but we try within reason to minimize their impact on her life and physical wellbeing. |
| JessicaWoman99 | | posted 9-Apr-2008 12:34pm |
Hardly sometimes can it be the parents fault , no matter how hard the parents try to raise us we are going to find
trouble and create chaos |
| southernyankee |
Depends, as always. |
| Iseult |
Sometimes it's the parents fault. |
| Zang | | posted 10-Apr-2008 11:42pm |
Absolutely!
Either that or those damn video games...  |
| moviesnob | | posted 11-Apr-2008 12:08pm |
It really depends. Parents can do everything they think is right and appropriate and some people are just going to go that way. At the same time, it could have a lot to do with how she was raised and the values instilled in her. No way to tell, in some cases. |
| Enheduanna | | posted 18-Apr-2008 1:16pm |
I think parenting usually plays a role, even if it's not the whole picture. |
| southerngirl07 | | posted 16-Aug-2008 4:59pm |
Oftentimes, such behavior is the product of excessively strict, overbearing, inflexible parenting. I mean, moral guidance and structure can only take one so far; beyond that, sometimes parents need to accept that their teens are learning to be adults and need to be given the freedom to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. Otherwise, they'll "rebel", so to speak, to try to separate themselves from their parents and prove their independence. There are, however, some kids who will just act that way no matter their parents attempts to cooperate. |
