| User | Comment |
|---|
Crayons   | | posted 17-Feb-2008 5:01pm |
He doesn't know where this is going, they might actually get married. Women have persuaded men to do a lot of things. |
jettles  | | posted 17-Feb-2008 5:03pm |
no, they are both adults and have both made their thoughts known and he is really the only one of the two who is following his current ideals. jessica is the one who is not following her ideals if she thinks he is going to change. he shouldn't have to be her conscience!! |
| Biggles | | posted 17-Feb-2008 5:25pm |
No, I wouldn't say it was morally irresponsible, but it's not particularly gentlemanly. |
JessicaWoman99  | | posted 17-Feb-2008 5:34pm |
No John he wants nothing to do with me and I hate his manners |
| JessicaWoman99 | | (reply to Crayons) posted 17-Feb-2008 5:35pm |
> He doesn't know where this is going, they might actually get married.
> Women have persuaded men to do a lot of things.
No we have called off our marriage and scrapped all plans oh boo hoo |
dab   | | posted 17-Feb-2008 5:42pm |
He's not misleading her so I say, "no". Sounds likely to end with hurt feelings though. |
| LindaH | | posted 17-Feb-2008 6:27pm |
No. He's been honest with her, and she chooses to continue the relationship. She's an adult, she'll give up when she feels like it. In the meantime, they are both enjoying the ride. |
they  | | posted 17-Feb-2008 6:33pm |
Nope.
She knows what he wants/does not want. |
| southernyankee | | posted 17-Feb-2008 7:50pm |
No, other than the fact they work together. |
| LindaH |
What's wrong with co-workers going out? As long as one isn't subordinate, I don't see an issue. |
Pomeranian  | | posted 17-Feb-2008 8:28pm |
The John I know would never date Jessica! |
| southernyankee | | (reply to LindaH) posted 17-Feb-2008 8:30pm |
It can, potentially, if they break up. |
| LindaH |
It's no more likely than two co-workers deciding they don't like working together anymore. I don't see it as something to anticipate and/or worry about. |
| RGirl | | posted 17-Feb-2008 9:14pm |
No. Jessica is a big girl and probably believes she can change his mind at some point down the line. It is her own fault when she gets heart broken because John was up front from the beginning. |
kcthedog  | | posted 18-Feb-2008 12:01am |
No! Sounds like he put it right out front! Jessica on the other hand, has a big issue about making her own decisions, she is willing to risk her future happiness on someone who admittedly told her that he does not want what she wants, and to cling to a “hope” that John will change is unreasonable and could be considered morally irresponsible. |
| ausfox | | posted 18-Feb-2008 1:43am |
No I don't think so. he has told her where he stands. You could also ask whether she is being responsible, continuing when she knows how John feels. |
| LJD | | posted 18-Feb-2008 2:08am |
I think they're both wrong. She's naive, she thinks she'll change him, but doubt it...depends on his age. He is going with her, primarily for sex. This is wrong. |
| kirst | | posted 18-Feb-2008 8:44am |
Not if he is upfront with her about not wanting a serious relationship. FYI: How old are these people/characters? |
| shrink06 | | posted 18-Feb-2008 9:00am |
Just because he has been honest with her about his intentions does not mean that he is being responsible about continuing to have a sexual relationship with her. If he suspects that she is hoping he will change his mind, then he either needs to have an explicit conversation with her about this or else end the relationship. A morally responsible person does not choose to pursue their self-interests if they know there is a chance that their behavior is hurtful to others. |
| bill | | posted 18-Feb-2008 9:16am |
John has been honest, so I don't find much fault with him.
Jessica is being an idiot, though. She should find someone else, if she really wants a to be married and have a family.
Jessica needs to take some responsibility for her life here. Throughout the story, it sounded like she's just passive about everything. |
| ScubaScott | | posted 18-Feb-2008 10:56am |
Nope. He put all of his cards on the table right from the start. |
| moviesnob | | posted 18-Feb-2008 1:26pm |
No, he's not. He's been nothing but completely upfront about what he wants and doesn't want. Jessica is putting herself in for a world of hurt, and John would be wise to back off, as he's just going to bring himself drama if he wontinues with her.
Although he really should just talk to her, she might be fine with just having a fling at the moment and finding someone serious later. |
| Enheduanna | | posted 18-Feb-2008 7:08pm |
Why not ask if Jessica is behaving in a morally irresponsible way? Why should only one of them be responsible for the decision not to date given their different relationship goals? Both John and Jessica are being up-front about what they want in a relationship. They are both adults and can make their own decisions, and they are both deluding themselves if they expect the other person to change or to be OK with the status quo after a few months. When this blows up in their faces, they should both be able to say that they saw it coming. I find the suggestion that it's only John's responsibility sexist in the extreme; it suggests that poor little Jessica can't help being carried away by her emotions, and big, strong John should be the adult in the situation and save her from her naive dreams. |
| LindaH | | (reply to shrink06) posted 18-Feb-2008 7:28pm |
A responsible person takes responsibility for their own expectations, especially if no one is misleading them. Jessica's expectations are irresponsible, not John's actions.
If I'm out running errands with a wad of cash, some friend plops theirself in the passenger seat offering to keep me company and I'm upfront that I will NOT buy them anything, am I morally irresponsible for letting them join me knowing full well they still think I might buy them something? |
| Irene007 | | posted 18-Feb-2008 10:05pm |
No, Jessica is just stupid... She has to move on. |
| Melf | | posted 19-Feb-2008 7:56am |
Um. |
| joachim | | posted 19-Feb-2008 9:09am |
I guess it depends on the precise definition of "irresponsible". I mostly feel he's done his part by honestly informing her about how he views the relationship. I suppose one could imagine that he's behaving irresponsibly by not preventing her from behaving in a way that's self-destructive, but then you get into all these issues of free will that I think are difficult to work with in real life. Bottom line for me: he's not forcing her to behave in a way that is pleasant and not highly detrimental - so I vote no. |
| icurok | | posted 19-Feb-2008 11:16am |
John has repeatedly stated that he doesn't want to settle down or get married or have kids.
Jessica has repeatedly stated that she does want to settle down and get married and have kids
John is continuing to date Jessica because he is happy with the status quo.
Jessica is continuing to date John despite being unhappy with the status quo because she imagines that he will one day change his mind
Conclusion - Jessica is a tool. |
| cerealkiller | | posted 19-Feb-2008 2:58pm |
No. Jessica is lying to John since Jessica can't have a family unless adoption is an option.
Shouldn't this be a 'hypothetical question'? Can't see any reality in this, sorry........... |
| justjulie | | posted 19-Feb-2008 4:05pm |
no...she is for wanting to change him |
| Zang | | posted 29-Feb-2008 2:28pm |
If anyone is being "morally irresponsible" in this scenario, it would be Jessica. |
