If you were a bi-curious female and had a (female) gay friend who fancied you, do you think it would ruin the friendship if you were to become more than best friends?

*sings the "it depends" song*

Yep, I know! I think I should've done it as an essay, just to get info. from experience of...

The only thing that came to mind was the TV show, "Six Feet Under". There was a situation like this on the show. Two girls who became friends, one was a lesbian. They ended up trying to hook up, but the curious girl just wasn't into it. Then the lesbian got pissed off (felt lead on, rejected, etc.) and now they don't get along. But, that was fiction, so....

I loved watching "Six Feet Under"! Yes, I vaguely remember that storyline now. Although fiction, I think that could be quite a possible outcome.

I thnk if you launched into something because you were curious rather than wanting a real relationship whereas your friend was more invested and didn't realise that you were just playing around that it could get unpleasant...

If everything is very open and everyone is happy with it, then I don't see why it should wreck anything.

The aspects of the friendship would change, at least to a certain extent, but I don't think the friendship would be ruined. However, it would depend on the strength of the friendship beforehand in my opinion.

Naturally, sex almost always changes the nature of a relationship. Again, it seems as though you want to be single

"If everything is very open and everyone is happy with it, then I don't see why it should wreck anything."

That's a little naive, I think. Things change from discussing actions to experiencing them, especially with sex. I have had a couple of female friends who wanted to be "fudge buddies." Very quickly, both of them began acting like girlfriends. I am certainly aware that won't apply to all women, but why take the chance? DRD is married.

Note I said *should* not *would* and only if "everything is very open and everyone is happy with it".

Yes. Eventually it would.

what I am saying is that discussions about sex and plans prior to sex often become meaningless once people actually have sex. Knowing that, it isn't worth the risk

While I think that would certainly be true for me, I wouldn't want to assume it was true for everyone. There do seem to be some people who are able to compartmentalise these things. I don't know how well they're actually doing it, but on the surface at least they seem to be doing fine.

Other..............Only when and if you broke up, otherwise im sure it would be great

If the bi female was married she could get the husband involved.The friendship would change but there would be no secrets.Everyone is a winner...

Of course, everyone is different. All I am saying is tht if you are married, why take the risk?

Lot's of pretending going on here... okay... I'm bi-curious now am I? Well then I would click the friendship may change blah blah. Not being bi-curious I think it would ruin the friendship.

I think it depends on the two people and their personalities. The biggest risk is probably the gay friend wanting more out of the relationship and getting her feelings hurt if the bi-curious one just wanted to experiment.

Some people have open marriages. Besides, it's a hypothetical question - I've asked plenty of questions here that don't apply to my personal situation.

Who break up with who?

Can't answer this one!!! I'm not female, curious, or gay!!!

This doesn't apply to my personal situation either; I love my wife and wouldn't dream of having an affair, with permission or otherwise.

What I am trying to impart is that very often people discuss sexual relationships, like fudge-buddies or open relationships and everything seems fine until they actually have sex. The act itself often ruins the best made plans. "Buddies" start acting like girl(boy)friends; spouses who thought they were "open" minded get very jealous, etc.

Thus, my point regarding this survey is yes, there is a very good chance that sex will ruin a friendship, so if you love that person deeply, as your best friend, it's probably better not to risk it just out of curiousity.

I think we agree

well, that's good. I've tried to be more explicit this time around

i dont understand?.........if you became intimate and then decided to break up..i feel the friendship would be ruined

Hardly my area of expertise...

I don't know why exactly, but it just occurred to me that I find the word "bi-curious" kind of annoying..."bi-racial" too...

i dont think it would ruin the friendship but there is never a yes or no right answer to this, different friendships/relationships/situations are different

Ok, I understand, I thought you meant if someone was already in a different relationship they should break up first. Yes, I agree that could be difficult.

if ya curious, who better to experiment on than a friend?!

I've never heard the term bi-racial, what's that mean?

So what would you call someone who has been straight all their lives but gets slightly turned on by the same sex, but has never been intimate with someone of the same sex (yet)?

"bi-racial" is a term I've heard used to describe children whose parents come from different cultural backgrounds. I suspect it is supposed to have something to do with race, but it isn't always used that way...

As to your second question, I avoid getting into conversations that would require my having to do that.

OK, so if you can't think of a better word, and you don't even like discussing it, why say you "find the word bi-sexual kind of annoying" in the first place?

I didn't say that.

It'll change, that's for sure. It could get ugly if the lezzie actually fell in love with me, since I'm merely bi-curious, but if all we want to do is munch on some carpet, it won't likely affect anything all that much.

Quote: Zang said; "I don't know why exactly, but it just occurred to me that I find the word "bi-curious" kind of annoying..." - Why do you find it annoying?

Quote; "I avoid getting into conversations that would require my having to do that." - Having to do what?

See above

Yes, and if you look carefully you'll see that I didn't say that!

That was my point!

Yes.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

The friendship would be ruined. It couldn't go back to what it was & it will change into something different than a friendship.

I'd definitely have to fancy them back. I dunno, I've never been bicurious.