When you're struggling with something and talk to a friend, what are you looking for from them?

Just someone to listen...expect nothing.

1. I don't discuss anything "I'm struggling with" with anyone.
2. I don't have any friends.
3. No, my wife isn't my friend.
4. My wife rarely has any rational thoughts to offer related to this planet.

Both sympathy and suggestions I guess. Depends what the problem is.

It depends on the friend and the problem, but generally I either want commiseration or advice. Sometimes I just want to vent, though.

hm... perhaps "sympathy" was a bad word to use. I guess it has a negative connotation.

I hardly ever bring struggles to anyone else. When I do, it's for advise. I don't look for sympathy. That would feel kind of pitiful.

A combination of both, but more advice--GOOD advice is at least twice as important as sympathy. I don't get useful advice very often. People don't understand where I'm coming from.

First to listen, and any suggestions if there are any or I ask for them. Usually it is to simply listen.

Advie, guidence, understanding.

Neither. Shut up and listen. Ask the right sort of probing questions.

I have a buddy who majored in psychology at university. He's a software developer now, but he's my number one sounding board and amateur therapist. If I have a problem, we go out for cocktails and I ramble. Works every time!

A distraction.

Understanding and clarity from a different point of view. I do not do this a lot. I mostly vent to my husband. We are best friends.

This question highlights the difference between men and women (in a general sense). Talk to a man if you want solutions for the problem, talk to a woman if you want empathy and sympathy. So it would depend what sex my friend was.

It depends on the situation. Sometimes one or the other. Sometimes both. Sometimes I just need to get it off my chest or use them as a sounding board.

just for them to listen.

Usually just to listen to me. Unless I'm asking for their opinion.

I try to not burden my friends I ultimately know what's best for me. I wouldn't want anything I discuss with anyone morphing into gossip. Most people live and die to tell gossippy news that is really none of their business.

an objective opinion and a hope that I am looking at the "thing" the correct way

Other... I just need someone to listen... a lot of times, I come to my own conclusions when I speak out loud to someone. If they want to offer suggestions, that is fine with me.

A cheesecake

I think it depends on the timing and the situation

I want to them to tell me what I want to hear.

I dont think in these terms

Neither and other.
I'm looking for someone to listen. I know I already know the answer, or know what to do, it helps to get the words out of my head and layed out on the table in front of me so I can look at it and everything seems clearer.

If I want advice I ask, sometimes my friends get over zealous with their suggestions, they are so busy blurting them out they are obviously no longer listening. Sympathy sucks, I would feel like a victom. Compassion is a better word, or understanding, I like that I am understood when it seems the whole world is against me, a friend would understand my struggle.

> A cheesecake

That is soooooo Golden Girls!!!

Great!! Now I've got the song in my head....

Thank you for being a friend,
Travelled down the road and back again.
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confident.

And if you threw a party-,
Invited everyone you knew-,
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend.

There... maybe you know it too and it will get stuck in yours

I am a golden girl.. the one in the pink dressing gown.. I know what you're thinking.. sex kitten or what..

No.... I was thinking... I wonder what's new in St. Olaf?

> I am a golden girl.. the one
> in the pink dressing gown..
> I know what you're thinking..
> sex kitten or what..


Also, I think Betty White is beautiful.... and the most talented of the bunch.

Why you're making me blush..

an opinion from some1 not so closely involved to be objective .they can see things i cant