Would you guess this child had emotional or mental problems or simply a lack of discipline?

Even though you have never met this kid, I will describe him and I'd like you to analyze him and tell me what sounds closer to the problem, based on these few facts. Do you think he has discipline issues or emotional or mental problems. Maybe both.

He is 8 years old and a year behind in school. He cusses like a sailor, acts violent (hitting kids and animals with bats), bossy, telling other children what to do or not do in their own yards. He claims that he can "do whatever he wants" because other adults "aren't his parents" and cant tell him what to do (in their own home). He whines and says "My mom lets me!" when told to go home. He runs around inside screaming and chasing the kids. When told that he needs to play outside, he will whine that it's too hot and acts pushy about playing indoors. If a kid says you can't play here if you are mean, he says he can do what he wants and doesn't have to go home. He says his mom lets him stay as long as he wants at other people's houses and says no one can make him leave. He seems very angry, and always on the defense, yelling down to other kids every moment and seems to rather play mean than nice. He throws things, punches and stays away from his own home from morning until bedtime, except to go to his door every 2 hours to check in.

I believe his dad is in the military and possibly a higher rank than most enlisted men. His mom is a stay at home mom. He has no siblings.

What is this kid's problem?

Votes	Answer
19	Both.
17	Lack of discipline or he wasn't taught any better.
8	There isn't enough info for me to make even a little guess.
7	He has emotional or mental issues.
6	Other.
0	Neither.

User	Comment
Amanda	posted 29-May-2007 1:19pm I'd say a combination of both. He certainly sounds like there's no discipline. It also sounds like he's acting out for a reason. Maybe he's not getting attention at home. If his dad's not around, maybe he's acting out because of that. When kids don't get the attention they crave, they'll act out to get attention. To them, negative attention is better than no attention at all.
romkey	posted 29-May-2007 4:31pm I wouldn't care to guess, I don't have enough information or experience with children.
ausfox	posted 29-May-2007 4:43pm I would say lack of discipline or that he wasn't taught any better. His mum is a stay at home mum, but he is away from his house from morning until bedtime and he is only 8??
LindaH	(reply to ausfox) posted 29-May-2007 4:55pm I had a kid like that in my neighborhood before, same age, same deal. I have no idea why their parents let them roam the neighborhood all day.
RGirl	posted 29-May-2007 5:16pm I'd first look into why he doesn't want to be in his own home.
jettles	posted 29-May-2007 5:17pm definitely a lack of discipline which would be from not being taught by his parents and others letting him do what he wants so they don't have to deal with his tantrums, if he really is harming animals and other children, he possibly has emotional problems as well. someone obviously needs to go to his mom and possibly his dad and tell them he is a problem and doesn't play well at your home and harms children and animals. the other thing that may cause his acting out is if there is a problem in his own home with some type of abuse......... usually those children are somewhat withdrawn though but not all are.
Iseult	posted 29-May-2007 6:02pm While I'm no expert and haven't had any experience with kids, I'm going to take a wild guess and say the kid needs discipline. Some serious boot camp discipline. Nevertheless, I'd have to meet his parents first and see them interact.
ultamate	posted 29-May-2007 8:13pm I'd say both.
llamamama	posted 29-May-2007 8:38pm There isn't enough info..but I'm going to say, emotional problems..maybe he's add..
Enheduanna	posted 29-May-2007 9:02pm I don't know. I would really have to know what it's like in his house. This seems a little extreme to be only lack of discipline, but it's possible that with discipline any emotional or mental problems would be controllable. So I guess I think it's both; or if not lack of discipline, then lack of something from his parents. Which I suppose could translate into emotional problems. So I guess it's all the same in the end.
mrmarm	posted 29-May-2007 11:30pm I think I mentioned this during quailification but I've got a feeling that the father's got something to do with the kid's bad atttitude. I know a drop kick who probably acted like that when he was that age, believe the best solution is afew punches to head before he gets to high school.
cabinfever	posted 30-May-2007 1:27am Lack of discipline or he wasn't taught any better. Sounds like a future serial killer in training.
they	posted 30-May-2007 7:11am Crappy parents.
labjog	posted 30-May-2007 7:12am Kids need structure and discipline to develop into functioning adults. They need to learn manners and limits along with lots of love and encouragement. It sounds like this child is lacking in all of the above.
bill	posted 30-May-2007 8:44am I have no idea, but I agree that something is wrong. And, I would tend to assume there's something bad going on at home (his parents are causing it). But, maybe not. I saw some crappy TV show a few years ago that had a segment about kids who have tantrums a lot. They had video of the kid freaking out and it was really pretty bad. I forget how they dealt with the problem, though. But, they had some solution to it. My impression is that the kid simply needs more attention. He needs someone to be with him and show they care about him for extended periods, until he feels better about himself. My guess is that he's in a cycle of feeling low self-esteem which is propagated by how people seem to treat him as he acts out. So, show him that he doesn't have to be like that to get attention. Show him he's worth something, that he's loved, etc. Then as he starts to come around, introduce boundaries that hopefully he'll then respond to. This is what his parents should have done. So, either they didn't and they are at fault. Or, they did, and he has some kind of mental problem.
kirst	posted 30-May-2007 11:23am First of all, it sounds like he doesn't get much attention. Where is a parent when he's wandering around other people's houses? It also sounds like no one's put in much time teaching him basic manners and what is expected of him. I would suspect that there are some issues at play here as well, though. Kids normally want other people to like them (or at least some other people). This kid doesn't apparently. The hitting with bats is also a red flag. That just isn't a normal thing. How does he act when his parent is around? How does the parent interact with him when his is behaving and when he is misbehaving? If this kid tried to come over to my house, I would make him leave. If you refused, you can bet that I would be on the phone to mom and/or dad.
kitti723	posted 31-May-2007 11:19am Id check to see if Mom was O.K. Maybe she isn't doing well with her husband away. I would try to discuss her son's behaviour with her and offer her some options if she agrees with you & just doesn't know what to do. She may not have any friends or family with her. If she gets pissed and slams the door in your face, the kid probably wont be aloud at your house anymore. You need to let that child know that this is your home and you make the rules and if he can't abide by them he can sit on the step until his Mommy can teach him to behave. I'd give him some bottled water and an umbrella & check out the window every 2 hours.
Jody	posted 31-May-2007 2:27pm You'd have to actually talk to the parents about the issues, find out what disciplinary measures they are using, and try to implement any further necessary discipline before you can tell whether it will work or not. If discipline, routinely and specifically implemented, doesn't work, certainly having the child tested for other issues makes sense (oppositional defiance disorder and the like).
Lahdee	posted 31-May-2007 4:25pm Her husband isn't away. I'm not sure if he is even military, but the house went on the market through the A/F, never went through a regular realtor, so I'm assuming he is Air Force.
EyesOfCharisma	posted 31-May-2007 5:40pm Lack of discipline
RGirl	(reply to bill) posted 1-Jun-2007 8:51pm My mother's solution to a tantrum was saying 'I'm leaving now' and just casually push the cart toward the next aisle totally ignoring the kid on the floor. Pronto that kid got up and behaved himself because being left was a horrible thing to think of I guess.
LindaH	(reply to RGirl) posted 1-Jun-2007 9:03pm Plus, theres no sense having a tantrum if no one can see it.
bill	(reply to RGirl) posted 1-Jun-2007 9:47pm I remember fooling around in the backseat of the car when my friend's mom was driving. We were going to the super-market (which was call "Stop & Shop"). We were just little kids, maybe 5, my friend and I, being silly. She got fed up with us and said something like, "If you don't stop fooling around, it's going to be Stop & Spank!". We stopped, but then we all laughed because it was such a silly thing to say.
southernyankee	posted 2-Jun-2007 12:00am Lack of discipline but thats still not enough information. Was he abused or just allowed to be this bad.
Zang	posted 2-Jun-2007 1:47pm Probably both. The crucial information would be seeing him interact with his parents. Obviously there's something wrong. I can remember kids like that when I was a kid. I think often it is a combination of things. The kid might have some mild mental health issues, but the parents don't handle it properly and it only makes things worse and that causes stress on the parents making them even less able to deal with the situation appropriately and the whole thing just increases exponentially. Snowball effect.
Zang	(reply to Iseult) posted 2-Jun-2007 1:49pm > Nevertheless, I'd have to meet > his parents first and see them interact. Glad to see some agreement on that issue.
Iseult	(reply to Zang) posted 2-Jun-2007 7:07pm Respect.
docgbrown	posted 2-Jun-2007 11:06pm Both and more
docgbrown	(reply to kitti723) posted 2-Jun-2007 11:07pm Good points
docgbrown	(reply to Zang) posted 2-Jun-2007 11:08pm You are probably right
Zang	(reply to Iseult) posted 3-Jun-2007 12:24am
Zang	(reply to docgbrown) posted 3-Jun-2007 12:30am Could be. I'm not a kiddie shrink and I'm doing this by "gossip". Not exactly top notch diagnostics, is it?
docgbrown	(reply to Zang) posted 3-Jun-2007 12:34am Sometimes 'gossip' can be the most pragmatic method.
Zang	(reply to docgbrown) posted 3-Jun-2007 12:44am I'm thinking "No"
JessicaWoman99	posted 3-Jun-2007 2:43pm Lack of discipline and mental problems, this kid needs a good Psychiatrist at once and some discipline
timidikis	posted 26-Jun-2007 3:05pm sounds like some of the kids ive met most are angry with home life or have adhd &odd or are autistic i know cuz ive raised 2 autistic children of my own with odd & adhd present not fun & requires alot of patience & can have violent outburst which they have no control over & will do opposite of what they are told & will try to give you a heartattack at every tuern with the things they do

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