If a 5 to 10 year old kid came over to play with your kid (the same age) outside every day for hours, would you think that was too much?

No, I'd be happy they were outside getting some physical activity instead of inside playing video games or watching TV.

I'm not sure, but I would have to wonder about how harmonious the child's own home-life is, if other signs pointed towards he or she being unhappy. Delicate situation.

No. And I'd prefer them to play outdoors most of the time rather than watching TV or playing video games.

It's interesting people mention TV and video games. There's more to do indoors besides watch TV and play video games.

If I had a kid, I think nap time.

That's what I think! When I see these neighbor kids playing outside for 6 hours at a time, I wonder why they don't want to be inside with their families.

I'm not sure. It really depends on what you mean by "hours". That could be 2 hours or 5 hours.

A 5-10 year old outside playing for 6 hours?!?!?! Are these kids' parent(s) checking on them?

I don't know. One of them used to come over and bug us for hours and hours when she was 8, and I never saw her parents anywhere all day. I don't even think they knew.

Oh... and I didn't mention, there was a 3 year old out there all day, in the care of his 8 year old sister.

When I was that age I played outside a lot when the weather was nice, and often with the same friend(s). I don't know why that would be a problem unless they were neglecting something else that needed to be done. Better outside getting exercise and fresh air than sitting in front of the TV all that time.

In that age range.. yes. My daughter is not yet in school and she plays outside for hours and hours with her little friend that lives next door to my mom's house.. The cool thing is that I grew up next door to that little girl's mommy.. We played together from the time we could walk. I'm fine with them spending all of that time together. I'm grateful for the little break that gives me and for the friendship and experience that it gives Mary.

If Mary were in school, I'd have a few reasons to not approve. The first thing would be that since we don't see her as much since she's gone all day.. we would want to be with her during that time.. she also would not have time for homework with that kind of schedule. Maybe 3 days a week or so..

I can beat that.. the little girl in my mom's neighborhood is turning 4 in a month or so.. she was taking care of her 1.5 year old little sister yesterday. The baby is beautiful but her eyes are spaced very far apart and she doesn't speak.. or make any noise or facial expressions at all. This is a child that was born to my childhood pal.. We don't speak.. From what I understand, she's on Crystal Meth or something similar.. and her mom raises the kids mostly. I've seen her family drop the 4 year old off in front of the house on the street and not even run into the house to let someone inside know she was out there playing.

When Mallory was little, a neighbor girl her age used to come over WAY too often and knock on our door wanting to play with her. Whenever we asked her about her mom she'd say she was asleep. The mom apparently didn't even know where the kid was a lot of the time. I was glad when they moved away. We felt sorry for the girl, but didn't feel like it was our responsibility to take care of her.

I agree with you about school aged kids. I like having my daughter around. Since I don't see her during the school day, I want to be with her after school. I don't mind her spending a little time with friends on the weekend, but I think young kids should spend more time with family than with friends.

That seems to me to be a natural way kids behave. Absent any other facts about a particular situation, I can't imagine what is wrong with it.

That's exactly why I'm not real concerned about my daughter playing with this child. I know that my childhood friend's parents are selling their house within a year. Mary won't have any more contact with the girl after that. She is a very sweet little girl, but with her parents the way they are.. she's destined for something bad. I would not want mary to be exposed to this little girl's parents lifestyle.. so playing outside is the rule.. no going into her house.

We keep a very close eye on mary.. we look out at her every few minutes and we make sure she is within view. The kids in that family run wild for 8-10 hours straight with no supervision. Since this little friend is so used to doing things without being watched, she is very consious of us.. always watching us out of the corner of her eye. If I walk outside to talk to the girls, she starts immediately making excuses.. because the only time anyway pays attention to her, it's to chastize.

I grew up playing on the weekends for the most part and it worked out just fine!

The kid that used to come over every day to play with Lexie would chase her on a bicycle, (ran her over once) dump water over her head, threw mud at her, snuck into our house and took things outside, stand in her way when she was trying to come in, and all sorts of other stuff. I'd rather have Lexie inside watching TV than to have to put up with that crap.

Oh my! A 3 year old in the care of an 8 year old? That's way too much. My 4 1/2 year old plays outside with my 10 and 6 year old nieces, but they stay in the yard. I'll let Caleb play in the backyard, which is fenced in, by himself, but I keep a close eye on him. He wants to have freedom, so I keep an eye on him from the window. (He never knows I'm watching. ) But allowing a child that young to roam freely is not a wise choice. Anything could happen. They could get hurt or even kidnapped and you'd have no idea what was going on. Bad parents!!!!

She was out there taking him for walks last year too, when he was only 2. I think her parents give her way too much responsibility for her age. She doesn't seem to live like a kid. She's really sweet, though. Much more pleasant than the other neighbor kid.

I'd feel the same way.. for some reason, these kids around my mom's house don't pick on one another at all.. some of them seem bratty but they all seem to stick together. I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that they have to depend on one another so much.

It's called childhood. We used to be allowed to have them before everyone got so fearful and uptight. What it probably means is my child is well liked and is outside "doing" something rather than just sitting around like a lump!
Go out and play with them. You might learn something

That's so sad. It makes me wish it was more difficult to have children. If all children were wanted and planned there would surely be fewer who were neglected.

Every day, though? And for hours and hours? I think it's good for young kids to be taking influence from their parents, not friends. I go outside and play with her a lot.

When I typed my answer to this survey I was not aware this was an actual situation happening to you. I played outside for hours and hours when I was little. It was wonderful and free and happy. I gave no thought to my family inside....I saw them enough and playing was....well FUN!!!!!!!!!! Just because a child is outside playing a lot doesn't mean they are being neglected or avoiding something indoors. Why do we as a society think we see abuse and neglect in what used to be just normal everyday stuff? Look to the news media and their overdramatizing every case of abuse because it sells news and we tune in with wide eyes sure that everything we see is the truth and that the world must be going to hell...etc.......fear and consumption.
It's a crying shame

I wouldn't call it abuse or neglect when I see kids playing outside for hours. I have a hard time imagining parents not wanting to spend as much time with their kids as I want to spend with mine. I mean, with school, her homework, my housework, and taking care of other things, there's hardly enough time to spend with her as it is. And I wonder about the kid 2 doors down when she starts coming around and calling every day.
I also happen to think (and I believe I am in the extreme minority) that kids have way too much free idle time. Don't get me wrong, though. I think kids should have some idle time, just not hours and hours all day, every single day off. Socializing is a good thing, but so is learning how to entertain yourself, without TV and without friends. Kids don't have enough quiet time to just think. That's a shame too.

That's so sad to me. I think that kids should be able to be kids. They'll have responsibilities in life soon enough. Sure, give them a few chores to do, but nothing major or too time consuming. Kids aren't free baby-sitters or maids and a lot of parents don't realize that.

I have a cousin who 2 daughters, who are 8 and 10. One day, I was talking to her on yahoo messenger. For some reason, we got on the subject of dishwashers. I was saying how I hated them and preferred to wash my dishes by hand. She said something like, "I've got 2 dishwashers....named Heather and Ashley." That really bothered me. It's fine for kids to wash dishes, but for a parent to make a comment like that really bugs me. I've heard many parents make similar comments. What's wrong with people?

I know I'm not a perfect parent. I don't think anyone is. But I really think that some people are just far too ignorant or uncaring to be parents.

No...b/c that kid used to be me. My neighbor across the street and I would always go ride bikes, swim, throw ball, climb trees, etc. Be happy that the kids are playing outside now. That's a rarity in the modern day

No, I'd be glad that they had a close friend. Better than sitting infront of the TV all day doing nothing. And better they played where I could keep an eye on them at that age.

No, not as long as they were outside and not running in and out of the house, and they had any school work done.

No; my best friend and I played for hours together at that age. I don't know if it was every day, but it was certainly as often as possible.

No I don't think it is too much. If they enjoy being with each other, that is good. At least the kids has something to do.

Not if they were getting along and having fun.

Not at all. Kids love to play and as long as they are outside and staying out of trouble, what's the harm?

But, if his homelife is miserable and he is over playing with your child every day, then that would mean that he finds some comfort in this activity. This may just be what keeps him going from one day to the niext.

I totally see that, which is why that situation would be a difficult one to deal with. I also don't think that there has to be something wrong at home for a child to want to be out playing; that would be crazy.
It's mainly that I can still remember situations like this from my own childhood, and even then, with some people, my heart felt so heavy for them and it was easy to see that they didn't want to be at home.

Yes, I'd question the parent’s ability to care for their child. When our kids were 5-7, they were not allowed past the corner so we could look out the window and see them at all times. We lived on a dead end street and my neighbour's yard was in front of my house so the kids all gathered there. One day, this 5 year old stranger appeared and would stay all day. I asked her to tell her mother where she was and that I'd like to meet her to exchange telephone numbers in case she's looking for her. The kid bluntly told me that her grandmother cared for her because her Mom was schizophrenic... OK. So the grandmother shows up the next day, we exchanged numbers but she didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that the child would leave all day long. On day, the grandmother called in a drunken rage looking for the girl - it was 6:30 PM. She had called the cops when the kid showed up and blamed my daughter for holding her up. The truth was that my children were being cared for by my neighbour and she told the little girl to go home as it was suppertime, the kid insisted on staying until my daughter could come back out and finish the story she was telling her.
A few years later, a rumor was going around that my daughter had sequestered the young girl and the cops had to be called in to help release her... Gawd! Some people are so stupid!! The worst part of it, it wasn't even the kids that were spreading the rumor but the very ignorant mother of another clan! Fudging Hillbillies!

The more the better... maybe it's time to have a sleep over too.

We also had Jehovah Witnesses that lived for a time in front of our house and it seemed the the kids were often unattended. They were way too young to be outside alone like that - one of her kids kept destroying the potted flowers on my front steps! It turned out that the mother had a sleeping disorder and would just drop anywhere and fall asleep. Scary stuff!

No. Not at all. I would be more concerned if my (hypothetical) child didn't have any friends. At least from my perspective, as someone who had a childhood very much like that, it sounds pretty normal. I would say that from the age of about four, until I was at least twenty-three, that would pretty much describe what my life was like. And even since then, although not necessarily every day.

It depends on a lot of situations. It would pay to know the background of the other kid's family, for one thing--as well as get to know them really well. Plus if my kid was closer to 10 (school age), it would depend on how much homework and chores he/she has to do for that day.

No. I would think they're friends.

I have two kids but an extra one everyday is too many.

No, from the age of 8 my best friend played outside my house pretty much every day and I hers. However we lived down the road from each other and our parents knew exactly where we were.

sometimes a family needs some time together and mostly the kids wiill get agrrivated or mad with each other if they are together often

i totally agree with you...we're far beyond the point of having large families to "help tend to the chores around the farm" and whatnot. it's wonderful to give children some responsibilities and to encourage them to think creatively on their own, but too much idle time??? between the ages of 5 and 10 we're talking about? kids grow up way to fast in today's world, anyway...i say let them play.

ack!

By "too much idle time" I mean whole summers where the kid does nothing but play outside or watch tv all day, every day. No trips to the zoo, no stories being read to the kid, no regular eating schedule, no bedtime. They are pretty much left to their own devices all summer, and become dependent on each other or the tv for entertainment. They don't know how to entertain themselves productively. These are the kids that will end up getting bored and destroying things.

Exactly!

Depends on the kid and their home situation. I went over to play at my friend Nicki's house after school every day for years because she had a stay-at-home mom and I was a latch key kid. I doubt anything formal was ever discussed among the parents, but it worked really well and since we were in junior high we weren't any extra work - we didn't need rides anywhere and mostly just played in the house or the back yard.

I dunno.

depends if it is school season or summer. Just depends on the kids and their parents. Are they using you as a babysitter? When I lived in apts. they sure did this to me. They knew I was no longer partying and drinking so they took it for granted that I would be home anyway. I finally put a stop to it. and then we moved into our own house so that fixed that for good.

I'd think it was adorable. Unless it was the opposite sex. Then I'd have to limit it to once a week.

The sex of the kid shouldn't matter. What should matter the most is how the kid treats your kid. If the kid was mean to your kid, it wouldn't be adorable.

That is extremely weird of you. Little girls experiment with little girls and vice versa.. trust me.

I'm not certain as it would depend on how long you mean by "hours".

i can understand that, but i still think kids can learn creative thought by just playing with each other. but, yeah, i know from my own kids that schedules are important.

I agree that they learn creative thought by playing with each other. Playing alone is good for creative thought too, but in a different kind of way. It's more fanciful and individualistic, unbound by outside criticism and input.

totally...it's fascinating to watch/listen to a child playing by themselves when they don't know you're there. it's like you can see the little wheels turning in their head

I to see the wheels turning in childrens' heads. It is so cool to hear what comes out of their mouths as they start to synthesize new understandings of things.

no i think its good for kids to play and get along, thats whats so good and fun about being a kid is playing with your friends

No.
I used to play outside for hours all the time with my friends when I was that age.

Don't you think that you could make a happy medium for her by allowing her to play outside for hours on a few days and spend the other days with you guys?
Sounds like you might end up sheltering her too much and keep her isolated from people her age if you don't allow her to spend a lot of time with friends.
People her own age will be very important to her when she's in her childhood.

BTW: I'm not trying to be rude or anything, just offering some advice.

I'm not sure if I'm confused or you are.. Maybe I worded something wrong.

As it is now, since Mary isn't in school yet, we drive to my parent's house about 4 days a week to allow her to play with the children in the neighborhood from around noon until dark.. she comes in for lunch and dinner.. but that's all the time she spends indoors with us.

She's definitely not isolated.. she played indoor Kiddie Kickers (Soccer) over winter, and has many friends her age.. They ride bikes, play in the sandbox, swing, dig in the dirt, pick up bugs, sidewalk chalk, draw, play in the playhouse, and play pretend ANYTHING... all the time I also have a friend with kids her age and they come to play occasionally.

This is such an exciting time for her.. it's so funny to watch her sit next to another little 4 year old girl and have an actual conversation.. The things those girls talk about!

Of course, when she starts school.. this will happen less often. She will be in school for part of the time, she'll have homework to do, and since we'll be seeing her less.. she'll be home with us some.. It will cut into her playtime.. but she'll still have weekends, summers, and some evenings after homework just like the rest of us did..

That's much better. I understand you now.

Yes - your kid and that kid should be in school some of the time!

Depends on if they were playing hard all of the time or if they'd do quiet simple stuff some days.