If your friend moves away and you stay right where you are - who bears the responsibility of maintaining the relationship?

The responsibility is shared.

You're both responsible. With modern technology (ie - email, chat progs) it really should be much effort at all on either part.

Oh grow up. Friendship is not a power struggle.

Other: If it's me and my friend moves away, we wouldn't maintain the relationship.

Nothing changes.... Both are responsible for keeping in touch...

We both do. Most of my friends know that I'm pretty lame about calling, e-mailing and/or writing, but we still stay friends. I think they all know not to take it personally, and the quality of our friendships tends to be maintained. We try to visit, and at least talk on birthdays if not more often.
One of my closest friends is going to be moving to Florida next summer, and that will probably be the one exception. She's going to be calling me a lot. She's not psyched about the move, and she tends to be the one who calls already; I'm guessing that will stay the same when she moves.

friend?

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about such things. Both parties need to put as much effort into maintaining the relationship as they feel inclined to. To use the excuse that the individual who left or stayed has the sole responsibility based on that position, simply doubles the likelihood that the relationship will flounder.

Whoever gives a damn enough to make the effort.

The relationship should be terminated immediately.
Seriously, if you're asking questions like this, you're thinking about it all wrong.
...what CarolL said.

It isn't a responsibility or an obligation...if we are still friends, we will probably want to keep in touch. Plus, they have this new thing out called e-mail....

I agree! True friends wouldn't expect too much from their pals. If you feel obligated to bear the responsibility of maintaining the relationship, it's not a real friendship. When you love and care about friends, you naturally want to stay in touch or at least know how to keep in touch. Sometimes busy lives get in the way of keeping in touch like we should with our friends, but REAL friends understand and wouldn't make it an issue.

We each share the same responsibility for maintaining the relationship, but I have lost many friendships because either they or I did not try to maintain it. Only a close handful have I really cared to maintain and these were the ones that I was really, really close to, to begin with. And on these, the responsibility was shared.

It depends on who is saner, if your friend is an eccentric loner, maybe you should make the extra effort. The loner can't help it.

Exactly. I have this conversation quite often with my friends because, like you said, busy lives get in the way sometimes. I have two or three really good, long-time friends that when we haven't seen each other for a month, six months or even longer it doesn't matter. When we do hook up again it's like no time at all has passed. We are just really glad to be together again.

Nothing should change as far as just keeping in touch.

A friendship is a friendship.....If it needs maintaining, then you're just friendly associates.

Both, long-distance friendships don't work unless both people are willing to make the effort.

There is no reason for the responsibility to change hands when someone moves.

I suck at keeping in touch.

Both should. I have lost being in touch with ppl because they stop staying in touch, if I don't hear from them after a few months after I have tried a couple times I too will stop. I have one very good friend who shares the "burden" with me. We have stayed in touch for 30 years!

I read over some of the comments and just feel like stating that relationships need care and some work. If I ran in to someone who had stopped contact with me I wouldn't snub that person at all, but I really believe no matter how busy you get you shouldn't allow months to go by with out getting in touch with someone you consider a good dear friend. On the average it should be 50/50.

I'm the one on the other side of this situation. I'm the friend that moves away. My best friend and I have been mates for 11 years and I've moved away twice now! When I move the first time it was me that kept in contact with her, then i moved back. Now I've moved again, we are both making the same effort.

Equal responsibility

If your true friends, there's no "responsibility" to it, you just get on with your lives and get in contact when you can. I dont hold my best friend "responsible" for keeping in contact with me, and she doesnt me, but we do call once in awhile..but life is a responsibility in iteslf, why add to that?

I think it should be on them. But with email and instant messeging, there really isnt a good reason not to.