Has a sexual partner of yours engaged in sex with a third party without your knowledge?

I had a partner who did this several times. Each time, when he came home, he explicitly told me that nothing had happened with whoever it was. He finally confessed when I broke up with him. Bleh. At least he always insisted on wearing condoms.

Has not happened to me, but I know people to whom it has happened.

One partner of mine ended up leaving me for the person he slept with on the side. Also, with some partners I did not personally know the 'previous people involved'. My partner would explain his history to me over an evening, naming names, but I don't know who those people slept with before they slept with my partner. I think very few people sleep only with virgins in today's society, I figure this is just a standard risk people take.

if i am reading this correctly, then yes it has happened to me during a relationship and previous to a relationship when i wasn't told.
i think the wording of this survey is a little strange but maybe it is just me tonight.

What kind of a moron question is this?? "Without your knowing"...hello!!

i found out my previous long term girl had engaged in such activity....grrrrr....hurts ya....even ex post facto...ya know...(all the grammar gods...did i used in the right context?)

anonymous...i think it meant..."knowing at the time"...ya know..finding out after the relationship....

If it is without my knowledge I guess that I would not know about it.

I really doubt that most people know all of their partner's sexual history.

If it was without my knowledge, then how could I know about it to respond to this question. I guess you mean" without your knowledge at the time".

Ex before last had an affair with his maid. He was into some, um, stuff, that I wasn't sexually, and he found her to be more, um, accommodating. She was also insane and caused quite a few problems when he broke it off with her.

Sorry about the wording, I did try a series of different combinations and the more explicit I tried to be, the more confusing the sentences became. That's part of why I had Bill add the "You only found out about the other person after having slept with your partner at least once." - to make it clearer. I guess it still wasn't clear enough.

The question was: To your knowledge, was there any act of intercourse you performed with a person that, at that point in time, you did not have exact knowledge of every other person your partner had slept with up to that point. You only realized/were informed of your lack of knowledge after the 'act'.

magbast: That works.

elijahblue: Damn! I'm really curious now.

If it is without your knowledge then how could you know?

steve: he was into some pretty heavy S&M type of stuff. I wouldn't go beyond the "playfully tying him up" stage. She has MPD and had a dungeon in her attic. There were all kinds of childhood issues running around on both sides which apparently they set off in each other. He basically went insane right along with her for a few weeks, jeopardizing his job in the process. He showed up on my doorstep (and, I might add, my PARENTS' doorstep) in the middle of the night after he first slept with her so he could *show me his bruises*.

Hope your curiosity is satisfied.

My curiosity lies in the direction of wondering how I can meet some decent men

This is like asking if I talk in my sleep. How the fudge should -I- know?

Elijahblue: Thank you; my curiosity is infinitely more satisfied than I expected it to be, since you would have been well within your rights to say "If I'd wanted to tell you, I would have."

As for the decent men, I have a very, very dear friend who dated a wide variety of men, ranging from the "fine people with one tragic but insurmountable flaw" through the "okay but utterly, irremediably unsuitable" and all the way out to the "gosh darn! How does she put up with that butt-hole?!" types. A few months shy of her 29th birthday, she finally met a really great guy--she loves him, her friends love him, her parents love him, and he treats her really, really well--and they're starting to plan their wedding. She'll be 31 when she marries for the first (and, we all hope, last) time. So, I guess what I'm trying to say here is "Buck up, little camper!" They're out there.

steve- I know you're giving advice to elijahblue, but thanks anyway. Thats nice to know. :)

yes...it hurt.....not so much that he slept with someone...but that he was sneaky about it...and I found out years
later....I would have rather he had come to me and said...."I want to do this....but I don't want to do it behind your
back"...I would have told him ok....go for

it....

Thanks, steve.

I never thought to find out. This seems to be a question about a breach of trust, and I can think of a variety of sexual relationships where sex with a third party without the first party's knowledge simply wouldn't be.