| User | Comment |
|---|
| pandora |
Oh bleh. This is not the way my house is run at all, and I would die if it was. Therefore, I can't decide. And I also, don't really understand the question very well. |
| milktree |
I'd be psyched to be able to house maintainance stuff and have someone else make the money and think about all that stuff. |
| hunter |
I'm interested in a particular set of household functions. I understand that no one's household is run precisely like this and most probably vary widely. The question is, if these were "jobs" within the household and you had to be one or the other, regardless of your sex, which would you rather be and which would you rather have? Pandora, is that clearer? |
| jonathan |
The proposed arrangements are so far from what I would seek to have that I can't pick any of the answers. I think the survey idea is good, but the implementation went a bit awry. |
| madamex |
I would be miserable with either choice, as both contain tasks that I would hate or perform badly, and would deny me the chance to do others I enjoy and do well. |
bill    |
I'm sort of half and half (I enjoy doing half of the tasks from each role), and thus I look for someone to do the other no-aligned half my complement. So, I picked other. |
| grmbrand |
I'd prefer an equal partner. |
| elijahblue |
Why does this have such a miserable rating? It's a thought-provoking question. I'd rather do most of the things myself, with the exception of fixing certain machinery and investing. But I think that rather than depending on someone else to do those things, I need to learn how myself. |
| pandora |
I guess I understand a little more. I would rather be the wife then. |
| mandy |
I want to be the boss!!!!!!! I want to be spoiled.!!!!!I want to be VERUCA!!!!! |
| fooyun |
Those so-called "traditional" roles do not work for me. Also, the relationship setup does not work for me. You are describing my parents' relationship. They are not romantic, and their relationship falls into "roles." That is my nightmare. |
| Gamera | | posted 2-Jun-1999 10:01pm |
I think the problem with answering this question is that it used words I am familiar with in a manner which is completely unlike any definition I am familiar with. If I were to strip away the romantic involvement and then pre-define the roles in the grouping described, I think I would be describing an employee. If I were hiring people to deal with the jobs described I might break them up in different ways, too. Since you've linked these to terms "husband" and "wife," it's just too difficult for me to separate the descriptions from all of the other things I believe go into these roles. |
SueBee  |
I really dislike rigid roles like this, but I understand what you're asking , so I'll play along. In general, I prefer doing the "husband" stuff and having my partner do the "wife" stuff, but I do a lot more housework than the stereotypical husband, and we put our heads together on most planning and decision-making. It works quite well for us! |
| SueBee |
Hunter - Would you get the results you're interested in by creating a survey listing certain tasks and asking people to rank them, or something like that? |
| hunter |
No, but thanks for the suggestion.
After reading more comments, what I think people are missing is that I wasn't suggesting reciprocality. That is, if you said you'd rather have a "wife," that doesn't mean you then have to be a "husband," just that you don't have to deal with the stuff the "wife" is responsible for, and vice versa.
Topper, I think you make a very good point and one that's becoming clear to me, that these words are too loaded for people to think of them out of the context of a partnership.
In many ways, my job as a personal assistant reminds me of the traditional "wife" roles (without having to think of England :)), so perhaps that's why it's more comfortable to me. Or perhaps it's just that my parents have a fairly traditional and very happy relationship, so I don't fear/loathe traditional gender roles as much as some people do.
Very sorry if I pushed people's buttons with this. |
| gilly |
Interesting. It's very clear to me that given the forced choice, I'd rather have a wife than a husband. But having to decide which role to fill myself, I find that while I'd find the role of wife annoying and tiresome, at least I have an idea of how to deal, whereas most of the husband jobs are beyond me. So I'd have to both be a wife myself and have one, which leaves the husband jobs sort of a problem. |
| hillbilly |
I would rather have two wives. |
| Jody | | posted 3-Jun-1999 10:04am |
I think, if it's not a romantic partner and merely a social setup, I would prefer to have a wife, and be a husband (providing I had money enough to subcontract any physical maintenance and repair I did not know how to do myself). |
| mandy | | posted 3-Jun-1999 11:41am |
I would want two partners, one who acts as a husband to me and one who acts as a wife to me.....deep, huh? They would love me and take care of things for me. Then I would neither have to cook or take out the garbage. I could just do surveys all day and nag them to take me places and buy me things! |
| SueBee |
LOL And people in hell want ice water.  |
| eris |
Interesting. Given these definitions, I would rather be a wife, and I would rather have a wife. The tasks in my household are not divided along anything remotely approaching these lines - all of us do things that are both "husbandly" and "wifely" using these definitions. |
| fooyun |
Okay, after Hunter's explanation, I guess I would prefer doing everything myself. My dad is semi-retired, does most of the driving, cooking, gardening, cleaning, maintenance, groceries, etc. My mom is a better business person than he is, and handles finances, calling banks, stock brokers, renters, etc. She also has a better grasp of English, so my dad is resigned to the more behind-the-scenes work. On the other hand, sometimes their roles clash and so there's no clear division between the two. |
| seven | | posted 4-Jun-1999 12:37pm |
Since you're making the roles "traditional" why not throw into the wife's responsibilities "maintaining her good looks and keeping her partner pleased sexually" |
| hunter |
There are many potential aspects of a marital relationship that I did not include here, because I am not addressing a marital relationship. |
| anonymous |
You missed "I would rather someone else perform all of these tasks and me sit on my lazy ass." |
| mandy |
That would have been my choice :) |
| Pooh_Bear | | posted 11-Jun-1999 3:13pm |
the blatant sexism and stereotypes in this survey bothers me. I don't believe those roles are as defined by the creator in this day and age. Gender roles have changed have changed so much that these "traditional" definition can't even be considered traditional. |
| hunter | | posted 11-Jun-1999 5:47pm |
Wow. I'm really stunned at the degree to which using the words "husband" and "wife" have blinded people to what I wrote. I think I'll wait six months and ask essentially the same question using "maid" and "butler" or something and see how the responses differ.
I love people; people are wacky! :) |
| bill | | posted 12-Jun-1999 8:38am |
hunter, how about making the new survey have a list of the things you would want someone else to do... You must know that what we're all bothered by is the traditional groupings and gender assignments you are using. |
| hunter | | posted 14-Jun-1999 8:21pm |
But I'm not making gender assignments...you are. I don't consider the words wife and husband to be necessarily gender specific, as most of you apparently do. I'm not upset about that. I realize that if I want to get at what I was interested in asking, I'll have to do the survey very differently, but I think it'll be better to wait and do it later. |
| jonathan | | posted 14-Jun-1999 11:06pm |
hunter, I think the issues people like myself have with this survey will remain so long you make arbitrary groupings of roles and responsibilities and ask which grouping we prefer. It might be better to do a survey with options like "I'd rather be responsible for X/I'd rather not be responsible for X." |
| bill | | posted 15-Jun-1999 1:09pm |
hunter, could you do the grouping of tasks in a non traditional way and still ask the question you want to ask?
e.g. one role might include car repair, finances, housechores and social planning; while the other might include decision making, house, lawn & tree care, childcare, and gardening. |
| gilly | | posted 15-Jun-1999 4:02pm |
I think the issue is more that we are talking about two job titles, each with a set of responsibilities. If you had to take one, and you had to hire someone else to do one, which ones would you choose? Certainly in real life we have the freedom to define the jobs and split up the responsibilities ourselves, but that's not what I think the question is looking for.
It's like asking "if you had to be either a secretary (someone who answers phones, writes letters, makes schedules) or an executive (someone who sits in meetings, makes decisions, writes business plans) which would you choose? If you could have someone else perform one of these roles in your life, which would you choose?
Hunter, am I right in what you're asking here? |
| supplicant | | posted 16-Jun-1999 2:29am |
hunter: you are making gender assignments basically. What do the roles of family finance and repairing a car have in common for instance? Taking out the garbage and making important life decisions? Social planning and gardening? Why group them together for any reason other than that's how they were traditionally grouped on a gender basis? |
| kirst |
The assumptions here are SOOOOOO sexist! |
