What is the deal with bisexuality?
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| Is it a true sexual orientation? Is everyone bisexual? Is no one? Is there such a thing as sexual orientation to begin with? Is it a choice? Can it be changed?
OK, so not all of these questions are in the survey, but it always seems like whenever I start trying to answer any of these questions, all the rest of them come at me too. Then my head starts hurting and I pass out--and that's what you guys are here for! But let me just apologize in advance if your precise answer isn't down there. You know, limited space and all--don't want to put words in your mouth or anything. And damn that 255-character limit can be a dog sometimes.
But yeah, hopefully there's an answer down there that comes close to your thoughts or just gets you to think about things in a new way, and I'm definitely looking forward to hearing what everyone has to say...go team...
(Also--I know this might be a lot to ask--but if people could try as much as possible to steer clear of getting into whether bisexuality/homosexuality is morally right or not, yeah, that'd be good, and stuff. Cuz I feel like once it goes there, it's just not gonna come back...) |
| Votes | Answer |
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| 15 | Sexual orientation (S.O.) is not a discrete quality--human sexual preference is a continuous spectrum ranging from complete attraction to the opposite sex to complete attraction to one's own. Thus, in a sense, everyone is at least slightly bisexual. | | 8 | There are two spectrums of S.O., not one, with attraction to the opposite sex and attraction to one's own existing on two separate, independent scales. There is no trade-off between the level of attraction one feels toward one sex or the other. | | 5 | NO continuous spectrum--heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality are distinct categories. While heterosexuals are wired to be attracted solely to the opposite sex and homosexuals solely to their own, bisexuals are wired to be attracted to both. | | 3 | True, but these categories are somewhat fluid--it is possible for an individual's orientation to change, to go from, say, being bisexual for many years, then heterosexual, then homosexual and back again. | | 2 | No. There are only TWO discrete sexual orientations: homosexual and heterosexual. So-called "bisexuals" are one or the other; they act not out of biology, but out of boredom, horniness, urges to experiment, or for other nonbiological reasons. | | 0 | Yes, it is true that there are only two sexual orientations, homo- and hetero-, but bisexuals are not "just experimenting"--they are nothing more than homosexuals who have yet to admit their own homosexuality. | | 0 | This is true if you are male. However, due to their particular biological make-up, bisexual urges or behaviors in females can often be normal and healthy expressions of heterosexuality. | | 2 | Sexual "orientation" is a myth--all non-heterosexual behavior is chosen, and, for whatever reason, those who exhibit bisexual behavior happen to be choosing same-gender partners only some of the time. | | 1 | I completely and thoroughly disagree with all of those... |
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| User | Comment |
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LindaH    |
I have absolutely no idea. | | patarnone |
I can appreciate another woman's beauty, but I've never wanted to have an affair. | Enheduanna  |
I mostly agree with the first option, although I'm not sure I think that "everyone is at least slightly bisexual," mostly because I don't like trying to define what "bisexual" means. What I really think on the matter, though, is that this question isn't really important. No offense to you for thinking about it, and I'm not trying to diminish your own experiences and opinions. But I think that labels and categories aren't useful or necessary in regards to sexuality. Who really cares what someone's orientation is? Just let people love whichever gender they choose to love. Does it really matter why they love them? | | mandy |
For me...fluid categories. I remember in early early childhood being completely attracted to both sexes without question or shame. It was my natural tendency before I even learned, was told, directed, assumed to be or influenced by parents or society or moral values. I was blissfully in love with every attractive human I saw. I had encounters as a small child(playing doctor for lack of a better description)with all my little friends be they male or female. Throughout my life my crushes were on boys and many of my real life adolescent encounters were with my girl friends. As a teen I was boy focused completely. My first real official sexual experience at 17 was with a couple(male and female)although there was no actual contact with the female, she was his wife. Then I met the male who was to become my husband and father of my child. We were married for 8 years but during that time I did have encounters with females with my husband on occasion and an affair with a woman that led me to leave my husband for her. We were together exclusively for over ten years as a "married" couple and raised my child together. My longest, most emotionally satisfying, most devoted relationship of my adult life has been with a woman. When we separated it was because of my need to have sexual relationships with men once again. I hit my mid 30's and went completely insane for anything male. My desire for women, to be in a relationship or have sex with a woman has basically dropped off completely. It puzzles me because my desire for both sexes has always been pretty much equal. I can still appreciate the beauty and sex appeal of women but at this time the idea of actually having sex with a woman leaves me....stoic. I have had two encounters with women since I left my long term same sex relationship but they were with my boyfriend at the time, silly drunken giggly and mostly for him because he had never done that and it was cute to see his face light up and gave him such joy. To me it was more like...performing in a play. It was fun, I enjoyed it but for different reasons. I am now married to a man. I don't want to be with women at this point. But I will NEVER say "Never Again". Who knows if that desire will come back once my child bearing years pass. I have no idea. I hope this gives some insight. I do not believe everyone is bisexual and just in denial. I just know how I am. I just know my truth. | southernyankee  |
Its very complicated. I think its more on a spectrum, but not quite, since sexual orientation is not nessasairly mutualy exclusive. It doesn't mean that the stronger you are attracted to one gender the less you are attracted to the other. You could be a very horney bisexual just like you could be asexual. I gets even more complicated when you consider that some people have a fetish for tranies, chicks with dicks, etc.
As for the origin of SO, I think its MOSTLY inborn BUT (I know this may piss off liberals) I think some of it can be influenced by the enviornment and/or choice. For instance some guys are really into old women or 300 lb women. I don't think you have control over that. Your prefererance for the type of women/men that you are into is just as inborn as the fact that you prefer one gender over the other. However, the mass media can influence that, for instance if you watch enough TV telling you that you should find 5'6'' tall 100 lb women to be the ideal, you will end up considering the supermodel type to be attractive. If its possible to influence what type of women straight guys should be attracted to, I don't see why its not possible to at least partially have some influence of sexual orientation which can push you over the edge if you're geneticlly on the borderline. So no, I dont think SO is 100% geneticlly inborn, but its probabbly close. | bill   |
The deal is, you get to have sex with everyone! | | cerealkiller |
Anything other than heterosexual orientation is a deviation or mental abnormality. Like those who like children, animals, or blenders. | | RGirl |
The closest one is that sexual orientation is on a continuum. You fall somewhere between being exclusively attracted to the same sex and being exclusively attracted to the opposite sex. Some people are so far to one end you could say they will never run across some one of the same sex/opposite and be attracted to them. But I also believe your spot on the continuum changes throughout your life. | | CGTREE |
Did Jerry Seinfeld make this survey? | Melf  |
'Sexual orientation (S.O.) is not a discrete quality--human sexual preference is a continuous spectrum ranging from complete attraction to the opposite sex to complete attraction to one's own. Thus, in a sense, everyone is at least slightly bisexual.'
That's the closest to what I think, anyway. | | Enigma |
Woa I had to break for a snack part way through reading all this  | | cloudhugger |
NO continuous spectrum--heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality are distinct categories. While heterosexuals are wired to be attracted solely to the opposite sex and homosexuals solely to their own, bisexuals are wired to be attracted to both.
You think you're head hurts...that was alot of reading...and thinking...
Anyway, being bi myself, I find that it is one of the most misunderstood of all the SO's. I found myself many times being shunned by the straight community, and the gay community. Years ago while I hung out with the gay groups, if they learned I went out with males, I was treated like crap. I went through some pretty lonely years, and I thought everybody sucked. | | cloudhugger | | (reply to mandy) posted 3-Jan-2007 7:25pm |
I'm with you on this. | | Zang |
I think there's a number of ways sexual orientation can be defined. In order to answer this question, I would have to know which definition we are speaking of. Either way, I don't see an option that I find satisfying, so I picked "I completely and thoroughly disagree with all of those...".
- One could define sexual orientation strictly by behavior. However, I don't believe this is necessarily the best way to go about it. Sometimes people's behavior doesn't reflect their actual preferences.
- One could define sexual orientation as a subculture. I think in a lot of cases, this is what people really mean when they refer to some sexual orientation or another. Sexual behavior is usually private. The subculture is what is reflected in our actual environment.
- Probably the best way to define sexual orientation is by self-identification. If someone claims to be of this sexual orientation or the other, it doesn't matter what their behavior is or what subculture they appear to belong to. So, given that there is a word to describe people as "bisexual" and there are people who use this word to describe themselves, who are we to argue? | | Kristal_Rose |
I chose dual spectrum, but I think 'infinite spectrums' is closer to the truth. One may be partially attracted to sluts, really attracted to romantic innocents, and perhaps be into bi-types like Bowie somewhat.
Even if one did want to categorize people with discrete switches, the categories of types are immense:
Gender identity (male, female, both, neither = 4)
Gender role (male, female, both, neither = 4) (attire and lifestyle)
Birth physiological gender (usually male/female = 2)
Current (post-op) physiological gender (male, female, both, neither = 4)
Physical gender attraction (male, female, both, neither = 4)
Fantasy gender attraction (male, female, both, neither = 4)
4*4*2*4*4*4 = 2048 polarized gender types without considering these criteria on a spectrum.
Just the range of transexuals/transvestites/transgenders/drag-queens is pretty immense. Unfamiliar people are too quick to assume that wearing a dress implies you enjoy sex with guys.
If you through in discrete criteria for things like lust or romance, or behaviours, appearances, and mind-sets, (fetishes, dominance, spiritual attitudes, etc) and put those on a spectrum, you'd find that this planet hosts roughly 7 billion sexual types, not just two. | | hypersky | | posted 3-Jan-2007 10:26pm |
I'm not sure that bisexuality is a sexual orientation per se. I think it results from a need/desire to experiment or a genuine interest in both sexes. | | romkey | | posted 3-Jan-2007 11:20pm |
The best model for sexuality that I've found is that it's a relationship. People may be sexual in different ways with different people. Many people have one or two possibly repeated sexual experiences with someone out of their norm (one or two gay experiences when they're mostly straight, one or two straight experiences when they're mostly gay); this is difficult to model in a linear fashion a la Kinsey. They may identify as exclusively gay or straight but still have these exceptions.
I think that the origins of sexuality are partially genetic and partially conditioning. It's a very, very complicated response to both physiological and emotional/cognitive reactions.
I don't believe at all the old "everyone is really bisexual" thing; I've mostly seen it applied by people who really want to get into the pants of someone who's not interested. | | JessicaWoman99 | | posted 3-Jan-2007 11:20pm |
No in my opinion it should be continuous, spectrum)- And what does the word Spectrum have to do with this changing colors?? I am trying to understand this, and I want an all out WAR) let us bring it on baby, and you are right about one thing and that is: homosexuality , bisexual , and heterosexuality fall into different categories and all are not the same including transgender as well fall into many different categories, and being homosexual is being attracted to the same sex gay male and lesbian female, and bisexual is born 2 different sexes male and female hermaphroditic and having both male and female organs combined into one person? And heterosexual is being attracted to opposite sex male or female, and transgender is apart from all of these changing into the opposite sex from Male > to Female and from Female > to Male and becoming the opposite sex you know yourself to be and no more living a lie, and being your true self and who you really are? And there are cross dressers you can add to this list who wear clothes of the opposite sex and it turns them on | | JessicaWoman99 | | (reply to LindaH) posted 3-Jan-2007 11:24pm |
> I have absolutely no idea.
I could help you if you have any questions and read what I have posted? And bisexual is combined male and female organs hermaphrodite one person | | LJD |
I personally feel a bi-sexual person is a homosexual, wanting to also experience a heterosexual experience. | | icurok |
I'd say it's a spectrum, but I don't think that attraction to one gender necessitates an equal and opposite non-attraction to the other gender. That would mean that 50/50 down the line bisexuals are only moderately attracted to both. I chose a dual spectrum. That's not to say that the spectrums aren't connected. Our attraction to either gender can deviate throughout our life and sometimes these deviations can be synchronous (i.e. an attraction to one gender can coincide with a drop in attraction to the other gender). But I don't think that it's a single linear spectrum. | | Galomorro |
The first one. | | MiniMary | | (reply to yocko) posted 4-Jan-2007 5:44pm |
Sexual orientation (S.O.) is not a discrete quality--human sexual preference is a continuous spectrum ranging from complete attraction to the opposite sex to complete attraction to one's own. Thus, in a sense, everyone is at least slightly bisexual.
You are talking about 1948 The Kinsey Scale...here is a bit of it:
Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories... The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects.
While emphasizing the continuity of the gradations between exclusively heterosexual and exclusively homosexual histories, it has seemed desirable to develop some sort of classification which could be based on the relative amounts of heterosexual and homosexual experience or response in each history... An individual may be assigned a position on this scale, for each period in his life.... A seven-point scale comes nearer to showing the many gradations that actually exist.
As E said, what is the point in questioning a concept as to 'why' someone loves instead of 'who' someone loves? The human being. We all, at some point I believe, find a match for ourselves without looking at traits, genders, orientations, preferences...etc....We just know that this person feel right (in our life) and resonates with our 'being'. Whether it is a friend or a spouse....the personality of the ones we love (in our lives) shines through above everything else. Kinda like two best friends. One is straight and the other one tells him that he is gay, which is uncomfortable for the 'straight' men. A response like, "Wow, I wish I couldn't like him for being gay but I can't...he's my best friend"...This is a state to aspire to. We are people (heart & souls) first....anything else seems very clinical.  | | Kristal_Rose | | (reply to MiniMary) posted 4-Jan-2007 8:58pm |
[This is a general comment. I'm just replying to you because I thought you might find it interesting.]
On the question of nature or nurture, biology or choice, let me suggest that that is a moot point if one instead examines personae. I think most of us are familiar with the phenomenen of people being suitable for each other, or even dogs suiting their owner. Rather than questioning peoples choice, a more appropriate question would be 'Why are you who you are?'. I think the general future personality of any person is fairly evident by the time they reach age seven.
That a person might be bi is simply evidence that they are a multi-facted personality.
I know in my own life that choosing a life-long monogamous mate is a conondrum because a choice of a mate is a choice of who I am to be. Everyone brings out a different aspect of my own being, and I don't relish the thought of permanently limiting myself to certain facets of my personality. I'd rather giggle, be contemplative, feel cozy at home, seek adventure, and a million other things that no single other person synergize wthin myself.
For me, the various psychological mindsets I'm likely to have with a guy are completely different than the set of psychological mindsets I'm likely to experience with a gal.
If someone truly were purely straight or gay, I think it would indicate that they have no psychological diversity; that their entire persona and emotional range were in a sense monotone.
~
Another subject that this question brings up is the role of sexuality within a person. Are purely straight guys incapable of having any compassion or fondness for their fellow men? If they can, then this implies that their emotional and sexual aspects are completely seperate. If this is the case, they are doomed to having sexual lives of purely meaningless lustful non-romantic connection with their female partners. If their sexuality is in any way an extension of their emotional being (as I expect it is for most people), then they run the risk of being gay (which society mostly accepts) or incestuous or pedophiliac (which modern society does not accept). Earlier cultures were less polarised on these issues and lived more on a spectrum. People were more physically intimate with family and children without crossing the border. Our culture though mostly represses light sexual intimacy, and we end up instead with gay pedophile priests who connect sexuality to ultimate spiritual intimacy and purity. My opinion is that repressing light near-sexual intimacy throughout culture is a recipe for breeding perversion, the very thing such repression hopes to prevent. | | autumnlight |
I'm sorry, I couldnt be bothered to read that.
To each his own. | | Maztrmat | | posted 12-Jan-2007 2:09pm |
I like the term "expression" rather than "orientation." Being insecure, and having masturbated for years as a youth, I have more confidence that I know what to do to make a guy happy than a woman. Is it my longing for acceptance that makes me want to please others? That said, I enjoy loving gals too. (much softer than guys, but guys are fun too) .. .. .. How about you? | | mrmarm | | posted 26-Jan-2007 2:35am |
Straight and Gay are obvious, one or other, they both feel lust, love and so on. I think Bisexuality is possibly both sexualites gay and straight, it's hard to explain my point of view since I know very few out there bisexuals ( I still go to high school ) the last bisexual I knew was hard to understand, it was some where inbetween him having bigger eyes on girls and blind to guys and claiming to be a vampire. I think sexuality is a sexual view on a certain gender, where the person sees the sexual traits of one gender and not the other. There is another sexuality called Pan sexual where a person is willing to do any sexual experience even though they aren't bisexual with any gender. A Pan sexual mainly does this however to achieve a sexual experience, a bisexual presumably does so for romantic and sexual reasons. So maybe bisexuality is viewing and noticing the secret sex roles which both gender posses and equally favouring both. I guess, well I'm not a Bisexual. | | mrmarm | | posted 26-Jan-2007 2:40am |
But one thing I don't belief is that Bisexuals are closet homosexuals, because there is no gay guy I know who would want to ever have sex with a female or have the slightest interest in the female anatomy. | | hohoho | | posted 16-Feb-2007 1:55pm |
If there is such thing as 'human nature' when it comes to S.O. I believe it would be bysexuality. It's only the social taboos and fixations that make us ignore completely some level of attraction to the same sex. | | wannalicknsucku | | posted 19-Mar-2007 11:12pm |
Everyone is bisexual whether or not they are willing to admit it, it is true human nature. whether someone says that they are straight, gay, or what ever their chosen term may be the real truth is that everyine is bisexual. | | kitti723 | | posted 25-Mar-2007 11:53am |
Did you forget to take your meds or are you on something? I couldn't bring myself to read past line 5. | | RachelLyn | | posted 10-Oct-2007 4:05am |
There was another answer that I believe said roughly the same thing ... In any case, I love men. LOVE men! LOVE. MEN. However, because I'm secure with my sexuality, I feel comfortable pointing out a hot chick when I see one ... Giving credit where credit's due ... I've never been with a woman, but it's something I'd be more than willing to try someday. What the hell have I got to lose? I could never see myself in a relationship with one, though--probably because I'd grow tired real fast of competing for attention. | | Lilyellowduck_e | | (reply to Enigma) posted 19-Oct-2007 1:36am |
> Woa I had to break for a snack part way through
> reading all this
lol same here |
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