Mothers and Fathers - Please share your experience of the birth of your child(ren).

I never had a man worthy of being a father, so I made damn sure I didn't become a mother! I muchly prefer Poopies and Craptens. I call them Poopies and Craptens, because that's what they do.

my child was a home birth baby...by CHOICE.
it went smoothly and quickly, and was a crazy day all the way around. in short, it was just good

Not a parent yet, but just a month to go.......

It hurt. I was induced due to pre-eclampsia. The drugs were very helpful (epidural and Nubain). I'm glad I don't feel like I need to do it again. I never understood what the phrase "I had an overwhelming urge to push" meant before it happened to me.

I have no children.

3:30 am - woken up, "My water broke"
6:00 am - get to hospital
9:45 am - doctor says umbilical cord possibly interfering with baby breathing
10:00 am - doctor says c-section required
10:20 am - holding wife's hand while they cut her open
10:32 am - April, 4, 1979, baby girl born
1:00 pm - baby randomly stops breathing, turning blue
1:15 pm - baby put in intensive care
Next 7 days baby tested, monitored to make sure no problems
April 12 - baby comes home, everything fine

Next week my 'baby' will be 26. She has a 4 year old son.

While I have a son (he's now 24 years old), I prefer not to share my birth experiences. I had that done to me...other women telling me their labor/giving birth "horror" stories until I was scared no end! I had some unpleasant experiences during labor....nuff said!

A major life changing event I'm sure.

But I'm not a parent. Nor do I think I ever will be - and I'm quite pleased about that.

Kid 1: They kept knocking me out with meds because I was too tired. Labor was almost a day long. No meds during delivery.
Kid 2: I made a lot of noise, had no meds at all during labor or delivery.
Kid 3: Took too long from the time my water broke, had to speed it up with meds, which I knew would make delivery more painful than normal, so I opted for meds during delivery.

Okay. Since you asked.....

After going through labor for 4 hours and dialating the full 10cms, the doctor comes in and finds that the baby is breach. (There were 2 emergencies and the nurses forgot to tell the doctor I was even there.) They rush me to the OR. On the way up, on the elevator, the baby's feet are coming out, so the doctor is literally holding him in. The end up doing a spinal and cutting me up and down as this was the fastest way to get him out. At 7:56am on June 23, 1999, which is 6 weeks before my due date, Caleb Michael is born. I remember holding my breath until I heard the most beautiful sound in the world.......his first cry. So, I'm all alone in the recovery room, while all my family and friends are seeing my baby. (Those bastards! )

Awww....poor dear! I had a pretty bad experience, as well, but left out all the details. I remember those days, as well. Everyone wants to tell you what it's like and scares you half to death. But, you know, even though I had a bad experience, it was still the best day of my life.

Yes it was a wonderful day for me as well because I had a healthy baby in the end, but at the same time I don't want to frighten a mother-to-be with my experiences. I don't want to be one of those women who do this. I hated when they did it to me and I'm not about to do it to anyone else!

I am NOT a parent, but I might be one day. I do have interesting experiences to share (well, after some good amount of time passes on certain things), just none that have anything to do with kids.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. However, I do think it's good to hear other birth stories (if you want to), so that you can be prepared. What I always hated was complete strangers coming up to me and wanting to tell me about their labor and delivery experiences. I don't understand what makes people do that. I mean, I didn't know these people. Why the hell did they think I wanted to hear their stories. I also hated when people I did know felt like they had to share every detail (large and small), when I hadn't even brought the subject up.

Did you have much trouble with strangers wanting to touch your stomach just because you were pregnant? I've heard that that's very common, and terribly infuriating for many. Makes me shudder just to think of it!

What about complete strangers coming up and touching you on your pregnant belly? That totally pissed me off! I don't want someone coming up to me and rubbing my belly as though I was a Buddha statue and they were wanting good luck! That bothered me more than the "horror" stories.

Read my reply to Amanda about this. I hated it!

Funny you should mention that, as They and I were just talking about this a few weeks ago.

Yeah, I so hated that. I always felt like these people were violating my space. I think you know that I have anxiety and this certainly didn't help it. I'm usually a pretty easy going person and don't show my temper, but when this would happen I would get so pissed. There were several times when I lost it. These people probably thought "what a dog" but I didn't care. I just couldn't handle this people touching me.

What about people touching your baby? (They and I were talking about that, too.) I hated people thinking they could just come up and touch my baby. I didn't know who this people were or where their hands had been. Oh, God, those were the days!

You and Kate brought up the same thing! Read my reply to her.

I am a Father........... I was 21, mum was 17........ I was present at the birth, I did not pass out but he was 9lbs at birth and the thing no one told me was HOW BIG the forceps were !!!! .... for those who do not know they are like 4ft stainless steel salad bowl tongs!!!! .....

I'm pretty easy going myself, but I agree that it's certainly a violation of my personal space for a complete stranger to walk up to me and begin touching my belly! It's not public property ya know! As to touching my baby, it happened only once as I still drove back then so my son was in his car seat and not riding on public transportation. I gave the person who touched my son the rough side of my tongue. I'm certain they thought I was some kind of dog, but I think these people, both those who touch pregnant womens' bellies and those who touch babies without permission should try putting themselves in our shoes and think before they touch!

That would make a good t-shirt for a pregnant woman, "Think before you touch."

When Caleb was a baby, it seemed everywhere we went someone felt the need to touch him. While shopping, in restaurants, even in line at the post office. I truly hated this.

Maybe I didn't have such a problem because I didn't go very many places when my son was a baby. I took care of my grandmother who, for the most part, was bedridden as well as my son. I didn't have a lot of free time and when I went shopping for groceries and such, I generally had my dad come over and watch the baby so I wouldn't have to fuss with the groceries and the car seat.

Sounds like you really had your hands full!

I don't have any kids, but I was outside my sister's room when she had my oldest niece.

Great minds, as they say, right?

"the rough side of my tongue"...I love that phrase!

That does sound horrible! I'm a bit on the high-strung side, I don't think I would handle something like that too well. Hands off me and my baby if we don't know you, please!

The t-shirt idea is great. I'm sure there's a market for it!

You know, even people that I do know got on my nerves about rubbing my belly and wanting to touch and/or hold Caleb. People came out of the woodwork when Caleb and I were still in the hospital. It drove me crazy. I'm sure people talked about me like a dog, after I started kicking people out of my room.

Hopefully those who were parents were a little more understanding at least! I don't imagine that the interference ever ends, either. (Funny coming from me after the great smoking debate, eh? )

Nope, everyone always thinks they know better than you do. I listen to what other people have to say and value their opinions, but have learned to do what I feel is best. Since I was so young when I had Caleb, people felt the end to tell me how to do everything. I learned fast that, as a mother, you do the best you can and, in the end, things work out okay. Yeah, I've made mistakes, like any parent. You just have to learn from them and move on.

Okay...I'm babbling as usual. I'll shut up now!

Yes I did. My grandmother frequently needed more care and attention than my son did.

It was a common phrase in my household.

I can totally understand that. As you know, I'm going through that now with my grandma. I couldn't imagine having had to do this when Caleb was a baby. I'm pulling my hair out now, but certainly would have been bald then.

Speaking of my grandma, I had a long talk with my dad and step-mom this afternoon about everything. I let them know that I can no longer go on being her main caregiver. They both said they understand that and told me they were sorry for handing the burden to me. (Gosh, that sounds horrible, BURDEN, but you know what I mean.) Anyhow, they're both going to help out more and we're going to look into getting someone to stay with her during the day. That's my good news for the day.

I wish I had a family that had been more understanding. Except for the rare occasions of babysitting, I got no help from my dad even though this was his mother and my sister was absolutely no help. While my grandmother didn't have the same medical problems your grandma does, she was still a handful to take care of and some nights I didn't get any sleep because I was up and down taking care of my grandma and my son. I longed for respite care, but we couldn't afford to hire anyone and at the time, there were no low cost home health agencies where I lived (this was back in the early 1980's).

That really sucks. It's hard to care to take care of someone that has taken care of you. That change of roles has been so difficult for me to accept.

I know what you mean. It would have been helpful if I would have had more family support. Sometimes I felt like screaming in frustration, but that would have frightened my son, not to mention my grandmother. At times I felt as though I had the weight of the world on my shoulders!

Oh wow, I didn't even think to factor in that you were on the younger side when Caleb was born. I bet that made people feel like they had room to say a lot more to you than they usually would have. Yuck.

I always forget that we're so close in age!

Also, I got your email-lookout for one from me tomorrow! My bed is calling me.

I hope you don't mind if I borrow it from time to time!

Yeah, I was pretty young when I had him. He was born 2 months after I turned 17. It was hard, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. He's an awesome little guy.

I found some better pictures of me. Yea! I'll have to email you a couple of them...much better than the other ones were.

May 8, 2003. Turned out to be a very long day. Mireille's labour pains started at about 04h00 and at 20h28 Laura was born. She gave birth at home.

During the day I felt pretty much useless and helpless. Mireille was in a lot of pain and there was not much I could do. (In The Netherlands it's common not to give a woman in labour painkillers).

The moment Laura was born I will never forget. It was very special and amazing and unbelievable. She was such a tiny human being... only 47 cm and 2820 grams. She still is the best thing that ever happened in my life and I love her so much!!

Laura, a few minutes old. Oh, and 1 proud daddy. Can you tell?
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Be my guest. Thankfully those days are long over (I hope) as my grandmother passed away in 1981. I loved my grandmother, but that was one of the most stressful periods I have ever experienced and it's certainly not something that I would ever want to go through again, especially now. My father is also dead and my sister lives quite a distance from me (Salem), so I would be left even more alone and unaided.

I am not a parent. My mum was talking about the lady with the scissors the other day though - made me wince.

I was there when my girlfriend's first grandson (fourth grandchild) was born. I wasn't in the room at the time, but I was in the house (he was born at home). I guess that would make him the youngest person I ever met. I saw him for the first time when he was about an hour old. He was born on January 2nd, 2005 at about 12:40 AM. Just missed being a New Years baby by minutes! I was really nervous just being there. My family has a lot more taboos around childbirth. I was actually kind of shocked that I was even invited to be there. I was afraid of getting in the way or something. It was kind of weird.

1881? Never realized you were that old!

I just 16 and I have a 10 month old baby girl she will be one on June 13. I went through a lot of pain and I hope in the near future I wont have to go through it again.

I must comment on your darling little child. you must be very happy. i hope more children are coming your way as you look like you are a wonderful father. as Dr. laura says: Being a father is being a man!

Silly...it was a typo. It should have been 1981. Not even my grandmother was born in 1881. She wasn't born until 1905.

Thanks!

My maternal grandmother was born in 1896 by the way. She died in 1991 when I was on holiday in the US.

My maternal grandmother passed away roughly 2 weeks from her 100th birthday back in 1995.

I have never had the chance to become a mother just yet? But I have a friend who gave birth to a baby boy and she is now a mother. Delivering a baby these days is much different than say, back in the 50's or even the 60's they have come along ways since then in saving lives both mother and baby. I probably would have to have a C-Section because of my pelvis and I need plastic surgery on my vagina some day

Birth of 1st-it was a circus. all ils in and out of labor room stressing me out... docs ignoring me. too many meds because I have scoliosis and the epidural went in wrong... complications ...almost had a csection.. Birth of 2nd--was ready before the doc got there. She was quick. Doc knew I had scoliosis and put it in right. Birth of 3rd-had no epidural, no pain meds, butthey gave me that crap that makes you deliver faster and it made it that much more painful. They gave me something to ease the pain of that at first but cut the pain meds after I was so far along ready to deliver. The stuff they gave me made me hallucinate. Every thing on tv was blue and red, and I saw yellow shapes in the wall, one was JJ the Jet plane. lol

I am a step parent who obviously did not give birth

I am not a parent and I've never been to a birth.

I'm a parent but don't remember all the details. I do remember it was a good day. I was at work and speeded to the hospital after the call then had to wait for 3 or 4 hours for anything to happen. It was interesting being in the dlivery room and wish I had a video but they weren't doing that 22 years ago.

The birthing of my four children is something I'd never trade for anything in the world....although I think I could pass on the pain..LOL With my second child, I birthed her completely natural...no pain killers...

Maarten, You have a beautiful daughter!

You are a caring father...remembering with great detail...I'm impressed.

I don't have any kids.

HELL TO BE SHORT AND SWEET 12 HRS OF PURE TEE HELL