Is it wrong to date a friends ex?

it's complicated. it varies from case to case.

I see absolutely no problem. Why should you deny two people's happiness?

I have always wondered this. I see this 'problem' often in American movies. Why is it such a big deal there? I have never heard about it here.

It's not wrong though I can see possible problems.

Fooling around isn't neccessarily dating. Having a toy is an entirely different level than actually caring for the person. To answer your actual question, no, but I strongly recommend discussing this with the friend.

Now, to respond to your explanation about 'fooling around', I highly discourage it as there's not real reason why they can't go 'fool around' with someone else, if it's meaningless.

Sounds like something young kids do, I have not been there in a long time. As an adult I would hope that as adults this silliness would be behind me.

I don't get it either, and I'm American.

Maybe someone else can explain it to us!

Well it depends on the situation. Assuming if I break up with a girlfriend, I have been dating, and another friend is dating her, I would not mind. If I am angry at her, and she is always on my nerves about something, I will let my friend figure it out.

Got to get the O.K. first

It depends on the people and circumstances involved. It seems unwise to do it if your friend would really be upset by it. And I think it's fine if you talk to your friend and your friend would be ok with it. But there are other possible scenarios, and I don't see this as one of those black-and-white issues. I don't tend to think of it in the terms you've presented it in, really.

Date her, fudge her, whatever you want. Why does it matter if she dated a friend of yours? I used to fudge a girl one of the guys in my band used to do. Big deal. Actually, it's kinda better that way. Then your friend can tell you how wacko the chick is.

It really depends on how close the friend is, how long the friend dated the ex, how long the friend and ex have been split, the relationship between the friend and the ex now, and what the friend thinks of you dating the ex. So, there's a lot of factors to figure in. It's not always wrong, but not always right. One of those situation by situation things.

in my personal opinion, if they dont think its too cool then dont do it. but i dont see how it would even be up to them to say if its okay, and then disown you because you did it. it was their choice to break up with whomever in the first place. so they cant be sad because they missed out on a hot girl/guy.

It's okay to date a friend's ex, but the best scenario would be that the friend in question is cool with it. If their relationship is over, it's over, and that should not be an obstacle to your happiness. All's fair in love and war, non?

You hopeless romantic, you!

It's not a moral issue. It may be unwise. It may not matter.

I did it a couple of times....me and my friend would just trade this one girl....she was my girl friend for a few weeks...and then she would switch to my friend...and then back to me....and soon...we didn't really care...

i don't know, i've never been in this situation. i can't say i'd do it, but i think every situation is different...it depends on those involved.

Yes. Someone did it to me in college and, 16 years later, I still haven't forgotten about it or forgiven her. It really ended our friendship.

No, it's not wrong, as long as you talk to your friend about it first and they're cool with it.

I would want to talk to my friend first because more than likely, the friendship will last longer than the relationship. And if they are amicable exes, then your friend might be happy that you two are happy together. If the breakup was nasty, then I wouldn't even go there.

I agree with this. As I said in the description I, personally, wouldn't date a friend's ex, regardless of the circumstances. It just seems like too big of a gamble. Even if your friend said he was cool with you dating his/her ex, he might not be completely okay with it. It's easy to say one thing because it seems like the right thing to say but feel completely different when it actually happens. Way back when I adopted my stance on dating a buddy's ex, I always said that true friends are going to be around a lot longer than most girlfriends and it's not worth ruining a good friendship over a girl. An old roommate of mine in college slept with one of my ex girlfriends and I haven't spoken to him since. Even though I thought I didn't care what she did after we broke up and I was dating somebody else at the time, when I found out they had slept together I was so pissed off that I couldn't see straight. I felt completely betrayed by all of my friends because they knew it had happened and no one told me about it. I felt betrayed by my roommate because, at the time, he was one of my closest friends at school. Most of all, I felt like a schmuck because I was the only one who didn't know it was going on. After a couple of weeks, she started dating someone else and didn't want anything to do with him and he more or less begged forgiveness, blah blah blah. I told him to go fudge himself and that I hoped it was worth ruining a three year friendship over. That was 8 years ago. I still get occasional phone calls from him and random emails. Neither of which I ever return.

Here's an interesting side note. I got an email a few months ago from his ex girlfriend (the one he was dating when I met him) and she said that she had always wished something would have happened between her and I. Looking back, I can pick out a few instances where she was coming onto me and proposing things. Having never entertained the thought of fooling around with a friend's ex, I dismissed it as normal friendly flirting (I have a lot of female friends that I jokingly flirt with. Maybe they're trying to tell me something, too ). I'd almost like to fudge her, just to spite him and then call him and tell him about it, because I know he'd flip out. I'm sure he still pines for her; he always referred to her as the "one that got away". She was extremely attractive, too.

Sorry for the lengthy post, I kind of got off on a tangent.

The lengthy post is alright. I get off on tangents all the time. You know, if you do go after that girl, you're only pulling yourself down to your ex-friend's level. But if you didn't care what your ex was doing, why get upset? Deep down, did you still have feelings, or was it that your friend didn't say anything?
I used to have a lot of male friends that I would jokingly flirt with. It wasn't because I wanted to sleep with all of them, but just wanted to feel attractive. It was a way to affirm my femininity, because I had a "man's job" and was always having to be tougher than the men at work to earn respect.
The time I felt most betrayed by friends is when I found out my fiance was cheating on me, and most of them knew it, and a couple of them even provided a place for them to "meet" (fudge). And the humiliation and feeling like a "schmuck" didn't help. So I guess I can empathize with you.

when you get past about 15 yes..

I think it depends on how long they've been broken up. Maybe on how close a friend it is too.

Certainly not. In fact, attempting to make this concept a "rule" is pretty stupid. I live in a fairly large city and I can see how limiting this would be to one's social life. For people who live in small towns it would be impossible!

Even in large cities, people with similar tastes and interests tend to form smaller social groups or "cliques". Just look at the math. Let's say that a group of like-minded people form a clique with ten men and ten women. After a few months, they have all paired off. None of the pairings work out, but all twenty people (going by the "rule") can no longer date any of the other people in the clique! Dumb dumb dumb!

I think it's kind of rude...... even if your friend says they don't mind...

But I can see how sometimes you couldn't help it.

I'd be upset if one of my friends dated an ex I used to be serious with.

Weird but not wrong

Only if your friend is opposed to it and he/she is really a friend. I have done this more than once (with the same friend). He was OK with it so I was OK with it. I did talk to him about it first.

Yes Yes Yes!

It depends of the situation !

"Fool around" doesn't sound like a serious enough relationship to wreck a friendship over. If that were the case I'd say it's not worth it.

I've done that before, and I have had friends do it to me.. At that point in a relationship, the current friendship is more important.. as long as it's not put at risk , it's ok.. Communitcation is the key!

I think it depends if your mates ex is hot or not, I wouldn't date them if they weren't hot.

I see zero problem with it. Especially when it's mutual and not the cause of the split.

No they broke up for a reason

well, the way i see it, when you do that the friend is gonna end up having a problem with it sooner or later therefore causing a strain in the friendship. but mainly, it's all in how you choose to look at it.

Not a very good idea but it would ultimately depend on the details. How close are you and the friend now, how serious were they, how does the friend feel, and so on? A personal matter that requires good judgment. If you can avoid it - you should. But in a case of the possible love of your life - that's a hard thing to come by --