Do you know people who seem inclined to help you least when you need it most?

I have noticed this once or twice.

No one jumps in to help when I don't really need it, and I never ask anyone for any help when I really do need it...so no one ever knows when I am overwhelmed and need help.

This sounded like a you survey!

This seems to happen, but it might be my state of mind perceiving it at the time. I think during such times, I am under high stress and I just think people are avoiding me. I may be expecting them to read my mind and know what it is that I need from them.

Yes, this happens to me often.

Yes, but I try not to make a big deal out of it. Some people just can't deal with conflict/crises.

this has happened to me before at the salon i used to work at. it was especially annoying when the people that would do it would also be the ones asking me for help all the time.

I think it is easy when you are stressed to feel abandoned when others may not even know you have too much to do.

Not that I've noticed.

I probably avoid being helped in general, even when I need it.

yes, at work, there are those who will help when things are going ok but busy and then some of those can't be found when the ship is sinking.............. but i have to say there are also those who are there through it all!!!!!

I know. Sometimes we expect people, especially those closest to us to immediately understand our unvoiced needs and that doesn't always happen. As a result (or the outcome of many arguments) I have learned to tell people what I need from them in a nice way. Like saying, "Can you give me a hug? I could really use one right now."

This happens to me, but it's always the same person

I know this one guy that tends to do this. He came by one day when I was adding on to my house and didn't offer to help at all, then a couple days later he came by again and asked if I needed any help. That was when I had finishd and was picking up my tools. Damn butt-hole and I told him so.

I haven't really noticed it, but I'm sure it's possible that some people do. A bit like having fair weather friends....

I think sometimes it's obvious when you need help, like when there's too much to do at once, you have your hands full, etc and people choose to ignore it until you say something.

That happens as well.

I was thinking more in terms of someone with a lot do in terms of tasks that need to be completed (i.e. lesson plans, dishes, laundry, ironing, cooking, sweeping, grocery shopping, pharmacy, phone calls to make, etc) and that person has all these things in mind that need to be done and they don't share that but get angry when their minds can't be read and the other person does nothing to help them.

If someone is in the same house and they are not busy, it shouldn't take mind reading for them to get up and help you. They should be aware enough of what's going on around them to realize there's a lot to do and only one person doing it.

This happens all the time with different people. I don't know why--I guess I might *look* stupid or something.

hell is other people

Maybe I should adopt the attitude that I don't really NEED people to help me, since they never do anyway. I might feel better about the situation.

They might do but I never really notice.

I seem to vanish on people, but I really don't mean to.