When you are caught with an urgent need to pass wind in a public place, do you:

I will excuse myself if possible, if not I hope for the best.(That it won't stink)

Only while in motion, and then make a calm retreat.

cough loudly in order to disguise the sound, and if it should come out with the slightest squeak, then i'll just say i have squeaky shoes, or give someone else a dirty look as if it were them!

One time at the store, I ran down a fertilizer aisle. It works.

I try to do it when/where no one's around, but if one slips out in a populated area, I move away as inconsipcously as possible.

lol its not healthy to hold those things in

Try and remove myself from company. If I can't then try to do nothing. If I can't do that then try to be silent. If it isn't silent, rely on the excellent manners of my companions. Unless it was really loud, in which case I would say "excuse me" and expect them to do just that. This isn't an issue for me - I can control my wind very well.

Let it out silently. I'm not prone to stinky farts, but when it is I say "I hope you're not downwind of me, and I'm sorry if you are." If I'm in a crowd, though, I get the hell outta there. If I accidently let an audible fart go, I say "damn, stepped on a frog" or "oops, a little blast from the past meal." I don't think one should ever be proud of a fart, but I don't think one should ever be all that embarrassed, either.

.more saecluded place one

sorry, but I have let one go that will go down in the anals of history which I am proud of

I imagine that I fart and go about my business.

Silent killers are the worst... you have to escape and let it all out.

find an isolated spot and then, let 'er rip

Hope for the best and blame it on someone else if discovered. I always find that straining my anal muscles makes them louder, squeakier.

Depends. If there's music on and a chance it would go unnoticed, I would let it go. If it was a deathly quiet room, I would go to the loo to do it.

I can understand. At least it's just the one, not every other one. I have also released one that went in the anals of history, but it's one of my most embarrassing moments.
I was in 7th grade history class, the teacher had just come to a pause, and I let one go so loud that a teacher from a nearby room came in to ask if anyone had set off a cherry bomb, which made everyone just laugh harder. I got stuck with the ultra-lame nickname "Pooter" for that, which actually stuck for a while. If happened today, I suppose I'd take a bow.

Silent and sneaky, baby.

Another gas survey oh my", and no! this has not ever happened to me? I can wait until I get to the ladies bathroom then let it loose in the stalls?? And then I can blame it on the next woman that comes along eeek

> lol its not healthy to hold those things in
And there are those times that you just have to hold it no matter what! like in the grocery store and people around you that know you? I can wait until I get to the ladies bathroom and then it comes out with a blast of a trumpet"

I will just point fingers at >>>You, she did it??

> Depends. If there's music on and a chance it would go unnoticed, I
> would let it go. If it was a deathly quiet room, I would go to the
> loo to do it.
even with the music, but what about the smell it would linger all around you

Nuh uh, wasn't me!

lol meh i say just let it out

> lol meh i say just let it out
Or NASA can strap you to the next Space Shuttle Flight and you become a Rocket blast you into outer space he" he" he"

Right after I had dinner at this restaurant, I headed for the ladies bathroom and I just let it go, I was so loaded with gas it had to come out.

sounds like fun

And who is the one on Survey Central that said women cannot fart?! I told you that we girls are very good at passing gas.

I ended up blowing up the bathroom one big "explosion"

A girl just has to have some fun at times

why just some times? i prefer it all the time

Well all the time is much better, if only I did not have such a busy life working and taking care of my home and running a recycle center, and computer work, I just cannot find enough time in the day, and some days I do get off work, and let the party begin!

good lordy, you need a fudging break!! Party......sweeeet

Your right I do need a break and right now! this summer and July and August are not to far away, I might go to a womens retreat again this summer, I went last summer and got together with other women, we did our bible study and arts and crafts and it feels like a vacation to me. And this next week is Kremmling Days and there is Music a Parade and Fireworks along with a barbecue and a Church Service in the park and all of these vendors, and it is nice to have money to spend it is like a flea market.

Hmmm, that took thinking about. Not a good question to be asking, but I like your answers. You learn well, grasshopper.

sounds like a well needed break

It will feel great!

congrats, im on summer break til September

I cannot wait for this next week, I will have fun!

You are very lucky and is this all paid for? I would not last without money

lol it doesnt need to be paid for, im just glad i aint got school anymore!!

You are free at last to party and enjoy life

hell yeh

Those were my good days when I was back in school

I graduated from High School in 1975

im sure ill be saying that when im older

wow, i graduated from high school on june 8th

In an ideal society, people would be able to have natural bodily functions without shame or embarrassment. What a warped society we live in.

It is like being freed from jail, get out of jail for free, school felt like a prison camp back in the 70,s

Wow June 8th

lol ill take ya word for it

It was back in May of 1975 for me and you graduated in June, times are changing or something

yup

I was a wild and crazy" woman" back in school and I just got myself into all kinds of trouble drinking alcohol wine and drugs, and doing bad things, and I was not acting like a lady. These were the hippy days for me yea you are cool" so hip and cool, I smoked pot back in the 70,s and I tripped out.

And now just about all schools these days have stepped up security because of those school shootings, and I remember we had the Campus Patrol walk around the halls and some of us got busted for smoking or drinking.

I was a wild and cool hippy chick, and I wore some wild looking clothes to school like those bell bottoms and I raised all kinds of hell" with the boys and I was a party animal

Does that include men having obvious erections whilst looking at 12 year old girls? It's a natural bodily function, so why shouldn't he flaunt it?

this seems a very foolish comment. Men have a predisposition to sexual dominance. As recently as WWII, women were taken as sex slaves (the Japanese "Joy Brigades") by invading armies (the Russian occupation of East Germany). If men did not control urges, rape would be frequent and commonplace.

Is farting the same as rape?...of course not, but the point is at some point, urges must give way to social decorum and acceptable behavior. Crapting in someone's face is not acceptable.

I'm not saying it should be flaunted, but a person shouldn't have to run away from everyone or force it quiet just because they have gas. It's normal, it's healthy, it has to happen, and everyone does it. Why should anyone be embarrassed by it?

We are supposed to control the urge to fart? That's impossible. I think it's sad that passing gas is seen as socially unacceptable. It's physically painful to hold it in.

physically painful...come on, that's just plain nonsense. It's socially unacceptable because no one wants to smell your crap. What's the controversy?

People can smell it even if you force it quiet. And yes it is physically painful sometimes.
The problem is that people are disgusted by it, when it's a natural thing that can't be helped.

I see you find an isolated spot. What do you do when it is inconvenient or impossible to get away? (In an elevator, on a bus, etc)

hold it, as do most people

> The problem is that people are disgusted by it, when it's a natural
> thing that can't be helped.

It's also a natural thing to be disgusted by it.

How long can you hold it before it gets uncomfortable? Sometimes it's impossible to hold it very long. Elevator rides aren't very long, I know. But there are some situations where you'd be holding it for a half an hour. That's gotta hurt.

But if everyone does it, and it must be done, why would someone look down on another person for doing it? That doesn't make sense to me.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that if a person can't get away, and can't hold it in, people should empathize rather than consider it inappropriate. Not everyone has the strength to hold it in very long.

Naturally, there are exceptions, but generally, crapting in someone's face is bad.

Interesting way of putting it. I'd say deliberately lettin er rip in front of people loudly to make more noise is bad, but trying to remain discreet about it and failing is usually beyond a person's control. I don't think farting quietly (or accidentally loudly) should be a reason to feel embarrassed or be ridiculed.

> But if everyone does it, and it must be done, why would someone look
> down on another person for doing it? That doesn't make sense to me.

If everyone looks down on it, why would you look down on someone for looking down on it? That doesn't make sense to me.

> But if everyone does it, and it must be done, why would someone look
> down on another person for doing it? That doesn't make sense to me.
It is because we are human beings, and even our pets pass gas

Because looking down on it is controllable and deliberate. Bodily functions such as passing gas are not controllable and deliberate.

Looking down on it is a natural thing to do. Yes, it's controllable, but so is farting. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to not fart in public. And yet miraculously I have not done so since I was a small child.

Looking down on it is a socially learned thing. We don't look down on burping as much as farting.
I am amazed that you can keep yourself from passing gas in public! Some people don't have that ability. Sometimes it hurts to hold it in.

Meme complexes hold for the same reasons that physical features are retained.

I don't exactly understand that.

Sorry, it doesn't make much sense does it!

I sort of meant that if you look at behaviours that are widespread, there's generally a very strong basis for them - otherwise why would they have been retained by most of society. People have looked at all kinds of man-made concepts from that viewpoint - religion for example must be beneficial or why would it be found in every culture and be so strongly held? Being disgusted by bodily functions must also be beneficial in the same way. Those ideas are known as memes and are the social/(learned) behavioural equivalent of genes which have developed through evolution.

That wasn't a great description of it, but I haven't studied memetics specifically.

hmmm good point. If i thought it was going to be smelly, I'd hold it in.

Why can't people stand back and take an objective view of social norms, and reject the ones that don't really make a whole lot of sense? Why do they vary from culture to culture? In some places it is considered a compliment to the chef to belch after eating.
I just tend to analyse norms myself than to blindly follow them.

I wouldn't say that I follow norms blindly (in fact on the whole I seem to go the opposite way - I don't drink for example) but I would find it offensive if someone burped in my face. Even if they cover their mouth and don't do it directly at me, the smell is very unpleasant. And the very fact that it is regarded as bad manners in our culture means that doing it *is* disrespectful to the other people there.

In your face? Yeah that's understandable. There are a lot of things I don't find offensive that a lot of people do. Grabbing things out of someone's hands before they can hand it to you or set it down is one of them. I don't care if someone snatches something from me if they were to have it in the end anyway. I never thought of that as a big deal. The same goes for pressing my arm to step me to the side instead of asking me to move. I guess I'm just laid back in a lot of ways.

I would find it rude if someone snatched something from me. I would take a plate from a waiter, but I say *take* specifically, not snatch. Snatching implies that you're impatient and the other person is being too slow. I wouldn't object to someone tapping me on the arm to motion me out of the way, but pushing is definitely out of order - and a stranger should never touch me in that way.

Well, I don't find mild force offensive or rude. I don't want to be knocked across a room, but a gently nudge is fine. I don't think implying that someone is being slow is a problem.

I think there are moe polite ways to hurry someone up than grabbing something out of their hands.

It doesn't matter if they are trying to hurry someone up or not. When I'm on the receiving end of these behaviors, I don't feel the least bit harmed or offended. I don't do these things to people (unless I know them well and know they won't care) but I wonder what feeling it gives people that makes them find it rude. Shock, surprise or what? Hypothetically, if it were a commonplace thing, there would be no shock about it, would there?

It doesn't matter if no-one is harmed by it. It's very rude to snatch. It's an unpleasant behaviour. It's a critical behaviour (and I thought you were all against that?)

How is it a critical behavior?

I'm not against hint-dropping. I'm against being judgmental when it comes to things that don't matter.

It says "you're doing that too slowly" or "you aren't doing that in a way that I approve of" or "you are inferior". I think it goes way beyond hint dropping - hint dropping might be tapping your fingers or raising an eyebrow. Snatching is something that I associate with middle aged middle-class American women...and toddlers. No-one else.

Oh, I see. I think it would also depend on the look you give them. If you snatch something and give them a dirty look, you've just said all those judgmental things. If you just snatch it, and act like nothing is amiss or wrong, then you've only said something about your own self "I am in a hurry"
What is wrong with telling someone they are going too slow, anyway?

I would find it less rude if you actually *told* them. "Excuse me, we're in a bit of a rush, is there any chance you could speed up a little?" That way you can say it politely and with a smile that says very clearly that you aren't finding fault with them. Maybe it's just that I'm British - people joke that we would say "Excuse me, I'm dreadfully sorry but you appear to be standing on my foot. Would you mind terribly moving a little?" The truth is, that is probably exactly what I would say if someone stood on my foot!

That's a funny joke, and there certainly isn't anything wrong with saying that. I've just been hardened to non-verbal efficiency kinds of behaviors. They aren't meant to be judgmental, just efficient. There's no need to say anything when you can just do something. It offends people because it says "you are going to slow" or "you are doing that wrong"? But if you use those words, you are saying the exact same thing. Is there really any difference between hearing those words and feeling them? I would think feeling them would have a harder, longer lasting impact. But if it offends... there goes the intended effect. That's probably why I think it shouldn't offend.

I don't think it matters whether a behaviour is supposed to be judgemental or not - if most reasonable people are going to believe that it is then doing it anyway isn't very nice.

So when it is meant to say something, these people are getting the hint it gives off, but are so offended that they don't take it seriously? So is there any way at all, that you can think of, to tell a person they should or shouldn't be doing something, or to hurry up, that sort of thing, where you don't directly say it with words, where it's not considered rude?
The reason I wonder is because usually words don't sink in or have a lasting effect. There's got to be something that does.

I can't imagine when words wouldn't have the right effect if they are used appropriately. Obviously, if it's the umpteenth time you've said something, getting a little snappy might be the best way to get something done, but why assume that the first time. I'm going to conjour up an example...my friends and I are sat in a restaurant - we were seated and have been there 5 minutes and no-one has even taken our drinks order. We would probably stop talking and start glancing around and try to catch the eye of the waiter. If a while later that hadn't produced any results, we might speak to one of them in passing "Excuse me, could we order some drinks please?" That demonstrates that we're polite (don't spit in our food) but we expect good service. So two of us are brought our drinks, but nothing comes for the third. The third would probably look questioningly at the waiter before he left. Usually, that would prompt him to remember he had another drink to bring. If not, a few minutes later, the third would say "Excuse me, I ordered a blah-de-blah". I don't think any of the non-verbal things I just described would be considered rude. However, other behaviours would be. I've seen people do things like say in a loud voice to their friends (so verbal, but not addressed to the waiter) "GOODNESS ME, AREN'T THEY SLOW IN HERE!" Clicking your fingers impatiently at a waiter would also be rude or waving them over to your table in a demanding way. Waiters are usually very good at coming over if you just catch their eye, especially if you smile. There's no point in jumping straight into the rude demanding behaviour if they're going to respond well to more polite behaviour.

I think it all depends on the situation. I think people should be nice to service workers.
In some situations I think it's mean to tell a person they are being slow or doing something the wrong way. I've always avoided telling people things like this so I *don't* hurt their feelings. Instead, dropping hints always seemed better. They get the idea that they are going slow (or whatever theyre doing) without someone having to tell them. They figure it out through a hint, even a forceful one. I've always preferred to be "told" that way. That's an example of the Golden Rule not quite working with me.

I would definitely be more offended by a forceful hint than a polite request. Maybe you should make a survey about this - it's a very you topic!

I could make a survey, but I know I'm in the extreme minority on this. My experience has been that "polite" requests tend to have a subtle self-righteous tone to them, whereas forceful hints seem to be someone just trying to get something done and I'm left to figure out for myself what I had done wrong. Direct criticism seems more pushy and in-your-face to me. Hints seem more 'take from that what you will' and I'm the one having to be self-critical, not someone else being critical. It sounds weird, but does it make sense?

I'm afraid not. You're coming to the opposite conclusions to me.

I'd rather be unsure if I was just judged or if someone was just in a hurry or wants something done right. Being unsure leaves it up to me to decide if I should change the way I'm doing things. There's no resentment because there was no direct request for me to do things different. I decide if it's important. With a direct request, if I don't agree, there's resentment on both sides. If I think I'm in the right, there's the possibility of disagreement and conflict. With hints, there's no disagreement. You can either assume the person was in a hurry, or decide not to take the hint. No conflict, no disagreement, no refusal to comply to a request.