why do men beat their wifes/girlfriends?

All men don't.

...and what about capital letters?

Well, I hear that a lot from friends of mine that wives/girlfriends get beat up. I think it's sad when people do that. I think one reason why men do this, is because they have been drinking, and they easily loose their temper, and beat on them, of even kill them. I even read this in the paper in the police reports, and at times I would see black & blue marks on the lady, and they tell me what happened. And the lady, who is beat up is afraid to call the police, because they think they may get beat up again.

Am I going insane?

This passed?

I wouldn't know. I don't beat my wife. Stoopid survey.

Lot's of reasons:

For fun
Women deserve it
Mental problems
Abuse as a child
Substance abuse
Serialkiller apprenticeship
Power
Ignorance
etc, etc

What about the men who get beat by their wives/girlfriends? Don't hear about that much do you? My wife has directly assaulted me more than I ever have her. She has punched me in the face while I was asleep, pulled my hair, slapped me on various occasions. I only grabbed her by the neck and threw her into a wall once.

Why are you assuming men are controlling? Your assumption is based on stereotype and not valid.

How did this pass? As for an answer to your poorly written survey, not all men do. Personally, I'm not a man, don't date men and have never been struck by a man, or a woman for that matter.

Some men beat "their women" because they're savages that would rather dominate and control through means of fear rather than function as equals.

They detest their perceived weakness in women and wish to destroy, control and maintain their own feminine nature (or weakness - as they see it). The more insecure they are about their own strength the more likely they are to try to supress perceived weaknesses in others.

It's about power and control.

I think men who beat their SO's are lacking... in brains, integrity, balls, wits, masculinity... What passes for their soul is some withered, whimpering, broken-down, mindless creature that hides in the dark recesses of the rotten, putrefying mass they call a heart. They have to prove somehow they are more powerful than another person... what better way than to inflict cuts, bruises, and broken bones, so they have a lasting reminder of their 'superiority'? Not to mention the rush they must get from having that other person cower in their presence, refusing to press charges.

Because they're butt-holes?

Very well said... I think you have described the schoolyard bully to a 'T'.

I did nitpick this in qual for the lack of capitalization and spelling... guess they didn't want to bother.

Because they're secretly gay

How would I know why some men do this? I wouldn't even consider striking a girlfriend and have never understood why some men hit their wives or girlfriends.

I guess not. However, I noticed a couple of real turkeys currently in qual., but, from the looks of them, I doubt that they will bother to fix them.

Why can't people punctuate?

Because they have serious anger issues that they won't control.

You know, that's an awesome avatar. I thought I'd share it b/c I always think it when I see it. Good job!

I wasn't aware that all men did this. But if you are in a situation that you allow this to happen to you it is because you have chosen to be a victim.

BOOYA!! WTF

No idea. I've never been in a relationship where this happened and if a S.O. hit me, he'd be minus a hand before he could blink twice. I'm not anyone's punching bag.

Some girls like to be in that kind of relationship ! Those kind of relationship are not for me !!

Because they are pussies and can fight w/ a real man!!!!

This guy doesn't look like he could beat a cold...

I think that is all you hear about and see anymore. Look and listen some other places once in a while and see the good stuff going on.

I don't know.

I think abusers can't deal with their own problems and it's easier to release frustrations on someone close.

Not all abusers are men.

I believe the children are our future... teach them well and let them lead the way... Show them all the good they possess inside... Give them... a sense of pride - to make it easier. Let the children's laughter... remind us how we used to be.

PSYCH!!!!

I don't know any men that do this, but I do know a guy who gets beat on by his wife.

excess testosterone?
because they love too much?
because that's what daddy did?
because men suck.
because women deserve it!
because we all have our flaws and this is just one way our inner weaknesses can surface

I don't know of any person that beats their wife or girlfriend... I know I sure wouldn't...Thats just retarded to beat someone.

Good answer!!

How did this pass qualification???

They are unsocialized bullies who believe that it is all right to use force to get what they want, even if it means hurting somebody. Fortunately, these are not the majority.

They beat out of frustration and choosing to let go of their self control.

because they are emotionally insecure and ignorant.

For starters, it sounds as if you feel that all men beat their wives/girlfriends, which is not the case at all. It happens, no doubt about it, but these men (and some women too) are the exception, not the rule.

Men who beat their significant other are insecure (that's why they are controlling) and have little or no impulse control (that's why they actually start punching). They don't know how to curb their aggressiveness, and are usually immature emotionally. When things go bad (loss of employment or when they fudge up somehow), these men cannot assume the consequences, find someone to blame and start swinging. Unfortunately, that someone often is their signifiacnt other.

Most couples I know personally have a stronger female presence. I live in Québec, so maybe it has to do with the fact that Québécoise women are more emancipated than other women. Whatever it is, I don't feel that there's a spousal abuse crisis around me. That said, even one beaten woman is one too many.

You seem to believe that all men behave this way. That's not true. Maybe you need to get out more and see that this isn't the case with most relationships.

Because they're dirt. Men are butt-holes. Men are responsible for all ills in the world. The ebola virus is male. Men are responsible for that mess on your desk... theose spots on the carpet. It was a man who scratched your car. The eventual death of the sun... that's a guy thing. Men are responsible for the longest night, the coldest winter day and durian fruit. Plus they all sing off-key. That headache you've had all day... its name is Fred.

"That headache you've had all day... its name is Fred."

well then....that explains why it's been hanging out all day, for i've been calling it George.

Why do men, punch holes in walls, compete with children, and invoke the wrath of god against anyone who disagrees with them???
I'm a man and I couldn't tell you. (Though I don't do any of these things)

Because they still haven't evolved from their Neanderthal status. Simply put of course. Not all guys, of course. If this was true my response would have been oooga oooga grunt yipe.

thank you, i had a friend take the picture from the back seat of my car. It's my favorite picture of myself. Yours is pretty cool too. SUPERMAN!!

Because they're too afraid to find a man to fight with.

you have to ask my girlfriend..

While nowadays it does work both ways.. some women beat their husbands I spose.. and most men are not wife beaters.. that out of the way.. we all know that its a major problem and that it IS mostly men in domestic Disputes.. and I think
Men beat women I think for many reasons. Sad reasons. A big factor in all incidents is alcohol/substance related mingled with................

Insecurity- brought on by jealousy and a general hate for themselves..
maybe because they simply cant control their tempers, in this case it may not be only towards women ( although its easier to beat on women as the men are neanderthols and know that some women wont fight back) but men who cant control their anger will beat up anything to make them feel more powerful, ( kids, strangers, animals ect_) They are unable to remain calm and cool instead they let their anger erupt.

Also. Men may beat up women because often they have had 'weak'( or if it makes it more better sounding.. a 'not to strong' mother in their lives that neglected to instill in them that they should respect women. Or perhaps they even had sadly beaten mothers in their lives.. they have seen their fathers do the same thing and have a certain attitude.. that women are to be treated like crap and the man is the king of the castle.. they have a right to 'put them in their place ' ( basically to sum it up most of these men are un eneducated low lifes.)

Another may be bacause they are simply and utterly just psycho -pricks.

Everyone else thinks that you should have paid more attention in English class.

If you would like to hear about and see other things, I'd advise you to relocate yourself a considerable distance. What you describe certainly isn't normal. If it continues after you relocate, I suggest you seek psychiatric help as you probably have some kind of fixation.

I'd also like to add that domestic violence isn't always about men beating women. That's just the one that gets the most attention. I believe that a lot more progress will be made in this area when people stop using gender-based stereotypes and begin to focus on the causes.

Why does domestic violence happen?

I believe it is learned behavior. People who were taught as children to use violence to solve their problems will continue to do so. In relationships, these people have a tendency to gravitate towards each other. Very often, people who are victims tend to be victims in every relationship they have. Some people only make that mistake once. Very often the violence goes both ways, but the stronger of the two will inflict greater harm on the weaker. I believe the cycle of violence can be ended through therapy.

> Why does domestic violence happen?
>
> ... I believe the cycle of violence
> can be ended through therapy.

And/Or death.

I think most people would find therapy to be the preferred option.

I think the cycle of violence is better ended through relationship termination, personally. Why take chances? You know?

maybe I didn't feel like using CAPITAL LETTERS!!! ok

well why don't you go to the police? or tell somebody? It isn't right that she does it to you. No one deservses that. Not even a man. And you don't hit her back? right?

i'm not saying all men do ok. But there seems to be alot of this stuff happening anymore ok.

well you are a nice guy and you was probally raised right as well

what if you didn't know the preson was this way until years later??

i do see the good. I'm a christen, but for every good, it seems like there is a bad.

maybe i wanted to hear what people thought ok.

Of course I don't hit her back. then I get arrested. The law doesn't care about men abused by their wives. Hey, it's only happened a handful of times in 23 years so who cares?

I wouldn't ever call the police anyhow. If I reached a breaking point she would just quietly disappear. She only leaves the house a handful of times in a whole year so no one would notice. My daughter-in-law might go a month without calling and the boys never call so I figure I'd be good at least a month before she'd be missed.

1st for all, not all men do, and i know that. I don't hit by my b/f and i never would. but i just wish women would get theirselfs out of the sitution.

it doesn't sound like your realatioship is happy, and if you think u would kill her that's sick and wrong.

do you mean that they didn't start this sort of behaviour until later on in the relationship? I would assume there was something going in this persons life that has prompted this aggressive behaviour. What is new in this persons life?

y don't you say anything to anyone about it?

That looks more like child abuse.

ask cerealkiller, not me. he is the one that said it all.

I don't really think of killing her. Too many others on the list.

> maybe I didn't feel like using CAPITAL LETTERS!!!
> ok


No, it's NOT okay. If you can take the time to write a sentence, use proper English, spelling, grammar, punctuation and capitalization. It's one of my major pet peeves and you will be berated for it here if you intend to keep it up. And maybe get added to my list.

ok then.

maybe i'm doing other things to ok.
Plus i'm a teenager ok. GET OVER IT!!! I'll express how i feel about things the the way i feel like expressing them at the time . ok. If you don't like it , I honestly don't care!!

Ahh, that explains it - a child trying to communicate with adults. I didn't know that using proper English was something that didn't matter until you became an adult. Your bad habits now will follow you into your adult life.

You are free to say what you like here, but please do it using proper English. I notice that those like you who come to this site and are lazy, don't capitalize, use irritating forms of words like "kewl" and the like don't last long. They leave because no one talks "teen" with them. You don't find many teens here. Consider that.

Aside from that I'm happy to talk killing people, school, relationships, careers, whatever you like. You wouldn't happen to be about 14, latina girl would you?

I can use proper English. see. But I'm tried when i come home from school, w/ homework and track and volleyball, i don't really feel like using it correctly. Sorry if that bugs you. Well i uselly don't talk "teen". Way to sterotype. And no actually i'm not anywheres to being 14. I'm farm girl. Well Consider this. I'm not going no where. I like expressing my feelings about topics ok, and this is where i can let everything come out. If you don't like it i'm sorry!

> That looks more like child abuse.

Yes, yes... I'm sure he calls her "Mommy", so you're probably right.

For every shadow there is a light behind it.

Don't take it so hard, these are seasoned surveyers, and we are looking for this to stay a quality sight. Alot of people come and go, and the ones that stay do have a good time. Stick around and say what you need to say, these are all good people here.

Cloudhugger is right. My only advice to you has already been issue on another survey. Don't preach to grown-ups when you've seen so little of the world, as you are obviously quite young.

I think my mom did a pretty good job but it's never even occurred to me to hit a girlfriend, no matter what. I've had some in the past that have really pissed me off too but I try to work things out with them and, if that doesn't work, we part and go our separate ways.

Agreed. I would like it to be that no woman/child/anybody becomes the subject of abuse of any kind.

Everyone knows it. But if the cops get called he's always the one to go to jail. He left her a couple of months ago but went back after 2 weeks, the dumb ass. Oh well!

I already said it's fine to discuss any subject matter and express feelings. It just bugs me when people are too lazy to write properly.

Farm girl? Hot?

just scary lookin thats all.

Sheena & Haji comes to mind for some reason, like a bad women take over the planet Russ Meyer film or something.

"Haji" looks like a stick figure.

It is quite frightening. Some people are into that sort of thing. Hey, what floats your boat. I hope that was consensual.

I'm not preaching, but maybe some adults should see it too.

well That is really good of you! I've never had a guy hit me and if i ever did, it would be the last!!

Cops have no clue half the time. The government don't either.

Well, I'm not lazy. Ok!!

Right on.

tell me what do u don for a living????

Tell me, do you ever use the shift-key?

thank you.

No!!! sometimes. Do u not have a job? Cause you haven't told me yet!

I'm a deity. That's all you need to know. Now run along and look that up.

your a jerk.

You need to spend more time in school, little lady.

It's: You're a jerk.

And thank you. I am.

i guess your proud of it. Well I don't like talking to people like that and if you are going to be that way don't say anything at all to me then. ok.

It's: (capital) I guess you're proud of it. And Okay?

i only hit people to stop them from hitting me. man, woman, child, animal, doesnt matter. if they can hit me they can be hit. not hard of course. just hard enough to make them not want to hit me anymore.